How much bullshit was Deadliest Warrior?

It was such total bs, like all American tv lol

Also God's not real xD

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>>3278732
>Comparing IRA and Spetsnaz sniper rifles accuracy
>Guy testing the SVD is former Spetsnaz who trains with weapons regularly
>Guy testing the G3 is the Irish grandson of Michael Collins with 0 weapons experience
>Michael Collin's grandson misses one shot against the fucking former Spetsnaz operator
>THE EDGE: SVD

>Nunchuck vs Baseball bat
>WELL THE NUNCHUCK REQUIRES SKILL TO USE, WHICH THE USERS HAD
>MEANWHILE THE BASEBALL BAT REQUIRES NO SKILL
>I MEAN THE NUNCHUCK CAN DISARM BUT THAT REQUIRES THE SKILL THAT THE PEOPLE USING THEM DEFINITELY HAD SO THE BASEBALL BAT WINS
>EDGE: BASEBALL BAT

Sources: S2E1 and S1E5

It's entertaining and all but fuck a lot of it is straight up bullshit

>NAZI SIDEARM: THE LUGER
>SHOWS MAUSER C96

>>3278732
They had george washington and joan of arc winning against napoleon and william the conquerer, what the fuck do you think?

>>3278816
To be fair, George Washington's saber mastery probably means more than Napoleon's superior generalship when you have a 4vs4 fight.

>>3278816
You tell me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7iVsdRbhnc

>>3278816
...As like a team?

>>3278732
My granddad always told me to be careful with what you show your brain and allow into your thoughts. This is one of those things you should not see.

>>3278826
Forgot it was only 4v4, I guess you're right on that front. Still, old guard would have shit all over burger rebels.
>>3278834
Nah, washington vs bonaparte, william vs joan

Meme-tier
https://youtu.be/QHSXZnxLZ0I

>>3278816
>>3278840
The only time Americans ever lost was Green Beret vs. Spetsnaz
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=207Ld0CBeMo
Teddy Roosevelt fucking beat Lawrence of Arabia after taking a round of .303

>>3278732
Conquest is way better

Episode about Roman weaponry/tactics:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtLa2mWGMbI

>>3278897
wow, just wow
I cant even

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>>3278732
They said Washington was better than Napoleon
Nuff said

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>>3278773
>GSG9 vs SWAT
>Testing non-lethal weapons
>Stinger grenades are gay because they didn't kill anyone
>TASER SHOCKWAVE FUCKING WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>>3278826
Good joke
Napoleon actually killed enemies (British soldiers) in hand-to-hand combat during the Siege of Toulon (and got wounded to the thigh with a bayonet)

I seriously doubt Washington the aristocrat immediatly ranked upon joining the army ever fought in close quarters (or fought himself at all for what matters)

>>3279021
washington was actually pretty brave he has a few stories of heroic leadership

>>3279070
Yeah, stuff like standing within reach of the enemy's fire maybe
But I doubt he ever killed anyone

>pirate takes flail to the face from charging mounted knight
>gets back up
>can run straight
Wut

I remember one thing from Vietcong and SS episode.
It may be a little detail but I laughed my ass off when that vc guerilla managed to shoot down a Huey helicopter by spraying from his submachine pistol all over the sky

>>3279093
I also remember it. The SS guys said something like "Those traps are not honourable. You would get killed for doing that in the SS."

>>3279093
>shooting down a helicopter with a machine pistol
Don't seem like a little detail to me, anon

>>3279096
Yeah but the SS team were the biggest fucking LARPers ever on the show
>One of the SS weapons is a fucking MP28
>Another is a C96

>>3279105
I'm sure they were pressed into service, considering the severe lack of equipment on the german side.

>>3279127
No I mean the "experts" they called in, they were LARPing like all fuck turning up in SS uniforms and everything

>>3279136
Don't all of the """""""""""""""""""""""""""""(((((experts))))"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" do that though?

>>3279143
Never to that degree, it'd be like if the Samurai team were in armour for the whole episode

>british documentary
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtLa2mWGMbI
>american documentary
https://youtu.be/QHSXZnxLZ0I

>>3279093
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x517ku7

Christ...

>>3278816
Joan would win against William as she has God on her side. But yeah, Washington winning against Napoopan was such horseshit.

>>3278897
ATATATATATATATATATATATATATA

>>3279207
m8 william won his war and got burned at the stake, if anybody had god on his side it was the bastard

>>3279224
*didnt get burned at the stake

>>3279225
I'm just shitting you. Joan wouldn't even physically kill another person

>>3279264
Is that true? Did she refrain from stabbing bongs?

>>3279271
She was in the thick of things (she was shot in the shoulder with a bolt from a crossbow) but she wasn't this Xena like warrior dicing up Englishmen left and right.

>>3278816
>thinking Napoleon had a chance
manlets when will they learn

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>>3279346
>manlets can't be good at wa-
100 kills for every foot of height

>>3279357
He must be 7 feet then

>>3279362
he's got 538 kills afaik

>>3279271
literally a glorified cheerleader that got hit with a bolt once while she was cheerleading in the back

>>3279402
please stop mansplaining me

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>>3279430
we're talking about war, its impossible not to mansplain something that only men can relate to and understand.

Even today bitches get all the easy safe jobs in the military.

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>>3279454

>>3279402
Yeah, but she had magic Anglo defeating powers. William would have seized up and died on the spot if it was 1V1, or his army would have been routed if arms were in play. Joanie doesn't lose

>>3279481
well memed, friend

>>3279490
It's true

>>3279493
nuh uh

>>3279481
William was French anon

>inb4 Normans aren't frogs

>>3279589
God would recognize the difference. Plus, Deadliest Warrior pits fighting forces against one another, and Charles VII's army had cannons, so that's already game over for Bastard Bill

>>3279608
Its 5v5 combat, there aren't enough dudes to man a fucking cannon

>>3279611
Still leaning Charles VII here, due to weapons technology and armor, even if Jehanne herself is a liability

>>3279611
In Deadliest Warrior one man is enough to man to a cannon, or a catapult
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=liFZN_zZzvY

>>3279751
This hurts my brain. Why does my country have such shitty television programs and documentaries? It's like the shows are literally designed to dumb down the population.

if it was 1v1 william would rape joan tbqh

>>3279786
It's SPIKE TV dude, what else are they going to put on?

>>3279792
more "thousand ways to die" episodes. I like getting high and watching them.

>>3279792
No, this is something that is typical of most American television, particularly documentaries nowadays. They are filled of flashing lights, strange flashing pictures that occur for one second or so during scene changes, dramatic and unfitting music, and outright idiots in charge of production.

>>3279611
At 5v5 it's basically anyone's game, though. At that point, tech and tactics don't matter, except maybe armor.

>>3279802
But it answered the greatest question faced by modern historians
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uas89HWrN_Y

>>3279811
what the fuck nigger

>>3279814
Ironically it's one of the more credible ones because the "experts" aren't just professional LARPers and have written books about the subject

>>3279811
This was so fucking stupid. Why wouldn't the vampires just turn into mist like they're supposed to and go up a drain to avoid the zombies?

>>3279021
Washington was also a 6 foot 2 wrestling champion.

>>3279834
Was he boss of the gym?

>>3279836
Fuck you!

>>3279832
because that would be fucking boring. What are you, some sort of fucking queer?

>>3279792
Redubs of Takeshi's Castle?

>>3279796
Excellent taste, I enjoy masturbating to a few.

>>3279859
They do put a ton of TNA in there, that show is such ameritrash

>>3279859
The episode where the roastie chokes on the cucumber is kino. As is the episode where the girl cuts herself by masturbating with a carrot and dies

>>3279868
Nah, they just accidentally cater to my fetishes.

>>3279857
Right you are Ken.

Where did they even get DPRK special forces experts?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=i9Hz7Kbq6aQ

>>3279896
They got a "tactics expert" (whatever the fuck that means), a former SK officer and a former US intelligence guy, surely great experts on the hermit states special forces

>>3279913
>>3279896
Why did those special forces have absolutely no fucking combat knives? Why did the DPRK have rifles without stocks?

>>3279915
Because they didn't test for knives, dummy, everyone knows soldiers only have 4 weapons allowed when at war

>>3279926
Why didn't they have sidearms and more than one magazine of ammunition?

>>3279928
They were only allowed to have a carbine, a scoped rifle, an explosive and their fists. But don't worry, they accounted for their training and other shit with a number out of 100 that will give only the most accurate results

>>3279933
>>3279933
You mean the training that ensured that both squads immediately lose all rationality and split up during a firefight while assaulting a fixed position?

>>3279936
Yes

>>3279791
>Full Plate vs Chainmail
LMAO

>>3279857
I miss mxc

>>3279940
>woman vs man
LMAO

He would beat her naked, which saves him the trouble of having to take off his clothes when he starts raping her.

>>3279940
>5'10" swordmaster vs some peasant with really good oration skills

>>3279946
>5'10"
A rare case of the French and English seeing eye to eye.

>>3279955
5'10" was probably giant back then desu. Especially considering Joan would have been a peaseant and therefore been stunted.

>>3279961
height doesnt matter. Bitches cant fight worth a damn, especially before the age of steroids. An adult woman is legitimately less of a threat than a 15 year old boy.

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>That episode where a Gatling gun beats a Vickers
I really miss this shows unique brand of Americentrism

>>3279968
Incas were superior to europeans, you don't think an american invention would be superior to a european one? ;)

>>3279977
I'd assume they'd use a M1895 instead of a weapon 30 years obsolete tbqh fampai

>>3279968
kek except this was spot on

vickers a shit

>>3279983
At least it isn't fucking horse drawn, and capable of being moved into position by just 4 men

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>>3279977
You are doing it wrong.

that time samuri beat a knight. with their shitty pig iron swords

>>3280047
I dont think knights ever fought samurai on the show. Vikings and samurai fought though

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>>3278732

Too stupid to take seriously, not stupid enough to find outrageously entertaining.

Too bad /his/fags weren't writing the scripts, we could've come up with some funny shit like a nine month pregnant Anne Frank armed with a Bowie fighting William T. Sherman atop an erupting volcano fueled by the souls of millions of dead Germans sacrificed to please the fire god, Bomber Harris himself.

>>3280052
yeah you're right , realized my mistake. but still vikings with steal weapons and Armour. unless they are a berserk filled with rage, adrenaline and some sort of drugs

>>3280075
stamford bridge viking vs 5 samurai
Who wins? No dickshots allowed.

>>3280063

I just came up with a few more ideas.

Judges Roger Taney and Roland Freisler beat each other to death with gavels

Ulysses S. Grant and Georgy Zhukov fight with broken beer bottles

Obese Bugs Bunny and Max Stirner duel with 12-gauge shotguns

William T. Sherman and Bomber Harris fight with flamethrowers

Colossus of Rhodes and Statue of Liberty fistfight

Nazi Germany in 1941 fights 1914 Soviet Unions

Charles II and Simo Hayha shoot at each other from a mile away with .50 caliber sniper rifles

Anne Frank and Joan of Arc (both nine months pregnant) duel with USMC M1859 NCO Swords

Anaconda Alexander Hamilton fights the Pwease No Steppy Snake on the Gadsen flag

Robert E. Lee and Erwin Rommel duel with sabers

The Romanov sisters (all nine months pregnant) fight the Goebbels children

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4 hours in gimp

>>3280139
>simo using a barett
He would vomit if he had to use anything less spartan than a standard issue m39

bamp

It's bullshit but it's good for getting people into history and later finding out it's bullshit.

>>3279802
>this is something that is typical of ALL television because its the shittiest medium
Ftfy /int/faggot

>>3279857
Still got my dvds of MxC
Its actually quite fascinating how many countries its aired in and the unique spin each country put on it. Even in island asian nations close to Japan it was redubbed in interesting ways

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>>3280139
>1914 Soviet Union

Anybody else play the game? It was so stupid, but also awesome
>tfw dismembered sun tzu backflipping around

>>3280753
it's one thousand nine hundred fourteen SUs

it was a funny thread

>>3279357
ah yes, I missed the old porn tabs in screenshots meme

>>3279945
>>3279965
Please peasant women who worked all their life would beat your ass niger. You didn't work a damn day of your life.

>>3280923
>Play Spartan
>Chuck spear
>Always hits head
Was some broken shit, did they ever change that?

>>3281239
>playing literal spearchuckers

>>3281230
considering neither of them have any formal weapons training I'd assume they'd be on equal footing

>>3278903
Jesus Christ Teddy was basically a LARPer with minimal training fighting with technology from late 19th century. Lawrence was able to hold his own in WWI era.

>>3281287
You don't understand the show, Murrica always wins, I think the only reason the Spetsnaz won was because they were legitimately scared of the Spetsnaz expert

>>3279163
I loved this guys passion

>>3279207
Joan would win because her equipment is basically the same but more "modern".

>>3281656
20% of joan's team is made up of female peasents with no formal weapons training, that's a pretty big handicap to start with

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>>3279796
Patrician taste

>>3279021
Washington fought in the Ohio valley during the 7 Years War. He did see combat first hand.

>>3281663
I thought it was 1vs1

>>3281721
If it was 1v1 she'd be even more fucked

>>3280939
The discussion was about 1941 Nazi Germanies against the Soviet Union from 1914

>>3279021
>He doesn't know about the Braddock campaign
>laughingFrenchFrontiersman.png

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>>3280139
>Ulysses S. Grant and Georgy Zhukov fight with broken beer bottles

Was retarded as hell like all American television. How does George Washington beat Napoleon? Even if you don't take into account the superiority of the French Revolutionary Army Washington was simply a shitty general when compared to Napoleon. Though to be fair Spike's viewership would probably be pissed if they saw their hero get killed by a Frenchman.

>>3278732
>How much bullshit was Deadliest Warrior?
I genuinely thought it was some sort of parody when I first come across it, that's how much bullshit it is.
It's obviously subjective whether as a show it's fun to watch or not, but it has no place being talked about in /his/.

>>3280139
>bugs . . . lay off the sacred carrots

>>3280923
Pirate flintlock OP

>>3280139
Most of these ideas sound funnier and more interesting than the actual show, kek

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>>3280139
>The Romanov sisters (all nine months pregnant) fight the Goebbels children
I. CAN'T. BREATHE.

>>3279357
Audie Murphy was a turbomanlet as well. There's something about the short fucks and overperforming in warfare

>>3279207
Battle preview
https://youtu.be/v0lGQQjL-vc

It seems like it was a lot more culturally charged than people realized at the time

>>3278816
William the conquerer versus a cheerleader. HMMMMM.

>>3281656
Even if she was wearing plate she'd get rekt by Will.

>>3281287
Teddy fought in the Spanish American war friendo. And tried to goto Europe in ww1 but was told no by the president.

It was more class based than the base game, and it had less dragfaggots. Pirates were a mistake though, and only cancerous cunts play them.

>>3284907

If they weren't pregnant, they'd stomp the Goebbels children easily, just wouldn't be a fair fight.

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>>3279207
>William didn't have god on his side

Saxon lies

>>3279941
Watch the original Takashi's Castle, they have a hell of a lot more challenges.

>>3285774
I wrote thesis about it. It's no mystery to me. His first military training was with the Rough Riders. Knowing all the cool war stories and embarassed because his father didn't fight he desperately wanted to know what it's like.