>woked up in 1933 >Be Adolf Hitler >wat do?

don't attack russia

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>>2881940

>>2881940
>walks on stage to speak
>locks eyes with a girl in the front row
>overcome with immense fear
>runs off stage crying

>>2881940
Don't attack Poland. Try to make good relations with the various right-wing dictators throughout Europe.

>>2881940
wish you would make better threads

>>2881940
shave the moustache immediately and not be a megalomaniac.

>>2881963
Other than Franco and Mussolini (which he did), who else?

>>2882020
Oswald Mosley

>>2881940
Take some pictures of yourself nude with a boner!

>>2881940
Follow the Hitler's Last order: Nero Decree.

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Not be a cuck

>>2881940
Go around and restore all the German monarchies. Burn Nazi ideology meme-writings. Become a good Catholic. Ask nicely for Danzig back. Be nice to Poland.

>>2882028

lol

>>2881940
Invest heavily in the navy

>>2881940
Invade Czechoslovakia and Austria but not Poland.

But what should be done about the ewige anglo?

Convert Germany to English/anglo

>>2881950
>2033 AD
>Hitler

Dismantle Nazi Party and hand over Germany to the KPD

>>2882297
He may have been cucked but he had superior Aryan facial structure which is superior to anything in earth.

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Trade Slovakia for Danzig and go for the alliance with the USSR.

>>2881940
let my generals do everything and not be a retard

>>2881940
>tone down & eventually drop anti-semitism in favor of purely anti-Bolshevism. More palatable for the rest of Europe.
>expand the Autobahn program to a general infrastructure revitalization program
>offer to expand the program to France, Belgium, Netherlands etc. on Germany's dime in exchange for reduced/canceled reparations for that amount of time. Work to normalize relations (or decrease enmity) with France & Germany.
>when von Hindenburg croaks, have another moderate like von Papen become President (with reduced powers, of course) to at least maintain the illusion of democracy.
>move up the Night of the Long Knives. Take out the SA leaders (Röhm, the Strasser brothers), as well as Heydrich, Himmler, Eichmann, and Kaltenbrunner. Those guys creep me the fuck out.
>get permission for an Autobahn extension across the Danzig corridor in exchange for arms shipments & German training for the Polish army. Sign the non-aggression pact.
>become friends with Karlis Ulmanis (why is he so based?), Mannerheim, and the other Baltic & Finnish leaders. Form alliances with them in exchange for putting German troops in their countries.
>send military aid & volunteers to the Francoists in Spain. Play up ties with the Catholic Church to get on his good side. Don't bomb civilians, at least so we don't have to endure as much modern art.
>Don't bother allying with Mussolini, or at least try and contain his douchebaggery. Support the Pope when possible to keep all the Catholics happy.
>encourage peaceful plebiscites in Austria & the Sudetenland over annexation. Ensure a fair and free election (well, fair enough that the results go our way).
>build up the Kriegsmarine under the condition that they don't leave the Baltic, all to stop Communism of course.
>don't bother re-militarizing the Rhineland because all our enemies are to the East.
>the moment the Soviets try some weird shit, go to war. They're still reeling from the Purges, so it'll be easy.
>center the goddamn flag.

>>2881940
kill self

>call up Stalin and split Poland while the Bongs and Frogs are still in full-cuck mode.
>invade Czechoslavakia the same way the OTL went down.
>call for "free" elections in Austria concerning the Anschluss
>scrap plans for battleships in favor of aircraft carriers.
>tone down anti-semitism, Final Solution to the Jewish Question being deportation to anywhere that'll take them
>make alliances with Baltic states and Finland in preparation for the inevitable Soviet chimp out
>restore German/Austrian/Czech nobility.

>>2881940
legalize same sex marriage
invite Namibians, Kenyans, Ugandans to Germany
invest into renewable energy
disband the military

>>2881940
I decide to not do autistic shit like lebensraum and the holocaust
Also i would have Himmler shot for his ultra-autism

>>2881940
Sign pacts with Poland and tell them we take the Baltic states you take Ukraine
Oh yeah and stop persecuting tax paying citizens

>>2882927
>offer to expand the program to France, Belgium, Netherlands etc. on Germany's dime in exchange for reduced/canceled reparations for that amount of time. Work to normalize relations (or decrease enmity) with France & Germany.

Why do fucking stormfags always ignore the lausanne conference?

>don't declare war on Russia
>scrap lebensraum policy
>scrap anti semitic policy
>land and industrial reform, bring in foreign assistance if needed
>lend lease with Italy
>fire Goering
>unfuck chain of command
>get a foreign investment low key
>wait for Soviet invasion

>>2881940
Kill myself

>>2881940

Start building the Maus tanks early so I can use them to win the war.

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>>2881940
Don't invade Poland and just be happy with the territories I just got from Austria and Czhechoslovakia. Make a big coalition against the Soviet Union in the meanwhile, trying to get the UK, France and Poland in my team. Once that is done, invade the Soviet Union, create a Lebensraum in the East and expel all Jews from Europe (even if the UK doesn't like it, they can't do shit anymore.

Abandon all dreams of conquest.
Build roads.

>>2883652
That way they'd just become like every other western NATO-aligned country.

His best bet would be to align with Slavs, and thus become a good counterpart against the British and US.

>>2881940
Invade Italy

Transform into an anaconda.

>>2881940
Expel the Jews from Germany and redistribute their wealth, wait until the bolsheviks try to take over Europe, and then ally with the USA to be on the winning side of WWII.
Start WWIII/Cold War after we win against Russia, fight over claims of the territory we've won, and die in a nuclear holocaust.

Double down on trying to build atomic weapons and bomb the shit out of USA and Russia

take meth and masturbate furiously and take morphine for the comedown

>>2882020
Man, literally every country in Europe was right-wing/ anti-liberal authoritarian regime. Horty in Hungary, Franco in Spain, Salazar in Portugal, Mussolini in Italy, the Yugoslav and Romanian Kingdom, ecc..

>>2883850
Were liberals a thing back then? If so, were they like modern lefties or just slightly more liberal than right wingers?

>>2882607
>hehehe I just got gang raped by a bunch of niggers but at least I still got my aryan facial structure

>>2883356
Merkel get out

>>2883569
>>2883316
>>2882927

At which point you are not Nazis anymore, you are roleplaying as an anti-soviet Social Democrat ala Adenauer with a German unification agenda.

>>2884803
>implying there's something wrong with being Adenauer

>I do not have the charisma to get elected

>>2881950
>Jesus crucified throught the palms

>>2884803
>implying there's something good about being a Nazi

>>2885382
they have a lot of structure and require people to join in on the culture. The nazi's, not the neonazi fuckers from /pol/

>>2883415
Because it failed ?

>>2883642
Were they really useful ? I heard they were a very slow and expensive piece of trash that you could blow with a landmine.

Turn myself in for orchestrating Night of the Long Knives and allow the NSDAP to be actually socialist.

>>2881940
Anschluss but don't take anything else, try to ally with the britsh against the commies. Expel the jewry as peacefully as possible

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>>2881940
put my seed in her belly

>>2885100
>>2885382

Nothing wrong with Adenauer, arguably the finest Western European leader of his time.

However, what that anon wanted was too far out of the blue for the Nazis, it would require a paradigm change that goes against everything they did up to that point. Maybe not even Hitler has the political control to do that.

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>>2885539
They were just an overengineered waste of resources that was too heavy to cross bridges and would've broken down all the time

Definitely not a war-winning weapon

>>2882623
Hire democratic minister, join the allies. Do everything the same but britian and france are alright with you taking all of yurope.

>>2881940
Do everything the same up to 1938 stop.

>>2882599
>whenever someone says 2000 years THEY MEAN EXACTLY 2000 YEARS NO POSSIBILITY OF ROUNDING UP OR EXAGGERATION IN A COMIC STRIP
found hitler

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>>2881940
Liberate the world, under the banner of nationsl socialism.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GPKH4GHiihg

>begin to restore the aristocracy
>ally with the West to destroy communism

>>2881940
>tone down and eventually remove all the lesser races/lebensraum/anti-semitism crap
>work on Making Germany Great Again through peaceful economic means
>try to mend ways with France, UK, Poland et al
>promote European unity in the face of the Soviet threat
>push for an EU-esque structure on right-wing grounds (unified European heritage and identity, European destiny in European hands, fuck the Soviets)
>when Stalin inevitably chimps out over something (probably Poland) work on getting a large coalition to oppose him, preferably getting all the great powers on one side
>carve up USSR Trianon-style

>it's the 1950s
>there's been no world war (only the Soviet Police Action)
>there's been no genocide in Europe
>Stalinism discredited and ruined
>traditionalism is linked with peace and brotherhood among nations and an inclusive European identity, not alt-right KANGery
>without the USSR, no Communist influence globally aside from fringe movements
>without WWII great powers gradually decolonize, no wars of liberation and banana republics
>without USSR and Pearl Harbor there is no Cold War and US is largely isolationist
>no Islamic radicalism
>America still seen as beacon of liberty
>Even if the Sino-Japanese war happens, it's a local affair and Japanese occupation will inevitably fail, even if it takes decades
>Without Soviet backing Mao and cronies couldn't establish a viable government
>China is divided and weak, but still probably better off in terms of lives lost

>literally everyone everywhere better off
>Europe top dog
Best timeline.