Gladiatorial President Combat

>>2765110
Either Jackson or Teddy because they were both /fit/ and actually knew how to fight.

>>2765114
Well they were cavalry officers, so the fighting bit might not necessarily transfer over on foot combat. Also, consider Taft. The sheer mass of him might easily allow him both the constitution and strength to survive long enough to remain the last standing.

>>2765110
We can boil it down to those who have actually seen combat.
Of those, I'd say Zachary Taylor, Ulysses S Grant, Rutherford B Hayes and Teddy Roosevelt have the best chance of winning

My money's on Teddy

Anyway shit thread OP

>>2765126
>>2765114

Teddy had fucking asthma

Gerald Ford was quite the athlete I hear

>>2765110
obama.. because he is black

I think Teddy would take it. He would also be one of the youngest combatants in the fight.

http://www.robinsonlibrary.com/america/unitedstates/presidents/byage.htm

>>2765156
Teddy got fucking shot in the chest, looked himself over, found that he was fine, then gave a 2 hour campaign speech. He was also a cavalry commander in 2 wars, and an avid outdoorsman.

>>2765318
He was also 5.8 while abe and washington were giants.

>>2765442
Abe was a sickly lanklet. Washington could kick ass, though.

>>2765454
Pretty sure Abe is in the wrestling hall of fame with a (near?) undefeated record.

The latter presidents would have an advantage over the earlier presidents.

A large number of them would know about Jackson, Abe, Teddy, and Washington's physical prowess. However, someone like Teddy wouldn't know anything about Ike for instance.

My guess is that if there any personal feuds, those would be settled first. Then it would probably break up into trying to group by awareness (Obama, the Bush's, Clinton, etc. would absolutely team up initially). After which it would come down to taking out the biggest threats and cleaning up guys like Taft and FDR.

Honestly, just pick a middling president from any time period and you've likely found the answer just as much as the next.

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>>2765110
Washington stares everyone down until they give up and/or kill themselves.

>>2765110
Washington organizes an uprising, they kill the guards, take the spectators as hostages and settle somewhere as an independent nation.

>>2765110
Cleveland because there's two of them

>>2765121
Except Taft was an incredibly fat fuck and would probably be winded in no time. Actually, Taft might be the first to die.

Teddy or Kennedy because of their youth, I'd say. Jackson was like 62 during his presidency, Lincoln was 52. 40 year old men still have a little bit of energy.

>>2768222
Then again, Kennedy was addicted to pills because of his war injury, so maybe he wouldn't be able to fight.

I wonder if FDR would get a steel weapon or if they'd see his crutches and assume those are what he's taking in

>>2765110
Ulysses Grant with the coke nose for the win

>>2768222
Kennedy? My dude, read an account of Kennedy's health while in office. The dude was falling apart before he even entered Dallas, and his doctors were pumping him full of meds.

Teddy is top seed.

Washington if he's younger or younger Jackson would win though in an age adjusted bracket.

I bet Obama does well because he's young and fairly athletic.

Too bad Hamilton was only ever shadow President. He had some solid battlefield exploits.

Whichever president is the biggest would eventually win.

Reminder that have weight-classes in all combat sports because mass and leverage trump skill and training any day of the week, and manlets never learn.

they'd all be too busy looking at the black guy and wondering what the fuck

I think the earlier presidents would fare better. Guys like Jackson were normalized to pretty extreme violence from a young age. Some one like George W or Obama would probably faint at the sight of someone getting hacked to death.

>>2765110
trump could win with 4d chess

>>2765110
You didn't mention anything that would make them wanna fight each other.

>>2765110
FDR

they would all feel back about killing crippley the wheelman, or he would be overturned from his chair and remain un noticed untill the last man standing was felled by a stab to the ankle and then one to the chest

>>2768592
This

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Which weapon do you think teddy would choose? I vote for a set of brass knuckles or a big club.

>>2765156
Which he overcame.

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>>2768592
Hearthy kek. Theodore was pretty racist even for his time right? He would be fucking stunned.

They'd prganize a union and overthrow the guards and create a new independent nation

>>2768049
kek

>>2765121
The "Rough Riders" dismounted to fight.

Anyone saying anything other than George Washington the first President of these United States is an unpatriotic cunt, a traitor and probably a commie as well.

Boy I sure do like George Washington.


He's a swell guy. I'm not gay, but if he asked I'd let him fuck my pooper.

>>2768628
doubt george w would faint

I think everyone would underestimate him, just like you just did, and hed come out on top

>>2765126
depends, is grant sober or not?

>>2770083
*misunderestimate

>>2765121
Teddy did martial arts.

>>2765126
>Ulysses S Grant
>Unfit alchoholic

>>2765156
had

>>2765110
Lincoln was known as "rail-splitter", so I'm guessing he could do some serious damage.