My happiness level is directly link to my success in art and

>>2880315
>My happiness level is directly link to my success in art and it makes me sick...
Me in a nutshell.

>be drawing
>it's shit
>want to end my life
>if somehow produce something good
>want to live and git better
>have to repeat this cycle of doing bad and good
>not sure if want to live or not anymore

Sucks that I ain't like you OP, I've got nothing but this, this is my life line. If I fail this, guess that's it.

>>2880323
I had to decide if I want to study art or try something more save. I went the save route. A buddy of mine didn't and he now survives by pretending to be a girl on patreon an drawing porn. He just moved out and has zero social skills and all... no fancy car or anything like that. Yet I envy him... so fucking much. It's retarded.

Whys that make you sick? Do you wanna feel happy for waking up and scrubbing shit? Do you wanna smoke weed until you die?

>>2880315
congrats OP. sounds you have what it takes to make it

sounds like some rejection sensitive dysphoria shit

>get a sudden urge to draw and do what I've always wanted to do: create shit that other people enjoy
>read the sticky, go through some books and try really fucking hard for a couple weeks
>my drawings always are worse at the end than they were when I started out (and they were fucking abominable to begin with)
>repeat every six months
>the last time I did this I just drew a couple hundred boxes and basic shapes in perspective a night for a month straight
>still don't know how the fuck perspective or foreshortening work
>give up