Historical burns

>>3251393
Bump

>>3251393
how can u arrest someone for not liking ur shitty poems

where all the greeks such fags?

>>3251561
Kings, despots and tyrants could generally speaking do mostly whatever as long as they didn't piss off any powerful people/cliques.

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>>3251393

>Triboulet couldn’t contain himself and slapped the monarch on the bum. The monarch lost his temper and threatened to execute Triboulet. A little later, the monarch calmed down a little and promised to forgive Triboulet if he could think of an apology more insulting than the offending deed.

>A few seconds later, Triboulet responded: “I’m so sorry, your majesty, that I didn’t recognize you! I mistook you for the Queen!”

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>>3251393
>In a famous exchange with the actor Samuel Foote, Sandwich [John Montagu, 4th Earl of Sandwich] declared, "Foote, I have often wondered what catastrophe would bring you to your end; but I think, that you must either die of the pox, or the halter." "My lord", replied Foote instantaneously, "that will depend upon one of two contingencies; -- whether I embrace your lordship's mistress, or your lordship's principles."

This burn was so famous it is commonly misattributed to other famous people, including John Wilkes and Benjamin Disraeli.

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Don't know if this qualify as bantz but

>Once Krates, the Cynic philosopher, didn’t answer to a question by Stilpon, but just farted… expressing his contempt. Stilpon responded to that with that way :
>“I knew that your answer will be totally irrelevant to my question.”.

from memory
>Zeno of Elea presented his proof in the Agora at Athens as to why all motion was impossible because of an infinite amount of finite actions necessary
>Diogenes rebutted by walking away.

>>3251674
>4th Earl of Sandwich

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>When Prince Laurent of Belgium (third in line for the crown of the kingdom) was young he was walking through the forest one time with his personal teacher.
>Prince Laurent had a reputation for being not so smart, like all Saxen-Coburgs, and his teacher had taken him on this trip to discuss with the prince the wonders of nature, science and the animal world.
>After a long monologue about the nature of nature, when the teacher asked Laurent if he had understood anything of what he had said, the prince said. "Yes, nature is what surrounds us."

>>3251795
That was Montagu's full aristocratic title. What of it?

>>3251747
>bantz
More like beta damage control

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>When the British threatened to intervene on behalf of the Danes in the Second Schleswig War, Chancellor Bismarck simply replied "If the British Army landed in Europe, I'd get the Belgian police to arrest them"

>>3251813
Not sure if that's really /his/; Prince Laurent of Belgium is still alive.

>>3251591
kek

>>3252077
Eternal Anglo BTFO

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>>3251393
>Robert Surcouf was a corsair during the napoleonic era.
>When he was captured near the end of the war, he attended to a dinner with british officers. One of the officers laughed at Surcouf, saying : "Admit it, you french fought for money, while we english fought for honor."
>Surcouf replied : "That is true ; After all, we all fight for what we don't have."

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When Wellington arrived as guest of honor to a Ball in Paris, the Marshals of France whom he had so resoundingly beaten in previous campaigns turned their backs on him. A blushing Louis XVIII apologized for their rudeness but the Great Duke just shrugged his shoulders and said:
"I have seen their backs before."

>He [Diogenes the Cynic] was asking alms of a bad-tempered man, who said, "Yes, if you can persuade me." "If I could have persuaded you," said Diogenes, "I would have persuaded you to hang yourself."

>>3251624
>Tfw your king forgives bants if you can give him even stronger bants

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>>3252274
damn

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>>3252312
Rekt

>>3251393
In Mughal India, there was a civil war between Shah Jahan's two sons, Dara and Aurangzeb. Dara's supporters, including the Italian artillery specialist Niccolo Manucci, were besieged in Bhakkar. The garrison was commanded by the eunuch named Basant, "Spring" or "Primavera" in Italian. When war went badly for Dara's forces, but the Bhakkar fortress was still not taken, Aurangzeb's commander Khalilullah Khan sent a letter to Basant promising him great wealth if he surrendered the fortress. Basant replied favourably, agreeing to the terms and proposing a parlay if Khalilullah Khan came in person. So Khalilullah Khan had to travel through half of India to Bhakkar. Manucci narrates in his journal:

>Primavera the eunuch was quite rejoiced at the arrival of Khalilullah Khan, and decided on giving him a reply. With this idea he sent for me, and ordered me to load with horns and old shoes the cannon nearest to the garden where Khalilullah Khan had encamped. It was charged thus up to the very muzzle. The answer was after this wise:
>I hold few words with you, for I am greatly amazed at you, and I hope to supply your want, having been all your life a pimp and used to shoe beatings from women. Herewith what you deserve, I offer you a present proportioned to your merits.
>The letter went on with more abuse, which I will not insert. Closing it he ordered it to be handed to Khalilullah Khan. The eunuch watched for the arrival of the boat at the garden, which was not far from the fortress ; and when it seemed that Khalilullah Khan must be perusing the letter, he ordered us to fire off the cannon, and we covered Khalilullah Khan's tent with the charge it contained.

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>>3251393
Diogenes's entire life is one giant BTFO to Plato

>>3252274

Eternal Anglo BTFO

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Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks to Sultan Mehmed IV of the Ottoman Empire after he sent them a letter naming various titles he had and to surrender:
>Zaporozhian Cossacks to the Turkish Sultan!

>O sultan, Turkish devil and damned devil's kith and kin, secretary to Lucifer himself. What the devil kind of knight are thou, that canst not slay a hedgehog with your naked arse? The devil shits, and your army eats. Thou shalt not, thou son of a whore, make subjects of Christian sons; we have no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, fuck thy mother.

>Thou Babylonian scullion, Macedonian wheelwright, brewer of Jerusalem, goat-fucker of Alexandria, swineherd of Greater and Lesser Egypt, pig of Armenia, Podolian thief, catamite of Tartary, hangman of Kamyanets, and fool of all the world and underworld, an idiot before God, grandson of the Serpent, and the crick in our dick. Pig's snout, mare's arse, slaughterhouse cur, unchristened brow, screw thine own mother!

>So the Zaporozhians declare, you lowlife. You won't even be herding pigs for the Christians. Now we'll conclude, for we don't know the date and don't own a calendar; the moon's in the sky, the year with the Lord, the day's the same over here as it is over there; for this kiss our arse!

>>3251591

Lost

>>3251591
>someone posted my oc from last year

holy shit my life has meaning

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>>3251393
Philip II of Macedon, who after invading southern Greece and receiving the submission of other key city-states, sent a message to Sparta: "You are advised to submit without further delay, for if I bring my army into your land, I will destroy your farms, slay your people, and raze your city".
The Spartan ephors replied with a single word:
"If."

Subsequently, neither Philip nor his son Alexander the Great attempted to capture the city.

>>3251393
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laconic_phrase
Spartans were pretty good at this.

>>3252542
That would only really be a BTFO if the Spartans actually went on to do something important while the Macedonians were busy destroying the Persians and creating a Hellenistic empire.

Also, the Spartans later tried to overthrow Macedonian control of Greece and got BTFO'd by Antipater: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Megalopolis

>>3252077
I don't get it.

>>3252602
The British were renowned for their navy, but their army was something of a joke on the continent, especially so far removed from the Napoleonic Wars. The joke is that the small British army would land and be arrested by the police is little more than a troublesome rabble.

>>3252496
Is this an excerpt from a Modern Warfare match on Xbox live?

>>3252610
thank you, friend

>>3252496
>you will never get together with your mates and brainstorm insults to throw at a turkish sultan
feels bad man

>>3252646
We do that every day with Erdogan
t. East European

>>3252542

Spartans were fucking famous for giving short, concise retorts whenever challenged, either militarily or philosophically.

>Observing that his son was fighting impetuously against the Athenians, he said, “Either add to your strength, or subtract from your courage.”

>>3252274
HOLY FUCK, Kek

>>3252496
>when cracking open a cold one with the boys goes into writing history's greatest banter to a sultan.

I wish I had friends like these. Fuck.

>>3252630
>>3252646
>>3252730

>Sultan Mehmed IV to the Zaporozhian Cossacks:
>As the Sultan; son of Muhammad; brother of the sun and moon; grandson and viceroy of God; ruler of the kingdoms of Macedonia, Babylon, Jerusalem, Upper and Lower Egypt; emperor of emperors; sovereign of sovereigns; extraordinary knight, never defeated; steadfast guardian of the tomb of Jesus Christ; trustee chosen by God Himself; the hope and comfort of Muslims; confounder and great defender of Christians - I command you, the Zaporogian Cossacks, to submit to me voluntarily and without any resistance, and to desist from troubling me with your attacks.

>--Turkish Sultan Mehmed IV
They just mocked the original one sent by the sultan, which increased the banter level.

>>3252496
That's some eloquently way to say "go fuck yourself son of a bitch"

>>3252082
The rule is 25 years. Laurent's getting on in years now, this should be fine.

>>3251747
What the fug, were all ancient people autists that farted when they got cornered?

>>3252669
Spartans were nutty.
>Two warriors, brothers, were fleeing from the enemy back toward the city. Their mother happened to be on the road and saw them running toward her. She lifted her skirts above her waist. “Where do you two think you’re running? Back here from whence you came?”

>>3252834
How do you refute a man shameless enough to use a fart as an argument

>>3252462
jej

>>3252860
Piss on him. Alternatively, kill him

>>3252860
>"You should have kept that in your mouth"

>>3252274
Fucking savage. I'll have to remember that one.

>>3252350
>>He [Diogenes the Cynic] was asking alms of a bad-tempered man, who said, "Yes, if you can persuade me." "If I could have persuaded you," said Diogenes, "I would have persuaded you to hang yourself."
>"literally kys" has literally been around literally forever
refreshing

>>3252860
No wiser words have ever come out of your body.

Literally anything involving Diogenes

>>3252040
made me laugh like a retard thats all

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Nicholas Longworth, 38th Speaker of the United States House of Representatives
>One particular famous retort is attributed to Longworth. One day, while lounging in a chair at the Capitol, another member of the House ran his hand over Longworth's bald pate and commented, "Nice and smooth. Feels just like my wife's bottom." Longworth felt his own head and returned an answer: "Yes, so it does."

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Noam Chomsky on Slavoj Žižek:
>“There’s no ‘theory’ in any of this stuff, not in the sense of theory that anyone is familiar with in the sciences or any other serious field. Try to find… some principles from which you can deduce conclusions, empirically testable propositions where it all goes beyond the level of something you can explain in five minutes to a 12-year-old. See if you can find that when the fancy words are decoded. I can’t. So I’m not interested in that kind of posturing. Žižek is an extreme example of it. I don’t see anything to what he’s saying.”

>>3251613
The bronze bull. Romans and Greeks sure knew how to kill.

>>3251775
subtle

The diogenes with Plato and the chicken (you know what I'm talking about)

>>3252602
The British land army had always been an utter joke until WW1

>>3254405
*supports Pol Pot*

Diogenes-worship is a sure sign of mental deficiency.

Let's all praise the derelict failure who sits in his own feces and takes cheap shots at superior men! The only decent thing Diogenes did was humiliate himself so that nobody else has to waste time doing it.

>>3255111
By what metric is he a failure? He was very popular and sometimes respected in his time, and we're still talking about him millennia after his death. What the fuck have you done with your life?

>>3255147
Rrrrright, very popular, that's why he was left to wallow in his own shit and piss.

I've done well with my life so far. What did Diogenes do? It's not like he even wrote these things down, he's a deranged character who gets trotted out for a laugh every so often.

>>3255156
First of all, no one who namefags on an anonymous image board is doing well at anything. And beyond that,
>left to wallow
It's okay not to know everything on a subject, but just take a quick glance at his Wikipedia page before you suppose to understand his philosophy.

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>>3252496
What a magnificent shitpost

>King Demaratus, being annoyed by someone pestering him with a question concerning who the most exemplary Spartan was, answered "He that is least like you

>>3255111
>a platonist can't handle bants
Nothing new under the sun

>>3252977
Seems familiar, who said that?

>>3254428
Neither roman nor greek.

This fucking board will one day kill me.

>>3254428
And btw, its a brazen bull not bronze.

Just stfu if you dont know jack shit.

>>3252496
>goat fucker of alexandria


hohohoho

>Fritz Darges was Hitler's personal adjutant for representing the SS
>On 18 July 1944, during a strategy conference in the Wolfsschanze,[6] a fly began buzzing around the room, allegedly landing on Hitler's shoulder and on the surface of a map several times. Irritated, Hitler ordered Darges to dispatch the nuisance.
>Darges suggested that, as it was an airborne pest, the job should go to the Luftwaffe adjutant
>Hitler took Darges aside, dismissed him on the spot and had him transferred to the Eastern Front
Hitler can't take the bants

Sir Winton Turnbull: "I am a country member!"
Gough Whitlam: "I remember."

>To the German commander: "NUTS" - The American commander

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>>3252274
B T F O

>>3251624
Triboulet was an awesome bastard.

>Triboulet once came to the Monarch with a complaint.
>Triboulet: "A noble has threatened to hang me!"
>The Monarch: "Don't worry! If he hangs you I'll have him beheaded fifteen minutes later."
>Triboulet: "Well, would it be possible to behead him 15 minutes before?"

>Having broken an order from Francis I forbidding Triboulet from making jokes on the queen and courtesans, the king ordered that he should be put to death. Having served particularly well the king for many years, Francis I granted Triboulet the right to choose the way he would die. Triboulet, with his sharp mind, said the following: "Bon sire, par sainte Nitouche et saint Pansard, patrons de la folie, je demande à mourir de vieillesse." which translates to: "Sir, for Saint Nitouche's and Saint Pansard's sake, patrons of insanity, I choose to die from old age." Having no other choice than to laugh, the king ordered that Triboulet must not be executed, but rather instead be banished from the realm.

>>3252274
Wew, amazing line.

>>3252040
It's the best part of the joke, brother

>>3252496
>and the crick in our dick
lost

>>3251591
hearty kek

>>3252568

The spartan king still died like badass though

>>3254405
>Predicts America will colonize Eastern Europe
Chomsky is a hack

>>3252496
>>3252496
it is even better if you read Mehmed's initial letter, as it is parodied
>Sultan Mehmed IV to the Zaporozhian Cossacks:
>As the Sultan; son of Muhammad; brother of the sun and moon; grandson and viceroy of God; ruler of the kingdoms of Macedonia, Babylon, Jerusalem, Upper and Lower Egypt; emperor of emperors; sovereign of sovereigns; extraordinary knight, never defeated; steadfast guardian of the tomb of Jesus Christ; trustee chosen by God Himself; the hope and comfort of Muslims; confounder and great defender of Christians - I command you, the Zaporogian Cossacks, to submit to me voluntarily and without any resistance, and to desist from troubling me with your attacks.

>>3255177
Sounds like the guy who shits himself at the theatre and pees on people can't handle bants.

Thank you for sending me to Wikipedia, but I'd rather you tell me his great philosophy. I'm sure you read all his texts, or did people throw them out and focus on preserving Plato's works?

I might just post as anon in the future, just seemed like it would cause confusion about who is who.

>>3256423
His ethics are some serious shit, more practical than Plato's ethics. All of his actions are related to freedom. He do wacky shit becasu he refuse effects of other's opinions on his actions. I don't defend that it is right, but he is more than a amusing mad man.

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Sherman to the city of Atlanta, 1 month before he went in and roasted it a second time

>You have heretofore read public sentiment in your newspapers, that live by falsehood and excitement; and the quicker you seek for truth in other quarters, the better. I repeat then that, by the original compact of government, the United States had certain rights in Georgia, which have never been relinquished and never will be; that the South began the war by seizing forts, arsenals, mints, custom-houses, etc., etc., long before Mr. Lincoln was installed, and before the South had one jot or tittle of provocation. I myself have seen in Missouri, Kentucky, Tennessee, and Mississippi, hundreds and thousands of women and children fleeing from your armies and desperadoes, hungry and with bleeding feet. In Memphis, Vicksburg, and Mississippi, we fed thousands and thousands of the families of rebel soldiers left on our hands, and whom we could not see starve. Now that war comes to you, you feel very different. You deprecate its horrors, but did not feel them when you sent car-loads of soldiers and ammunition, and moulded shells and shot, to carry war into Kentucky and Tennessee, to desolate the homes of hundreds and thousands of good people who only asked to live in peace at their old homes, and under the Government of their inheritance. But these comparisons are idle. I want peace, and believe it can only be reached through union and war, and I will ever conduct war with a view to perfect an early success.

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>>3252274
Good heavens, the savages are onto us.

>>3252274
I've heard this same remark in at least two different dialogues.

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>>3252312

>>3251674
kek

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>It appears that Shortly after we had peace with England Mr (Ethan) Allen had occasion to visit England, and while their the English took Great pleasure in teasing him, and trying to Make fun of the Americans and General Washington in particular and one day they got a picture of General Washington, and hung it up the Back House where Mr Allen Could see it and they finally asked Mr A if he saw that picture of his friend in the Back House.
>Mr Allen said no. but said he thought that it was a very appropriate for an Englishman to Keep it Why they asked, for said Mr Allen their is Nothing that Will Make an Englishman Shit So quick as the Sight of Genl Washington And after that they let Mr Allens Washington alone

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poor nicki only wanted to grow corn

>>3258022
ouch

>>3255320
Just because it wasn't on the Greek mainland doesn't mean it wasn't greek

>>3255320
>>3255322
It was invented by Perillos of Athens. Kill yourself.

>>3255414
NUTS means not understanding terms of surrender, not really "BTFO"

>>3252350
He really was the first /b/tard

>>3258096
>le brainlet backronym meme

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>>3252274

>>3257991
This might have been a good burn if this story was actually coherent

>>3255359
fucking kek

>>3252646
>you will never get together with your mates and brainstorm insults to throw at a turkish sultan

Would love to hear the inults that got rejected.
How about we just shout "NO YOU!"
Lets call them cucks
Lets call then nazis,they'll get it after awhile.

>>3258110
>le redditor not knowing what the fuck he's talking about

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>>3252312
What a chap

>>3256210

>implying they didn't

>>3252860
A long winded answer from a fool full of hot air, as expected

>>3252858
This very same story is told by some Greekfag about a Persian battle, where the Persians began retreating (I think from the Medes), only to encounter their women in the camps whereupon they said the exact same thing to them.

>Ethan Allen (1738-1789) was a Revolutionary War hero who “had occasion to visit England” shortly after peace was declared. During this trip, Allen’s British hosts pelted him with jokes about “Americans and General Washington in particular and one day they got a picture of General Washington” which was conspicuously hung up in an outhouse. Though he couldn’t have missed this painting, Allen never mentioned it. Eventually, the Brits asked if he’d spotted Washington’s likeness in the privy. Allen had, and added, “it was a very appropriate [place] for an Englishman to keep it … there is nothing that will make an Englishman shit so quick as the sight of Genl. Washington.”

As told by Lincoln:
>[While riding a train,] I was once accosted … by a stranger, who said, "Excuse me, sir, but I have an article in my possession which rightfully belongs to you." "How is that?" I asked, considerably astonished. The stranger took a jackknife from his pocket. "This knife," said he, "was placed in my hands some years ago with the injunction that I was to keep it until I found a man uglier than myself. I have carried it from that time to this. Allow me now to say, sir, that I think you are fairly entitled to the property.”

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>>3252077

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>>3252274
>the Duke of Wellington attended a party in Vienna, some French officers turned away from the conqueror of Napoleon. When a woman apologized for their rudeness, Wellington replied "I have seen their backs before, madam."

>>3258744
And I suppose "fuck" means forced unlawful carnal knowledge?

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>>3251393

>>3251591
Isn't pharsalus pompay?

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"if Heaven is where the Christians go, I'd rather go to Hell"

>>3254405
>bottom-left, top-right

why does Slavjoz look like Mark Hamill with a beard?

>>3259294
ii think you should look at that picture more closely

>>3259229
You're missing the point desu http://www.businessinsider.com/general-mcauliffe-nuts-bastogne-2013-12

>>3258402
Obviously it is written in the style of the Author, [sic], mannerisms, run-on sentances and abbreviations included. Allow me to repair your autism.

>"It appears that shortly after we had peace with England Mr. (Ethan) Allen had occasion to visit. While there the English took great pleasure in teasing him and trying to make fun of Americans, General Washington in particular.
>One day, they got a picture of General Washington, and hung it up in the Back House [toilet] where Mr. Allen could see it, and at length they asked Mr. Allen if he saw 'that picture of his friend'.
>Mr. Allen said no, but added that he thought it was very appropriate for an Englishman to keep it there. When asked why, he replied that 'there is nothing that will make an Englishman shit so quick as the sight of General Washington.' After that, they let [left] Mr. Allens and Washington alone.

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>>3259300
never mind.

>>3259303
what is this supposed to prove

>>3259303
The only thing I'm missing is how that article is supposed to support that backronym horseshit. Are you so confident you didn't read the article or are you just backpedalling and trying to set up passing it off as just a ruse by shitting out a bunk source?

Posting lesser known Churchill memes

On Lord Charles Beresford, Admiral and Member of Parliament:
>"He is one of those orators of whom it was well said; 'before they get up, they do not know what they are going to say;when they are speaking, they do not know what they are saying; and when they have sat down, they do not know what they have said'"

On Clement Atlee, Prime Minister:
>"An empty taxi arrived at 10 Downing Street [Residence of the British Prime Minister], and when the door was opened, Atlee got out"

>"I wish Stanley Baldwin no ill, but it would have been much better if he had never lived"

A conversation with Lady Astor, first female Member of Parliament:
>Ast: "If you were my husband, I would poison your coffee"
>Ch: "If you were my wife, I'd drink it"

>>3256423
I remember reading somewhere that diogenes was considered the father of Cynicism.

>>3259343
Hey, have you heard of the online social networking site known as reddit.com? It's a place where all sorts of people with a similar mental capacity to you can get together and discuss their favorite subjects. I think you'll really feel at home there, please check it out and tell me what you think

>>3259379
I thought that was Krates

>>3259406
For somebody telling another poster to gb2 reddit you haven't seemed to grasp that the anonymous culture of 4chan means if you are too much of a bitch to admit to being a gullible retard you can simply cease replying and melt into the background, rather than throwing a tantrum in a misguided attempt to defend your honour.

>Rochester's enemy Lord Halifax called for an inquiry into Rochester's stewardship of the finances and it was found that £40,000 had been lost by mismanagement. As a consequence Rochester was, in August 1684, removed from office and given the post Lord President of the Council, a more dignified but less lucrative and important office.

>Halifax said: "I have seen people kicked down stairs but my Lord Rochester is the first person that I ever saw kicked up stairs".

>>3259466
>implying anyone on this site has any semblance of honor
And I wasn't telling you to return to reddit, I was merely advising that you check out the website because I think you'll have a blast there

>>3259466
Go back to Facebook, newfag

>>3259262
Brutus and Cicero surrendered to Caesar after that battle

>>3255359
hmm, I'm beginning to lose respect for Hitler

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>>3251393
The mad man did it

Ironically the leftists are repeating his tactics today

>>3251624

BUONAS DIAS MONARCH

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>William of Malmesbury's humorous anecdote illustrates both the character of Eriugena and the position he occupied at the Frankish court. The king, sitting across from Eriugena, asked "Quid distat inter sottum et Scottum?" (What separates a drunkard from an Irishman?), Eriugena replied, "Tabula tantum" (Only a table)

>>3259365
>On Clement Atlee, Prime Minister:
>>"An empty taxi arrived at 10 Downing Street [Residence of the British Prime Minister], and when the door was opened, Atlee got out"
This is kinda dumb though, Attlee was the best prime minister Britain ever had and certainly superior to Churchill.

>>3258960
napoopants btfo

>>3255583
god damn that's one smart man

>>3258824
If it wasn't for France and Spain Washington's head would've decorated a spike.

>>3257320
This is a burn? Looks like Sherman's threats to defenseless civilians while Gen Johnston's Army of Tennessee was doing something up north.

>>3252479
Only missing the retort "Yes", said Diogenes, "If I were not Diogenes, I would wish to be Diogenes."

>>3260899
Churchill was just butthurt about proles getting to power.Dorfaue Ronda

>>3259492
And so a trend was born and its now the status quo! Provided you start off in management that is. Incomeptent workers still get kicked down

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>>3257320
Despite his anxiety and depression, a lot like Lincoln's anxiety and depression, Sherman had a position of such importance, he rose too the occasion after coming out of treatment like the madman he was. I know a lot of southerners who for some reason idolize the confederacy get butt-blasted by him, but when you read his diary or letters it was as if he was sent by God himself to reconcile the injustices of both sides. I am so happy we are one nation. I just hope the fringe left and right will one day recognize how lucky they are to operate in one of if not the greatest collection of men and women to inherit the West.
>Inb4 yankee cuck or whatever

>>3261347
Forgot to add
>the face when no triple biopic with Sherman played by eastwood, Grant by John goodman, and Lincoln left to DD Lewis of course

>>3261401
Fuxk, even better would be confederate general X and Sherman with scenes bouncing back and forth.

>>3261347
>Reconciling both sides by burning down cities that disagreed with his side
Truly an American hero.

>>3251795
Sandwich is a place. Sandwiches are named after one of its earls, who had the idea of putting the bread around the meat. (I'm sure someone else had probably used this method before but didn't get the credit as they weren't aristocracy.)

>>3261443
I wish you read a bit more about him. I know that's asking a lot here. I don't worship the fucking guy. His story is fascinating. Anon, I...
Just want you to read about him. I think if you like history you will like him as a good representation of the duality of man.

>>3261472
>M-muh depression! M-muh moral conflicts!
Intentions and feelings mean nothing. Words and actions are the only way to determine someone's moral worth. If someone talks and acts like a faggot, they're a faggot no matter what they think about themselves. If someone burns down a city, they're an arsonist no matter what their diaries say.

>>3252487
Hi Pierre! See >>3252312 and then go and buy some soap please.

>>3261520
Im not even the guy youre replying to, but your post reeks of butthurt.

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>>3261606
Not at all, projecto-tron. Im (sic) chilling with my dinner.

>>3261472
>I don't worship the fucking guy.
>>3261347
>it was as if he was sent by God himself to reconcile the injustices of both sides

>>3261461
Whirrun of Bligh did the same, but he didn't have a catchy name

>>3252782
>>3252496
>>3252630
>>3252646
>>3252730
>>3252798
>>3255915
It's an obvious fake you dumbasses.

No one has heard about this letter until the late 19th century where "totally authentic guise" late 18th century copy of the letter surfaced among artists desperate to create a Ukrainian national identity. The "letter" and the paining are contemporaries...

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What a goofball

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>>3262005

Sounds like a Monthy Python skit.

>>3262081
Sounds like psychotic sociopath using a government appartus to torment a single person for shit and giggles.

>>3252274
how can one man be so based

>>3252669
>In an account from Herodotus, "When the banished Samians reached Sparta, they had audience of the magistrates, before whom they made a long speech, as was natural with persons greatly in want of aid." When it was over, the Spartans averred that they could no longer remember the first half of their speech, and thus "...could make nothing of the remainder. Afterwards the Samians had another audience, whereat they simply said, showing a bag which they had brought with them, 'The bag wants flour.' The Spartans answered that they did not need to have said 'the bag'; however, they resolved to give them aid."

>>3258022
revisionists eternally btfo

>>3261985
t. Mehmet Hurkadurkoglu

>>3252312
>the Marshals of France whom he had so resoundingly beaten in previous campaigns

so in this fever dream he's having

>>3258022
Absolutely SAVAGE.

>>3263780
it was banter, get over it

>>3261985
This. It's a fairly obvious fabrication.

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>"His poor marksmanship must be taken into account. We have just won the most terrible war in history, yet here is a Frenchman who misses his target 6 out of 7 times at point-blank range. Of course, this fellow must be punished for the careless use of a dangerous weapon and for poor marksmanship. I suggest that he be locked up for eight years, with intensive training in a shooting gallery."
>Clémenceau, arguing against seeking the death penalty for the anarchist who had attempted to assassinate him on 19 February 1919, shooting at him seven times and hitting him only once in the chest


>Referring to his rival Raymond Poincaré, "There are only two perfectly useless things in this world. One is an appendix. The other is Poincaré."

>America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilization.

> He is a self made man and worships his creator.
Disraeli on John Bright.
Disraeli has best bants in Britain. Prove me wrong.

>>3261461
Fun fact: A descendant of the Earl is still alive, is the current Earl of Sandwich, and runs a semi-successful sandwich chain called Earl of Sandwich.

>>3255359
>>3262005
wtf, I hate Hitler now

>>3263780
Just a prank bro

>>3264283
>America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilization.
Savage and true.

>>3257991
Don't bother posting when you're drunk please.

>>3263780
And they say the Germans have no sense of humour.

>>3252274
Just put that on my book

>>3264375
>The difference between a misfortune and a calamity is this: If Gladstone fell into the Thames, it would be a misfortune. But if someone dragged him out again, that would be a calamity.

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Most honored captain Pasha, I have carefully read your words, and that of the captain which you have imprisoned through lie and betrayal of your word, signed under your name; which you have done because you are no man, for you have no balls, you are like a lying woman and a fool. How do you intend to pact with me, if you committed betrayal and falsity right before my eyes? For I take you in no account, for you are a traitor like a Jew. When I saw your armada, I feared you could do me harm; but now I am assured, for like a Jew you lie, so did those who took Rhodes and Belgrade. If in the Island of Rhodes were the knights that are in this pig-sty you could be assured that you would have not conquered it. You are to learn that here are Portuguese, used to killing many Moors and are commanded by António da Silveira that has a pair of balls stronger than the balls of your canons and that all the Portuguese here have balls and do not fear those who don’t have them no honor and lies like a Jew. The pen before you has such cattle that already you are scared and arranging a pact to betray; such pact, should I accept it, these knights would throw me at sea, and defend it themselves.

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>>3263780

Get back in your grave Hanfstaengl.

>>3251591
> a womans role always suited you best
Shieeeet

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Hilbert:
>... I am astonished that a mathematician should doubt that the principle of excluded middle is strictly valid as a mode of inference. I am even more astonished that, as it seems, a whole community of mathematicians who do the same has so constituted itself. I am most astonished by the fact that even in mathematical circles the power of suggestion of a single man, however full of temperament and inventiveness, is capable of having the most improbable and eccentric effects.
Brouwer:
>... formalism has received nothing but benefactions from intuitionism and may expect further benefactions. The formalistic school should therefore accord some recognition to intuitionism, instead of polemicizing against it in sneering tones, while not even observing proper mention of authorship.

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>Karaiskakis was no less rugged or uneducated than his fellow-soldiers were; yet, even amongst these rugged men, he was notorious for his loose tongue and the brazen torrents of obscenities he uttered. Thus, in late April-early May of 1823, while addressing the messenger of the silihtar* Boda, the Albanian general who was at the time organising a corps of 5000 Moslem Albanians in an Ottoman attack on the Greek forces of central Greece, he said:

>"Come on, you shitty Turk... Come on you Jew, you pawn of the gypsies... Fuck your faith and your Mohammed. What did you think, you cuckolds... you should be ashamed to ask us sign a treaty with such a shitty Sultan Mahmud. I shit on him and your vezir and that Jew silihtar Boda, the whore.

>>3252274
Will perfidious Albion ever recover?

>>3261401
>Sherman
>Eastwood
Might as well have Michael Moore play Ronald Regan you cuck

>>3258714
"You're the puppet! You're the puppet!"

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>>3268015
>shits on Turks, Jews and Islam
>calls them cucks
>uses words that could be considered sexist and homophobic by today's standards
>all in one sentence

>>3268391
/ourguy/

>>3251393
Dionysius I may have been a shit poet but he did oversee the creation of numerous key advances in siege weaponry which were then copied by other greeks and the romans

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>>3258816
At least they didn't kill their own fucking troops. Celts really were barbarians.

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>>3251393