Stede Bonnet

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Everything about this poor guy is funny.
>richfag plantation owner from Barbados
>so obsessed with pirates he decides to LARP as one
>builds himself a sloop called Revenge (lel)
>literally zero experience in sailing, zero control over his crew he previously paid in gold to join him
>on their first voyage they encounter a big-ass Spanish man-o'-war
>for some reason the tiny sloop proceeds to attack it
>they get absolutely destroyed, Bonnet is wounded, half of his crew killed
>somehow manage to drag themselves to Nassau
>meets Blackbeard in Nassau, hands control of his ship to him since he can't command for shit
>meanwhile his entire crew abandons him and joins Blackbeard
>Bonnet is now practically held hostage by Blackbeard
>sometime later Blackbeard lets him go with his ship out of pure pity
>In the meantime the Crown also starts feeling sorry for him and offers him a pardon for his "piracy"
>Bonnet wants to recieve pardon but also to continue being a pirate
>goes under false name
>is finally captured by the authorities in Carolina
>death by hanging
>on his way to the gallows he begs for mercy, cries like a child
>offers to cut his own legs and arms so that he never again commits piracy
>the scene is so emotional it moves to tears everyone watching the hanging
>nope.jpg
>ded
Absolute madman