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ITT: Weird Armour from History

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Thread replies: 53
Thread images: 14

File: so-much-why.jpg (2MB, 2784x4117px) Image search: [Google]
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Is this... is this real? This armour looks REALLY impractical.

>"Well hello, fine sirs!"
>chinkchinkchink
>"Quite a grand ol' day for a battle, eh?"
>CLANK!
>foot gets stuck in mud
>"Oh goodness, gracious me! Well, no worries. That always happens now and then."
>metallic, echoey BBBBBBRRRRRAAAAAAPPP
>"*cough*Oh sweet, Jesus! *coughcoughchokegag* So what's the plan, generals? *chokegaggasp*"

This thing is so overt and boisterous, it's probably being moved into the Oval Office as we speak.
>>
>>3369743
That armor would be worn by a prince of a king. You have to prove that you're worth your title to your allies and vassals. It's also not heavy, and engravings serve an actual tactical purpose of being easier to clean, use in battle, and raise morale. THeo nly problem is the thing on his head, which probably means this isn't a suit of armor at all but a ceremonial piece meant to commemmorate the actual suit of armor it was designed for.

I doubt you'll find any actual armor you can mock without sounding like an idiot who doesn't know what hes talking, no wonder you talk shit about presidents
>>
>>3369743
This is so obviously ceremonial that I'm not sure what your fucking point is. Also, you'd be surprised how quiet and practical much historical armor was, despite appearances. Yeah, you'd hear it, but it wouldn't sound like I-beams grating against each other in an 80s film.
>>
>>3369743
engravings offer to tactical advantage whatsoever
>>
File: 7352996608_531b5947fb_b.jpg (427KB, 1024x680px) Image search: [Google]
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It's probably parade armor, but there's nothing impractical about it besides the helmet. What do you think looks weird about it?
>>
>>3369767
Kek
>>
>>3369770
some niggers mad they arent wearing those cannibalistic leather-bone shields that were used to get other niggers to be eaten alive by animals
>>
Is this going to be another one of those "any piece of equipment that looks even the slightest bit ornate was obviously unsuitable for battlefield use and was purely ceremonial" threads?
>>
>>3369780
you ever wear engraved armor? or are you talking out your ass?
>>
>>3369790
do you think someone put that suit of armor on when it had a handle for people to kill him with? Or do you realize that its actually something resembling a sculpture to depict the tradition of a person and people who actually existed?
>>
>>3369743

>he thinks a suit of armour is a fully enclosed, airtight gundam

It's another "brainlets attempt to discuss armour based on what they saw in Dark Souls" episode
>>
File: 1501132739865.jpg (7KB, 232x259px) Image search: [Google]
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>>3369743
armor was cool and one in a million to wear within the incredible contexts and times. It will always be the precursor to any body armor or helmet design. You laugh now but these pieces will echo forever, as long as there are people like you who are forgotten, there will be those that laugh in the face of your arrogance knowing that what you mock, a masterpiece that commanded respect and exemplifies the mastery of human ingenuity, will live on long after you.
>>
>>3369815
Even in dark souls armor is not a fucking kettle pot. GoT is closer - every other Lannister is looking like unopenned can of beans.
>>
File: Frey_men_season_6.png (1MB, 1440x811px) Image search: [Google]
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>>3369821
>GoT is closer
fucking stop dude
>>
I literally don't understand what point you're trying to make. That's just what armor looks like.
>>
>>3369845
GoT is shit nigga
>>
>>3369851
oh okay I thought you were saying GoT armor was closer to reality
>>
>people expressing surprise that soldiers in the past actually wore armor
the absolute state of /his/
>>
>>3369802

After all, young, rich, famous people are well known for being cautious and safety conscious and never, ever take stupid risks or do deliberately dangerous things just to show off to their friends or for a thrill. Right?
>>
>>3369868
Show me the person who wore your suit of armor then you race-baiting faglord
>>
File: Cardinalfarnese.jpg (71KB, 800x1054px) Image search: [Google]
Cardinalfarnese.jpg
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>>3369902
It was this guy

It was ceremonial armor so he didn't actually have to go and fight in it
>>
>>3369861
I'd be surprised if even 5% of the posters here have ever actually done any significant reading in history. Welcome.

It's not even the trolls and shitposters, by the way. Almost no one here is even remotely familiar with the standard sources in any of the topics they start threads in.
>>
>>3369909

Different Farnese anon. It was this guy, Alexander Farnese, Duke of Parma.
>>
>>3369815
I wish Dark Souls had armour like OP's. It really fits the lore.
>>
>>3369819
>It will always be the precursor to any body armor or helmet design

I agree with everything else, but I think it's only a practical precursor, meaning technique, form etc all led to modern body armor. But cultural elements, significance, and detail of parade armor went away by WWI
>>
>>3369928

>stockings with bows on them

Presumably he larped as an animu princess when he wasn't larping as a knight
>>
>>3370024
This was considered the apex of masculinity back in the day.
>post yfw traps would be considered machos in the middle ages.
>>
>>3370024

>actually a knight
>larping as a knight

This fucking website I swear to God...
>>
>>3370125
they probably pretended to hunt monsters
>>
File: Vengarl.jpg (2MB, 4608x2592px) Image search: [Google]
Vengarl.jpg
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Speaking of Dark Souls, here's Vengarl.
>>
>>3369815
The whole purpose of armour was to close as many gaps as possible, though.
>>
>>3369743
what do you autists not understand about CEREMONIAL

there are a ton of swords and armor that were made for looks not use
>>
>>3371160

It is incorrect to think that every piece of ludicrously decorated armor is "ceremonial". You are thinking too much like a modern person.
>>
>>3369802
it would also mark him as someone extremely important who you would rather capture and ransom than kill
>>
>>3371160
>>3371188
That armor in particular is ceremonial but generally speaking purely ceremonial equipment is quite rare

Nobles didn't leave their nice looking armor at home and head to the battlefield in munition plate churned out in a Milanese factory. It'd be like buying a Gibson Les Paul Goldtop and then playing all your gigs with a $150 Epiphone
>>
File: Lion Armour.jpg (93KB, 900x1200px) Image search: [Google]
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>>3371210
>>3369743

Pic related was used in combat. Sword marks are visible on the helm.
>>
>>3369743
>What is ceremonial armor

It's meant to be an over the top display of oppulence and power to show the masses sand remind them why you're better than them as well as to act as a symbol.
>>
>>3371237
tell us more dr broscience
>>
>>3369743
what would the cost equivalent of this type of armor be in the present?

The craftsmanship alone must have cost a small fortune.
>>
quick someone post it
you know what i'm talking about
>>
>>3371237
Not all fancy armor is ceremonial dude
>>
File: 1476574075943.jpg (139KB, 1200x707px) Image search: [Google]
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>ywn look as pimpin as Richelieu
>>
Watch this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SF6uO8fsgP0
>>
>>3369780
Fuck you John. I hope my unit beats your ass and gives you to me alive so I can masturbate to your hot body.
>>
normie humor is really fucking cringeworthy and there is nothing weird or impractical about fucking plate armor
>>
>>3371275
It's probably similar to having a fancy private yet or a 30m fully equipped sailing catamaran including professional crew.
>>
>>3371275
One of those gazilion dollar suits. That elite was an elite of warriors so they spent a shitload of money on fancy armors. Today our elites are businessmen and other finances related people, so the dress of those men is the dress of the elite and they spent a shitload of money on those. The dress is less regal and blinky because different elites have different values.
>>
>>3371160

What do you brainlets not understand about CONSPICUOUS CONSUMPTION?
>>
>>3371275

Going from memory but the Earl Marshall ordered a new suit for what would be the Agincourt campaign. The suit itself cost about £40. Having it polished to a mirror finish cost another £40. This is when a common farm labourers annual earnings would be about £3.

A suit with decoration to this extent would be far in excess of that.
>>
>>3371140

Correct, but not to the extent that if you fart it'd gas you to death.
>>
File: farnese_garnitur.png (493KB, 1349x698px) Image search: [Google]
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>>3371237

Sometimes this armor is displayed with a jousting reinforce plate on the left pauldron which implies that it can be used for jousting at least. Those embossed decorations however would make it hard for a lance to slide off sideways.
>>
>>3372123

Depending on the specific rules, you specifically want the lance to catch and break when it hits you instead of deflecting off.
>>
>>3371308
>implying that isn't exactly what I wear to the club
Thread posts: 53
Thread images: 14


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