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>Be me
>Moses
>Live in Egypt, with filthy kek worshipers
>Be male
>Head kek worshiper BTFO's baby Goldsteins
>Oyvey.gif
>Mom puts me in a basket and into the river expecting it to save me
>Somehow not only survives but ends up in head kek worshipers house
>Ironic.jpeg
>Grow up thinking I'm a royal kek worshiper
>Bump into sis one day chasing after sexy arab womyn
>sis sings mom's lullaby instantly revealing I'm really a Goldstein
>Kill guard whipping my ((((((people))))) next day
>Leave to go be a hippie with sexy arab womyn
>One day YWHW appears to me in cave and wants me to BTFO kek worshipers and deliver Goldsteins back to promised land
>Does all of this just for Goldsteins to fuck it up and be forced to live in the desert the rest of my life
>>
The real story
>Goldstein rapefugees come into Egypt in droves
>starting lending money and printing pornographic papyri
>local king says we have to do honest work for a living
OY VEY IT'S SLAVERY!
>get expelled
>write revenge fanfic about it centuries later, saying that G-d BTFO Pharaoh and we really wanted to live
>nobody believes in it but ourselves
>millennia later a race of retarded goyim called cristards appears and believes in everything we say
>our version of the story is passed on thanks to said christards
*stereotypical laughter*
>>
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>>2825371
>Be Me
>Rehoboam
>Be crown prince
>LifeIsPrettyGood.jpg
>Party all the time
>Have lots of friends party with
>Old man finally dies
>Become king
>A bunch of people come in and whine about the high level of taxes
>Well, it's not like this is anything new, right? I mean fuck it, the old man had been taxing them like that for years.
>Will they fucking shut up already? I have a hangover
>Tell them that my dick is enormous, and that they should all bow down and be happy I don't do worse things to them
>Raise taxes to show those uppity fuckers whose boss.
>Hey, where the fuck did the northern 2/3 of my kingdom go?
>THEY CAN DO THIS?
>FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
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>>2825414
Oy vey! Christ didn't even exist lmao! 2,000+ years of theology and history destroyed!
>>
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>>2825414
Me when Jacob saved Egypt from diaster and turmoil but that instantly doesn't matter bc some baby eater said so
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>>2825464
Jacob (and Pharaoh) taxed the Egyptians by taking a portion of their crops then selling it back to them when the drought and famine came and whenever the Egyptians ran out of money they sold themselves into servitude.
The Jews deserved to be forced into slavery. It was justice.
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>>2825487
Not arguing against that, Jews will be Jews. But it doesn't negate Jacob saved Egypt.
>>
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>>2825464
Good goy! We are indeed the chosen people. G-d will bless you with being my personal shabbos goy in the resurrection.
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>>2825503
Obviously it's 21.
>>
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>>2825611
What is context?
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