/brit/

You can FUCK right OFF, sunshine.

>>65765595
>Yeah but we pay only something like 30p a day
ummm no sweetie

EU, more like PEE YEW!

Fuck this shit country. All Brits should die. Racist scum.

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>>65765439

Bash
the
Bosche
LADS

Literally all television and film is fucking shit, prove me wrong you can't

digeridoo my kangaroo !

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just got off the phone with liz and she confirmed the british empire is being reformed and will be consisting of britain, ireland, australia, new zealand, canada, hong kong & singapore

>>65765709
watch westworld

>>65765709
Top Gear used to be pretty good 2bh

>>65765717
>German """""""humour""""""""

>>65765731
why didn't we just make concessions to keep the yanks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JihEdqBP7kQ

>mbv in the background
Holy shit. How is he so on point with his satire? The guys a comedy genius

grab somebody sexy tell em HEY

>>65765709
t. uncultured plebeian

How long do you have to live in Scotland before you can go to uni for free?
Might be cheeky and do this.

oh wherever he has gone, i have gone
but fresh lilac moorland fields
cannot hide the stolid stench of death

>>65765812
not limit
just apply, get an offer and accept it.

Tim has been silent for three days lads
bit worried

>>65765627
i lived in austin for a bit

>>65765741
dont want to start in the middle tho...

>>65765812
Sassenachs aren't allowed to go to uni for free, sorry mate. EU citizens are allowed though :)

That's Scotland for you.

>>65765812
fuck off you spotty teenage twat

>>65765812
think it's 7 years x

Doing a year abroad at uni of Texas at Austin (will be 21 when I go so can drink there)

keep missing the new threads

severely allergic to some lavender scented soaps and detergents 2bh

feel like its a pretty runty thing to be allergic to

>>65765848
moved into his new flat and doesn't have internet yet xx

>>65765796
nb advice tbqh

>>65765854
it's only on the first episode

My fellow Brits. We have the blood of billions of innocents on our hands. For centuries we had decimated thousands upon thousands of exotic and beautiful cultures from the face of this blue Earth. For centuries we plundered, killed, raped and waged wars worldwide for no reason at all.

As a result of these, I ask for all of you to join me in my global day of British apology to the world.

Today we apologize for cringey british humor

>>65765848
he won't have internet for 2 weeks while he moves house

truth? i guess it's a subjective term

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>women

>>65765848
he has no internet

>>65765904
exactlyyy

>>65765812
when applying you have to smoke 1 heroin bong before they let you in to verify

>>65765884
What you uni you at and what course you doing?

>>65765938
you're objectively right

>>65765908
this post is fucking cringe af

watching Luke Cage

>>65765940
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-37562400
>Women should regard wolf-whistling as a compliment, Joanna Lumley has said.

>In an interview with the Daily Mirror, she said wolf-whistlers were saying: "Cor, you look all right darlin'." Ms Lumley added: "What's wrong with that?"

>The 70-year-old - an actor, presenter, campaigner, and former model - claimed people had become "sensitive flowers" who were "very offended by everything".

Based JoLum

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>tights season is back

*kicks the clutch and whips the back end out to smack you on the sidewalk*
*throws the deuces up out the window*

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average british family

>>65765965
shld make him apologise

>>65765709

well it is designed to keep the peon masses distracted and calcify them so they can be trained as robotic consumer-worker drones

>>65765916
>>65765848
>>65765897
Im very much looking forward to this upcoming saga. Wander what his new delusions will be.

might give mafia 3 a cheeky buy on the ol personalle ordinateur

>>65765908
>humor
>apologize
>cringey

Alri Yank?

>>65765794
Can you fucking answer me you useless fucking shite

Are his low quality videos done on purpose? Is he in the ultimate stage of irony?

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rate the beard lads

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>>65765940
Can't go wrong with Grauniadposting 2bh

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mfw there's even less chance english students getting free scottish tuition now we're leaving the eu

>>65765988
What's wrong with it?

>>65765988
prime runts

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Did a think to this

>>65766007
thats not a beard bud

>>65765985
what's with all this tights hate?!

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>>65766012
Oh are we doing this again

>>65765884
i lived in austin for a bit.

>>65765988
Love how the lad on the right put his footy boots on for the picture haha cute desu

>>65765981
shes old enough to still have remnants of that british national character that has been eroded

>>65766007
dear me

>>65765952
Doxxable info la, I can tell you it's engineering though

>>65765794
he's a genius
https://youtu.be/btFTqZEmNq4

>>65766007
haha I have that bald patch line thing too

Might go to uni in Sweden lads

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>>65766049

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>>65766085

Best mate's gf is taller than him, doesn't like him driving his own car and makes him keep his gps on his phone so she can check his whereabouts

Staying silent about the whole affair desu, reckon she's cheating though

Really want to live to 2100

i've found god again lads

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Grandad's been a naughty boy

http://metro.co.uk/2016/10/05/man-caught-on-cctv-sneaking-into-womans-house-and-ejaculating-in-her-orange-juice-6172409/

>>65766101
>people should not be allowed to change their opinion

good source of Guardian being Guardian

https://twitter.com/SoMuchGuardian

>>65766101
whats wrong with that?

>>65766076
Fair enough, enjoy yourself and slay yank slags

test

>>65766122
... you might :o

>>65766129
get in there laaad
surprised he can even pull it off at that age

>>65766004
the sound quality is shit on purpose too
think he has something that distorts the audio on his mic because it sounds ridiculous

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>>65766101
>>65766135
>>65766159

>>65766004
Yeah lol, he's a master of post-post-post ironic satire

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IyE78eyFRa8

>goes to an open mic night
>red pills everyone in the crowd with his humour

Would really like to mail Clinton a box of bedbugs

Imagine being the guy who was paid to work out that SIGNATURE is an anagram of TIGERANUS

>>65766231
Reported to the secret service

procrastinating HARD

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>I don't smoke

got called a radical centrist at mcdonalds lads

>>65766246

who would that be ?

>>65766291
at mcdonalds?

>Little sister was using my laptop
>Was watching clothes videos on YouTube
>Now my recommended videos are all of little girls showing clothes
Made an error desu lads.

>>65766292
Well he works for Channel 4, so I assume his name is Alvin

>>65765884
mate is currently doing this
he didn't shag for the first two years of uni at all

now he's drowning in yank fanny

good luck mate x

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thoughts on the men in this webm, lads?

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>sam hyde

>>65766303
post sister

got called a spanner in homebase lads

>>65766303
Police will think you're a nonce now

haven't got a (You) all thread

please don't give this a (You), would rather if you gave my next post a (You) to make me feel like i've earned it.

>>65766339
Nonce

>>65766366

>>65766303
not going to hold up in court

>>65766366

Proud of myself lads, just topped my blinker fluid off

Been driving for 3 years without any and none of the other mechanics warned me it was so low. He even told me I could use a 50/50 antifreeze mix again if the next store was out of blinker fluid.

>>65766366

>>65766326
Quite comfy to see the Germans dying in droves 2bqh

>>65766376
i thought she was 16

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>>65766366

Sorry mate, i'm on my break

>>65766326
died for absolutely nothing

>>65766422
No lad, I said little because she is actually little.

got called skinny in walmart

>>65766303
h-heh, yeah...

just bantered my sister

she said parents are going on holiday so the dog is going kennels
then i said where are you going, the kennels too? (implication of her being a dog)

LOL

>>65766366
>>65766382
>>65766389
>>65766403
same person

got called a dribbly in waterstones

>>65766439
>>65766439
>>65766439

new

can you stop killing the mandem please

Tricking clueless yanks into loudly proclaiming Irish Republican slogans on their trips to Ireland, kek.

is banksy sam hyde

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>tfw you will never be black

>>65766452
little can mean younger in that context

this is entrapment

>>65766445
>wanting the vile hun to rule Europe

Thought that was something you chaps were against.

*guns down the mandem*

by age 20 my grandfather had:

>entered the coal mines at age 14
>joined the army in 1915
>been shot on the somme in 1916
>spent 4 months in a military hospital
>served in the labour corps for the rest of the war
>re entered the coal mines as soon as he was demobilised in 1918

were men just manlier in the past?

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>>65766333

>>65766457
did u get a slap?

>>65766510
Tell it to the court.

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>>65766492
banterous!

>>65766525
nah it was over text
she replied with lots of the crying laughing emojis

>>65766522
No, it was just easier to do all of those things.

My eyes have seen the glory of the tramplin' at the zoo

if there is more than 4 years between you and next sibling then your parents are degenerate

>>65766522
You could be a hero like him if you wanted

>>65766522
>were men just manlier in the past?
good goy. gobble up this narrative. work harder and line my pockets

>>65766522
no but maggie thatcher shut down the mines blame her

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>mfw translating sentences like "I love Britain" and "I want British boyfriend" into Japanese and Korean and googling the results

Would you fuck Poleaboo's brown boipucci for a crate of ale?

>>65765884
Did you apply for a course with a year study abroad on UCAS or did you get in whilst you were actually in uni?

>>65766522
Less opportunities back then

You can go from school to a cushy office (albeit working in a call centre) with a good cv and some good luck, or you can go study accounting, law etc fairly easily whereas they used to be careers only for the upper classes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A37v_s8KZ3g

>Stealing My Bike Back


Hilarious

>>65766593
should be banned for posting gore

>>65766568
Pretty sure my parents only had my brother because they thought I'd get lonely growing up alone
hah jokes on them it still happened

Feel like becoming an international man just to spite Theresa May tbqh.

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>>65766614
>wallpaper
Imagine being this much of a runt

>>65766593
yes

what happened to maisiebro

bela lugosi's dead

Can't wait for Friday lads, ever since I turned 18 i've been getting fucked up alone in my room all weekend.

Bottle of glens vodka weed? Ohh yes
My mate ordered some bottles of cough syrup that contain codeine and promethlymine(?) off the internet, hopefully they'll get here before Friday. Gonna be good.

Currently listening to Tennessee by Hans Zimmer and mulling over my life

>>65766716
pretty degenerate this

>>65766716
shut up you cringeworthy child

>>65766716
wow dude alco hol ?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Might send this to the gf with a winky face emoji
thoughts?

>tfw I fell for the uni meme

gonna do a wank

bye

>>65766716
alri billy?

>>65766769
worth a shot

>>65766716
Why don't you go out with friends

t.18 year old who isn't a degenerate

>>65766741
>he's a fully grown man on a chinese cartoon website at 11pm on a Wednesday night
Get a hold of yourself

>>65766759
>>65766739
Why can't you lads just be happy for me for once?

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we should have exactly this Code but applying to white people

Yeah, alright, I might feel completely lost without the so called gf, I might right now feel utterly broken now she's gone, but I bloody well hope I've got many, many years left in me and I'm going to do everything I can to make them count lads

feeling very hopeful fellas haha

>>65766781
What course are you doing?

>>65766814
Rather listen to my music, HATE nightclubs and can't smoke weed in pubs

>>65766839
haha bent

Moving to Dublin in 2017 lads

chatting to a shift manager from the local spoons on tinder

hoping for free drinks desu

>>65766833
black americans kill each other in the thousands every year

>>65766859
dude weed lmao

>>65766819
>wahh why are people older than me allowed to point out how much of a child i am

fuck off

>>65765609
Do it again Harris!

Actually think catfish and bottle men are pretty good lads

>>65766875
fuck off paddy cunt

>>65766833
we dont need to be told that we shouldnt act like apes to each other

>>65766849
computer science

>>65766814
being a drunken idiot is degenerate no matter how you spin it
fuck off you little shit

>>65765731
No America?

>>65766905
I am fucking off

>>65766716
would love to throttle tiny little runts like you

>>65766937
well...good!

theresa outing herself as a rorke

>>65765731
>Ireland
Good luck to her.

>>65766924
Shut the fuck up nonce

>>65766833
Numbers 1 through 3 are all pretty good
4 is a bit socialist imo
5, ummm, could it be any more sexist? women do NOT need the protection of men
6, education is always good imo, depending on the teacher
7, this one is good too, violence without cause is never a good thing
8 through 11 could be consolidated into "build each other up"
12, starting businesses is good for the economy, but not a fan of that "servicing the need of our people first" business. Sounds a bit racist desu

some old spent matches inside the candle jar lit up and the jar split apart within seconds spilling shards of glass down the radiator, made a load of noise

>>65766924
Ah yes because socially drinking is a crime

>>65766913
Says the Irishman

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>>65765731

Reminder that it IS Christmas soon

Cannot wait to go out in the evening and hearing the frosty, leafy pavement below me crunch whilst I walk to the pub and listen to Christmas songs on the background.

Just measured myself and I'm actually closer to 5'7.2'' now

How is /blackgf2016/ going lads?

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creasing

>>65767016
Hope you slip on ice and break your leg you fucking cunt

>>65767016
boy I can't wait for the seasonal affective disorder to kick in

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>>65767016
comfy feel

Rewarded myself for a week off benzos with 2mg xanax

>>65767016
bit islamophobic

>>65767016
YOU SCUMBAG YOU MAGGOT YOU CHEAP LOUSY FAGGOT
MERRY CHRISTMAS YOUR ARSE I PRAY GOD IT'S OUR LAST

>>65767047
Hope your parents forget to contact you again you little shut in runt

Die from prostate cancer

>>65767030
Terrible. She's white.
What am I like hahaha

>>65767003
we're probably have one of the lowest levels of crime rates in the world
definitely less than the UK

Listening to Taylor Swift.

>>65766833
#2 isn't upheld very well

what is this like a round piece of bread

>>65765731
>It's an autist acts like anyone apart from us still cares about the empire episode

My faves.

>>65767079
chuckled

genuinely can't believe it's Christmas next week

>>65767078
No u

lads I'm gonna need a coat
link me something I can buy

>>65767102
cob

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genuinely afraid of a major conflict with russia, lads

obama seems to be screaming for war

>>65767074

>FAGGOT

FOY

>>65767104
To be fair lots of people love it albeit secretly

genuinely can't believe it's potato famine next week

Can't wait for my extra hour in bed on Sunday :)

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Me and the lads socially drinking

>>65767084
Looked it up and it isn't true.

Also
>we're probably have

>>65767139
autistic twat lmao

>>65767128
>wearing a coat
aaaaawwww poor little babby
is the wind too cold for your sensitive little skin?
are you catching a wee little chill?

Im a fucking master of turning off light switches without making them click

I can do it with my eyes closed and ev

might have another wank in addition to the wank i had earlier

hasn't snowed here since like 2008

>>65767128
Get yourself a nice wool overcoat my lad

Proper naughty little number will get your loads of girls

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>>65765609
rude desu

delete this or I will bully the smug out of this karen

you're all a bunch of faggots

christmas is actually pretty evil lads. it must cause lots of social problems for poorer families when they can't afford proper presents and stuff and so either feel like a shit parent or have credit cards

wow thats actually really sad

i hate christmas now!

>>65767132
mong

been diagnosed as a normie

on pills now for it

they call me nightmaster

>>65767177
Are you underage?

Haven't showered since like 2008

>>65767163
Most things are walking distance in UK

t. 18

>>65767204
ad hom; not an argument

>>65767223
smelly faggot

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need to lose weights lads

just dont have the willpower to eat less- shit is too tempting

i blame the brits, after all it's in my genes thanks to the famine to eat all the food around me to store food in case of a famine, thanks brits

>>65767190
Flattening Dresden was the best thing we ever did. Flattening Germany would make Europe safe for a LONG TIME. Germanic blood is tainted, there's no other explanation for them trying to destroy Europe 3 times in 100 years.

>>65767200
another year gone, nothing achieved

get closer to topping myself every time it rolls around

>>65767221
No, I just don't wear coats like some kind of FUCKING RUNT

Not going to lie lads. I have an absolute addiction to buying jackets for winter. Buy at least 3 jackets a year for winter

>>65767200
If you're that much of a fiscally irresponsible chav mongoloid that you'd get up to your eyeballs in debt so Kayden and Tanisha can have the latest air max and a ps4 you don't deserve any sympathy

>>65767249
potato faggot

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>>65767255
you heard me

>>65767200
Ive always hated Christmas
My family is poor as fuck, but my mum would always buy me everything for Christmas. Felt guilty as fuck opening presents because I was a shitty kid and didn't deserve them. God my childhood was fucking depressing.

>>65767167
our homicide rate is almost the exact same as Wales and England but if you include NI I think you have more

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why didn't the irish plant different crops? like wheat or whey? or other vegetables like tomatoes or carrots?

the german is flattened, this is why he is posting 2d anime girl images haha

Help.

Today I had the weirdest dream.

First of all, I'm completely straight. Only fapped to straight porn and some hentai, never been into this trap thing, etc.

So... The dream started out and I and a very handsome man that I don't know from real life were in gay love, and I wanted to suck his dick. What followed was that we paid a surgery for myself and I turned into a little cute anime girl, and I started seeing myself as his "toy" slave and did everything possible to nurture this man, from sex to nurturing him as a good housewife, and we were very happy together. It was so weird when I woke up.

What the fuck it means?

i haven't done nearly as much as i wanted to this year.

fuck sake.

>>65767311
>wheat

Why are you posting about British tax payments?

>>65767298
>including NI

Bit mean paddy

business idea: we stop replying to yanks and they stop posting here

>>65767311
they did but the irish weren't allowed to eat most of them

>>65767231
your post isnt an argument
you just made an out of touch, ignorant claim with 0 evidence

qt just sent me a selfie for no particular reason. Told her she was making a stupid face and now she's all hurt and offended.

How the fuck is that my fault, you cunt?

>>65767267
you're trying too hard, think you are genuinely underage

Snogged my mum in a dream when I was about 8 and I've felt weird about it ever since

absolutely love theresa may

>>65767255
If the germans didn't continuously start shit europe would be fine.

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>>65767296

>>65767339
i can tell you haven't been paying attention to syria at all lately

>>65767298
Northern Ireland has the lowest homicide rate in these islands deus. 0.9. Everyone else is 1 and above.

Why didn't the paddies just fish or plant other crops?

>>65767351
Think all you want.
You'll still be wrong.

>>65767280
of course they do

stupid people can't help being stupid

>>65767330
*invests*

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>tfw they find you

About to partake in a viewing of "A Day With Mia Malkova" lads

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>>65767353
Did a line of coke with my mum and snogged her and squeezed her butt when i was 16 that was pretty fun

>>65767311
most of the crops were taken by the landlords as tax
food exports increased during the famine

>>65767378
>proxy war will lead to open conflict
no

Reminder that the Earth is literally flat and there's NO WAY you can disprove it

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LIVERPOOL

Managed to lucid dream last night, wasn't even trying

Just remember being in a dream and then I did something silly and was like oh shit I must be dreaming and then I like teleported into my actual bed where I thought I was just waking up normally but I actually wasn't and then I could control what was happening so I did a sex with some random bird lol

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>>65767361

>>65767349
autism

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on the bus

>>65767431
This, also

>obama

He's gone in a matter of months no matter what.

>>65767353
Something very similar happened to me when I was 7, except it wasn't a dream

Not even joking, wish I was though h-ha ha

>>65767407
dream life

>>65767442
Fucking proddies

>>65767361
she said some good things in the past few days, hope she sticks to them desu

>>65767434
I unironically love flat earth believers because there's a few things almost all of them believe but then each of them seem to have at least one thing that makes their flat earth model unique

>>65767431
ok so you have no idea then
i'm not going to bother arguing with someone who can't be bothered to do a little research

Theresa May? Yeah, I'm a big fan.

There was an Essextard on /brit/pol who'd never been further than London.

Pathetic.

>>65767361
dislike how she thinks Assad is the bad guy in Syria but otherwise she's alri

Shall be taking the dog out soon

and I won't be picking up his shit again.

Haha runts

>>65767495
nobody cares haha

*goes to the North*
nah not a fan

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>>65767449
Cute!

>>65767487
Good. Youre a fucking idiot if you want me to prove YOUR claim. Learn about burden of proof before you bother to have an opinion on anything.

>>65767534
alri paki

Listening to An Ending by Brian Eno lads, realising that whilst it might be over with her, life does go on

Wouldn't mind a cuddle if anybody is offering x

>>65767518
he is
but so are the rebels

there is no good guy

>>65767449

Literally a Hyacinth Bucket parochial Daily Mail reading 'what will the neighbours say" Conservative. The worst kind desu.

Never been north of Newcastle lads
Don't feel like I'm missing out on much though desu

>>65767535
>high waisted trousers

Cute AND fashionable

Applied for a Sous chef job

Thought It was Soup chef so at the interview I brought a tin of heinz tomato soup and made that for them.

didn't get the job

>>65767544
alri rorke

>>65767560
>outing yourself as a pakker

disgusting lack of taste

>>65767559
was this post funny in your head

new
>>65767575
>>65767575
>>65767575

>>65767549
i don't see syria surviving as a nation unless the assad regime wins

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>>65767543
you've already made up your mind

proving you wrong would just humiliate you even further x)

>>65766129
>orange juice with bits
You guys call pulp "bits"?

hate christmas because i feel extra alone

>>65767589
CUSTODIAN

>>65766833
hahahahaha call me when that happens

>>65767594
that's true, but it doesn't mean he's a good guy

>>65766833
This is what the black panthers adhered to before they were smashed by the FBI and the CIA flooded their communities with crack