Wtf was this man on, every line is fucking comedy gold.
Once, when watching an incompetent bowman at an archery contest, Diogenes walked over and sat down right next to the target, explaining that it was the only place where he felt safe.
When Diogenes noticed a prostitute's son throwing rocks at crowd, Diogenes said to him "Careful, son. Don't hit your father."
AHAHAHA FFS
>>3264668
he didn't actually say any of the things attributed to him by authors decades-centuries after his death