How do I enjoy drawing/art? I absolutely loathe every second

>>2956188
Consider that people who draw at older ages tend to make shitty work at first and making shitty work when your older really sucks, so its not unusual to feel that way. I hated drawing because i made garbage with my sausage hands whenever i put pencil to paper, i started to love it when i started to drawing with more proficiency.

Or perhaps its just not the thing for you, who knows man, i dont know you at all. Its definitely pointless to spend your life doing something you hate but for somethings you gotta deal with a lot of bullshit before you really enjoy it, No one enjoys musical instruments when they just pick them up and suck total balls, but you muscle through it to get to the fun part.

I think you're mentally blocked in thinking art is the only thing you will be able to make money with. Unless you're already really good it's a bad idea. I mean, pursuing art as a career is debatable anyway, but if you don't enjoy it - hell, even loathe it - forget it. You will never be able to put as much work or thought into it as people who truely love their craft. Being almost blind and bad with colors isn't making it easier either. You're delusional if you think it's art is the best thing you can persue. I wonder how you even started to draw if you absolutely hate it?

tl;dr look for another job, anon

>>2956194
>>2956195
I'm 32. I've been drawing since I popped out. It's been just one long string of bullshit where I'm the best drawer in my kindergarten class, so teachers throw a huge deal about it because "Ooooh look this precious child can draw a cat with four legs instead of six!" So they pressure me to do it more...and more...and more....and I even went to fucking art school.

I only ever did it because I was told to, and not getting into a huge tldr history, I'm a CSA/abuse survivor so my line of thinking has always been so fucked up.

I never liked it, and as I have to do it more in life to make a buck (since I can't actually work due to disabilities), I HAVE to if I wanna eat. I just hate it more as the years go by.

>>2956203
Well, if you cannot find another financial option I guess you have to cope with the fact that art is and will be your income for a certain period of time. The only thing you can do is trying to find joy in it. Trying to relax inbetween client work and draw what you actually like. Then you may be able to have the motivation to improve and be able to appreciate your client work more.

I guess you don't want to share your work? I'm really interested - I mean most people here would envy you for making their bucks with drawing.

>expressed their dismay that I don't show any reaction
Only way to deal with it, unless it's helpful critique. Even if you don't agree a short "thank you I will work on it" will make them happy. Happy customers tend to come back. More profit.
Bashing or shitposting is something you can and should completely ignore and not aknowledge in any way.

Last question: Would you feel better about your art if other felt better about it/ if you made others happy with it?

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>>2956218
>I mean most people here would envy you for making their bucks with drawing.
There's nothing for ic to be jealous of haha. The most I do is people's pets and I know I have all sorts of fucked up things wrong still with proportions and junk. I'm not even getting a lot for my stuff. Like I do this for $65 each, and they take a week. If I charge more, I don't get buyers. It's either that I do 3-4 of these a month and get some extra money or I get nothing at all. I have no choice.
>Trying to relax inbetween client work and draw what you actually like.
I'm not a furry, but I love animals. With the buttload of disabilities I have, I've always gotten way more comfort from animals than other people throughout my life, so I am drawing what I like, and still I can't stand it.
>Would you feel better about your art if other felt better about it/ if you made others happy with it?
Definitely. I used to take free requests to draw people's oc's all the freakin time, and my inbox would be flooded. I'd draw so many people free art because I loved seeing them get happy and make their day a bit better. I've just recently stopped it because people started to get selfish and rude.
And yeah...every time I'd draw to ask for commission/tip, I'd get crickets. The second I open up requests though, my inboxes would be filled in an hour.

That's just extra stuff to this whole shitcake that I also hate about the "art culture" world on how things are.

>>2956245
if you don't mind me asking why are you going blind? to me it's something that really scares me.

>>2956251
I'm not going blind, I've always had a visual impairment since I was 2 because I got encephalitis that really fucked my body up, part of that being to really mess with my vision. It's an odd disorder where I don't see things as they are in reality. I'll see objects a bit off than they actually art (so if you asked me to pick up something, I'd grab the air and my brain would get confused af because it would think I'm in the right spot to pick it up).
Lines and words also overlap one another, so this causes a lot of problems when I'm trying to draw. I have to have my computer read everything to me and such. (Everything is also blurry still, even with glasses--that's why I'm on the 'spectrum' of it.)

>>2956255
kudos to you anon I wouldn't have to balls to cope with life like that. And your work is nice anon.

>>2956245
>The second I open up requests though, my inboxes would be filled in an hour.
People are cheap

> I loved seeing them get happy and make their day a bit better
I feel the same about my art. /ic/ will deny it, but appreciation is really fulfilling

I think your art is promising and you could definitely improve to a level where you can charge more or work on your own projects. However, it requires you to put in the work to do so.
Also, do you really need a week for a piece like that? I mean, I don't know you and I don't know how your disabilities are hindering you, but it seems like something you should be able to do quicker at your level of experience. I think if you could shorten the time you need for those you'd be able to draw additional stuff of your own choice that gets you more followers, since it's more personal if you choose the subject. I'd advise to NOT do any requests, it attracts leeches who don't care about you and just want free art. It also makes your commissions more valuable. Give people a reason to buy from you.

The way I see it you're cornered, so the only way out of it is to move forward. If you truely see no other way than art, you should try to be successful.
The very first step to success is inspiration. Try to get inspired by something, this will motivate you to draw more and lets you find a goal to strive for, an ambition you can dedicate yourself to. If you've come this far the only thing left is discipline.

inspiration -> motivation -> ambition -> dedication -> discipline -> success

I think if you're successful you may still not like art, but at least you will feel like a winner and that's something.

In the end I can't help you and I can't imagine anyone on /ic/ will be able to give you a perfect solution for your problem. If you're unhappy it's up to you to change it. I wish you the best of luck, you seem like a good person.

>>2956258
lol I tried to off myself before because this shit got unbearable...but yeah, dealing with it now.

>>2956261
Thank you. What you said did actually give me something to think about and it helps. As of now, my inspiration and motivation is just...money, but I guess I need to find a more personal inspiration somehow, or a motivation that goes deeper than something physical.

As for the long time my art takes me, yeah, it's because I get so frustrated and rage quit. It's to the point where my doc even tells me I have to stop every half hour and look away from the paper/screen or else I get really bad eye/head-pain. It is a huge pain in the ass.

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I don't enjoy arting either but if i stop I'll have a psychotic episode.
For me its easy because I mostly do landscapes and still lifes

>>2956245
>65 dollars a week
Anon, just learn literally any skill. Fix bikes. Fix computers.
Literally anything.

Get a tub of water and tyre stickers and patch up kids' bike tyres.

And don't be a retard and just pick one thing, do everything, it's not a full time job and any retard can do these things.

>disabled
Unless you're paralyzed from the neck down, you shouldn't be unable to do stupid tasks for cash