/brit/

kill yourselves you subhuman anglos I spit on your queen

>>65950826
t. 18 year old
it will catch up with you soon

Plymouth

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gf just sent me this

Big J shan't be pleased with this

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>>65950860

>>65950849
>>65950879
now you have to fight each other

>>65950860
Suck me Dovydas

Unpopular opinion: people who get scammed don't deserve compensation

Anime

>>65950959
Wouldn't really call that unpopular desu

Caveat emptor

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rate my new bike

cost me £2750 (that's a GOOD deal)

bus riders not allowed to comment

>>65950994
It is here

>>65950959
You'd be the type of cunt that says this and then actually whinge when you get scammed.

>>65951001
*opens door as you drive past me*

>>65950886
quite like this

>>65951001
what style of bike is that? i prefer that to racer styles or long handled harley types.

>>65951001
white rims makes it look shit

>>65951011
Ive lost loads and just suck it up

>>65950827
Lizzie 2bh

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>>65951033
*takes your insurance details*

ahh yes peugeot 306

>>65951058
kind of a muscle bike crossed with cafe racer

bare cold 2bh family members

>>65951064
bet you suck up more than that ;)

>>65951058
Is this bait?

That is a racing style bike

>>65951086
*goes to court*

>>65951086
It's a complete piece of shit I can tell you that right now

>>65951101
Homophone

>>65951107
*shows video of you opening your door in traffic*

>>65951107
*successfully prove cafe racer was above the speed limit when hitting your door*
*shakes your hand*
my fee is a meager 4999 britbucks sir

cheeky carrot soup then a warm bath

>>65951148
*hums chain gang softly while crying*

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Going to a job interview
Is this sufficient?

i'm not as think as you drunk i am

>fireworks go on sale this weekend
>there's a complicated procedure for selling them and i'm scared i'm gonna get caught out by a test purchase and arrested

shitting it lads ;_;

>>65951187
Die poof

>>65951148
*visits you in prison*

don't worry la I'll take care of your gf

How is everyone then?

>>65951187
bit overdressed 2bh

>>65951214
what procedure?

>>65951214
*shoves a roman candle up your bum and lights the fuse*

>>65951248
Suicidally depressed so just another day in paradise haha

>>65951260
i don't even know it hasn't been properly explained to me

Hnnngg, Liz Jones.

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>Labour

>>65951354
uhh...

that's a bloke, lad

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>>65951354
FUCK OFF POOF

>>65951354
*hides post*

>>65951298
>go to firework shop
>pick your fireworks
>pay for fireworks
>walk out of shop

what's so hard?

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>>65951354

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>>65951079
she's too spooky for me now

>>65951369
victims of history, unironically
the centre left needs to find a way to extricate itself from the corbyites without tainting itself with the stink of the libdems

>>65951421
i'm working at the shop selling them to people

we have some thing where we double ID check, call for a manager, the manager has to go and retrieve the fireworks while the customer waits somewhere, a receipt has to be signed, etc etc.

getting a bit fat :(

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special relationship

gee gee gee baby baby baby

>>65951501
oh I thought you were buying them, how silly.

although i've never been ID checked

>>65951501
that;s if you're under 18 and selling fireworks/alcohol

hows sixth form la

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not a fan of the THICC gimmick desu

skinny women are the best

>>65951529
>>65951540
well i have to challenge anyone under 25

nope it's the store procedure for all of us

day off because I felt rough

feel okayish now though lol

cooking up a big bowl of chilli with rice right now

>>65951509
no such thing

not since the suez crisis and the troubles at least

you decided the EU was a better ally that us a long time ago, scum

fucking chilli wanker loves his fucking chilli

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>>65951592
don't fight it

maisie lives in my hometown lads

the other week my mum met her walking her dog in the park

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>>65951354
His arse is fake

Prefer real ones

>>65951632
yer mum walked maisie in the park mate?

>>65951564
superb post

this might actually be my favourite yankpost of all time

havin a holiday today lads

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During her period at Marie Claire she began to write about her life, and met the journalist Nirpal Dhaliwal, who had been sent by BBC Radio in 2000 to interview her. Jones embarked on a seven-year relationship with him; their “disastrous” marriage of four years ended in 2007. Wanting to become pregnant while with an earlier boyfriend, she has written: «I resolved to steal his sperm from him in the middle of the night. I thought it was my right, given that he was living with me and I had bought him many, many M&S ready meals... One night, after sex, I took the used condom and, in the privacy of the bathroom, I did what I had to do.» On a shortly lived chat–show presented by Katie Hopkins on The Learning Channel in 2015, Jones again described attempting to deposit the sperm in her vagina, «Cos it can crawl, can’t it?» Hopkins asked her: «Liz are you normal?»

/yang gf 2016/ lads

>>65951354
>female
>>65951564
>male
>>65951637
>male
what a world we live in

>>65951637
> FLAT ARSE

lad even my arse has more shape to it

/ying bf 2016/ lads

Really not a fan of this Brexit gimmick.
When will May finally announce its a joke

Nothing quite makes you want to kill yourself like having a job interview

>>65951715
just wait until you flunk it

>>65951731
spook

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any tim updates?

haven't been following the story arc for a few weeks

>>65951685
Looks decently perky for me

>>65951690
What's a ying?

JME

>>65951704
she'll just leave it until all the dumb poortherners forget the vote even happened

>>65951715
Why don't you? If anything it'll free up the jobs for us normal people

>>65951753
nah mate he's in high wycombe and gone dark

assumed dpd man and dentist have murdered him

>>65951765
Serious post

How much do you guys pay for insurance

>>65951055
donald trum for presid ANY LAST WORDS BITCH? *bang*

>>65951813
I ride a bicycle

>>65951623
>when Nick Clegg's children ask where their membership of the E.U. went.jpg

>>65951813
2 grand

you should pay it 3 monthly though m8

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>I ride a bicycle

Almost sharted on the Bus lads. Feel like crawling back into bed desu

>>65951835
now this is a meme I can get ANY LAST WORDS BITCH? *bang*

>>65951813
0

I steal it

>>65951742
>implying I already haven't

>not riding a bicycle

It's like you love pissing money away

>>65951813
0

I pirate my insurance.

But seirously, £800

11500 karma on reddit lads

>>65951913
not everyones life is contained to a few square miles.

>>65951913
I've had 3 bikes nicked in my life, and I live in a posh city

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>13:18

I heard, that there are two different ways to pronounce 't' in the words.
To pronounce it or don't pronouce it.
For example: Water or "Wa'er"
Is the second way common in Britain? Or in London only?

brb lads just going to cycle a few dozen miles like a knobhead

>>65951848
>>65951930
Jesus I thought my 250 was bad

>>65952039
>not being able to cycle a couple dozen miles easily

fetti was geht

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>>65951936
>>65951774
>normal people

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>>65952052
Yeah, 'course you did.

Cunt.

>>65952052
alri hows the 1litre cilo with 10 years no claims

>>65952090
>>65952092
I ride a motorbike

>>65952012
depends on the class and regional accent

>>65952012
>I heard, that there are two different ways to pronounce 't' in the words

Yeah, the right way and the uneducated way.

WISHING for a way to filter any posts by flag

>>65952012
it's called a glottal stop and it's found in dialects in the inbred regions of britain

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gf just faxed me this

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>>65952109
>i drive a mode of transport which is objectively the most dangerous and reserved for chads

>>65952162
>get 4chanx
>click the arrow next to the post number
>hover over filter and click flag
>refresh the page

you are now breathing

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>>65952208
If only it would stop

>>65952109
What do you drive, a moped?

Motorbike insurance is through the roof

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Is jerking off with your cousins on omegle a popular past time among brit lads?

>>65952181
nothing wrong with a moterbike, it's just all fucking mongs ride it

>>65952256
I'm this guy

>>65951086
>>65951001

I pay £250 fully comp

Also get 70mpg

Maybe you should get a bike m8

>>65952274
as it happens, Alberto, no, no it isn't

>>65952274
can't say I've ever done that

>>65952274
why do you have such an obsession with british game of thrones characters?

>>65952280
>moterbike

FOY

>>65951813
Just got mine renewed for 480+76 break down.

t.18 year old

>>65952012
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glottal_stop
>"Wa'er"
proscribed

also see the
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dental,_alveolar_and_postalveolar_flaps#Occurrence
in am. english.

Parents bought me a fob watch for my birthday as a 'curio'

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>>65952304
>>65952317
so its a pasttime reserved for wealthy families?

jesus Christ CNN is fucked

>>65952386
sounds like the kind of shite royalty would be in to

no expert my self tho

why o you ask? common in Portugal?

>>65952295
Not bad

Still bewildered that your cover is that cheap, how old are you?

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>>65952412
20

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did are nige help donny win last night?

>>65952274
>>65952386
not sure if i like where this is going lads

People are going out for food tonight but I'm kind of embarrassed showing my face.

Dunno what to do. I think they all think I'm mental now.

>speeding past pale, flabby car-cucks on my bicycle

Good feel

>>65952439
what did he mean by this?

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>>65952406
>common in Portugal?
nah, just saw your lad Tommen doing it and wondered if it was a usual thing.

>>65952457
>embarrassed showing my face

why?

>>65951369
THOUSAND
YEAR
TORY
REICH

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>>65952388
I hate it when they switch from their american programms to international ones and cover up the ticker with the one for international viewers.

>>65952386
>>65952477
Explain

>You'd be in jail

B T F O
T
F
O

>>65952501
he looks for videos of young lads wanking and wants to discuss it here

>>65952439
what did nige do last night?

>>65952477
who in the fuck is Tommen?

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>>65952501
the actor who plays tommen on game of thrones may or may not have been recorded jerking off with his cousin on omegle

he is 19 btw

>>65952496
what's the ticker?

>>65952489
Acted like a depressed nutter the last few days and turned up at a party already wasted from drinking on my own.

Most of the reason for the bender is because I realised the girl I like doesn't give a fuck about me. That just did a lot to remind me how much of a fucking loser I am.

>>65952558
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1_QoHu8EJM

>>65952560
Do you have a link then?

>>65952527
I thought he was just going into auto–destruction at that time, [hands on my head] "well, all I can do now is enjoy the train–crash".

>>65952580
>getting that caught up over a girl you're not even involved with

wew my lad

>>65952563
the part at the bottom of the screen that gives the main news and a summary description.

>>65952585
>>>/hm/1444114

trigger warning: pencil dick

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>>65952527
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgSwZuTZSQk

>>65952558
Tommen Lannister is a fictional character from Game of Thrones.
He's the son of Cersei Lannister and Jaime Lannister, was king of Westeros for a time, and was married to Margery Tyrell.
He jumped from the window in his bedroom in the Red Keep after his mother burned his wife (and like a hundred other people) to death.

>>65952630
bit gay this

>>65952643
I see

Thought Tommen didnt sound very british/real

>ask gf is everything is ok
>"Let's talk about it tomorrow or something, lot of bad stuff has gone down recently and It's v important to me that yr birthday is a happy and stress free day"

Ah yes

>>65952709
FONT

>>65952709
happy birthday :)

>>65952643
>>65952702
His parents in the show are also incestuous twins so its all the more fitting that he is wanking with his cousin irl.

https://twitter.com/Goudie15/status/785227763171164161
Howling

>>65952709
Reply to me on facebook tim haha

>>65952729
thanks mate, it'll be over in 10 xoxo

>>65952742
oh
hope you had a good one hahaha

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>>65952740
Excuse me?

>>65952709
perfect, you can now spend your whole birthday wondering what the fuck is wrong and what tomorrow will bring

well played by her desu

>>65952614
Yeah, I know. All it's really done is cement a few things about myself.

GF2016 is already over anyway

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look at this fuckign dog

>>65952709
Do girls do classes in emotional manipulation?

Bit disappointed in how Cottonmouth went out
was not a fitting end to that particular story arc

not a happy bunny

>>65952828
thanks for the spoiler

>>65952859
I will spoil the entire show
Not like you're watching it anyway

>>65952850
tell us what happened lad

>>65952804
fat cunt

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Think /gf2016/ may be coming to a close lads, I've found the one

>>65952926
bit out of your league mate

>>65952926
Yuo deserve to get a brain tumour yourself for this post

next election is gonna be so shit

thatcher v2 v commiebyn

>>65952896
instead of getting defensive perhaps just think before speaking next time.

>>65952926
she'll still get more matches than me

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hate that we're raised to be shit with girls

ppl from latin america and spain and italy are taught 2 be real smooth with women. they learn to dance, they learn to sweet talk.

the best we can hope for is smashing drunken slags or coming off as awkardly charming in a notting hill sort of way.

>>65952957
you honestly aren't watching it though

>>65953011
if you say so

>>65952999
>I have no game therefore none of us do

fuck off virgin

>>65952999
still a level playing ground
it's your own fault

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>>I have no game therefore none of us do

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>I have game

>>65953033
nah its a british thing man.

i've never seen a british person whose good at dancing

i seldom see anyone charm the socks of a girl, the same way people from spain can.

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>nah its a british thing man.
>i've never seen a british person whose good at dancing
>i seldom see anyone charm the socks of a girl, the same way people from spain can.

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>nah its a british thing man.
>i've never seen a british person whose good at dancing
>i seldom see anyone charm the socks of a girl, the same way people from spain can.

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>nah its a british thing man.
>i've never seen a british person whose good at dancing
>i seldom see anyone charm the socks of a girl, the same way people from spain can.

a "rat-infested North Korean union shop" before adding: "I can't turn on the bloody 9 O'Clock News without having to see Ingrid Miley's face giving me the latest spew from the Trotskyites and all the rest of it."

based mick desu

it's a hat-off

I want a good clean fight lads

Why is Ivanka Trump so fit

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Ya'll got five, Tommy Wright got ten
Ten Wanted Men never hard to find
I already know where yall stay, it's on your tape
(East Ninety Nine)
I'mma leave you bleeding off that Cleveland
Flat foot asking for directions
Aye dawg you know where Bone stay?
(Next house) thanks playa *pop* Smith & Wesson
I don't give a fuck, got my hand on the pump
Get buck nigga didn't believe
Tommy Wright could do it so crunk
Balling through the hood tell my nigga guess what? (what?)
I got bone off in my trunk (for real?)

HAT HAT HAT HAT HAT

>>65953063
spics and southern europeans have no jobs and sit around in the sun all day. of course they're relaxed and sociable

>>65953221
jewish/slovene mother

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>>65953221
I don't think so

That fake tit plastic surgery stuff turns me off big time


Girls like pic related are the patricians choice

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poo

>>65953221
she has a grabable pussy

>First day of two week holiday from work
>Bored already

how do NEETs do it

post slags lmao

>>65953368
video games
substance abuse
/brit/

>>65953368
do something you fucking berk

>taking holiday to sit and post on the 'chon

>>65953401
I'm going to Berlin in a day

>Dissing the 'chon

>>65953394
How do you fund it though

>>65953368
you have become so dependent on work you cannot live without it

congratulations you have become the goodest goy

>>65952630
give us an acttual link

link there doesn't work

oi oi

cheeky lads hahaha wahey

oi oi!

slags lmao

>>65953441
>>65953455
quintessentially /brit/ish posts

how does zara larsson, a white swedish girl, end up sounding like a rihanna impersonator?

why are there so many Canadian animations on UK tv

Need a bf desu lads

got called a racist on the pommel horse

>>65952999
TRIPS OF EMOTION
>TAKE
>THESE BROKEN WINGS

>>65953512
what you need is jesus in your life

>>65953536
Not into Mexican lads desu

>4 [Enter]
>r [Enter]

admit it lads this is the first thing you do when you get on t'computer

>press menu on my remotes
>puts the sound up by 7

ahh yes very good

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Westminster voting intention:
CON: 43% (+2)
LAB: 26% (-)
LDEM: 8% (-)
UKIP: 11% (-3)
GRN: 6% (+2)
(via ICM / 07 - 09 Oct)

>>65953423
JSA/UC

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>>65953565

sat on a desk reading a book on Marxism whilst waiting for a lecture.

3 girls then sat around me.

Is this how Chad feels?

>>65953569
>r
?

dont

>>65953574
Based Corbyn ridding us of New Labour and letting the right-wing take over

whens the racewar lads

haha lads phoned up the job centre and got some twat from northern ireland or something

was mouth breathing out his nut, mentioned the famine a few times, he got so angry he gave me a shit appointment, smfh 9:30

shan't be dealing with those runts again tbqh

>>65953624
tomorrow mate

>>65953441
LADS LADS LADS LADS

>>65953569
wot

>>65953624
what time?

can i have a wank before it starts?

why did you change

>>65953642
first one probably autocompletes to 4chan
don't know why he's typing 'r'

>>65953592
answers lads, it was so unreal.

They sat there through out the whole lecture, felt like a fucking don.

corbyn & clinton will win

screencap this post

>>65953673
-eddit perhaps

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>>65953624

>>65953618
>dont
?

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http://vocaroo.com/i/s0tVRqecaaVI
r8 how bad mah English is.

>>65952888
have a look at this tits lads

lads is the key to a womens heart a willy?

>>65953685
disgusting
>>65953687
you know

>>65953423
esa, they would have me on jobseekers but I'm an awkward autistic mess

also when I was a kid I was in a car crash and had a substantial amount of money awarded to my trust account

>>65953631
I genuinely had to call a call centre in bloody Scotland of all places

Had to keep asking them to repeat themselves as I couldn't make out a word of what they were saying lmao

tried to swerve into a bus while riding my bike haha but swerved back a bit before the hit

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>>65953682
>Corbyn will win

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>>65953704
it's good, I could understand all of it

Shall be getting on the bus again sometime around 9-12 again tonight

wonder if I'll see her again

Pretty sure a 50 year old woman just flirted with me lads

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>>65953685

>>65953704
Only a few things I didn't catch, pretty good overall
How are you learning?

>>65953569
I type in b to get to 4chan 2bh

just flirted with this pathetic manchild so he felt better about himself haha

anyway what do you want for tea lads

>>65953708
if it didn't have a face like an over inflated balloon covered in makeup

I shall be creating the next thread,

It will be at 315 posts and will be an anime edition.

>>65953708
huh

I reversed search that pic as I thought I recognised her, realised I actually matched with her (remember she had loads of followers on ig) on tinder or bumble like a year ago

Small world

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>>65953708
very good

>>65953760
old women love to be suggestive and flirt for fuck all reason i swear

>>65953709

nah you just gotta grab her by the pussy

I know what you're thinking, don't think that

Can you die from taking a shit?

Honestly feel like I'm going to have a brain aneurysm and heart attack every time I shit

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what did her nose mean by this?

>>65953168
Who is Ingrid Miley?

>>65953806
She kept laughing at everything I said, kept touching my shoulder and playing with her hair. Weird.

>>65953708
>this [plural noun]

bin thyself

>>65953816
High blood pressure

Go to your GP

>>65953816
people haev strokes on the shitter

>>65953827
don't like kpop but it can get stuck if snotty

>>65953816
yeah when you push too hard you can have an aneurysm
not for everyone. the ones who have an underlying condition can die

>>65953843
hum that's just being nice

>>65953704

Its pretty good desu. You could probably improve your pronunciation (and lessen your accent) by speaking with Brits/Yanks but i managed to follow what you were saying pretty easily

>>65953816
dont think so but when I took a monster shit few months ago I was pushing so hard I felt my head veins popping, ended up tearing my arsehole or something because whenever I take a sit now the last bit always hurts and when I wipe theres always a small amount of blood

scared of shitting now a days tbqh

>>65953816
No but you'll get piles

Stop straining lad and eat more fiber

>>65953859
slag should blow her nose then

>>65953870
>yeah when you push too hard you can have an aneurysm
>not for everyone. the ones who have an underlying condition can die
holy shit

>>65953827
why does the footage suddenly stop like that?

im guessing because the nose immediately returns to normal or something.

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>>65953331
this and yugoslavian genes

8 seconds off the fastest time lads

can't even get remotely close

monte carlo doing my nut in

today is world mental health day lads

>>65953704
do all ruskies learn english?

>>65953827
fucking revolting how people find these goblins attractive

How long do you lads usually spend taking a shit? I usually take a good 30-45 mins

>>65953908

my health is pretty mental haha

>>65953921
good 2 hours desu

>>65953873

or you can just eat normally and not like a fat cunt

>>65953921
I bring my laptop and phone, so around 30-45 minutes too

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>>65953776
>>65953751
>>65953871
Thanks, I didn't expected.
>How are you learning?
Youtube/Cambridge dictionary/practise with my tutor.
Where did I admit mistakes?
>>65953910
Yes, but not everyone learned

>>65953873
>when I wipe theres always a small amount of blood

That's pretty normal, your arse is full of little blood vessels and tears will heal up in a day or two.

>>65953921
I can spend all day in there on me phone playin candy crush

Genuinely spend about 40 minutes in the shower minimum

Don't understand how people shower so fast, you'll still be dirty if you came out of the shower in 10 minutes

highlight of the day: three girls chose to sit next to me

>>65953908
Haha I'm pretty fucked

Severe depression/anxiety

>>65953889
sometimes when I shit a big log I have to push too hard and I start having pins & needles in my feet and leg. and like yeah my brain start hurting a bit and stuff etc. just don't push much, you never know when you're going to have an aneurysm

>>65953221
don't forget hmmmm Tiffany.
>>65953940
Biкicлoвник

Greater London is black

>>65953940
what attracted you yo use british English?

>>65953974
>Genuinely spend about 40 minutes in the shower minimum
same, but that's because I browse 4chan on my phone in the shower

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>>65953977
u wit the gyaldem

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Here's your fact of the day lads

>>65953873

>when I wipe theres always a small amount of blood

If its lightly coloured then its just from wiping and you dont need to worry. If its darker it could be from your liver or some shit. If its constant you should go to your GP though

>>65953975

>>65953975

>>65953975

wahey

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London Bridge is buring down while Brixton's burning up.

I literally take cocks up my arse and it never bleeds. How are yours all so fragile?

>>65954012
take pics next time x

>>65953974
usually in and out the bathroom within 10 minutes, shave and teeth brushing included

>>65954034
you know that mc is full blown radicalised muslim now right?

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>>65953999
I love that pronunciation.
American sounds, hm, a little bit retardic. They pronounce everything like they have porridge in their mouthes.

>>65953974
same
longer if i take my phone in with me

>>65953806
yeah and they do it at very innapropriate times desu

having a nice vape sesh