Dumbest reason to start a war.

Ideology.

>>2822486
LE RELIGION XD

>>2822486
"cause muh daddy didn't finish the job"
Alternatively, nonexistent WMDs.

The Marco Polo Bridge Incident.
>hey some of our officers committed an act of terror against our own forces
>better attack China

A bucket

>>2822520
this

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_of_the_Bucket

Dude bucket lmao

That one time some spics chimped out over a soccer game

>>2822486
tea tax

>>2822586
You can drink your tea from the harbor faggot

>Muh jews backstabbed us

because your ally's ally's ally went to war over the death of some king that has nothing to do with you

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>>2822486
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emu_War

>>2822586

Imagine if they taxed amerifats burgers.

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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pastry_War

>In complaint to King Louis-Philippe, a French pastry chef known only as Monsieur Remontel, claimed that in 1832 Mexican officers looted his shop in Tacubaya (then a town on the outskirts of Mexico City). Remontel demanded 60,000 pesos as reparations for the damage (his shop was valued at less than 1,000 pesos).[1][5][6][7]

>In view of Remontel's complaint (which gave its name to the ensuing conflict) and of other complaints from French nationals (among them the looting in 1828 French shops at the Parian market and the execution in 1837 of a French citizen accused of piracy) in 1838 prime minister Louis-Mathieu Molé demanded from Mexico the payment of 600,000 pesos (3 million Francs) in damages,[4][5] an enormous sum for the time, when the typical daily wage in Mexico City was about one peso (8 Mexican reals).

>When president Anastasio Bustamante made no payment, the King of France ordered a fleet under Rear Admiral Charles Baudin to declare and carry out a blockade of all Mexican ports on the Atlantic coast from Yucatán to the Rio Grande, to bombard the Mexican fortress of San Juan de Ulúa, and to seize the city of Veracruz, which was the most important port on the Gulf coast. French forces captured Veracruz by December 1838 and Mexico declared war on France.

>>2822528
>Tfw you'll never die a noble death over a bucket

>>2822520
>>2822528
Probably this desu senpai

>>2822659
LA GUERRA DE LOS PASTELES
Also:
Jenkin's ear
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_of_Jenkins'_Ear

>>2822650

they would die of fund withdrawal as I have maybe 10 in a year

kys

>>2822486
Invisible WMD

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>>2822486
At a shooting festival in Constance 1458 a local merchant refused to accept a Plappart (a silver coin) from the city of Lucerne, and returned it with the comment it was "cow-plappart"

Because of this insult, Lucerne raised an army of 4'000 men, marched to Constance, laid siege to the town and extorted 5'000 guilders in retribution.


>mountain merchants gonna merchant

>>2822486
High Taxes

>>2822499
This one, Americans should be slaughtered fucking capitalist swines

>>2822511
It's not really dumb, it's just a requirement to declare war with some sort of casus belli.

>>2822486
Woman

>>2822486
Love

>>2822486

you know, people always bitched about NO WAR FOR OIL! when I was like 16, but isnt that the best reason to start a war? Fighting to obtain arguably the most important natural resource is much better than fighting for some abstract concept

>>2824912

t. history undergrad who frequents antifa fb groups

TULIPS

GIVE ME BACK MY BUCKET

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>>2822486

Any war that started purely due to people failing their game theory class.

>x might attack
>i better attack x first

You might say this is rational and reasonable for self-preservation. I guess on some level it is.

On another level it's fucking retarded and probably millions have perished over paranoid fuckery when nobody wanted a war.

>>2822486
All of them.

>>2825109
Worked fine for Israel.

>>2825114
Edgy my dude

>>2825132

Yeah, must be nice to have the whole world hating you and living in a constant state of fear and panic, knowing with absolute certainty that sooner or later, your innocent descendants are going to pay for your shitty behavior.

I bet Israelis sleep great at night.

>>2825143
Israel is the most based nation on earth. Low life Arabs tried again and again to destroy the Jewish state and failed every single time.

The whole world doesn't hate Israel; just Muslims and leftist scum who have made a pact with an antiquated, horrible religion. If you had to choose whether to live in Israel or any of the neighbouring countries, we all know what choice you would make.

>>2825109
During the building-up part of a war, a lot of paranoia happens on both sides. Eventually someone snaps. People are not as rational as the enlightenment leads people to believe.

>>2825165
Well said.

>>2825165
Israel as a country shouldn't even exist. You stole Palestinians land and made them strangers in their own homes. You moved into land occupied by sovereign people for thousands of years and basically terrorize them. The world is waking up to Jewish tyranny and it won't be long before your chickens come home to roost. You committed the same crimes against Palestinians that were committed against you and have the unmitigated GALL to claim moral superiority, somehow. The balls of the Jews just astound.

I'm not some brain dead poltard and I have no issue with Jews outside of Israel, but the state of Israel is a crime against humanity and eventually it will be rectified by the International powers. Israel is on borrowed time.

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Duh

>>2822486
a football match
I´m looking at you, El Salvador

a dead archduke in a backwater country that got killed by the eternal slav

>>2825251
The most powerful man in the world loves Israel and has a Jewish daughter.

>>2825095
Name just one good thing that the USA did in the last 100 years

>>2825375
Go to the moon.

The Iliad.

One of the most devastating wars of Antiquity was started because of an unfaithful roastie

>>2825251
you are so delusional there is no point trying to talk some sense into you.

Can't wait for the Arabs to give it another shot; i'll be watching the combat footage of them being blown to smithereens on liveleak with delight.

>>2825383
>Actually went to the moon
Yeah nice, really useful. It will sure make up for fucking half of the world

>>2825375
Stop the spread of communism throughout Europe

Promote a neoliberal world of free trade, lifting more people out of poverty than any other power structure could possibly do.

As a European, despite our differences, i'll be eternally grateful for America's help for the last century or so.

>>2825387
what ancient enmity didn't begin because of some woman kidnappin' ?

>>2825412
Stop Imperialist Japan

>>2825415
>Stop the spread of communism throughout Europe
Which they also caused by allying with the communists.

>>2825434
>teamed up with communists
>Because the US wouldn't just deny a major power to win the war

>>2825434
Nazis were the greater evil. Commies teamed up with the Nazis too, when they partitioned the east of Europe. Maybe they should've initiated operation unthinkable instead of initiate the cold war. Things ended up alright anyway, though.

>>2825260
Nice iFunny watermark

>>2825434
America has a knack for helping future adversaries. But that's par for the course when you are the ruling power of the globe.

>>2825387
>The Iliad
I didn't know an epic poem was written because of an unfaithful roastie

>>2825279
people envy success. they hate the successful.

>>2825415
>Promote a neoliberal world of free trade, lifting more people out of poverty than any other power structure could possibly do.
This meme is the worst
>Stop the spread of communism throughout Europe
Americans did it? Also soviet were the bad guys is pretty subjective

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Genoa vs Venice


> In the city of Acre, now the largest city in the Crusader States, there was a monastery on a hilltop dedicated to St Sabas. On one side of the hill was a colony of Venetians. On the other side of the hill lived the Genoese. It hardly needs to be said that both groups claimed the monastery for themselves and contested ownership in court.

> One morning in 1256, the Genoese decided simply to be done with law suits and they occupied the monastery. Having gone that far, the Genoese (with the Pisans joining) went on down the Venetian side of the hill, sacked a few houses, looted ships tied up at the quay, and generally raised havoc until driven out by the Venetians. This incident marks the beginning of a nasty squabble that dragged on for years and is known as the War of St Sabas.


This was the pretext for nearly a 130 years of on/off wars between Genoa and Venice.

> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Venetian%E2%80%93Genoese_wars

>>2825375

70s cinema. Check aaaand mate

That one time a merchant disputed the price of bamboo poles and it caused an ethno/religious civil war that killed 8-12 million chinese people

>>2825515
It took several decades for the US to get their hands in as many foreign governments as the Soviets did by the end of WW2

>>2822486
Didn't some Ottoman sultan basically go to war with Cyprus because of its fine wine, so that he could get drunk?
Probably not to get drunk, but the idea seems pretty funny.

Could also argue that the Jenkin's Ear war was pretty retarded to begin with.

>>2822486
A coal dust explosion on The Maine...lets declare war on Spain.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_of_the_Golden_Stool

>Golden Stool is the sacred symbol of the Ashanti people, where their ruler traditionally sits
>British governor of the Gold Coast demands to be allowed to sit on the stool
>Ashanti revolt against British rule
>are put down, but British never get the stool

>>2822528

>and the bucket remains in Modena to this day

Bologna eternally BTFO

>>2825375
Stood up to the USSR. Played a major role in defeating Germany, and was primarily responsible for the defeat of japan. Tried to keep the rest of the world from completely cucking Germany.
et cetera

>>2825109
A preemptive defensive strike is a genius move, especially if it provokes the defender who you can then go balls to the wall on showing your people how dangerous the enemy are.

>>2825515
Communist "durr stalin killing ppl is just nazi propaganda/holodomor didn't happen" faggot detected.

>>2822486
A pretty girl

>>2826082
nah, the golden stool thing is out of fucking principle, since that chair literally is your ancestors, and fuck that pasty foreigner that sat his ass on it.
Also, by the end, they made the most powerful empire in the world stay away from that stool to avoid another big revolt, which is based.

>>2825165
no desu I would rather live in Jordan.

>Low life arabs tried to destroy the Jewish state
True. And low life Brits created the Jewish state in a place where a bunch of people were already living and it made them rather upset.

>Leftist scum
...isn't the /pol/puplar meme to hate lefties and jews both? I'm confused

>>2825282
>Not understanding that the first world war wasn't about the death of a man but the release of tension between the imperialist nations of europe

Get out

>>2825433
And creating a weapon that would have the world at border of extinction in the process

>>2826536
Oy vey. Because invading Japan would totally work...

>>2822626
Such a bloody and unnecessary conflict.
When will man and emu learn to set aside their differences...

>>2822511
That's because nips were chaotic evil

>>2826536
The world never blew up. Who cares.

>>2825251
The U.S. shouldn't exist because it stole land from the natives.

>>2822486
Bamboo poles (12 million dead)
Bucket (2,000 dead)
Ear (24,500 dead)

>>2822486
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_of_the_Bucket

Declare war on sparrows and end up killing 30 million of your own people.

>>2826672
>Some sparrows found refuge in the extraterritorial premises of various diplomatic missions in China. The personnel of the Polish embassy in Beijing denied the Chinese request of entering the premises of the embassy to scare away the sparrows who were hiding there and as a result the embassy was surrounded by people with drums. After two days of constant drumming, the Poles had to use shovels to clear the embassy of dead sparrows.

Jesus Christ.

>>2826686
was it autism?

>>2826705
It was Maoism.

>>2826536
That the U.K. And Germany were also developing. If we didn't then somebody else, probably somebody worse, would have.

>>2825375
Saving our asses twice from Germany then one more time from Russia as well as helping us rebuild

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>>2825165

You seem to think that because a society is better than another they're entitled by divine right to things that are not their own. That's not how things work.

Regardless of how the Palestinians are like (I can't say I ever met any) the land was theirs. It's that simple. It's not a matter of who deserved it more because it doesn't enter consideration.

Fun fact: the Jews that lived in Palestine at the time when the Brits came to bring wholesale slaughter to the place in the name of Jewish nationalists were terrified and wanted nothing to do with it. In fact, they, too, were put under the sword. Nobody cared that they were Jews, because they weren't

>muh nationalistic israel!!!

>>2826613

The Natives aren't misplaced, they're mostly dead. Apart from that, they were dying of disease when the Europeans came, and had little claim to a "culture" anyway.

If you're under the impression that Europeans went to the Americans and killed Indians left and right for amusement, you're wrong. Most of the land was acquired through honest trade. The Indian tribes were more interested in getting the upper-hand on each other than killing the Europeans. Hardly a similar situation.

Jenkins ear

>>2827266
>The Natives aren't misplaced
Jesus christ are you serious

>>2827266
>Indian removal was a policy of the United States government in the 19th century whereby Native Americans were forcibly removed from their ancestral homelands in the eastern United States to lands west of the Mississippi River, thereafter known as Indian Territory.

ok then

Soup.

>>2822528
>Modenese steal a bucket from Bologna
>Bolognese get butthurt and declare war
>32 000 Bolognese vs 7000 Modenese
>Modena wins
>the bucket is still in Modena to this day
>during the battle the Modenese took another bucket

Lmao why are the Bolognese such massive cucks?

>>2825515
Fuck off marxist tard

>>2826525
>Not understanding the topic of the thread
Its the dumbest reason someone started a war not why a war would happen eventually due the geopolitical climate of the time. Dumbass krauts went in way over their heads.

>>2825165
>The whole world doesn't hate Israel
You're right it doesn't. Its just the total population of the muslim world that hates it and coincidentally that's literally everyone around it in every direction for thousands of miles.

I'm not saying go arabs or anything i don't have a dog in the fight. I'm just saying that long term having every single neighbor hate you is a good way to eventually get right fucked.

It's why as a general rule nations tend to avoid it.

Soccer War

>>2825251
When exactly was there a sovereign palestinian state?

>>2827266
>You seem to think that because a society is better than another they're entitled by divine right to things that are not their own. That's not how things work.
>The Natives aren't misplaced, they're mostly dead. Apart from that, they were dying of disease when the Europeans came, and had little claim to a "culture" anyway.

Nice double standards.

>>2825165
>the jidf is a meme they said

>>2825090
I think those people didn't want war in general.

>>2822499
>refused to allow the United Nation inspectors in multiple times
>moved WMDs to Russia

???

>>2827311

Yes. The vast majority are just fucking dead. like 99% or more of the Indians that should be are dead.

>>2827317

At that point there were Americans that were born and raised on that land too. It was no longer a case of a foreign conqueror coming in and doing away with people. They were no longer foreigners. They were Americans.

>>2827647

How is it a double standard? Other than the Americans to the south, how many Americans in the north had anything you would call a civilization?

It's obvious that wild conglomerate of tribesmen aren't going get the same rights as an actual state like Palestine.

>>2827681
Holy shit you're retarded.

>>2825713
This is the only legit answer

>>2827681
>Yes. The vast majority are just fucking dead. like 99% or more of the Indians that should be are dead.
Then it will be all fine and dandy when we kill off 99% of Palestinians?

>At that point there were Americans that were born and raised on that land too.
Invalid argument. There have been many Jews born and raised on Israel already.

>It's obvious that wild conglomerate of tribesmen aren't going get the same rights as an actual state like Palestine.
What's wrong with you? So you think it's wrong for Israel to take over Palestine but you think it's fine for Native Americans to be denied rights?

I don't believe any of these things are right but you definitely have double standards.

>>2822611
But Britain was protecting Belgium independence, and Serbia was guaranteed by Russia not allied
>>2822486
Because your friend may become too powerful in the future so you declare war on him, and then send a philosopher to agitate who industrialises the country faster than predicted leading to you losing the land of the empire that founded your country and your women being raped by the millions

>>2826566
>invading
>not bloackading and waiting for things to blow over
>>2826592
Lawful evil
>>2826613
The US shouldn't but the Spanish and British empires should

Opium war

>British
We want Tea...but is expensive, I know, let's sell Opium to China in exchange for that
>China
dude opium LMAO
>Chinese Emperor
This is illegal you know, stop it.
>Britain sends 16 warships and 27 transports
Result
>20,000 and 25,000 Chinese were killed. Britain lost just 69 men
>China paid 21m silver dollars and gave Britain Hong Kong so they could sell even more Opium

https://web.archive.org/web/20121207044403/http://www.bbc.co.uk/history/0/20428167

Imagine if Mexico invaded US because they are fighting narco-trafficants.

>>2829041
>slaughter civilians because you can
>lawful

>>2825251
>You committed the same crimes against Palestinians that were committed against you

Industrialized genocide is hardly the same as the oppressing a bunch of people by embargo.

>>2827266

>seriously defending what happened to the native Americans while bitching about poor palestinians

Jesus christ how can a man have such double standards...

Football war

>>2824912
Oh sorry for making penicillin

>>2822486
Soccer

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>>2822591
Best post all day

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>>2822486
Some dude named Jenkins getting his ear lopped off.

>>2825375
>fought the Germans twice and won
>beat the commies
>created the UN
>gave birth to WWE
The last one in particular

Idk if it counts as war but my favorite is in the first crusade Franks start gathering together something bad happens and they just go around killing jews because of it.

>lets go fight islam for jesus
>everyone got malaria
>fucking jews

>>2825114
dude peace lmao

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>>2822486
"Muh Russia!"

>>2822528
I was going to say a football match, but this takes the fucking cake.

>>2822650
Fuck that. Don't make my double-double more expensive than it already is! REEEEEEE!

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Invading Poland because of a massacre that didn't happen

>>2830286
>Not ordering a 3x3 off the secret menu.

>>2825362
He doesn't even have power over his own mouth.

>>2825266
I came to post this, but the bucket, well takes the bucket.

>>2830289
wut
the """"""""""massacre"""""""""" happened after the initial invasion

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Irish Civil War

We Hate The Brits vs We REALLY Hate The Brits

We Hate The Brits win the war but leader of the hardliners eventually gets near lifetime premiership

>>2829241
Please explain

>>2830448
Not him, but: two Latin American countries started a short (6 days I think) war after violence or refball at some football/soccer game

>>2822520
i'm pretty sure the guys were just having some fun
>>2822486
i'd say women

>>2822586
fuck off nigel

>>2822499
>"cause muh daddy didn't finish the job"

Yeah the Horus Heresy was some cock-up.

>>2831521
lel

>The revolt arose over a pricing dispute involving bamboo poles, when a Han merchant selling to a Hui did not receive the amount demanded for the goods.
>Total deaths on all sides: 8,000,000–12,000,000,

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dungan_Revolt_(1862%E2%80%9377)

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>>2822626
You fuckin bogan

>>2829041
>cut open the vaginas of baby girls to rape them better
>force monks to break their vows of chastity
>force relatives to commit incest
>put people in pressure chambers until they prolapse
>lawful

>>2831815
>have competition to see who can kill 100 civilians first
>cut open the wombs of screaming women to stab their fetuses
>lawful

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>>2825375
Normalize race mixing in the west and push civic nationalism on Europe.

>>2825375
Nuked Japan.
Bonus:
Nuked Japan again.

>>2831795
Jesus Christ, why is China such a hilarious place? How do they manage to do this so many times?

>>2822528
For honor and glory

>>2832270
A giant population where everyone is packed closely together.

>>2832270
In the First Opium War, 20,000 Chinese people died but only 69 Birts. Shit is cray.

>>2832270
I think it's just because they have a huge population and being the strongest country means everyone wants a piece of it.

Chinese civilization started off between two river systems which helped boost agricultural produce.

They were the first to domesticate rice. Rice is a very labor intensive crop that requires an entire community to grow it but it can feed even more people. The population swelled.

China was constantly at war with foreign invaders or itself. After unification was achieved and things stabilized, people would have shitloads of babies. Repeat this multiple times and you end up with the biggest population in the world.

>>2832936
Pretty much. Most Asian countries have huge populations because they rely on rice as a staple crop, and China was the first one to do it. When they have wars, loads of blood is spilled and people need to have more babies in the aftermath to make up for the loss and continue their rice farming.

>>2822486
Football.

>>2822486
Money

>>2832270
It's because the highly centralized government represses its people and those frustrations build up over time. When they have these seemingly silly disputes, there are also numerous other grievances that have been cooking under the surface for a long time. Imagine someone bottling up all their anger on the inside only to explode when the final straw breaks the camel's back.

And other anons have explained the giant population thing.

>>2827266
Cognitive Disonance: The Post

>>2829041
>>not bloackading and waiting for things to blow over
>Lol let's kill a bigger number of Japanese in an unnecessarily drawn out way because big booms are too scary.

You do realize a giant percent of Japan's food came from its colonies, and Japan's transport systems were repeatedly injured over the war and through oil deficit? If we starved militarized Japan out expect millions more to die and America to fall behind in the Cold War.

>>2825713
I don't like 70's cinema.

>>2831521
Good post.

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>>2831521
DELET

>>2829188
China should've made a deal to the British to help them westernize

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_of_Jenkins%27_Ear

>>2827483
They are to this day the most cucked city in Italy. Looks like some thing never change

>>2825251
It is only natural for superior cultures to destroy inferior ones.

>>2830531
2000 people died anon

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>>2822486
Collective Autism.

>>2822528
You would do nothing if somebody stole your bucket? Fucking cuck

>>2822650
they do, you fucking idiot.

>>2822650
thank g*d hillary didn't win.

>>2826248
>Stalin was the only Soviet general secretary/chairman
hows the GED coming along?

>>2832270
>boxer rebellion
>Chinese think they have magic kungfu powers and can stop bullets
>empress allies with them because if she doesn't the population will get pissy
>get fucking slaughtered by a european gangbang plus Japan
>turns out the magic kungfu powers weren't real

>>2830411
Uhh no it didnt

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>>2822486

there are no dumb reasons for starting a war famalam. The weak have to suffer for Ba'al.

>>2825251
i didn't denied that israel did warcrime but claiming israel itself shouldn't have existed is stupid just because they stole it from some native.If they should returned that land than half of the entire earth should do the same thing you thik all border and nation in this earth is not gained through bloodshed than you are delusional.

I am in favor of two state solution . You are gonna thrown all the jew back to somewhere else ?tell me again how this is possible.

>>2826536
The weapon that stopped world war other wise there would be perhaps 7 or 6 world war right now...Also if the us didn't develop it germany will

The "dumb reason" isn't the actual reason.

You know how people pretend to be stupid, because their actual reasoning would just be evil?

>>2825515
I agree with you on the neo-liberal nonsense

>look at all of the Chinese and Indians we exploit to feed our super-elite
>fuck you, you greedy middle class peasant

It just brings everyone down to comparative poverty, like communism, while creating a super-powerful elite, beyond the law, like communism.

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>>2825165
*squeak*

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Second Balkan War takes the cake

Why are you people posting examples of pretexts?
Most of these wars still had legitimate motivations

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>>2830412

>>2837657
>this.
Often times it is just an excuse to justify being a dick to obtain more resources. Basically the underlying reason for every war in history.

>>2825109
It makes perfect sense. Even if you assume both sides don't want a war, there's still the chance of a cock-up anyway. Some dumb-ass private firing off without orders, some partisans causing an issue, or something else. If you see the relationship as getting more tense and both sides "preparing for the worst but hoping for the best" it still makes sense to launch a preemptive attack if the situation keeps becoming more complicated. Because as we all know, the more complicated a machine is, the more parts can fuck up.

Your best chance for survival, when counting the odds, might vary well be a preemptive strike in a war you know the other side doesn't want.

>>2825251
>Arabs complaining about invasions, displacement, or moral highground in any matters
>Ever

>>2825412
Fuck off with that. You use technology originally developed for the moon missions to this day

for the fun of it