Who here is /warrobot/?

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>Be me, 16 years old
>1862, Battle of Shiloh
>General Beauregard tells us to prepare for battle
>My lieutenant is pissed, wanted to spend the next few days in the next town over fucking prostitutes
>Says he'd take me along
>Been thinking about it all week, the closest I've seen a naked woman is when the wind blew open the outhouse door when my aunt was in it
>Start marching into battle
>Hear Grant's army over the hill
>We line up, take aim and fire
>Lieutenant is hit in the gut, tells me to stay strong as he dies
>Fuck
>Reload my musket, some gunpowder falls out into my wrist
>Before I can aim I'm hit in the chest
>Mfw the closest I'd ever get to a vagina is the niter from the gunpowder that probably came from the sweet urine of a young southern girl