Sooner or later, I realized that I was drawing in order to be

>>2868212
Good gif, OP. I hope to be able to convey such a mood one day.

On to your thing though.

I completely understand.

Happens a lot and usually out of the blue, it'll just hit me.

It's like I've completely forgotten what I've been drawing this whole time for.

And really, it takes me a while to get back on my feet.

I believe everyone probably recovers differently, but for me, it was really looking back through all my memories and just overall doing stuff I did in the past to jog my mind.

Even then I don't always remember, but the important thing is to search out for that missing piece of you.

If you constantly long for it, your subconscious will find it for you.

How it gets lost so often is a mystery to me, but the brain works automatically and sometimes solves the issue for you.

If it doesn't, constantly look, you'll find it, I'm sure.

>>2868212
Get a Prang outlining pencil. You're probably sick of drawing details with a mech pencil

>>2868212
I'm going to offer a different angle to your problem.

People like to win. And people don't like to lose. No matter your goals or philosophy, this is embedded in our brains.

And this applies to art. I have never believed in "drawing for drawing's sake". When you're early in your career winning is easy. Drawing feel really good. You put little effort and you see tons of improvement. Everyone pats you in the back and compliments you.

Even if you're drawing alone, you are still winning at this stage. At this time just a couple of hours of drawing can make you feel satisfied with yourself. It's ridiculously profitable.

But you gain some experience. You advance a couple of levels. And then you're no longer winning.

You realize how much better are others. There is no one around congratulating you or it doesn't feels good anymore. You have to put in exponentially more hours just to advance a little.

Even if you don't intentionally compare yourself to others, your brain does. You know you're losing in this equation. It's like in a videogame that reflects your place compared to others. Even if you give ZERO SHITS about how good or bad you're compared to others, it'll affect your brain.

If your post gets more likes and retweets you'll feel good even if that wasn't your original goal. If someone compares your work to someone better and calls you shit, you'll feel bad even if you didn't cared in the first place. Humans crave to know their social standing.

You said that you wanted to:
>Make something out of myself.
>Make money.
>Be able to compare myself to my peers.
Maybe they make money and fulfill their lives in a much easier and fun way? Maybe your peers are still way ahead of you? In terms of money, how much exactly did you wanted to make? Right after taxes and down to the cent. You have to be brutally honest and specific with your goals.

>>2868212
Creativity training/study the neuroscience of creativity, and read Courage to Create > http://libgen.io/book/index.php?md5=44BD16A3BA2B7658D6C9CEB06FECC845

>>2868379

Even if you still decide to draw for the sake of drawing, there must be a discriminating factor to tell you that you're moving upwards.

No one can live in a void away from success and accomplishments. We are not stoic robots merely fulfilling tasks, drifting in space.

You're the one who must be in control of the terms of success. If you don't have any, someone else will set them for you. This is extremely important to understand. You need to be extremely honest about what you want to get.

You have to decide and be very specific about what is important to you. What is good. Down to the decimals. Or else /ic/ will set the standard for you. Or your peers or your art teacher or the market.

Succeeding at what you set ought to do is crucial for self esteem and mental health. The meme of "play for fun only" is to keep people stuck in games rigged against them, so that the winners can remain on top.

Desire for success is not selfish or self absorbed. Feeling pride is not a crime. It only ends badly if you're playing by the goals set by someone else.

OP here
>>2868219
thanks for that, I'll definitely still be trying to find it, while trying to pick up drawing again.
>>2868379
I want to be able to make a living out of it, nothing too big but even just barely getting by is a ridiculously difficult level to get to. It just pains me when the pressures of life and choosing a career for the rest of my life are so close.
>>2868380
I'll definitelly check this out, thanks for this

Of course one should draw things for himself but when you already know that you have 0 chances of selling your work unless you are beyond godly is depressing.

Being OK or even good just doesn't cut it. I don't care about the game or movie industry, I want to make comics and I don't see myself fitting into the market. Most people who make comics do it as a side thing and would "never depend on it" as many told me.

The fact that with years and years of hard work you might become the top 0.1℅ and maybe make any money is simply retarded. There needs to be a little room for people who aren't the very best, or otherwise it's completely pointless to take a shot at a career.

>Post your work
>Ngmi

Slow clap

Get to Praag with your notebook and some pens.