Weekly faggotry thread

>be Elagabalus
>piss off the senators
>get assassinated
>they write everything they can to make you seem like a horrible, decadent, repulsive failure of a human being
>2000 years later weeaboos admire you for all the lies spread about you

>>2807474
Elagabalus was a fucking mistake just as entire Severan dynasty.

>>2808668
Alexander Severus would probably have become a decent emperor

>>2808703
Too bad he was too weak to lead an army.

>>2808668
Septimus Severus wasn't a total failure, he had an awesome name.

>>2807491
like pottery

Still tho most roman emperors were fucking degenerates.

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>>2807474
What was that one porn comic about the Greeks?

>>2808862
>tfw one of good emperors Hadrian who built the wall in Britain was a greet boypussy lover so much he named his greek lover a God.
JUST

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>>2809598
I ain't here to judge bruh I mean can't say I wouldn't do the same

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>>2809615
>Be Hadrian
>Be most powerful person on earth
>Build a wall in Scotland and make picts pay for it by slaves
>Massacre jews by thousands
>Return back to Rome to sodomise you qt greek boypussy God bf.
feels good.

>defending Elagarglecock because he drained Rome's coffers on trying to have ever Judean huckster and Greek Dogmatic School """""""""""""""'physician"""""""""""""" turn him into a girl
I bet the guy who made this is one of those types that gets mad that Blimpf gets two scoops of ice cream with his pie because it's "wasting taxpayer dollars".

>>2809658
He was a man with no taste no doubt.

>wanting a vagina when you can just work your superior boipussy

>>2809632
Jesus Christ, the empire was a mistake even before it existed. Thank god it died... Twice.

>>2809658
>wannabe tranny destroyed Roman emprie
Traps were a mistake.

>>2807491
fpbp

>>2809598
Nothing wrong with Boipussy from time to time

>>2809658
>he drained Rome's coffers on trying to have ever Judean huckster and Greek Dogmatic School """""""""""""""'physician"""""""""""""" turn him into a girl
What? Source on this?

>>2811233
The true emperor taste is having a threesome with your wife and your greek boi lover.

>>2811563
He's exaggerating but only slightly. Cassius Dio in his Roman History relates that Elagabalus spent a lot of money on a large number of physicians who claimed they could turn him into a girl.

He also reportedly gleefuly prostituted himself to both Rome's upper crust, forcing a number of Rome's betters to pretend to be seeking out a whore in a tavern, and literally went down to Rome's slums to prostitute himself at taverns. He also took delight in being referred to as the wife of whatever lover he'd taken a fancy to.

>>2807491
100% this
>yfw Caligula probably wasn't any more debauched than your average Roman emperor.

>>2811619
Burning your entire city I think is good enough to qualify you as the worst emperor of all time.

>>2811604
>physicians who claimed they could turn him into a girl.
Did they manage to do that?

>>2811689

No more or less than they can today.

>>2811619
Honestly the worst emperors were later when the empire was actually in danger and needed strong leaders. Caligula was shit sure but at least the empire could stand having him as emperor and not fall apart.

>>2811755
meant for
>>2811637

>>2811730
Back to /pol/

>>2811764

You know I'm right.

>>2811755
They were pretty bad but at least they weren't actively sabotaging their own empire.

Intentionally anyway.

>>2809723
Oh noes, not people being happy and enjoying themselves, oh dear.

Fuck off christfag.

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>>2811781
>Imperial romaboo
>shit-talking christianity
>shit-talking the gayest religion ever

>>2807474
>having a dick or cunt doesn't decide your gender, it's the length of your hair that matters

>>2811781
>If he doesn't endorses boy fucking, he must be a christcuck.
Get outta here, faggottron

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>>2811819
>all the g*rmans were women

>>2811837
>fuckin Germans are here for their monthly raid

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>>2811858

>>2811764
Are you this scientifically illiterate?

I remember reading in Horrible Histories that he collected cow shit. Is that true?

Also
>Some of Elagabalus’ favourites were slaughtered by tearing out their vitals, while others were pierced up the anus, “so that their death fitted their lives”.