ITT: Hideous historical figures

>>326608
OP, dumbass. When you start at the very top, how are we supposed to keep it interesting?

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>anon, I

>>326745
Fuck

>>326745

ayyy my sides

I met a person one time who had a ridiculously bad Hapsburg jaw. She was hideous. Seriously, those portraits just don't do it justice. It's a pretty horrible look. You could also barely understand her because her jaw was so messed up.

>>326710
Weirdly enough, people that knew Lincoln described him as strangely beautiful in a way that photographs couldn't capture.

>>326793
> M'domina

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>>326793
>In his book The Lives of the Twelve Caesars, Suetonius describes Nero as "about the average height, his body marked with spots and malodorous, his hair light blond, his features regular rather than attractive, his eyes blue and somewhat weak, his neck over thick, his belly prominent, and his legs very slender."
>tfw even a fat neckbeard was still emperor and therefore more successful than you

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>>326789
He looks like this guy.

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Danton did nothing wrong.

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Hideyoshi was infamously known for how ugly he was. He was originally given the nickname monkey by his former lord because of this.

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Just think, Marat was actually much much uglier than his paintings.

>>327039
Didn't he have a funny quote about his ugliness? Something along asking his executor about to decapitate him to show his head to the public because "it's worth it"?

>>326745
"Easy now, fuzzy little man peach."

>>327039
>>327087

No wonder they wanted a revolution

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>>327069

>>327069
>lose to one of the worst run Korean governments of all time and a financially buttfucked, dying Ming dynasty
>pipsqueak son gets shogunate keked away by Tokugawa Ieyasu
>looked like that

Toyotomi had a hard life

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>>327087
>Described during his time as a man "short in stature, deformed in person, and hideous in face,"[12] Marat has long been noted for physical irregularities. The nature of Marat's debilitating skin disease, in particular, has been an object of ongoing medical interest. Dr. Josef E. Jelinek noted that his skin disease was intensely itchy, blistering, began in the perianal region, and was associated with weight loss leading to emaciation. He was sick with it for the three years prior to his assassination, and spent most of this time in his bathtub. There were various minerals and medicines that were present in his bath while he soaked to help ease the pain caused by his debilitating skin disease. The bandana that is seen wrapped around his head was soaked in vinegar to reduce the severity of his discomfort.[13] Jelinek's diagnosis is dermatitis herpetiformis.[6]

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>>327136
Robespierre looked like shit too. Was the French Revolution actually the first recorded Beta Uprising?

>>327159
He was up against one of the best military tacticians ever.

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>>327192

RRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEE
GET OUT NOBLES

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>>327192
He looked much worse than this portrait IRL. He was described as pockmarked by syphillis.
Here is an attempt to recreate his face based on his cranium.

>>327192

> Danton
> Beta

>>327192
We may be on to something /his/

Why were French people so ugly?

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Is Mao ugly or gentle kind looking?

I could never decide

>>326608
>>326745
>>326793
>>327257
>these people were literally royalty, the 1%, the cream of the crop of society

>>327257
Holy fuck

>>327737
More like the 1% of the 1%

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How about Aesthetic historical figures?

>>327279
Funny, but this is bullshit

>>327728
As he got fatter and older he became more gentle looking, unlike crazy eyes here

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>>327773

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>>327773
lel

>>327343
He was a secret ugly beta, playing like he wasn't thanks to money and newspapers

>>327257
Now you realize that the painter probably actually tried to paint him looking better than he actually did.

>>327728
Arr rook the same desu

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>>327773
>>327802
>>327803
nigga's step the fuck off

>>327803
He's a teenager in that pic.

>>327109

Evening. What're you doing in my demense?

>>327829
He has an uncanny resemblance to young Chino Moreno.

>>327829
nice shoop fag

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>>327829

Why are commies so good looking?

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>>327829
Nice meme

>>327829

Fake

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>>327881
Young Zhou Enlai was aesthetic as fuck

Goddamn he could start a worker's revolution in my commune anyday

>>328066
Is all you do here just post about your man crush on enlai?

>>328066
>Wearing the KMT sun on his cap
???

>>328097
Anon, GMD and GCD had a good relation after Sun Yat Sen warmed up to Soviet. Zhou was heading Whampoa political department at a time.

>>326608

Is this CK2 fanart?

>>327198
Persians cut my nose

>>328066
>Zhou Enlai
>Not based Yukio Mishima

>>326608
>>327257

>Sponsor an artist to take your portrait
>Pay him, possibly feed and house him
>Stand still for hours so this fucker can paint the portrait that will incapsulate the essence of your being for all to see
>Finally they finish
>Lets see this masterpiece
>They whip these around

I'd have to ask if they were taking the piss. Motherfucker you better make me look like Narcissus with what I'm paying you.

>>328266
To be fair, OP's King was literally a retard. Likely the second as well, or at least mentally handicapped

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>>328066
Step your game up desu

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>>328280
>those legs

>>326838
Probably because his stature made up for his features.

People tend to respect and sometimes idolize those whom are taller than them.

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>>328095
No I post history related stuff too sometimes

>>328250
>>328280
>suicidal Japanese ultranationalist
Nah

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>>328315
Literally irrelevant when talking aesthetics

>>328289
HIPPON DRAIVU

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>>327773
Mihai Eminescu was handsome as fuck.

>>327307
Guy looks just like a friend's dad kek.

>>327728
>
Why didn't he just shave his fucking head or at leas trim his shit? I swear Mao has possibly the single worst hairstyle of any modern historical character.

>>327773
He looked like shit without the moustache, though.

>>327803
I dunno guys, I find him to be strangely handsome here.

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>>327773
He is so cool and pretty..

>>327089
>N’oublie pas surtout, n’oublie pas de montrer ma tête au peuple : elle est bonne à voir
top lad

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>micropeen
Stalin and FDR were leagues more attractive than Churchill

>>327192
He looks like pepe desu

>>327803
looks like the singer from arcade fire

>>326774
Himmler was awesome though. He started out as a fucking chicken farmer and his wife and daughter are 10/10 qts.
Based Himmler

>>327257
You now realize that most nobles had hobbies like
>killing and eating kids
(just like they still do today)
imagine that face is the last thing you're seeing, while he shits on your stommach and one of his servants strangles you

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>>327039
and guy headed the tribunal against him lol

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>>329292
Nowhere near as smug as the original frogpost

>>327257
common he doesnt look terrible. just like an old version of mario desu

>>327141

Yeah but he actually makes up for it with a great personality

He can also tapdance.

>>329286
Look at him when he was a dashing young man: he looked almost the stereotype of the late Victorian era robust British man.

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>>326793

>>327996
He looks even better now desu
I'd take a mustache ride all the way to Mons

>>328315

>suicidal Japanese
Every single one of them are suicidal.
>ultranationalist
What's wrong with that?

>>328639
Because then hed look like Chiang Kai Sheck

>>326710
Lincoln is good looking.

>>328639
A receding hairline is a good look on older men.

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>>329469
Literally looks like the kid off This Is England.

>>330079
How? He was an ugly lanklet (who even joked about being such) and he apparently had a very high-pitched grating speaking voice.

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>>326774

>>326608
Ahem.. he's actually quitehandsome

>>330224
I just don't think that he looks ugly.

>>327087
How can a half Sardinian be so ugly?

>>329286
>seriously trying to talk shit about a man's dick size based on a pic of him post-swim
You must be a woman

>>330224
I thought he was famed for a booming, deep voice.

>>330395
>got laid more than any of you ever will

>>330408
>THIS sexual deviant is fucking TONS of OCCULTIST BABES
>and BASICALLY
>YOU'RE FUCKING ORDINARY

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>>330395
>imblying you wouldn't fug this

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>>327773
This silver fox right here

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>>330415
every fucking time desu

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>>326992
My fucking side provinces

>>330395
Nigga Crowley is the defenition of a pimp-ass charismatic motherfucker.
He was also ducking handsome.

>>327194
>best military tacticians ever

Sekigahara was a gamble, Tokugawas force could''nt hope to overcome the other lords so he fired on Hideyoshis position and hideyoshi reponded with an alliance. The guy was an imbecile who only had to do nothing to hold power.

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JUST

>>330526
>ducking
Phone?

>>330604
Errrr... he's actually quite handsome

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>>327773

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>>327773
I'd like to say Caesar but in every other sculpture he looks retarded

nop

>>330700
he looks like a mad scientist, shit standards you have family

>>330710
Your sculpture looks inaccurate, he was actually bald IRL.

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>>330710
apparently no good quality sculptures of caesar have survived compared to other historical figures. i read that in an art history book but i'm not sure how true it is

>>330706
sort of looks like pic related

>>326710
Once he was accused of being two-faced, and replied something like: If I were, I wouldn't use this one so much!

>>326793
IVST

>>330773
FVCK

>>330700

He was always unkempt and smelled like shit.

>>328244
Actually coke did.

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>>328280
>>328374
And this was his bitch.

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>>326608
This haggard looking witch queen

>>330224
some chicks like a non threatening lanklet/

>>326745
I fucking hate that era.

the JUST era.

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>>327773

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>>329344
>daughter are 10/10 qts
He got c.ucked m8.

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>>326608

>>331333

He is abussing her anyways.
Look at the faces.

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>>327773
It's odd but in a way I've always found Henry VIII pretty aesthetic. He looks like the kind of guy who'd be great to hang out with, albeit not so great of a ruler.

>>331448
Supposedly he was an great looking guy. I've heard he gained the throne fairly young, so his palace was basically a partyhouse for him and his other 20-something bros

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>>326608

>>331650
>welcome to shity wok can i take a order prease

>>331448
Robert Baratheon

>>327069
Is it just me or does he look like the feel guy?

>>331448
He was a decent enough ruler. Just a bit... over the top.

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>>330706
CRILLY

>>326745
Kek

>>331448
I never noticed this in the past, but
>that bulge

>>332064
Never underestimate the power of a good codpiece, my friend.

>>327737
>>these people were literally royalty, the 1%, the cream of the crop of society


>look for most inbreed most degenerate family you can find
>make them hereditary absolute ruler over your country

Monarchists...

>>332541
they devolved into that state after hundreds of years of inbreeding.

Still, monarchism is fucking retarded in my opinion

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>>330706
>dat scowl

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>>327728
deng is just hideous

>>331345
Just a bad haircut, like most people from his era. Especially the women, who thought shaving eyebrows was a good idea.

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>>327257
Other portraits show him just hideous, rather than monstruously inhuman.

>>332799
>it is treason then

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Disgusting as fuck

>>328266
They did the best job they could, but they couldn't just paint a different person

>>326745
Proto-Conchita Wurst

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>>330635
nigga is straight vladmir harkonnenesque

>>332843
As if you wouldn't tap that

>>332512
I don't believe that was a cod piece anon. I believe that everyone else in his court wore cod pieces so he wouldn't have to be embarrassed by his swollen Syphilis infected penis

>>330706
Ancient Henry Rollins

>>330721
He went bald at the back I think. He still had a fringe. If he was tall, the wreath would have easily hidden a bald crown; it would not be able to hide an empty dome.

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>>332799
When I saw that image...

>>332832
Age does shit to you mane.

>>331448
10/10
Would eat eels with

>>333114
Nope, just checked. He had a receding hairline and he combed his hair forward.

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>>327773

>>333119
Dumb Sheevposter

>>327141
TOP
K
E
K

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>>327773
Cutest president coming through

Young Rutherford Hayes ain't so bad either, but he aged like milk compared to Grant's aging like wine.

Memedrew Jacksonfags need not apply.
He literally chose Calhoun (>>330858) for VP so that he'd look less hideous standing side by side.
Fact.

>>327192
Literally french james cagney

>>330710
>tfw no living man can compare to the divine Caesar
Too perfect for this world

>>334243
He's very handsome, but I'll always be partial to qt3.14 nerd Jefferson

>>327228
Socrates looks ok there, some descriptions make him sound hideous

>>333078
I'll admit it, I kek'd.

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>>327773

>>327029
King of Autism.

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>>327773
Young Boney.

>>336633
That's middle aged Nap

>>336683
He was 28 at the time of Egyptian campaign.
When he got so fat?

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>>336726
Italian genes do that to you.

On the other hand, he was still handsome. Here's his death mask, since most of his portraits are reportedly inaccurate.

>>326793
>insane neck-beard that hated Christians
wow history does repeat it self

>>336948
schmexy desu

>>330710
It's treason then

>>326745
Incest will do that to ya.

>>326745
>>327257
what is it with these fucking "I just ate 30 raw lemons" lips? is this what medieval inbreeding looked like?

>>328758
Hank?

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>>337192
Indeed.

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>>337459
well eliot rodgers did descend from british aristocracy senpai

>>326789
AYYYYYYY LMAOOOOOO

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Princess Ruth of Hawaii. She weighed 440 pounds, and that was considered attractive there.

>>328280
Seriously, how do I get this body?

>>338119
Worship of the Emperor and Japan.

>>330111
Kek

Good eye on that one

>>338106
Damn she thicc

>>328374
It's amazing what repressing homosexuality can do for your gains.

>>329286
>I WAS IN THE WATER!

>>338106
She has an upside down mickey mouse icon as a nose

>>330706
If ya smelllll...what Scipio..is..cookin?

>>331448
top lad desu

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>>331448

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>>327773
Hottest desu

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>>338999
>Got keked by this

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>>327773

>>339156
B I G
W I Z A R D
C O C K

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>>326710
>>326838

Probably the same reason alien looking models get work.. Their facial features are not deformed, but strangely built, often aligned with good features.

I would guess his baby blues and stature made him more eye catching, rather than an ugly cunt.

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>>327773
>tfw no handsome dictator

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I just wanna know how someone so ugly managed to get so many pussy in his life.

>>336948
He looks a lot like Mussolini there.

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>>337800
Why don't leaders have great noses anymore?

>>338999
<3

>>339242
One eye on the intrinsic meaninglessness of life, one eye on the bitches.

>>326745
>b-but monarchy is the best f-form of government!

>>339294
98 was shit though

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>>327773
basically any ethiopian warrior ever

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>>327069
>traditional nippon art

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>>327773
I don't know who he was beyond him being a dirty protester but he was hot af

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>>339785
>dat proportions

>>339190
*sigh* my husbando~~~

>>340068
that's Jesus

>>340259
They were all so small in the beginning, too...

>>340318
"up the ra" - jesus christ

>>326608
Every Hapsburg family and their ugly chin

>>327015
>believing suetonius about the later julio-claudians
Literally Flavian propaganda.

>>336948
holy fuck that jawline

>>327716
They still are

>>330604
He is sexy as fuck

>>330844
Proof proof you got any proof?

>>327192
>don't go to paris tomorrow

>>334243
Sexiest man to ever live.

>>327228
He. Looks more like a angry grandpa, someone who scares kids in the street

>>327829
Nice obscure actor you posted there

>>327228
Athens did nothing wrong

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I win.

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>>334243
>Young Rutherford Hayes ain't so bad either
Damn right he aint

>>338106
Pacific Islanders get crazy fat. It's in their genes

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>>344260
And then he pulls a JUST. Leonardo DiCaprio would have been good choice to play him in a biography. He could pull off both a young and old Ludwig. They might even be related.

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>>327773

>>339433
How is that statement related to the picture, my friend?

>>330539
I think he meant Yi Sun Shin.

>>336948

desu that looks btter thanhe does in most of the paintings. imagine when he was young

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>>344322
>Rutherford Hayes
>Scooby1961

holy fuck

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>>327192
FUCKING NOBLEFAGS

>>326710
Am I crazy if I find this hot?