If you could assassinate one historical figure, who would it be?

Myself

Hegel.
Brother-man derailed philosophy.

>>3024819
the motherfucker who first introduced the male pattern baldness gene into the genome.
was an unknown historical figure for that one fact.

Henry Harrington - great, great grandfather's journal has something in it about this motherfucker being a swindling jackanape.

>>3024819
Franz Ferdinand before he became Archduke.

>>3024819
Hitler, his crimes are what caused the west to become "progressive"

>>3024819
Yeshua Bar Yosef

>>3024819
Arminius, the barbarian scoundrel.

>>3024831
This.

If possible, I'd do Marx, Engels, Lenin, and Reagan too just to be sure.

Cain

>>3024819
none you fucking idiot that would ruin history as we know it

>>3026179
>prevent anyone in this thread from being born
>ruin history

pick1

>>3024823

>>3026179
>kill OP to stop this thread from happening
>bad

Mao Zedong, slightly before the Long March happened. Not even a Mao hater, I just wonder what shit would've been like, if it changes anything at all.

>>3024819
Adam

>>3026299
>Killing Adam and leaving Eve
Bro, she's jus going to feed the apple to and fuck a Homo Eructus or something and make a race of hideous half-ape people. Kill Eve so Adam is stuck jerking off and fucking early hominids after he eats the apple because apes just give birth to more apes while Eve gives birth to quasi-humans.

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>>3024819
>If you could assassinate one historical figure, who would it be?

The author of the Pentateuch. I don't tolerate people who put themselves between me and my gods.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hf5lxaVrUgA

>>3026229
Fuck you

>>3026229
Pls no bully charles

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>kill France
>prevent WWI and II

Einstein

Marx or Muhammad.

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Mugabe

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>>3024819
brutus

>>3026229
delet this

>>3026505
this too

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>>3024819
Dr Carl Weiss

The bronze age sheep fucker who decided to prank his neighbours with fairytales about the guy who turned water to wine.

>>3026566
>Jesus of Nazareth
>Bronze Age

>>3026166
This

Khrushchev.
The biggest liar in the world.

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>>3024819
This fucker right here

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This Macedonian cocksucker

>>3024819
Moses, and if he didn't exist, then whoever it was who started Judaism
>No more Jews
>No more Christianity
>No more Islam

the first Semite.

>>3026875
>we'd all be worshiping machine elves

>>3026891
>not wanting to worship machine elves?

Enrico Dandolo

>>3024819
Mohammad. I honestly don't hate islam, but it really, really wasn't good for European history. It gave a way for Arabian tribes to unify, which bled out Byzantium, and once it fell, Turks destroyed the Balkans and harmed a great deal of central Europe which was forced to fight them. The Turks were a fucking scourge for the area.

>>3028000
>It gave a way for Arabian tribes to unify, which bled out Byzantium, and once it fell, Turks destroyed the Balkans
Just to clarify, I don't mean to imply that Turks came after Byzantium fell. I know full well about the Seljuks. I'm saying that Byzantium could have held its ground far better if it wasn't bled dry from centuries of fighting Arabs.

>>3026281
You're wondering if his next in command fully grasped his ideas for war? I think support for the revolution would have survived without him, but it's hard to say if the rest of the leadership would have managed things as skillfully. They didn't have a similar revolution to use for an example. They were the example.
I would bet things unfold similarly, but I don't think Mao had written much down about war yet, so who knows.

>>3028000
>want a corrupt decaying rump roman state to continue existing

you byzaboos are fucking sad

>>3024819
Lenin

Jesus Christ

>>3026518
Oh please, if Mugabe died, the Communists would have found some other bloodthirsty asshole.

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>>3024819

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>>3028088
Thanks for that, laughed out loud.

>>3028088
I'm not a Byzaboo.

Leon Trotsky in 1918
>Bolshevik military collapses
>White army crushes the Reds and either reestablishes the monarchy or institutes a right wing republic
>the leaders of the October Revolution are all either executed or run away to other European countries
>no German revolution
>no Hungarian revolution
>no Hitler
>no WW2
>world peace

>>3028000
But Islam was great for European history. It practically helped define it even. Considering how steppe invasions continuously washed over Eastern Europe since Atilla, it's not really Muhammad at fault for that.

Publius Cornelius Scipio

Or since I'm time traveling I might just give Hannibal a shit ton of modern weapons.

>>3024819
Saint Paul is up there

>>3028371
t.shlomo

>>3026229
sstop

>>3026530
what the fuck would that accomplish, might aswell travel back in time and assassinate caesars hairdresser

>>3028259
Well
There goes the modern world

Adam

Muhammad, So I could get a Zoroastrian or Christian Persia and a strong Byzantium, not to mention how different the Middle East and North Africa would be culturally without any Arabization

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this ratbag

>>3024819
Jesus Chist

>>3024819
Moses

>>3024819
Mao Zedong
I could assassinate Kim Il Sung but the Eternal Chink is the one that is responsible for how the Korean War played out and how my country is divided.
Fuck all Chinese people.

>>3024819
Gorbachev

>>3024819
Kaiser Willy

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Henry Kissinger
>made democrats and republicans both more warr hungry bastards than they already were.
Winston Churchill
>starved India and encouraged antisoviet aggression, helping to lead to the cold war
Friedrich Ebert
>killed leftist revolutionaries but enabled a fascist takeover

>>3028909
What kind of lube do you use when America constantly fucks you up the ass?

Fidel Castro

>inb4 butthurt exile

I'm actually South American. The Cuban Revolution fucked the entire continent.

FDR

John Calvin
To crush marxsism you have to reach down to its roots

>>3028164
>World peace
Yeah fucking right. It's world peace right up until the expanding Japanese empire steps on the wrong colonies (probably the Philippines, then held by Americans if I remember right, or maybe French holding in the southeast. Or, hell, just invading a colony someone else wanted first, like taking Manchuria before the Russians got it, colonialism doesn't magically stop because Europe itself is at peace)

Adam, to spare us all from suffering.

Cristobal Colon

>>3024819
Muhammed

>>3024823
was gonna post that

nice

>>3026229
Literally like ummm Fuck off

>>3028594
fuck off he was the final nail in the coffin of ceaser

>>3026555
Hmm

Huey Long had already lost power by the time of his murder. Unless he somehow became president I doubt his survival would have turned America into the progressive utopia he wanted to build.

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>>3024819

>>3026898
>not being a machine elf

>>3028895
>t. Eamon de Valera

>>3024819
Moses. With out him Jews would stay in Egypt, and Judaism, Christianity, Islam do not appear

Mugabe

>>3024819
Adolf Hitler

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>>3024819
before the 1912 election, clearing the way for a Bullmoose victory

>>3024819
le corbusier

Plato. Because fuck society.

>>3026229
UUUUHHHHHHHHHHH

>>3031050
Why would you kill an innocent man who did literally nothing wrong?

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>>3031125

>>3026166
Dubs of truth.

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>>3024819
Mt.vesuvius
>Saving Pompeii

>>3028973
T. Zhang

>>3031071
so much this, the fed reserve has ruined the country and caused the great depression 15 years later, and he"s partly responsible for the rise of the ussr. if only teddy did not run we would have had a 2nd taft term instead. he"s in my opinion the single worse president.

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>>3024819
This cunt.

>>3031071
This Horse-blinded Huntington Post journalist of a president ruined the country for all time.

Definitely him.

>>3028011
>I'm saying that Byzantium could have held its ground far better if it wasn't bled dry from centuries of fighting Arabs.

but arabs didn't fight the bizzies much. took them and the zoros by surprise and robbed their lands pretty fast, then got many minor states in between them as anatolia collapsed

>>3028106
would have changed nothing.

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>>3026229
FUCK you

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>>3026163
Reagan a cute! Cute!

>>3024819
Mother Mary, slut.

>>3026229
What did he do to you, anon?