Name a cuter historical figure
Protip: you can't
>>2653276
Young Putina.
>Checkmate
That petite Spanish Catholic royal qt (what's her name?)
>>2653330
You called?
Napoleanne.
>>2653434
Oh my!
>>2653330
>>2653352
These are both good posts
>>2653434
What are they hiding from us?
>>2653434
Nappy, i...
>>2653450
>X files music plays in the background
Hear her voice as it's rolling and ringing through me
Soft and sweet
>>2653532
Bumping with based drawfag in the hope he sees this and draws us some Joan of Ark
>>2653434
well fug
>>2653276
Maude Fealy
>>2653276
Looks like a weeaboo chick I knew in high school
>>2653276
khutulun
I'd fug any of the Mitford sisters. This is just a bad photo of Unity (top left).
>>2653276
You got me there, I can't.
>>2653276
>>2653532
Don't post Anne Frank here. All the /mu/tants will come and post their sick ass pregnancy/Holocaust fetis-
>>2653884 Fuck. Too late already.
>>2654425
and with their country it means mongolia
turkey is rightful greek/celt/armenian land
>>2654672
and kurdish
>Not even the cutest Frenchwoman
>tfw ywn wake up in a field in the middle of france
>ywn see Joan of Arc asking if you're alright in that frog language you can't understand
>ywn go through the process of learning the language and learning what her quirks are
>she will never kiss you under a romantic moonlight
>>2654809
D-Drawfag.. Is that you?
alright but besides all this, we can objectively agree that Hitler was right about the jews, right? Just look at Sweden last night
>>2654826
unfortunately for both of us...no
>>2654809
>Joan of Arc
>MILF
She never had children though
>>2654834
If you went back in time you could of given her some
>>2654830
>haven't heard from him in almost two weeks
>have no idea whether he's got a whole gallery of stuff done or is just kicking back and relaxing for now
>>2654841
what if he's dead
>>2654844
What if he's actually gone back in time to fuck Joan D'Arc?
>>2654835
B-But if I did that, she wouldn't fulfill her destiny of becoming France's greatest martyr because she'd be busy taking care of the kids.
It's not like with Anne Frank, where's she's stuck in one place and you can put a few kids in her and still keep the timeline intact. For all we know that could've friggin' happened with Anne and the kid just got adopted and her father scrubbed all references to it from her diary.
>>2654859
why not become a stay at home father?, while she conquers the battlefield you conquer her in the bedroom
>>2654844
>dubs
GODDAMNIT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
>>2653276
>Cuter historical figure?
not a historical figure but this is the cutest historical photo
I know you're here, anon.
>>2654892
I am genuinely in love with Anne Frank. She was beautiful, witty, and graceful young woman whose light was snuffed out far too early.
I often fantasize about being Peter van Pels hiding with her.
Oh god, just imagine deflowering that sweet girl on a lazy Amsterdam afternoon, lying and learn what each other's bodies were for.
Imagine nine months later, she's got a massive bulging stomach from carrying your child inside of her and it seems like she’s gonna pop any moment now. Her popped belly button makes it look like she's got a giant third boob where her stomach once was. She waddles around and can barely move half of the time. She's developed an insatiable craving for your dick and you've likewise developed a taste for her pussy. You’re both cooped up in an attic all day have nothing better to do besides fuck like an unsustainable third world population. You lie down on your back, she strips off her almost comically too small clothes and kneels on top of you. She grabs a hold of your rock hard cock, inserts it deep inside of her, and begins to ride you like a stallion. You feel the pressure from her incredible weight and huge round belly bearing down on you but the indescribable pleasure of her tight pussy throbbing on you cock negates any discomfort. You sink into her beautiful soul, into that secret place where no one dares to go. After 30 minutes, you and her are both moaning with ever greater intensity, you know it won't be long now. Suddenly, you feel your cock shaking like a V-2 rocket and the orgasm reaches it's climax as your cum literally explodes like an 88mm AT round inside her Sherman tank, blowing the turret right off. You and her both join as one, souls screaming from the sheer ecstasy. As the elation wears off, she lies next to you. Too exhausted to do anything else, you simply hold her in your embrace. In that moment, there is no family squabbles, no Nazis, no war. Just you and her, watching the sky turn pink with the setting sun.
>>2655114
You dream of the beautiful face you have found in this place. So soft and sweet.
One day you will both die and your ashes will fly from an aeroplane over the sea.
But for now you are young and all you want is lay in the sun, and count every beautiful thing you can see. Love to be in the arms of all you’re keeping here with you.
What a beautiful dream that could flash on the screen in a blink of an eye
>>2655117
Suddenly, you awaken from your slumber to the sound of a bloodcurdling scream. You open your eyes to darkness, it takes a split second for your vision to readjust. You feel lonely and cold. Another shriek knocks you back into reality. Anne sitting next to you, clutching her belly, face contorted from pain. A foul smelling fluid lies pooled on the floor around her mid-section. Your hot dirty fuckfest has brought on labor. she cries your name, begging for help, begging for you. The noise. She’s louder than a line of Louisiana Tigers giving the Rebel Yell right now. You raise your finger to your lips to tell her to be quiet. But the agony is too much for her to bear. You’ve got to do something or else it will awaken the entire neighborhood and with it, the Nazis. Suddenly you remember the bulge in your pants. You’ve got morning wood. It’s not the best gag, but it will have to do. You stand up, squat like a slav, using her belly as an impromptu stool, grab your still cum-crusted cock, and shove it right inside her mouth. At first, she tries to scream even louder in surprise, but your circumcised 100% Kosher dong blocks her windpipe, reducing her screams to a barely audible gurgle. Suffering from unbearable pain, she bites down on her your meat with each contraction. Now you’e in pain too. With each contraction, she bites down harder, it feels like she’s gonna tear your cock right off. Eventually, the pain subsides for her and she doesn’t bite down as much. Now it seems almost as if she’s starting to enjoy it. You can feel your child kick on your testicles. Clearly it’s excited too. Suddenly, your cock starts to shake like a V-2 again, you pull it out of her mouth just in time. You bust your steaming hot and sticky load, blanketing her like an incendiary carpetbombing of Dresden. Semen stains her mountaintops (all three of them), along with her hair and most of her face. She quietly giggles from the ironic amusement of it all. You giggle too.
>>2655120
Then a look of sharp pain shoot across her face. She’s having your baby. You wish you could bear all the pain for her, but all you can do is sit and watch. You look down at her vulva, still oozing with cum from that great fucking you gave her a few hours ago. You can see a head of black hair poking out. You fear that she’s gonna start screaming again, much to your relief, it seems that she’s gotten better control of the pain, thanks to you. She begins to softly moan, it seems as if instead of experiencing excruciating agony, she’s experiencing an orgasm. You can’t help but grin as she keeps pushing. As more of the head becomes visible, her moaning intensifies. Finally a small head emerges from her vagina. You can see a face wrapped in an umbilical cord. A small pair of hands grab the head, she weakly tries to pull the head out. You put your hands around the head and begin to help her pull. Desperately, she goes into the next contraction with all of her energy, and pushed with everything inside of her. She feels everything. She feels shoulders and hips and feet all slide down inside of her and pop out in one long push, with a rush of fluid behind it, and it feels amazing. She throws her head back with a rip-roaring orgasm that penetrates the very heart of her soul.
>>2655122
You look at the newborn now lying on the floor and see that it is a boy. You have a son. Perfect, perfect in every way. He begins to stir and you realize he’s about to cry. After all that’s happened, you don’t to given away to the Germans from the wails of a newborn. You gently lift him up and place him on Anne’s semen stained mountaintops. The baby quickly finds the breast is soon sucking happily. Semen, blood, amniotic fluid, breastmilk all mix and fill the air with a strange scent that while repulsive, is also extremely arousing. You can’t resist the urge anymore. Your mouth land on top of Anne’s opposite breast, sucking first your own cum, but then her tasty milk. You look into her eyes, she’s somewhat annoyed, but too exhaust to really care. A gust of wind coming from a hole in the wall blows through, cooling both of your sweat-drenched bodies, but also disturbing the little one. You’re afraid he’ll start shivering. You look around the dusty attic for something to keep the baby warm. You settle on Anne’s fur winter jacket, having sat unused for the past two years. You know Anne will definitely not be happy that you ruined her favorite coat, but it’s for the best. She hasn’t been able to fit in it for the past nine months anyway. You carefully wrap your little one in the coat and hand him to an exhausted Anne, she continues to quietly feed him. You notice the dead silence for the first time, not even the other occupants of the Annex, mere feet away in the next room, were roused. You feel a sense of relief. You’re safe, for the moment at least. Eventually you curl up next to her quietly and begin to doze off. Your secret sleeps in winter clothes. Tomorrow, you can find a way to explain the night’s events to your parents and hope they don’t kill each other. You can somehow find a way to get your little bundle of joy to safety. But tonight, you just rest, your first night as a family.
>>2655124
Oh god, just thinking about this is making me rock hard. The hardest I’ve ever gotten. Oh, I think I’m gonna… I’m gonna-
*Cums in Diary*
>>2654861
But children require a mother's touch and love as much as they do the father's.
Also, having kids might leave her distracted/less physically fit to fight (fitness is probably the most crucial in hand-to-hand fighting),
>tfw you will never protect that smile
>>2654425
Stupid conservative twat.
Joan of Arc was fighting the English, the union of the crowns didn't take place till the 18th century. Scotland was an important French ally.
>>2654662
I have no idea what you're talking about, friend.
>>2654809
>ywn earn her trust
>ywn subvert and sabotage the french campaign
>ywn lend victory to the English
Feels bad man
>>2655801
>an englishman finally expresses a feeling about something for the first time in recorded history
>it's about missing an opportunity to be absolutely perfidious
>>2655402
i'm an englishman, i shouldn't feel what i feel for joan. it's absolutely treasonous
>>2654859
>For all we know that could've friggin' happened with Anne and the kid just got adopted and her father scrubbed all references to it from her diary.
That would be one helluva conspiracy. And it would be the shitstorm of the century if it got out. Could you even begin to imagine the shitfest that would ensue if it turned out Anne Frank had given birth in secret and that self-righteous pricks who make millions every year peddling her diary to goyim had gone to extensive (and illegal) lengths to cover it up?
>>2655013
That girl is dead now.
>>2653352
>>2653444
>>2653319
Is this legal to view in Russia?
>>2656486
Speaking of offspring... What if the Jews were to clone Anne Frank and start a new religion based in the adoration of her? Only to murder her and blame it on the goyim for maximum profit? Then she comes back from the dead and rules the world as the antichrist...
>>2654839
She could get it.
>>2656591
She's already held up as a Christ-like martyr so why not? They'd still need to dig up her body though to get the DNA.
Alternatively, they could pull a reverse Muhammad and have her children rule a Caliphate.
>>2654834
This. I don't understand why they would ruin the best thing about her.
>>2656624
An intact hymen?
>>2654859
We live in the timeline where she escaped and became the Queen of England though.
>>2654859
Yeah I'm sure a 14 year old giving birth to a baby in an addict isn't going to raise suspicion.
>>2656628
She rode a horse and was pretty physical so I doubt that.
>>2656642
Wouldn't be the first jew born via parthenogenesis.
>>2656582
Probably not, but what's Putina going to do about it? Put me in a work camp with other homosexuals in Chechenya? He can try.
>>2656642
>addict
I don't think she was hiding with any meth junkies. In fact, she was indirectly killed by one (Adolf Hitler). Anyway...
They could alway sneak her out for that part, leave the newborn with a Christian family, and send her back once she had recovered. And since only a handful of people actually met Anne Frank from 1942-1944, a coverup is feasible, so long as everyone involved keeps their mouth shut. And there have been numerous documented cases of Holocaust survivors who gave birth while in hiding.
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2010/jan/27/holocaust-memorial-day-martin-stern
Also let's be honest, weirder shit has happened nigga.
pic related, she was born INSIDE Auschwitz and wound up living as a Palestinian.
>>2656642
Eight people living in an industrial building is already pretty fucking suspicious. A 14 year old popping out a ninth wouldn't be that much more suspicious.
Anne Frank looks like a shrill Jewess.
>>2656873
t. /pol/tard mongrel
>>2654809
that's..that's..that's a horrible feel
>>2656654
This. If you cut a jew's arm off, a new arm grows in its place and a new Jew is born from the severed arm. Only by cutting its head off, driving a stake through its heart and incinerating the body can you kill a Jew.
>>2655406
The English weren't of Britain? Asking a foreigner to make such semantic considerations is nitpicking, at best.
>>2654828
>Sweden
>blonde white woman
>in between two brown males
Futurama dropping a covert red-pill.
>>2653434
My empress
Charlotte Corday has always been my historyfu. Her beauty was noted at the time and she had bigger balls than most any man thought history
>>2657624
*Through out
>>2653276
easy
>>2653276
>>2653276
>yfw she's probably been dead for decades
>>2653434
LIBERTY GUIDE MY DICK
>>2654809
What the fuck is that french supposed to be
>>2655124
So, is this a meme born on /his/ or from somewhere else?
>>2653330
here you have spanish young nobleman
>>2658289
It started on /pol/ and spread via >>>/r/the_donald
pic related, was the original thread
>>2658354
and young isabelle of castile
>>2658358
I thought it was a /mu/ meme. I mean the name field literally says Jeff Mangum.
>>2658365
/mu/ wants nothing to do with it thank you very much
>>2658377
Too late. Way too late.
>>2658365
I think it was a /mu/tant who posted it first on /pol/ (presumably to piss them off) and then posted it on /mu/ to show off his handiwork
Protip: I can
>>2658387
I'd check the archive, but it's down and now I can't do shit.
>>2658354
ah jeez
>>2658365
You seen the real Jeff Mangum has seen it by now?
>>2658354
>>2653434
There is a universe where against all odds an autistic qt Corsican girl becomes the absolute brutal ruler of Europe keeping the Duke of Wellington as her personal fuckboy
Which historical figure had the biggest/best tits? I need to know the answer to this.
>>2658449
WHY DO I GET STUCK IN THE ABOVE AVERAGE TIMELINES
>>2653276
I cant
>>2658365
All memes aside i saw nmh live a few years ago and boy are they solid. They did a little ipmrov in between songs and its was seriously 10/10 fantastic. They also write songs just for specific tours.
>>2658559
Have they ever done any songs on the American Civil War? I mean, several of band members, including Mangum himself are Southerners so you'd think they would do a few songs on the subject of the South's titular struggle.
>>2658354
>ywn have your nation conquered by conquistadoras who then breed with your peoples men to form a new race.
>>2656526
>>2658589
>when your Civil War autism causes you to realize the freak who wrote >>2655114 was clever enough to leave a subtle reference to Jeff Mangum being a Southerner with the "Louisiana Tigers (aka 1st Special Battalion, Louisiana Volunteer Infantry) giving the Rebel Yell" line. Coincidentally, the Tigers initially wore a Zouave uniform with striped blue and white pants not dissimilar from the striped pajama-style prison garb in Nazi concentration camps.
>you will always be second to God in her heart
It hurts
>>2658521
why is my cock suddenly trying to pierce the very fabric of reality
I don't even know this woman.
>>2656526
So is the guy, your point?
>>2659363
It just makes you tear up is all. How time keeps rolling leaving all of us in the dust eventually.
I'm crying now.
>>2658521
Whats the appeal? She looks like a man
>>2659380
It's one fag obsessed with her has posted her literally any time a waifu thread (or anything where she could even tangentially be inserted) shows up on /his/ going back to the board's creation. Always with the same picture too.
>>2659385
Its called a meme, are you just catching on now?
Florence Nightingale is the superior waifu.
>you will never be a blinded British soldier recovering from shrapnel wounds in a Crimean hospital
>you will never wake up to the feeling of your hands being bound to the thin metal bars of your bed
>you will never hear a familiar, angelic voice whisper in your ear and tell you everything's going to be fine
>Nightingale will never ride out all of her accumulated stress on your dick while you writhe beneath her, blind but consumed with pleasure
>she will never quietly begin slip off you and begin to pedantically clean the stains of your lovemaking off the two of you
>you will never hear her return ask how your condition is the next morning without letting a hint of guilt slip into her voice
>female hitler has blue eyes and blonde hair
MY BRAINBUDS ARE POSITIVELY BURSTING OUT OF THEIR SOCKETS LADS
I'm in love with Joan of Arc.
>>2658521
muh dick.
>>2653276
I know a girl whose face is exactly like the smiling one's and she has german descend. What does that say about Joan of Arc?
>>2659987
that the french and g*rmans, two groups of people who have lived in proximity to one another for millennia, look similar? who would have thought?
>>2656711
God bless america and the massive overpriced huge fucking insane defense budget.
>>2653434
>>2657550
Dayum! Ike look'n like that?
>>2659987
that really activates my almonds
>>2654809
>no armor protecting the army (the body part you're most likely to lose in sword combat)
>>2655114
Not exactly History but female Harry Styles
Female Obama
>>2659987
Its almost as if white people inhabit both those lands
>>2656573
I want to protect his smile
Wasn't Joan kind of a hefty girl IRL? I seem to remember reading that somewhere.
>>2659629
No mustache
>>2653276
H.U.G., though more for personality than anything.
>>2664364
She would've had to be. Chain mail alone can weigh up to 40lbs, nevermind the armor plating, helmet, and weapon.
>>2653276
Joan of arc=cutest pie
>>2664418
>>2654809
What kind of parent would Joan of Arc have been if she had survived, married, and lived a normal life the war? The kind that abhors violence and tries to shield their child from it? Or the kind that exposes their child to the harsh realities of the world from early age to teach them to be ready to defend themselves?
>>2653884
>>2664496
Id have a feeling she'd try her best to be a good mother but fails a lot, simply because no one ever taught her. But when things would get tough and she was really needed, her maternal instincts would kick in and she'd do the exact right thing.
In short, she'd be a little unorthodox and clumsy, but absolutely a 10/10 mother.
>>2653884
>>2653884
/his/, would you consider Joan of Arc a tomboy?
>>2664616
Nah. Isn't Joan quoted as saying she would prefer to do what is typically expected of a peasant woman, but she cannot deny the calling of God to save her country?
>>2655114
I know for a fact that this is not the only image of pregnant Anne Frank
>>2664677
*sighs*
Here, have at it. But you have to jack off to it while listening to Tennessee Ernie Ford's entire Civil War Songs Of The South album. If I'm gonna risk another ban for uploading pregnant Anne Frank porn, I want to make my ancestors proud while I'm at it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsAIYPzW4wE
>>2664757
is there more