/his/ humour thread

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>>2694802

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>>2694802

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>>2694802

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>>2694802

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>>2695011

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>>2695015

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>>2695016

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>>2695018

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>>2695022

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>>2695023

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>>2695029

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>>2695030

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>>2695032
last one for now

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Not sure if this was actually on /his/ or not but it fits.

>>2694842
the layers of unintentional humor here are wonderful

>>2695035
lostq

>>2695075
>using our /int/ thread pic
sjeme ti se zatrlo

>>2695030
Can't loose the war if you're fighting for both sides

>>2695023
what about africa?

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>>2694802

>>2695420
Africa had nothing

>>2695029
I always kek to this one.

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>>2696298
>you never win

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>>2695030

>>2695032
>wait ill clear u a path
top kek

>>2695080
sauce on the porn?

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>>2696415
>Plucky little Poland

ded

>>2696466
Fuck if I know, I found that picture in a thread like this a few months ago.

>>2696536
Anyone have the Nazi version of this?

>>2696423
What's that last one about? what war did Britain refuse?

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>>2695032
>meant to type nutsack
Lost

>>2695015
This one always gets me

>>2695011
Hearty kek.

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>>2696680
what's this?

>>2696741
Bersaglieri.

>>2696680
"come on, taitù, that we are starting to get civilized: this one came out white"

>>2696474
To be fair, if they hadn't built it they'd get fucking blindsided when the SoCars arrived as "HMS Dreadnought but better". Seriously, the US designs their first dreadnought before HMS Dreadnought leaves the drawing board and it's got superfiring main armament on both ends while everyone else is fucking around with shit like wing turrets and cross-deck fire. And then they come up with All-or-Nothing armor before WW1 based solely on theory because fuck you pre-WW1 US is god-tier battleship theorists.

[Mahan noises]

>>2695032
Kinda skip the Russian side of the war but 9/10

>>2696237

Whats the story behind this one?

>>2697701
NZ's plans for defending against Japanese invasion.

>>2696466
Piper Perri

>>2697701
In ww2 us kiwis decided we needed to have tanks to defend ourselves from the yellow peril

So we bolted some corrugated iron and a few machine guns to a tractor

Seriously. The idea was dropped when the thing was paraded and the crowd couldnt stop laughing

>>2694962
replace "Soviet" with "American" and you still get the same answer

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>>2696524

>>2696415
The size of the Falklands gets my every fucking time

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>>2694962
>when you meme so hard Americans reverse your meme
Sad!

These threads are always fucking terrible

>>2695018
Holy shit we share the board with the likes of that absolute retard

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>>2694802

>>2695030
America wins again

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>>2696371

>>2698577

Why do they go from the absurd to the eminently reasonable?

>>2698577
Only 30-06 conversion was bad.

>>2698641
Well the open sided magazine was a retarded design decision as well

>>2696588
Assuming its Operation Inherent Resolve
Yknow, ISIS

Three men are sitting in a cell in the KGB headquarters, Dzerzhinsky Square.
The first asks the second why he has been imprisoned, he replies, "Because I criticized Karl Radek."
The first man responds, "But I am here because I spoke out in favor of Radek!"
They turn to the third man who has been sitting quietly in the back, and ask him why he is in jail.
He answers, "I'm Karl Radek."

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>>2700232

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>>2695035
>you know more about goats than you give yourself credit for
This is gold

>>2698698
It was originally designed so that you could check how many bullets you had left. Which would've been cool, except trench warfare is muddy as fuck. Also the magazines were made of pathetically thin metal, so even if they were closed they would've been kinda shit anyway. Having said all that, the other anon is right about the US "sho-sho" conversion model giving the chauchat a bad name in every other respect.

>>2700424
>png

>>2700470
>jpg better then png
stop using a pc pleb

>>2694962
Literally nobody in modern times has ever beaten Afghan goat shaggers.

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>>2695035
This was amazing.

>>2694962
Technically they didn't win, the Russkies just gave up.

>>2695018
I live this so fucking much thank you.

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>>2700502
>taliban used to rule most of afghanistan
>now they don't
>lol can't beat goatshaggers amirite

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>>2700758

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>>2700760

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>>2700763

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>>2700767

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>>2700770

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>>2700773

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>>2700776

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>>2700777

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>>2700783

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>>2700787

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>>2700792

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>>2700796

>>2700773
>/k/.png

>>2698079
>TFW when you really wanted the guy on the rights name

>>2698492
How lovely ! War crimes with children !

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>>2700767

>>2698698
Worked well as an aviation weapon though.

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>>2695035
Fucking lost

>>2696415

>Portugal three times

This is magic

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>>2696345

>>2696345
I can't believe this was a real person. I thought Kaiserreich made him up.

>>2694962
The Mujahdeen were backed by the CIA, so it kills the joke somewhat.

>>2695420
There were sculptors and textile artists at the time, Africa didn't have any significant painters.

>>2700699
They still do and still will when America pulls out properly

>>2701763
Proofs?

>>2701524
The NVA was backed by the USSR too.

>>2701400
Is amazing all the shit that could had happened in another timeline, isn't it?

>>2702987
>backed
That's a bit of an understatement. There were 10,000 Red Army troops actively training, arming and fighting alongside the PLAVN.

>>2695011
too me a moment but keked myself a good one

>>2696298
Foreign troops haven't been on American land since the Spanish American war. We haven't had any existential danger to the country whatsoever since the War of 1812. What the fuck are you on about?

>>2703179
>Spanish American War
World War II.

>>2703185
>Pearl Harbor
>Troops on land
Are you goddamned retarded?

>>2703214
>Aleutian islands
>not part of Alaska
>Guam
>not American land
>Wake
>not American land

Are you?

>>2703238
So what, your contention is that America lost WW2?

>>2703251
>moving the goal posts this far because you were wrong

>>2701763
lel even Helmand which used to be their backyard is patrolled by northern alliance dudes waving around pictures of their great hero mostly famours for killing a whole bunch of people belonging to the tribe that they're policing.

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>>2696371
>Italy

>>2703844
>superior numbers

>>2700502
>the Russkies just gave up
Which is also called "winning"

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>>2704292

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>>2704295

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>>2704298

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>>2704304

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>>2704307

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>>2704310

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>>2704312

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>>2704314

>>2695018
Guy had probably learned that from medieval total war games

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>>2704316

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>>2704321

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>>2704326

Last

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>>2700570
>Technically they didn't win, the Russkies just gave up.

>>2704326
That bit about Southern Whites having Black blood is false. Ain't you ever heard of the one drop rule? All half breeds where absorbed by the Black population.
That's why Modern Afro-Americans are like 30% Euro but the Whites are still mostly pure.

>>2704463
There are more whites with a drop of black in them than there are blacks in America, Cletus.

>>2703255
The starting point was "Although you never win"
Jag tycker att du är full av skit.

>>2704484
>European American genomes being 98.6 percent European, 0.19 percent African and 0.18 percent Native American.
>Other studies show that more than 95% of White Americans have no African or Amerindian ancestry and the 5% who do seem to have very little.

https://www.geneticliteracyproject.org/2015/01/07/claims-that-us-is-a-genetic-melting-pot-appear-overblown-if-youre-white/#.VLhk7xqcWZM.twitter
http://www.radixjournal.com/blog/2015/1/18/white-americans-are-very-white

>>2704395
I've never understood this Pepe yet I always find it funny as hell.

>>2704568
kek

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Sultan Mehmed IV to the Zaporozhian Cossacks:

As the Sultan; son of Muhammad; brother of the sun and moon; grandson and viceroy of God; ruler of the kingdoms of Macedonia, Babylon, Jerusalem, Upper and Lower Egypt; emperor of emperors; sovereign of sovereigns; extraordinary knight, never defeated; steadfast guardian of the tomb of Jesus Christ; trustee chosen by God Himself; the hope and comfort of Muslims; confounder and great defender of Christians - I command you, the Zaporogian Cossacks, to submit to me voluntarily and without any resistance, and to desist from troubling me with your attacks.

--Turkish Sultan Mehmed IV

Zaporozhian Cossacks to the Turkish Sultan:

O sultan, Turkish devil and damned devil's kith and kin, secretary to Lucifer himself. What the devil kind of knight are you, that can't slay a hedgehog with your naked arse? The devil excretes, and your army eats. You will not, you son of a bitch, make subjects of Christian sons; we've no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, fuck your mother.

You Babylonian scullion, Macedonian wheelwright, brewer of Jerusalem, goat-fucker of Alexandria, swineherd of Greater and Lesser Egypt, pig of Armenia, Podolian thief, catamite of Tartary, hangman of Kamyanets, and fool of all the world and underworld, an idiot before God, grandson of the Serpent, and the crick in our dick. Pig's snout, mare's arse, slaughterhouse cur, unchristened brow, screw your own mother!

So the Zaporozhians declare, you lowlife. You won't even be herding pigs for the Christians. Now we'll conclude, for we don't know the date and don't own a calendar; the moon's in the sky, the year with the Lord, the day's the same over here as it is over there; for this kiss our arse!

- Koshovyi Otaman Ivan Sirko, with the whole Zaporozhian Host.

>>2695018
Obvious bait
That thread was just a source (you)s for him

>>2704686
>>2704688
This shit gets me every time lol.
Someone needs to make one with Oliver Cromwell.

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>>2704687

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>>2694802

>>2704729
explanation?

http://www.historynet.com/invasion-of-yugoslavia-waffen-ss-captain-fritz-klingenberg-and-the-capture-of-belgrade-during-world-war-ii.htm

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>>2703978
>"the vietnamese outnumberd us!!!!"
>"we-we won the war
>"the hippies are the reason we ran away"

>>2704920
>Strawmanning on a Loatian teenage girl related cartoon site

>>2704920
/his/ is serious discussion only, not /int/ 9gag tier memery

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>>2695035

>>2695035
brilliant

>>2702897
Not the guy, but a guy from Czech republic who served there as a mayor said shit doesn't move very much and that locals tend to remain with the home groups which are Afghan talibani in this case. So it's quite possible.

ITT: the same shit we have every thread

>>2700502
Literally everyone has. The Afghans always win meme is just a a meme, Russia shellacked that shithole to the stone age and America flattened it as well and put their own puppets in charge.

>>2705062
Even in more ancient times people just didn't think it was ever worth the time to conquer. Why overextend your empire into a shithole with hostile natives that will constantly revolt?

>>2700251
I just knew a version with Trotzky.

>>2695018
>it was all a Civilization meme joke

>>2700783
I can never not laugh at this image.

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>>2704723
Here you go son, I made it just for you. Use it wisely.

>>2704681
shame it's a forgery

>>2704920
That really wasn't whole USA army, i doubt they sent half of their man.

>>2705232
>Cromshill
>not Roundhead
Come on, man.

>>2704736
Arabic word for elephant is pronounced like feel

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>>2694802
>ITT faggots post the same stupid old fucking ifunny and facebook memes
>Hehe le FUNNY anarcho ball meme

>>2698348
This desu

>>2704685
explain

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>>2705519
For you My Lord

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>>2703844
>Humiliated

>North Vietnam & Viet Cong casualties = 65,000 civilian dead
444,000–1,100,000 military dead or missing
600,000+ wounded

>United states casualties - 58,315 dead; 153,303 wounded

huh... makes you think

>>2695071
R O M A
O
M
A

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Own harvest

>>2705137
>tfw you'll never have such bants when you're an old fucker

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/thread

>>2705672
Louis Riel

Bloc Quebecois

>>2705771
There's so much wrong here that the sparkledog doesn't even bother me.

>>2704574
He has the same smug face as that ayn rand-tier philosopher /his/ loves and I can't bother to read

>>2695016
Tuetoburg Forest was an inside job

>>2705792
>modern pistol
>archduke driving his own car
>that blood splatter
>mario

>>2705232
Is there a confederacy one?

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>>2696587
Here it is.

>>2698399
No. America lose again.

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Anyone got the Charles V copypasta including all his titles?

>>2705936
Who is this ?

>>2705771
[STAND POWER]

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>>2706089
Good God, I snorted hard at that.

>>2700699
>Dr. Graevling
as sure a sign of some being right as there ever was
>captcha: Einsten centennial

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>>2695030
>Israel supporting Iran

>>2705541
:(

>>2706246
Iran was the lesser of the two. Remember Saddam did support Hamas and payed for suicide bombers in Israel

>>2696588
Vietnam

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>>2706006

>>2705786
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bcg5rN-jlaw

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>>2700783

>>2700763
this is too obscure even for me

>>2695018
>could do such a travel
>airplanes were invented because it took too much skill to operate a boat

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>>2694802
https://discord.gg/6VC5Unc

>>2695030
>US and USSR both fighting a proxy war against Iran
>US also fighting a proxy war against the USSR to fund another proxy war agaisnt the USSR

The Cold War really was 9-D chess, wasn't it.

>>2706089
THIS MUST BE THE WORK OF AN ENEMY 「STAND」!!

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>>2695018

>>2705693
>>North Vietnam & Viet Cong casualties = 65,000 civilian dead
>444,000–1,100,000 military dead or missing
>600,000+ wounded
And they STILL won.

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>>2707189
>wiping out an entire generation of Vietnamese people leaving behind hundreds of thousands of land mine and chemical agents that turned the whole country into a permanent warzone and basically destroying their gene pool
>then leaving because you got bored and tried to get someone else to do your job
>losing

How many more communists did we need to genocide for us to win?

>>2707390
If there are commies left alive then you have failed.

>>2704685
Louis David Riel was a hero, and Prophet to the New World.

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>>2694968
accurate down to the Red Pants of France

>>2707406
Yeah, interestingly enough, if you go into a village that has 10 commies and kill them all, when you leave the number of commies in the village will not be 0 or even 10 but like 100.

That's the case however powerful your military is.

>>2695011
Lmao

>>2706668
That's the one that always gets me, I cannot wrap my head around the logic he employs here; that we invented flying craft, some of the most sophisticated technology of the modern era, because we collectively forgot about how boats work during the medieval period (according to this loonie's headcanon)

>>2705693
>Lose 1000 planes in Op Rolling Thunder and Linebacker I and II
>Don't have a marked effect on the war at all
>Yeah we won guise

>>2694802
*straft
:^)

>>2708788
The wording is litterally "Gott strafe England".
In translation, "May God punish England"

>>2708802
Unless you're god, you should be saying straft instead of strafe

>>2708805
I don't get it

>>2708807
In german, depending on who the subject of the clause is, the verb changes. So the verb strafen breaks down into:
ich (I) strafe
du (you) strafst
er/sie/es (he/she/it) straft
etc. etc.

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>>2695035
sides lost

>>2708822
Yeah that's right, but you only described the indicative form.
"strafe" may be first person indicative, but it can also be third person subjunctive (Konjunktiv 1), as it is in "Gott strafe England"

>>2705771
what hahahah
what the fuck hahah
lord jesus take me

>>2703238
Unless its mainland continental most americans don't consider it "american soil"

>>2706037
Tirol.

>>2705771
It really just gets worse the longer I look at it

>>2705693
>exaggerate enemy casualties
>minimize own casualties

The cold-war failed invasion classic.

>>2708765
>America losing thousands of aircraft on air campaigns against civilians

This is so good

>>2695011
Too soon

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Did the Romans use this tactic?

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>>2705936
>>2709570
Btw. Are there any alt-right meme-ball templates?

>>2711484
This has got to be the most atrociously awful thing I have seen this year. Why are you in formation, if you aren't going to use that formation?

>>2711484
God those movies were awful

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>>2705541
>come onto /his/ to escape confusion in my life
>see this
I wish I could give you a three shoe beating

>>2711537
can someone post that gif that shows a map of german populations in 1945 western Poland getting swept away by a dust broom

>>2711598
>>2705541
Why is "escapism" supposed to be a bad thing. What are we going to do instead in an ideal world, Avoid any type of enjoyment whatsoever?

>>2700424
The peltast gets me every time.

>>2706577
Lilibutlero was commonly a used fife and drum marching song of the British military. Think March of the Grenadiers but even more gay.

>>2694989
underrated

>>2700798
What/who was the kid's crush in the original?

>>2694842
That's he used another way
>>2694962
That's not the red army in your pic

>>2695071
Thats fucking beautiful

>>2698154
Can never not take the piss outta'em

>>2711850
>"""red"""army
[stands in breadline]

>>2711484
This one just gets me every time.

>>2711901
As a stumpyboo I like it because it results in many dead elves

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>>2695030
OC

>>2711537
ohifuckingdiedmysides

>>2696415
>Borneo?

had a lmao

>>2695071
This one is still the best thing I have ever seen.

>>2696466
Fucking cuckold, no surprise that people on /his/ ask this

>>2704688
It was burgers who supported Khmer Rouge after Pol Pot was kicked out by Vietnam

>>2705337
the second guy is socrates not plato though

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>>2714851
AAAAAAHHHHH
HAHAHAHHHA

>>2715159
nice /leftypol/ meme derived from communist tendencies

>>2696466
C U C K
U
C
K

>>2696371
>>2703906
>>2705693
>>2707189
>>2707390
>>2708765
>>2709886
Everyone's forgetting they won against France, China and also liberated Cambodia from the Red Khmers.

>>2711829
some furry faggot

>>2705900
>>2705792
>>2705771
>his wife isn't there

>>2707523
Maurras?

>>2696466

piper perri 5 bbc

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>>2700502

>>2707390
>then leaving because you got bored and tried to get someone else to do your job
anglos believe this

A reactionary, counterrevolutionary Vendean and Aristocrat was teaching a class on Joseph de Maistre, known ultramontane.

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Christ the King and accept that absolute monarchs ruling by divine grace are the only righteous form of government, even greater than republicanism !”

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, Grande Armee soldier who had fought over six coalitions and understood the necessity of revolutionary terror and fully supported the merciless execution of nobles and priests stood up and held up a copy of the Constitution of the Year I.

"Where is sovereignty vested, Citizen?"

The Aristocrat smirked quite Bourbonishly and smugly replied “in the throne, you stupid jacobin”

”Wrong. Under the Republic, and then our fairly appointed Emperor Napoleon who rules by the will of the people, France has reached untold greatness and made herself the premier power in all of Europe. If, as you say, executive power rightly belonged to the royal family, then Louis XVIII should have been restored to his throne by now."

The Nobleman was visibly shaken, and dropped his fleur de lis and copy of Memoirs Illustrating the History of Jacobinism. He stormed out of the room crying those false royalist tears. The same tears royalists cry for the Dauphin” (who was imprisoned in such luxury that it took him two years to die).

The students applauded, joined the Jacobin Club that day and accepted Napoleon as l'Empereur. A revolutionary named “Marat” stumbled into the room and collapsed atop the arc de triomphe and bled on the Declaration of the Rights of Man. La Marseillaise was sung several times, and Robespierre himself showed up and enacted universal male suffrage.

The aristocrat was guillotined the next day and nothing happened after that because the afterlife is a myth created by the Church to keep free men and women under the despotism of the king.

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Forsooth Gentlemen,

I goeth forth with the title John, and the bounds of my abhorrence bridgeth to each and every one of thee. Thou all appear to be corpulant, feeble-minded roustabouts who spendeth all of days observing nonsensical parchments. Thou are the embodiment of all that is foul in the relm. Hark! Hast thou ever engaged in coitus? Surely, I cannot deny, thy can findeth joy in dishonouring other townsfolk when shortcomings are noted, although the breadth to which thy will venture is striking. 'Tis no better than engaging in onanism to private tapestry.

Remain conspicious no more. Attempt to smite me with the hardiest of your arsenal. I claim almost complete accomplishment. I held captaincy of the King's joust troupe, His Majesty's archery band. Proclaim, which acts of whimsy dost thou simulate? In exception to "Relaxing in a gentlemanly way to scribed Easternfolk"? I also excelleth in scholarly pursuits and my wench is a handsome specimen indeed (She just offered a glance of the ankle, 'twas remarkably remuneration). Thou art, every one of thou, gentlemen of lighter colour for whom an act of self-immolation is, surely, the only privelage. My gratitude.

Parchment appropriate, tis myself and my wench.

>be 13
>I admire Robespierre so much
>I know all his quotes
>All evenings I pray to Robespierre
>I thank him for the Republic that we've been given, by our Creator
>"Robespierre is love, Robespierre is the Revolution", I say
>My father gets mad and calls me a faggot
>He's jealous of my devotion to the Terror
>He slaps me and sends me to my room
>I cry because it hurts
>I lie on my bed
>A warmth is moving towards me
>I feel something touch me
>It's Maximilien Marie Isidore de Robespierre
>I am so happy
>He whispers in to ear, "it's time for Terror"
>He makes me lie down on the bed
>I'm ready
>I spread my ass cheeks for the Revolution
>He penetrates me with his incorruptible dick
>It hurts, but I do it for la Republique
>I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water
>He pushes farther
>I want to please Maximilien
>He roars "Despotism!" while he fills me with his fraternity
>My dad walks in
>Maximilien looks him in the eye and says "The Revolution is the war of liberty against its enemies."
>He leaves through my window
>Maximilien Robespierre is life, Maximilien Robespierre is the Revolution
>Next morning, I find my dad decapitated

When it comes to gunpowder, nobody knows gunpowder better than me. I have the best gunpowder. The best. But look folks, the Mongolians have been definetely outsmarting our politicians at warfare. It's terrible. When Mongolia sends its people, they're not sending their best. They're sending people that have lots of problems, and they're bringing those problems to us. They're bringing horse archers. They're bringing lootings. They're rapists. And some, I assume, are good people. We need to build a wall. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate Mongolia. I love Mongolia. I have great relationships with the Mongolian people. But what they have been doing to our villages and farms is just... terrible. Terrible. Sad! Don't worry though, folks. Confucianism is going to come back. And it's going to come back greater and stronger than ever before. It's gonna be yuge, believe me. We're going to make China great again.

[insert an image of a Chinese emperor with trump wig here (image limit reached)]

When it comes to religious zealotry, nobody knows religion better than me. I have the best religion. The best. But look folks, the Spaniards have been definetely outsmarting our politicians at warfare. It's terrible. When Spain sends its people, they're not sending their best. They're sending people that have lots of problems, and they're bringing those problems to us. They're bringing smallpox. They're bringing lootings. They're rapists. And some, I assume, are good people. We need to build a bigger sacrificial temple. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate Spain. I love Spain. I have great relationships with the Spanish people. But what they have been doing to our villages and farms is just... terrible. Terrible. Sad! Don't worry though, folks. Quetzalcoatl is going to come back. And it's going to come back greater and stronger than ever before. It's gonna be yuge, believe me. We're going to make Tenochtitlan great again.

>>2705040
>Czech republic
Literally the best country in europe, not joking. It's still pure in a certain sense

>>2705640
The rule it's 25 tho
still I'll save it and use it 10 years from now.
Reported in the meantime

>>2698348
You haven't been to a /mu/ thread it's depressing how bad it is probably one of the worst places on this website