>a squad of khmer rouge troops break into your house and say

*dies*

>>2771691
Hide my glasses

>>2771691

*teleports behind them*

this time it's personal

don't speak French

>>2771691
Call police and tell them some asian hobos want to kidnap me

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>>2771691
Get in the back of the truck and sit between two guards.
Once we're in the jungle I pretend I have explosive diarrhea and am about to shit myself. To prevent getting shit on their shit-coloured fatigues, they tell me to do it off the back of the truck.
Pointing their guns at me I assume the position, only to flip off the back and roll into the ditch by the roadside and run like hell into the dense jungle.
Once there I begin to sharpen punji sticks and prepare to wage guerilla warfare against the slant eyes who took my anime.

>>2771691
Sigh and get a shovel

z

Tell them how much I adore farming

>>2771691
Just step over them since they are all turbo manlets

Remind them that, being an American citizen, I am paying their salaries.

Continue masturbating while maintaining eye contact with them.

Is the death not the safest place?

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>>2771691

Accuse their leader of being very well-spoken and start wondering if he hadn't had too much to read.

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>>2772072
Kek

I show them my college degree, thick glasses, and baby-soft hands, and I tell them to just fuck my shit up.

this thread is gold

>>2771691
call my vietnamese neighbours

>>2771691
Tell them I'm a house servant and get a privileged position in a government job.

>>2771699
heh

tell them Angkar has given me direct orders to stay in the city and star them down