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Poland

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Thread replies: 73
Thread images: 13

>How do you sink a polish battleship?
>Put it in water.

>Why did the polack put ice in his condom?
>To keep the swelling down.

>What happened to the Polish hockey team? >They all drowned in spring training.

>Why don't polish women use vibrators?
>It chips their teeth.

>Why did the Polak cross the road?
>He couldn't get his dick out of the chicken.

>Why are there no Polish doctors?
>Because you can't write prescriptions with spray paint.

>Whats the difference between a smart Polak and a unicorn?
>Nothing, they're both fictional characters

>Did you hear about the winner of the Polish beauty contest?
>Me neither.

>Why wasn't Christ born in Poland?
>Because they couldn't find three wisemen and a virgin.

>How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast?
>They marched in backwards and the Polish thought they were leaving.

>How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding?
>He's the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt.

>How do you stop a Polish army on horseback?
>Turn off the carousel.

>What does a polish girl do after she sucks cock?
>Spits out the feathers.

>How do you know if your in front of a Polish firing squad?
>They are standing in a circle.

>What do you do if a Polak throws a pin at you?
>Run like hell - he's still got a hand-grenade between his teeth.

>What do you do if a Polak throws a hand-grenade at you?
>Take the pin out and throw it back.
>>
>>39867783
that's not nice tbh
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>>39867783
I heard that polack jokes were spread around USA by germans and jews, is it true ?
>>
>>39867920
yes
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>>39867783
Nice thanks, i was looking forward to see some of polish jokes
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>>39867783
Hello Ivan, I see that you are trying to manipulate again.
http://www.reuters.com/article/2015/04/03/us-russia-usa-ministry-idUSKBN0MU0OT20150403

Moscow condemns 'anti-Russian campaign' in U.S.

"Russia expressed outrage on Friday over a "frenzied anti-Russian campaign" by U.S. media and political analysts, stepping up a war of words that has intensified during the Ukraine crisis.(...)"

Poland can't be your scapegoat. ;^)
>>
>>39867920
They spread with the Polish.
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>>39867980
well nothing new then
>>
Have you guys heard of the most famous Polish kamikaze pilot? He flew 43 successful missions!
>>
>>39867783
poor country
>>
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Not bad, although I heard most of it already.
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>>39867783

>What do you do if a Polak throws a hand-grenade at you?
>Take the pin out and throw it back.

ze germans actually did this

http://sploid.gizmodo.com/secret-message-found-inside-ww2-bullet-is-the-end-of-a-1682902455
>>
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>>39867783
>How do you know if your in front of a Polish firing squad?
>They are standing in a circle.

Lost.
>>
>>39867920
no Russian immigrants spread them around

>source: my parents and family are from russia and tell these all the time and my father was liberator
>>
>>39867783
I heard a joke from a polack once

little red riding hood is walking through the woods, when she sees the big bad wolf. she says "my, what big eyes you have", the wolf replies "fuck off, can't you see i'm pooping".
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>>39868767
i always heard it was jews, but i imagine a good chunk of the early russian immigrants were jews
>>
>>39868767
it was because of this
>>39868833
>early russian immigrants were jews
and russians are naturally butthurt, though they don't like the truth
>>
>>39868824
that joke sounds like some autistic person made it
>>
>>39868944
So your average Polack
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>>39869017
>your
>not you're
you're a Canadian polack
>>
>>39868570
>2 pin grenade
they always knew how not to make stuff work well
>>
>Who wears a forest ranger's hat and carries a can of kerosene?
>Stanislaus the Fire Prevention Bear of the Polish National Forest Service.

>How did the Polish mother teach her son which way to put his underwear on?
>Yellow in the front, Brown in the back!

>How do you know you're flying over Poland?>Toilet paper hanging on the clotheslines.

>Why do Polish names end in "ski"?
>Because they can't spell tobbagan.

>Did you hear about the Polak who married an Amish woman?
>He drove her buggy.

>Did you see the polish submarine with a screen door?
>Dont laugh, it keeps the fish out.

>Do you know why the new football stadium they built in Warsaw could not be used?
>No matter where you sat you were behind a Pole.

>Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? >The pilot got cold, so he turned off the fan

>Did you know that Russia just bought 12,000 Septic Tanks?
>As soon as they learn how to drive 'em, they are going to invade Poland.

>What's the motto of the Poland?
>Every man for himself.

>How do you get a Polak out of the bath tub? >Throw in a bar of soap.

>Why are there no ice cubes in Poland?
>They forgot the recipe.

>What happens when a Polak doesn't pay his garbage bill?
>They stop delivering.

>How do you ruin a Polish party?
>Flush the punch bowl.

>What is long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding night?
>A new last name.

>What happened to the Polish National Library? >Someone stole the book.

>Why did the Polish couple decide to have only 4 children?
>They'd read in the newspaper that one out of every five babies born in the world today is Hindu.

>What did the Polish mother say when her daughter announced that she was pregnant?
>"Are you sure it's yours?"
>>
>>39869017
>>39869125

you are both autistic
>>
>>39869375
we are all autistic
>>
Nice. I like this thread.
Are those joke like known everywhere, or just in places where poles emmigrated?
>>
I don't get them tbh
>>
B
>>
E
>>
A Polak, an American, and a German had a room full of dirty tampons, and they decided to have a contest to see who could stay in there the longest. First it was the American's turn. The other two locked him in the room and waited. A week later, they heard him whimpering and pounding on the door so they let him out. "That is the sickest smell I have ever endured!" cried the American. "I couldn't stay in there another minute!" Next it was the German's turn. After a month he finally banged on the door to be let out. "Oh God, that is the most putrid smell in the world! I couldn't take it another minute!" he cried as he gasped for breath. Finally it was the Polak's turn. They locked him in the room and waited. A week went by, a month, a year. The German and American heard nothing. Finally they began to worry, so they yelled through the door, "You can come out now! You've won the contest by far!" To which the Polak yelled back, "No, not yet! I'm not done eating the jelly donuts."
>>
N
>>
I
>>
N
>>
S
>>
P
>>
>>39869807
>>39869866

just GTFO
>>
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>>39869911
>>
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>>39869911
make me faggot
>>
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>>39869911
why aren't you a Lutheran yet you roman catholic heathen pole.
>>
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how does this make you feel polacks?
>>
>>39870106
what the eff
>>
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>>39870179
even better news they are jews
>>
>>39869240
>>What's the motto of the Poland?
>>Every man for himself.

Somehow not as funny when one ends up being a WoWtard.
>>
>>39869993
UR FAGGOT, NIGGER TOP KEK
IM A /B/TARD I KNOW MEMES
>>
>>39870213
oy vey
>>
>>39867920
Jews, through the media starting in the 60s. Why I have no idea. If it isn't polack jokes, any character with a Polish sounding name is something negative.
>>
>>39870053

Martin Luther confirmed for a proto-euphoric fedoratheist.
>>
>>39870106
>>
>>39870356

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_%22B.J.%22_Blazkowicz
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>>39870488
> His mother was Jewish and tried to hide it unsuccessfully.
>>
>>39870356

I wonder how it affects their own ethnic humour, to be honest.

Pre-WW2 Jews of Poland/Russia had one of the richest repository of self-depreciating jokes and anecdotes known to man - a cultural wealth in its own right.

But how much of it made it to the USA with all of this 'BAWWW Antisemitism!' activism?
>>
>>39867783
Poor Poland((((
>>
>>39870516
>Polish sounding name
>>
>>39870554
>3 vowels
>Polish sounding
>>
>>39867920
Yes
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>>39870554
The character is Jewish, then yeah, it tends to be portrayed positively. Purely Polish, negatively, almost without exception.
>>
>>39870650

any examples maybe?
>>
>>39870488

It is written that his identity is left entirely for players to decide, so there is little indication as to what the intent was.
>>
>>39870835
Just watching TV and movies, it a character is stupid, despicable, or just unpleasant, often he or she has a Polish surname.

An example? I'm playing gta right now, Trevor's idiot friend is named Ron Kowalski.

I watched office space not long ago, the fat useless guy was named Tom Smykowski. There are tons more, but it's not like I've compiled anything.
>>
>>39870999
I don't know why Jews have such a hate boner for the Polish tbh, but they're still at it.
>>
>>39870522
A lot of them are recycled jokes about the Irish, they're not really self-depreciating, just insert ethnicity you don't like jokes.
>>
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>>39870356
They mad jelly
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>>39871091
They know that they can't break the Poles. They've tried for centuries. It didn't work. They try with nigger and trans propaganda right now, it doesn't work.
>>
>>39870999

so i guess that both Jeffrey Lebowski and Walter Sobchak are also "negative characters"?

of course there is also Jeffrey Lebowski who is an actual negative character.

Still it is 2:1 for positive characters with Polish sounding names in only one film
>>
>>39871135

I mean more along the lines of:

"Two jews silently sit by the table with a cloud of gloomy mood about them. One breaks the silence with a sigh. The other rises above the table and yells: 'One more word about business and I'll bash your face in!'
>>
>>39871091

yeah, it's all about that "why didn't you save us all?!"
(some) silly, bias jewish fucks ignore all history facts like the whole war was about them.
>>
>>39871163
idk, it doesn't make any sense, you'd think they'd be more upset with the Germans, or pretty much anyone else.
>>39871262
I would say so, they're pretty stupid and trashy, pretty much the go-to way of portraying Poles in Hollywood.
>>
>>39871403

Sure, but are they negative characters?
Hell no, everyone loves them!
>>
Hi I'm Thailand and I'm dumb as fuck
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>>39871403

No idea if it might make it more clear, but I heard a 'theory' from an ex diaspora member according to which Jewish/american cinema takes heavily after imperial Russia - which would explain USA's 'love' for gargantuan patriotic productions.

As far as Imperial Russia is concerned, only one governor gave a shit about improving the polish province - which in turn meant that better interests could only be achieved through close cooperation with them at the expense of everyone else left in the sector.
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>>39871555
You'll blend in well here.
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>>39871555
>>
>>39870999

What about Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino. He plays a Polack and is the good guy.
>>
>>39872984
Clint Eastwood isn't Jewish.
Thread posts: 73
Thread images: 13


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