Can someone give me a brief run down of the history of Rome?
How did it all happen? What were the cool bits? Was it like HBO's Rome?
You can listen to the History of Rome Podcast, if you want a quick rundown. It's pretty good for normies content with the highlights.
>Was it like HBO's Rome
Probably gaudier
>>3278347
idk I watched a thing on the Brothers Graccus and it was cool. Rome is fucking amazing even if it does lose its shit at some point. All of season 2 is actually pretty bad. But yeah it might be worth it to me to look into it. Just seems like a lot to learn I guess. Mainly just nonsense I guess
QUICK RUNDOWN for op
>Two bros suckle on wolf tits
>One called Romulus the other called Remus
>The kids have passionate sex with the wolf and make babies
>The kid's kids have sex and so on and so forth
>Become small inbred civilization called Etruscans
>Romulus kills bro and calls himself King
>Etruscans gain intelligence after a couple thousand years and rename their origin town Rome
>Etruscans change nationality to Roman because reasons
>Some big fight happens and more "Kings" pop up
>The Romans decide having kings is too """"problematic""""" so they use superior Greek philosophy and become a Republic™
>Consuls argue and nothing gets done for a long long time
>One day a privileged trust fund baby called Julius is born
>Is so charismatic that everyone likes him
>Good at fighting and expands Rome into G*rman and Frog lands
>His friend Pompey gets jelly but suppresses anger from his senpai
>Julius writes book about travelling G*rman lands, becomes celebrity
>All his friends back home get mad jelly (we'll come back to this later. very important.)
>Some African Kangz led by a black man called Hannibal has beef with Rome
>Hannibal leads an army of elephants and brown people to Rome
>One of Julius's school friends, Pompey, agrees to put aside his jealousy and tag team with Julius to kill the kangz
>Julius doesn't do much and instead keeps writing books about killing G*rmans
>Hannibal reaches Rome but cant attack because his elephants died in snow
>Hannibal has tantrum
>Some Madman™ charges Hannibal's army
>Battle of Cannae happens
>the black man wins but his army is half dead
>Meantime, Scipio Africanus attacks Kangzland and wins
>Hannibal dies
>>3278832
>Pompey says Rome is his now because Julius isn't home yet
>Julius tells Pompey to fuck off
>They have a fight and Julius wins
>Julius's family popularity is on Kardashian levels
>Julius adopts pleb called Octavius and actually loves him like a son, the madman.
>Some beta virgins called Brutus and Cassius say Julius is a dictator
>Pull shit out their ass
>It works
>Julius is killed by his own senate
>Julius's son and Uncle Mark Antony promise to avenge their sensei's death
>Octavius + Mark Antony + Lepidus vs Brutus + Cassius + Pompey's final form
>Best Rome is winning
>During war Mark looses virginity to Miss Greece aka Cleopatra
>Marks gf offers army to win final battle
>Octavius says Julius sensei gave him right to rule and not Mark and his immigrant gf
>Pathetic Mark dies to Octavius in 1v1 fist fight
>Cleo is so sad she commits seppuku
>Octavius evolves into Augustus and continues his fathers legacy
>Rome becomes an Empire
>>3278332
Beginning:
>Fuck Barbarians!
End:
>Fuck, Barbarians!
>>3279869
Thanks
>>3278832
what the fuck are you on about?
The Wars with Carthage ended Decades before Caesar was born. This is a shit rundown. Browsing Wikipedia will be infinity better then reading this.
All you need go know
>>3278839
Thanks man. Wasn't Octavius a Julii though?
>>3280967
No he was adopted
>>3280942
>The Wars with Carthage ended Decades before Caesar was born.
>Somehow mixed 2nd Punic war with 1st triumvirate somehow
Give me some slack, I did that shit at 2am.
>>3279869
It's a terrible rundown.
Also the shewolf was a prostitute.