Annoying things in /hist/orical movies

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tu demens frater?

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>movie/show is about Romans
>no matter what the time period is they wear lorica segmentata
>half the time it's not even proper lorica segmentata it's leather that approximates the shape of it
Special mention goes to the history channel Barbarians Rising series. Which not only has the Romans wearing lorica segmentation during the second fucking Punic War

But has Hannibal wearing a 4th century AD Roman Centurion helmet with a Chi Rho on it

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>>2711855

>>2711855
>(((History))) Channel

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>>2711855
That's not even the worst rendition or depiction of Hannibal the History Channel is guilty of.

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>>2712096
ayo hol up

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>>2711855

>>2711855
>>2712096
>>2712201
Why?

Also to add:

>Greek/Romans portrayed by actors that never look Italian or Greek and typically Nordic as fuck

>>2712201
>Ruler of Carthage
That's easily the worst part

>>2712508

VAE VICTIS

>>2712508
I don't really care if they don't fit the racial profile of the person they're supposed to be portraying (it is acting, after all) but things like the Chi Rho and "rule of Carthage" are just terrible

>lines immediately break and everyone evenly distributes them self to fight one on one
>during fight scene they're very clearly aiming for eachother's swords instead of eachother.

>>2712679

Hello Lloyd

>>2712744
>tripfag

>>2712679
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7MYlRzLqD0

>>2712764

I actually did this as a joke, and forgot I still had it in the name field.

It's kind of hilarious, and a fine way to get the daily (you)

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>the dark ages were a thing
How do we wipe this meme from the face of the earth once and for all?

>>2712838
There was certainly a simplification of economic structures and decline in cultural and scientific output

>>2712508
HBO Rome was an exemption.

Sure the main cast was, but all the extras were italian.

In the DVD commentary, Ray Stevenson comments on how Italian propensity to wax their hair or use gel led to extras having shit running down their heads due to filming in summer.

>medieval setting
>all clothing is grey or brown

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>story set in ancient Greece/Rome/etc...
>they wear trousers or pants

I know it's not historically accurate but red tunic and brown trousers clash together so fucking well for some reason

>>2712850
>decline in scientific output

but... the scientific method came from the dark ages didn't it?

I agree with a bunch of books being burned though

>>2712850
Thats what happens with a massive decline in infrastructure and education

>>2711776
If the movie is in english what does their accent matter? They're already speaking the wrong language, might as well speak the right version of it(queens english).

I've always found this criticism weird

>>2711855
>>2712096
>>2712201
>carthage is on the continent of africa
>therefore carthaginians are black

ok so then bashar al assad is a chinese man

>>2711776

Is it even technically possible for an entire movie cast to speak classical Latin?

>>2712911
Passion of the Christ. Everybody spoke Aramean, Latin, Greek and shit.

>>2712671
I care if an actor or actress fits a racial profile because (((they))) are replacing historical white figures for the sake of their diversity and less whites propaganda.

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>>2712891
>bashar al assad is a chinese man

Well we already have japanese romans

just need to wait for romanaboo-ism to spread to the rest of asia

>>2712889

>queens english


yeah, have some tea, ugly

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>>2711776
>movie shows a German panzer
>travels more than 10 yards without breaking down

>>2712889
Have them speak the correct language then like in the Passion

>>2712954
That's the best option but difficult to pull off, not only do you need good actors, but ones that can learn to speak Latin fluently

I love movies like that, but when they can't pull it off English is fine

>>2711776
>angelina jolie plays a greek
>puts on a bad russian accent
roooooo

>>2712877
>the scientific method came from the dark ages didn't it?
In what way? It came from the Renaissance philosophers.

>>2712838
They were a thing. There are a lot of misconceptions about them, but you are not helping get rid of them. Fighting memes with memes only begets more memes.

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>story set in ancient Egypt
>everyone is white

>>2713262
Hes literally an egyptian

>>2712096
Huh, is the 300 getting a sequel called 35100 or something?

>>2713262
Rami Malik is Egyptian
>>2713277
Kek your faster than me

>>2711776
>story set in ancient Egypt
>said Egyptians don't speak ancient Egyptian
>women's breasts are covered
>the night sky is shown, but they didn't even account for the precession of the equinoxes
Filmmakers are fucking morons, how can anyone watch all that shit?

>>2713277
>>2713284
Are you two autistic?

>>2713314
Why are you asking about that?

>>2712856
>Sure the main cast was
Most of the main cast was quite compatible in terms of facial structure.

>>2713329
You're either missing the joke or explaining it.

>>2713340
Explaining it.

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>Akkadian character
>Played by half black half Samoan actor

Dude all brown people look the same lmao

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>>2712508
>muh Noridc looking

I bet you can't tell apart who is Italian and who is German if you put guys in this pic to a same group with Germans

>>2711776
I always thought it was an ode to Shakespeare

>>2711776
>story set in ancient Greece/Rome/etc...
>said Greeks/Romans/etc...are characters portrayed by actors speaking any language other than historically accurate Latin without subtitles
>because this is accurate

>>2713387
Northern Italians are Germanic rape babbys

>>2713397
>any language other than historically accurate Latin
You are aware many of them would often speak Greek?

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>>2713416
>STOP THIS MEME

>>2713426
>have probably not significantly altered
>probably
Can you cite a proper source that is not Wikipedia?

>>2713474
What is your basis for thinking that a settled population of several million people could be replaced by the immigration of a few thousand?

>>2713479
It's not an isolated place like Sardinia and has been raped many times by Germans so of course mixing will occur.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sack_of_Rome

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>>2713416
t. Terrone

>>2713574
>mixing will occur
Sure, some, but nothing near replacement level. That would take hundreds of thousands of years.

Look at Ireland, it had gigantic invasions by foreign peoples twice in its lifetime, and was subject to a government-sanctioned program of attempted outbreeding in the 17th century, where a foreign element that amounted to 1/5th of their population was forced upon them. And yet, 89% of Irish people are descended nearly exclusively from Ireland's original pre-Celtic neolithic population, and it's speculated that most of the remaining 11% is Celtic admixture.

>>2713574
A few hundred rapes is not going to suddenly replace a population of several million. Are you fucking stupid?

>>2712201
>ruler of Carthage
REEEEEEEEE

>>2713574
Fuck off you absolute idiot

There is atleast one white guy in japan or chinese films

>>2713574
Have you read about the Germanic sacks of Rome? Even just those Wikipedia articles? They were pretty tame.

Anyway it's a moot point because hundreds or even thousands of rapes aren't going to significantly affect a population of millions.

>>2712856
Cirian hinds who played Caesar was swarthy as fuck(he's Irish though)

>>2711776
>British don't have Roman accents
But anon we're 3rd Rome

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>>2711776
>Romans wearing Lorica Segmentata in republican and late imperial ages

>>2713758

It was rare even when it existed, because it was expensive and prone to rust. You had to maintain it constantly or it would fall apart.

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>>2713758
It didn't vanish overnight, some troops continued to wear it in the 4th century

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>/his/torical movie/series
>turns out to be generic american produced trash

>>2712933
Well that's a comedy about an ancient roman travelling in time to modern Japan

Russians only had one rifle for X amount of men

>>2713782
But it was generally rare even at its peak. It wasn't what all Roman troops wore for the entirety of Rome's empire.

That said the main reason they are so common in movies and shows is because they're stock piled from previous productions and its easier to rent them out for a shoot than to make period accurate armor from scratch.

Would still be nice to see some hamata or even squamata from time to time.

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NO FUCKING COLOR

Modern Hollywood seems to think color wasn't invented until the 1950s, and you can show how historically accurate your movie is by making everything gray and brown.

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>>2715104
this times a million.

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>>2715127

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>>2715134

>>2712798
Love this honestly.

>>2715104
The funny thing about it is, I recall correctly, brown was pretty rare due to it being more expensive than colors like red.

>>2711855
Why did History Channel portray Hannibal as the good boy? He is literally the one who started the the 2nd Punic War by sieging Seguntum

>>2713290
From my knowledge, women in ancient Egypt only showed their breasts when mourning. Am I wrong?

>>2715763
Carthage was in an agricultural and economic boom and he had to fuck it all up.

>>2713589

north italians are Austrian bastards

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>>2711776
>series set in early medieval Scandinavia
>with very few sources and material from the period meaning you can be fairly historically accurate while still using plenty of artistic freedom
>GETS NOTHING RIGHT
>made by the "History" channel

>>2715882
>female warriors

kek

just fucking kek

I also noticed there seem to be some trend to shill viking wymmyn meme in entertainment industry.

>>2713184
the irish accents were more immersion breaking 2bh

>>2712201
so you be sayin

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>>2713277
>>2713284

>>2712951
*Panther or the Tigers
The Pz. I-IV were fine

>>2711776
How else do you convey an imperial upper class accent to English speaking audiences?

I hate this complaint, unless you want dodgy italian/greek accents just stop whining, any english that isnt american or accented sounds British because british is the default

>>2713421
This
Well, if they're patricians

>>2713758
It was not that uncommon anymore from the punic wars onwards. The lorita hamata was still the most commonly used piece of gear for the legionaries, I'll give you that.

>>2715832
You are. Noble women wore see through gowns and lower class ones didn't cover their breasts at all.

>>2715996
My bad, I think I was basing that off of Herodotus. So probably very off.

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>>2715879
>muh bastards

Cry more, Gennaro

>>2711776

>because filmmakers think this is accurate

No they don't you retard, it's because it's easier to get actors to speak in a British accent than to speak Latin, and an American viewer will more readily associate British accented English as an 'older tongue'. The shorthand works.

Producing a script in Latin is going to be considerably harder than producing one in English, as well.

>>2711776
>Romans are always the bad evil empire
>Main characters are in a progressive underdog rebellion

>>2716702
Was never talking about having the actors speak in Latin, you dumbass.

>>2716729
Where's this even a thing?

>Gladiator - Romans are good guys and bad guys
>The Eagle - Romans are the good guys
>Centurion - Romans are the good guys
>Rome - Romans are the good guys and the bad guys

>>2716952
>Spartacus - le evil roman slaveholders
>Cleopatra - le evil roman invaders
>Ben Hur - le evil roman pagans
>Passion of the Christ - le evil roman sadists

>>2716952
I wouldn't say they are the good guys in the eagle. It makes it clear they are Intruders, but doesn't claim that to be necessarily bad.

>>2711776
Are you retarded? If they spoke Latin no one would understand the movie you nigger. If they speak with a British or American accent English speakers can understand them.

>>2716972
>Spartacus
Well the TV series is literally billed as fighting for freedom against slavers, oppressors, and against racism. Hell even in season 3 and 4 you have sympathetic Roman characters in the form Crassus, Caesar, that one Roman chick that Spartacus quasi-waifus, and the old guy who ran the run down temple plus Gnaecius' buddy who got murdered by the zealot black ex-slave chick that Crixus fucked.

Besides compartively looking at the 40s, 50s, and especially 60s Greeks and Romans are generally portrayed very positively by Hollywood.

>>2716952
That 2002 mini-series on Caesar is also good.

>>2716972
I would really like to see a Passion of the Christ where the Romans are the good guys putting down that evil jew

>>2717282
Heck back then you also had some decent pro-Persia movies by Hollywood back then. Closest I can think of is some early 2000s movie that was about Esther and Xerxes.

>>2717234
I'm pretty sure he's talking about how corny it is that filmmakers always portray ancient world cultures speaking with English ACCENTS, anon.

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>>2717282
>Well the TV series i-

>>2712201
>that foot and knee behind the text
Hannlets, when will they learn?

>>2715104
>>2712862
That only happened because some fucking idiot directors missed the point of the desaturated color of WWII movies and shows like Saving Private Ryan or Band of Bros: they're supposed to mimic the Black and White or Grainy vibe of WWII documentary footage.

Except for some reason that meant HURR GREY = HISTORY.

>>2712856
HBO Rome literally had indians playing the main characters with blacks roaming in the background.

RBO rome was a joke.

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>>2717546
You mean one half Indian half Swiss-Italian playing one character?

She could pass as an Italian honestly, it's no big deal

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>>2717546
>Indians
Literally who, there's only Indira Varma and he's a halfie.

>Hating on prime Indira Varma when most normies just saw her old ass in GOT.

>>2717297

But then people would be whining that they used the wrong accents.

>>2713589
The fuck? we Maltese aren't Italians lmao.

>>2715888
Muh Valkyries!

>>2717649
I'd say even
>muh Boudika

>>2717676
Boudicca was a Celt you dingdong

>>2717649
>muh Lagertha
>muh Hervor
>muh shieldmaidens
But honestly, nothing wrong with all this, there are accounts of female Scandinavian warriors.

>>2711776
I'm sure there are plenty of talented actors with bachelors in ancient Greek and Latin

What accents should they have instead you absolute retard? Italian? Do you think Ancient Romans sounded like bumbling idiots in their own language?

>>2717691
What's the difference? They're all snowniggers

>>2715888
/pol/tards keep going on about "muh female warriors" when that's not even close to the most retarded thing in that show.

>>2717717
What is the most retarded thing there? Just interested.

>>2717729
I almost stopped watching when it showed a Christian bishop ordering the execution of an apostate by dressing him up as Jesus and crucifying him. That's so completely absurd on every possible level I don't even know where to start.

But the worst about that show is that it takes real life events and completely mangles them, not to make them more entertaining which could be understandable, but to make them more lame and boring. Take the Siege of Paris for example. If you read up on it it was actually epic as fuck. But instead they turn every French character into a fat old fart always pissing himself (like 26 year old Odo whose heroism made him so popular that within two years he became the founder of a thousand year long dynasty of kings). I mean I get changing it into a Viking victory, but why then make it so underwhelming by just pitting them against useless shits?

>>2717729
>Everything important that happened in the History of the Viking Raids.
>All happened in this one dude's lifetime.

>>2717759
Inquisition-tier shit in the 800s to even begin with.

>>2713375
Weren't ancient Mesopotamians kind of swarthy?

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>>2717706
let me guess, muh 50% of viking warriors where women

>>2717771
They were kinda like modern Mesopotamians.

>>2717796
Where did I say that?

>>2717804
I doubt they looked like Saddam and shiet. Didn't they share a lot of similarities with the Persians?

>>2717811
As far as I know there never was a big population displacement in mesopotamia so they probably looked the same as then.

>Characters have sex freely like it's the 21st century
Obviously not everyone was chaste, but I refuse to believe that societies that literally killed people for being gay were fuckfests

>>2717811
Persians are Indo-European, Akkadians were Semitic.

>>2717840
What time and place are you talking about? What movies? Fucking idiot, it was different in different societies.

>>2717811
>I doubt they looked like Saddam and shiet.
They looked like Dolph Lundgren obviously, or Idris Elba, depending on who is doing the WE WUZ

>>2717873
Kek

>>2717858
Shit, forgot completely. Yeah, that makes sense.