Critique muh shit.

Ya gotta read this shit left to right, sorry. I'm dumb.,

>>2994977
you calling your art shit is pretty much on point.

>>2994977
did she died?

Naw. This is the opening scene of a comic series I'm working on.

>>2994977
>Sorry if ya cant fap to it.
what the fuck

>>2994978
I still don't get it. Your page flow is beyond confusing. Do you arbitrarily sometimes decide to have it read down down instead of left to right? Like when that girl is shoving her and then runs away?

Also, the beating she gets is comically over the top, so if you wanted to actually convey a sad and serious bullying scene here, you need to tone it down a bit.

Noted. Thanks for being honest about muh shit. Will try to correct some of this.

>>2994977
she had a rough life :(

>>2994977
I can't take that chibi style seriously for a tragic story. To improve your storytelling, observe a lot of great authors

Thanks to everyone who took time to read my stuff. Its appreciated! You may return to fapping now.

It looks nice.
But the flow seems off.

>>2994977
Why that exagerate space between the panels? It looks like two pages and it's confusing.

>>2994977
I like your style; it reminds of of the Secret of Kells. The only weird-looking panel is the next-to-last frame, when she falls; something seems off about it.

File: correct order maybe.jpg (2MB, 1728x3554px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1728x3554px

Not OP but I think these are pages put in this order to save space

>>2996372
ohhhh ok, i get it now

>>2994977

What is the Ninja girl jumping on her out of nowhere trying to convey to the readers? (also, where is she coming from)

It isn't needed story-wise, it's very clear from the other panels that she's a kind of local pariah. Take out that entire page and you have the same story.

Also why are her pupils sometimes round, squares, rectangulars, and changing size from one panel to the other?

>>2994977
Paneling needs work. Cannot understand where is the start and finish.

File: 1495888947908.jpg (25KB, 323x454px) Image search: [Google]

25KB, 323x454px

jesus

>>2996372
Thanks anon. Now for a proper critique. Art aint too bad. Chibis being used to show brutality ain't nothing new. See abyss.

As it is, it works.