/brit/

>>65904322
>19 seconds
not bad not bad at all

Not a fan of the earth's rotation on it's axis. Before the sun in my windows used to pass across my floor, now it is going across the bottom of my couch and on my legs. Soon it'll be on my torso and face.

Gonna have to rotate my entire living room so I face away from the window

how can Drake be such a melt yet so cool at the same time

mental

https://youtu.be/RubBzkZzpUA?list=PL0-0_2HzQG_GRVYKsR6wIvttRoHeJg5lp

reckon a LOT more people would be anti-abortion if they saw what late-term-abortions actually look like

been a while since an australian has replied to one of my posts

I'd like to keep it that way

>>65904322
Never met anyone as autistic as you Matt.
Don't you need to sleep at some point?
Surely you can't just spend all day waiting for new /brit/ threads to be made to spam your yellow fever in?

>>65904322
hi~
did you have fun at the archery range yesterday?

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>work tomorrow

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Every Brit in this thread listen to this Album right now.

Seriously, if this island had a soundtrack other than orchestra it'd be this, especially if you live in a city like Manchester, London, Birmingham etc Just give this gem a listen guys

Recommend tracks:
>In McDonald's
>Raver
>Shell of Light

POST THE RECORDING OF YOU FUCKING THE CHINESE PROZZIE MATE

don't dog the boyssss

>>65904402
>especially if you live in a city like Manchester, London, Birmingham

So if I am statistically either black or a paki?

>>65904402
mate it's not 2008 anymore we've all heard it by now

>>65904402
his first album is better

>>65904402
untrue? complete it mate.

>>65904422
>Being racist

>>65904402
Alright mate will check it out. I recommend you to check out Get Lucky by Daft Punk

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Tempted to buy a million view 4chan advertisement for /int/ which would be a picture of the Falklands with a union jack on them and "The Falklands are British, definitely not Argentine" wrote across it. But is pissing off some Argie runts on the chon really worth 250 yankbucks?

I've ran out of cum lads

Had none in me for 2 days

>>65904454
>hard mathematical facts are racist

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>>65904402
Think I'll fire up the ol' record player this fine Sunday morning

>>65904468
I'm sorry you live in such fear over nothing everyday. I hope you get better

>>65904460
definitely lad, definitely.

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Me when browsing porn sites

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forgot my myers-briggs type

>>65904486
>owning records
nerd alert

>>65904460
set up a crowdsourcing account I'll definitely contribute 10p

Man Dobby's a right little spastic. His plan doesn't even make any sense

>>65904493
are you going today aswell?

>>65904495
I watched that movie, it was pretty nice.

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>myers-briggs type

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height makes her open her eyes in shock.
girth makes her close them in ecstasy.

Never met a nice South African 2bh

morning lads. got a bit of a headache.

how are you lot doin?

https://www.reddit.com/r/TotallyStraight/comments/569osn/im_depressed_tonight_can_you_guys_help_me_out/?st=iu2gfxxy&sh=ea0681d6

Tragic

got called a little legend in the tescos car park when I downed a whole pack of mcvities

really want the American elections to end as soon as possible to get my mum to stop whining about Trump every day

it's mindboggling how much she hates Trump despite the fact she's not American

>>65904519

Might do a kickstarter for a "Falklands awareness campaign" then

TASK MASTER BURST THE BIONIC ZED SPLITTA

>>65904550
they're all cunts

>>65904550
youtube.com/serpentza

>>65904565
This site will get 100x better once the elections are over

Tom Scott looks like Matthew Macfadyen

I am going to tackle The Brothers Karamazov

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https://strawpoll.de/7sb8erb
you'll be happy to know i stole about 7 dollars over the course of like 20 minutes and can now do laundry for free for the next few months

>>65904550
that's not bloody surprising man

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making a cup of tea

>>65904637
just keep it below the neck haha

>>65904600
middle class chinese cities look quite comfy. basically just western cities but without the degeneracy.

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Aussie post your prozzie recording pls

ISTJ-T

Jacob Rees-Mogg can't be real can he?

>>65904690
No, he's some sort of mass delusion we're all having

was having a legit debate with some other anon in another thread and I just lost interest in said debate so now it looks like I lost when in reality I just couldn't be arsed replying haha

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doing an aeropress

>>65904690
let's hope so

>>65904565
desu they go on way too long
I think this year we had the longest election ever and people never stopped complaining and it was only like 10 weeks. They NEED a better system


>>65904644
Wahey

INFP here

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>.jpg-large.jpg

>>65904677
>plunder

It's chunder you mong

third date with the (prospective) gf today

haven't kissed her yet

need to kiss her today

fuck

not even a beta male, the chance just hasn't come up

ASIO here
Where is this so-called Thainonce?

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got an acquaintence who's a hairdresser and he's into the gayest shit, full nu male motorbikes, tats, sick beards et al

that said once showered with him and another bloke so who's the poof then?

Well lads, I just avoided becoming a wizard. Thank fuck for that.

>>65904637
see you in 6 months when you finish it LOL

need to kill some cats and other vermin today

>>65904728
There's basically no way to regulate the duration of election campaigns. Someone could start a campaign for 2020 right now if they wanted to

WITNESS THE FITNESS

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>>65904739

I didnt make it, just trying to get the prozzie aussies attention.

Pls post recording prozzie aussie, itll be good bants, youll be a proper legend

>>65904773
congrats mate

dap

>>65904763
>mancave

ahh yes, nothing says manly like convincing your gf to let you have a space in the house where you can store your things

There is absolutely nothing wrong with loving Russia and opposing the evil American empire.

Anyone having regrets about voting out?

>>65904773
whats the cutoff, 30?

>>65904739
no it isn't you twat that's a different verse

>>65904820
20

>>65904817
t. remoaner trying to convince himself bregret is a thing

>>65904803
is the prozzie asian?
think I've lost interest now

>>65904828
No, it's Chunder Wumba, they were a Tory rock band

>>65904820
Yeah, had 7 years to go.

>>65904831
N-no!

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>>65904815
Feel like a mancave element should be added to the Deano/Barrat copypasta 2bh

>>65904845
Not really. Just watching Sunday Politics and thought I'd ask.

Were you In or Out?

love wanking

*busts out a rap*

morning lads

>>65904763
i can and will hit a lick on any undercut+huge beard rocking poofters

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>tfw you come downstairs in your ratty pyjamas and the lad you'll spend the rest of your life getting cummed in by is sat at your table shovelling bacon into his gob

>>65904885
well good morning

>>65904856
what are you on about you nutcase

>>65904862
Top Golf
Fantasy football
Paddy power
All inclusive holidays

>>65904831
fugg panicked for a second there
joke's on you I'm only 19

moaning lads

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>Scottish "people"

>>65904885
evenin

>>65904495
movie?>>65904545

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one of my gfs

>>65904817
Massively so

Thought it would give us more clout at negotiations didn't think we'd actually fucking do it

can't remember where my fuck up just is

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>>65904910
>donut

mornin george

>>65904862
Man cave is an American thing

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had a VERY poor sleep

>>65904877
out

making a meme

>>65904918
>all I can talk about is sex
>don't message me about sex
wat

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>>65904918
>blankets

>>65904955
ah shit i remember this. that tshirt though lol

really despise the fact that you english wankers have got me, a scottish person, using your words like tbhfam

don't people realise they are simply DNA vessels and nothing more? DNA created us for its own ends.

>>65904966
fuck off rapist

>>65904919
lmao it's because of nitwits like you we voted out, that and corbyn

>>65904991
what's its end goal ?

>>65904942
>implying the sorts of runts who buy these houses haven't embraced it along with other American things like having turkey at Christmas

https://twitter.com/CuntsWatching/status/664198399244144640

hao ling

>>65904991
really makes the noggin cogs whirl

Lads
Is size 10 big for a girl?
Is 32D big or small for the booby region

Mum didn't know what to vote on the referendum day so I just told her to vote leave and she did it haha

Need some middleage normie parents facebook posting pls

>>65905008

immortality

>>65904966
A girl showed me her okcupid inbox once and it was full of creepy shit

>>65905050
prove it

>>65905008
crashing this plane

>>65905050
>>65904991
really making me think

good news lads

the wife has allowed me a small room in the house i pay for to store my beanbags and tv so i can watch the footy in peace (sometimes!!) hahaha absolutely ripper!!

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>>65904991

masturbating

defecating

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8qcH7yND1Q

>>65905029
32D is a good lovely size

>>65905070
>>65905071
thank you so much for your outstanding contributions

i was jugging finessin & flexin
til i ran into the plug

thinking

>>65904817
I voted remain, but the fact that countries like India, Australia, South Korea, and Mexico (and a few other cunts) have all said that they want to sign trade deals as soon as we leave makes it a bit better
The Aussies being the good lads that they were have said that they'll send their trade negotiators to work with the Government in trade deals and start to train our first trade negotiators

Also, Trump saying that if he wins that we'll be first in line is good

>>65905057

its written in a book

>>65905099
Trump says a lot of things lad

>>65905092
what r u thinkin about

>>65905091
Etre de la dehors

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white people BTFO

>>65905116
im ballin on you niggas dont nobody fuck with you cause u a scrub

>>65905131
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

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https://twitter.com/KatePow3ll/status/785039629846274049

I wonder how our lives would be different if all the continents were closer together

>>65905113
I'm just trying to have a positive outlook on things

A trade agreement is far more realistic than a 2000 mile long wall that's 10 foot tall

Loving Death Grips - Money Store, you can get it on Spotify or Soundcloud!

>>65905131
wouldn't mind a tail if I could control it 2bh

>it's a "wake up at 11 angry with the gf for some reason" episode
can't wait to see what develops from this story arc lads

Psychedelics allow you to see unfiltered brain activity that is always present, but usually blocked to keep you in your safe, conditioned mental space. It freaks out the hive when one of the ants just wanders off alone. A caterpillar talking about growing wings would be considered insane.

>>65905089
no dramas

>drive from London to Scotland on a singe tank of petrol

I don't care that it's a magic car that's obviously bullshit. Immersion destroyed

was drunk last night and decided my living room was a good place to practice my tee-off

fucking wall is covered in holes

>>65905195
I like them but people who read too much into the experience are only damaging themselves 2bh

>>65905190
Are you sure?
On my TV right now it's a "woke up wanting to spoon but you realised you dumped the gf so had a good few wanks to shit on /gif/ and then got depressed" episode

>>65905161
Cannot comprehend why someone would be vegan unless they're some "spiritual" pretentious spastic or some shite

>>65905228
keep your pineal gland closed my friend

>>65905218
What car?

>>65904917
please

>>65905255
no

>>65905260

Renault Clio

>>65905255
would step on 100 of em for a kebab

>>65905255

yeah

Really think the whole clown prank thing began just as a viral marketing tactic by some marketing firm to build hype around scary clowns before the new It movie releases 2bh

>>65905255
yeah then id give like £100m to some dog's home to make everything ok

>>65905255
Yes
I wouldn't kill it
I might lightly tread on its tail and spend £2,000 getting it fixed if it breaks

>>65905235
Yeah just double checked la

>>65905244
FUCK OFF MURDERER

>>65905250
enjoy ur schizophrenic delusions my friend, keep looking into sacred geometry im sure you'll find the answer x

Doing a coffee

>>65905276
>france

>>65905255
>tfw you see all the people on facebook commenting that they wouldn't do it

I don't think they can comprehend the sum of 18 billion dollars

>>65905279
that's my theory too desu

that or the purge tv show

>>65905298
I've found the answer so I hung up the phone

>>65905255
i'd smash the fuck out of that thing, for like, £10,000

>>65905255
Well, yeah obviously. Unless it can cure cancer or can write out the secrets to interstellar travel, yeah

Business idea: become a cat

wrecked my laptop and too skint to get a new one oh dear oh dear

>>65905274
Yeah its possible
I have one with a 1.6 and if I do 65 in 6th gear that's when I can get the best MPG and the trip computer says I can get about 450 miles on a full tank

London to Greta Green is only 326 miles

I drove from Preston to Plymouth on one tank and then had enough petrol for a few days of driving around there and filled up the morning I was to drive back

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>Well, yeah obviously. Unless it can cure cancer or can write out the secrets to interstellar travel, yeah

>>65905222
>>65905355
Why is every Irish person an absolute mentalist

>>65905355
what did you learn from this experience?

>>65905297
Well that's what it is on my TV
Quite a sad episode
I think its going to be on repeat for the next few weeks

For everybody hoping that Trump loses the election: Even if he does, keep in mind that Trump is a symptom, not the root cause of the problem

>>65905376
fascinating

*walks away and talks to someone else*

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>>65905298

jokes on you i had those before i started abusing acid

>>65905381
reminds me of the lad who drives around drunk in a car that not only is uninsured but unregistered for the road hahaha

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oh my days

>>65905161
Christ that could easily be taken out of context

>>65905429
pictured: an author who is better than sartre

reminder bendy buses had someone who would give you snacks on board.

it was a mistake to get rid of them

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haha lads had a sick night was pinging to fuck, gurning my fucking face off

>>65905443
Are those Lima beans?

condom slipped off inside her lads

had to dig it out

my short term memory is absolutely shot to pieces, I have to fight to remember something for 5 seconds.

yet if I try and recall something from months ago and struggle to do so, I can cast that thought to the back of my mind and the answer will appear an hour later.

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gf on the right

>>65905443
>1 snout
>barely enough weed for a joint
>2 paracetamol

would not even gatecrash

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>>65905449

good lad

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>seeing death grips on wednesday

>>65905443
Don't believe this to be real

>>65905381
didn't smash it up or anything just spilled beer on it

>>65905485
me on the left

>>65905457
crease

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she didn't reply lads

>>65905485
>No eyebrows
Jesus Christ
Most girls look ok without makeup but she's terrifying

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can't put my finger on what makes british women the best in the world

>>65905503
hello nigger

>>65905535
terrible not even funny what sort of punchline is that

>>65905485
women are so 2 faced

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbaFq043TiE

>>65905550
>pic unrelated

Back from the barbers and unsurprisingly, the paki fucked it up

At least instead of doing too much, he did almost nothing at all

I was very fucking clear with him, if the hair isn't growing from the scalp - cut it
The bastard then proceeds to cut the hair that was creeping over my ear
I tell him to stop fucking doing that and repeat my instructions
"oh you mean like an undercut"

After that, he does the sides right I suppose, not like there was much to do, just lift the hair and run the machine over it

The bullshit was the back, he left it mostly untouched, just cleaned up the bottom part, the very bottom part
The worst part was when he said that he'd even it up but I have no fucking idea what he actually did, did he cut the hair growing from the top of my head shorter? or did he make the shorter hair shorter?

I paid 7 quid for this shit
Had to watch 3 of his friends jump the queue too

>>65905550
2 > 4 > 3 > 1 > 5 = 6

>>65905485
why she got no eyebrows though

>>65905550
Strong jaws and extra fat, they will survive well in the wild

>>65905535
Cos you called her mate tb h

>>65905560
stupid bitch asked a stupid question

>>65905569
She rubbed them out

>>65905550
I spy with my little eye some absolute whoppers on the right

>>65905550
2 is a man

honestly prefer small breasts

>>65905551
pot kettle

>>65905550
>all have brown eyes

wtf part of the UK is this?

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>>65905626

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>>65905599

honestly prefer any breasts

>>65905648
0161 manny on the map

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>ywn

>>65905648
birmingham

>>65905657
>fake

keep em

>>65905550
Is any of these an actual brit? I mean they all look kinda swarthy.

>I paid 7 quid for this shit

>seven (7) pounds

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class when gazza gets the belvedere in!

>>65905677
>>65905677
Saved

>>65905669
>>65905679
Revolting

>>65905677
good lord

>>65905699
for what??

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>>65905669
I DON'T WANNA HEAR NO TALK ABOUT MANNY ON THE MAP MANNY ON WHAT? MANNY ON MUTE

>>65905692
It's Birmingham so they're all Asians

>>65905711
was from a post I barely read

coffee was good, going to have another

>>65905722
ok sorry

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>>65905565
>After that, he does the sides right I suppose, not like there was much to do, just lift the hair and run the machine over it
>The bullshit was the back, he left it mostly untouched, just cleaned up the bottom part, the very bottom part

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>Germany, UK and USA will all have female leaders by December

We are absolutely fucked, Maggie was bad enough, now there's three of them.

>>65905349
2, 1

>pay $15 a month for netflix
>constantly removing decent shit
>added 21 things this month
>all netflix original shit
>now trending: shaolin soccer

get utterly fucked you cretinous melts

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Bit of OC lads

>>65905747
>hereditary female leader is good
>elected female leader is bad

explain how

>>65905747
Would love Hilary to order a drone strike on my bollocks

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>>65905744
This is pretty much what I'm after, I can have it if someone just makes it a bit neater

having a tug

having a pull

having a stroke

having a wank

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_XEBdPLRC8

actually found this quite amusing

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>>65905716
state of that

just had a really satisfying poo lads. not even kidding. it was real solid with no mess, anal tearing or splash-back or anything. only had to wipe once too

feeling good about it

>>65905792
fuck videos like this that momentarily make me think my headphones are broken

>>65905771
netflix ended the golden age of television (the wire, mad men, breaking bad, lost, sopranos etc) and supplanted it with data gathered contrived trend riding formulaic sjw propaganda

>>65905701
absolutely fuck these cunts

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>>65905787
>This is pretty much what I'm after

the absolute STATE of that chop

also

>going to a barber for a cut like that

fucking mug

"It is sedition to dispute what a king may do."
-Me

>>65905792
One minute in and liking it lad

>>65905787
why do you want a girl's haircut lad?

>>65905716
That's not the UK, the bus is on the wrong side of the road.

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>the golden age of television
>the wire, mad men, breaking bad, lost, sopranos etc

>>65905735
don't let it happen again

>>65905847
>what is a one way street

Well lads, made the proto-gf my actual gf

/gf2016/ accomplished

>>65905701
i've stolen so much belvedere and gray goose, like so much man, and i still really hate these cunts

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>>65905865
Fuck, you're right.

>>65905792
Finished watching, I also founding it amusing lad

>>65905867
you have to maintain it

Havnae slept

>>65905809
it's the simple things in life

>>65905834
I'm trans

>>65905827
What's wrong with a pixie? It's what you get before growing it out further into a bob

Went to a barbers because I'm not confident enough to go to a salon yet

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>like so much man

imagine talking like this

>>65905824
the only netflix original i actually enjoyed was stranger things and like 1 documentary. the rest is utter dog shit.

>tfw dicklet
>girl yesterday was saying i'm the girthiest she's been with

bizarro, she was tight af. Pretty sure I'd fail the toilet-roll test.

well lads
here we are

Heil Hitler!

me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YE1eRktpT90

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Looking forward to seeing the Hill Dog destroy the Don Runt tonight

What a stonking day

been out for a walk around a few parks lads, was VERY nice. literally perfect weather imho.

>chilly
>clear sky
>sun shining

>>65905938
the toilet roll test only works with Yank bog roll because the tubes are smaller mate

>>65905933
They place more emphasis on satisfying audience expectations than fulfilling writer's inspiration.

All the best written shows are off netflix.

some deplorable stole my back number plate at some point last night

like, why?

>>65905984
yeh i know. wish i wasnt so hungover.

>>65905991
couldn't get mine through a British toilet roll tube desu

got a pretty phat one though

>>65905970
This specimen needs to put himself in a bin and remain there indefinitely.

what is a douche and why are yanks obsessed with them

>>65906033
same hahaha could barely get the tip in :s

>>65906048
You
Just because

>>65906031
I was lad, hungover and a cokey blocked nose. But the fresh air and double espresso flushed it all away.

well, i still feel quite shit but ya know hahahaa

>>65906012
dont know sorry

just watched the Trump recording

literally wasn't even that bad

>scratched my arse
>takes a sniff

ah yes

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NEED Yank gf

garlic bread

>>65906033
prove it

>>65906035
you're aware it's a joke yeah you fucking spanner?

>>65905747
maggie saved britain

hillary will do the same for the US

>>65906075
was pretty bad tbf

>>65906089
yes...

this Luke Cage show has a few laughs

>Plan to force firms to reveal foreign staff numbers abandoned

ah yess Hard Brexit being slowly undone by moaning lefties

>>65906093
>that top lip

very lovely

>>65906078
howd it smell

The Saudi Arabia-led coalition fighting Yemeni rebels has said it will launch an investigation after more than 140 people were killed in air strikes on a funeral in the capital, Sanaa.

wish I had the funds to get a fee of these

>>65906093
Cor

>>65906075
it's not that bad for a lad down the pub, world leaders are held to different standards though

>>65906151

>mudslimes killing mudslimes

oh yeh something i deeply care about lol

>>65906141
it's a pretty shit idea tbf

>>65906141
that's literally something hitler did

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>>65906146

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>>65906158

heading down to a lovely Sam Smiths pub by the river lads wahheyyyy

Terrified of death lads

>>65906119
it was just some year 8-tier, private banter with a pal

he acted respectfully, if not a bit autistic, when he met the woman

>>65906193
pint of taddy for me

excited about death lads

>>65906187
would happily make a questionable tackle on her

at least a yellow

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me and the husbando

>>65906187
phwwwaaaaaooooaaooooaoaaoooar

>>65906222
yesss my laaaad

>>65906190
what would you do with them if you had them lad?

>>65906193
doxed

>>65906187
would fuqq but clearly a basic bitch.

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Made me think, this

>>65906280
hold them and look at them probably

Lads is it feasible to go from 22k to a 30-35k a year job ?

It's literally doing the exact same thing but just somewhere else.

I have about a year's post uni experience but not sure if they'll reject me because the salary jump is too big.

It's literally no different to what I do now though, as in if I copied the job description it'd stay the same.

>>65906187
*uses the hubble telescope to try and find her arse*

*grabs you right in the pussy*

>>65906225
i actually am.

not because im depressed and want to die. im just fascinated about what happens after death. im fairly certain nothing happens and you just cease to exist in any capacity but still, will be interesting to find out for sure.