can someone help explain the Crimean war to me?

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>>2983756
Crimea you say?

cathocucks and protofags ganging up with muslims agains the one true church

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>>2983756

Their prosecutors are gorgeous.

>>2983756
>Russia and Ottomans have been fighting forever
>war breaks out again
>at the same time, there are autistic arguments going on in Israel about Orthodox vs Catholic vs Protestant control over some shrine or something retarded like that
>thus Catholic France and Sardinia and Protestant Britain cook up religious reasons to fight Russia
>really it was balance-of-power bullshit
>Britain and France do most of the fighting, thus the Ottomans "win"

I've left out the part about A-H and Romania, but that's largely a sideshow.

Britain feared that Russian Empire will become too strong. We were getting closer to Turkey, the goal of Romanovs was to destroy it and re-establish Byzantine with some of their relatives (both ours or foreign) in charge. It was basically the purpose of their family for centuries. Not a very smart idea and our foreign policy since Peter was retarded beyond all lines.

>>2983770
how a sideshow?

>>2983784
They weren't involved in the actual fighting.

OP here again. what was the commanders deals with unnecessary attacks? Was it more autism?

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>>2983756

Crimea was considered key for the control of the Black Sea.

The Anglo reasoning was along the lines of:
>the kebabs are weak but easily influentiable/cuckable/manipulatable by us
>the russians are getting strong and don't bend over to us
>if the russians btfo of kebabs in Crimea they'll have a strategic place from where to build a fleet
>if so, they would eventually be in a position to threaten Constantinople and the straits
>if they remove kebab from the Constantinopolitan premises and or bully them into submission, they'll get access to the east med
>if they they get access to the east med they get le warm harbor and strategic bases
>if they get that, they become a potential maritime power
>muh seajuden empire is at risk
>we must into activate war

French reasoning was more along the lines of muh grandeur muh regain prestige and muh revenge against Russia after being sidelined from the international arena since the Congress of Vienna.

>>2983756
The most interesting aspect, which I haven't found enough reading on, are that this was the turning point of naval warfare.

Think of being on a regular age of sail line of battle ship, and some ironclad steam-powered motherfucker with exploding incendiary shot comes in and fucks you with one volley while deflecting your weak-ass rounds.

Naval rape.

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I think this sort of sums it up, close enough.