History JUST moments

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>beat hitler
>immediately get CLEMMED

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>>2605709
I found it interesting how they got rekt by the Portugese but managed to beat the Dutch in a few centuries (even though the Dutch had a much superior navy than most others at the time).

But here's another one OP. Can somebody post that Chinese-British one?

>>2605709
How

>>2605751
They got comfy and didn't industrialize like most of the world.

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>>2605766
Thanks.

Here's another one. This battle was between the Ottoman Empire (which had a force of 10,000) and the Serbian Empire. the Bulgarian Empire, the Banate of Bosnia, the kingdom of Hungary and some European crusaders sent by the Pope (the entirety of the force was between 30,000 to 60,000).

The Balkan troops lost about eight times the soldiers that the Ottomans did (they lost about 1000 men) and Serbs got JUST so hard, this battle was called Sırp Sındığı or "Destruction of the Serbs".

The Ottomans were nigh invincible in their hay day. They deserve a lot more credit on 4chan desu.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_S%C4%B1rp_S%C4%B1nd%C4%B1%C4%9F%C4%B1

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>>2605709
Another one for the Portuguese.

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>>2605709
JVST

>>2605721
>one of the soldiers who fought in your campaign usurps you
JUST

>>2605721
>Churchill beat Hitler
the soviets, americans and canadians could've won without britain

>>2605791
ROACHES GET OUT REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>2605721
That's the beauty of it. Churchill fought to save democracy, then was immediately voted out.

>>2607329
I have a gut feeling this is not a real wiki article

>>2605709
Forgive me but what is a JUST moment? I've looked it up to no avail.

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>>2607184
b-but muh katanas

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>April 30th, 1945

>>2605751

shittier ships, lack of cannon

>>2607489
Der Untergang is pure JUSTkino

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> At one point in history, the British Empire was the Combine.

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>Nice try, Englishman, but watch this! T.E Lawrence ain't got shit me.

>When you JUST the entire British-Belgian colonial armies with a few dozen German officers and men and a couple thousand locals.

>>2607329
>/r/The_Donald
I hate these guys, they think they are /pol/.

>>2605747
w-woah

so this is why serbs are eternally butthurt by muslims?

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>>2605709

Oh Serbs, never change.

>>2607580
They ARE /pol/. Proper /pol/ vanished once they introduced flags and ID's.

>>2607682
I really fucking hate them, they sperge out and leak to other boards. Why must le reddit do this to us? Haven't we suffered enough?

>>2605751
Cochin was in the middle of a lagoon, which required a lot of ford-crossing for any invading armies. Portuguese ships could fire cannons like a motherfucker, and had the added bonus of being protected by pillows and extra wooden planks on the hull which effectively negated all the Indian cannons save for like 2 that were secretly built by two Venetian engineers who snuck over to the subcontinent with one of the Portuguese armadas.

Over the course of several battles they held the invading army back at fords, and honestly were just lucky with their speed and maneuvering in a lot of places. Cholera spread in the enemy camps which killed like 3 times as many as the battles. Plus, there were no secrets in the invading army's camp. Despite the area being a lagoon, it was populated by a ton of villages, so you had villagers listening in and then sprinting off to tell the Portuguese. Meanwhile the Portuguese spoke Portuguese so the villagers there could only snoop and report on what they were physically doing.

Also, the Portuguese had Duarte Pacheco Pereira there, an age of exploration superhero.

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>>2607580

>>2605709
>>2608007
Jesus fucking Christ. I mean it's incredible to look at the casualty figures but reading through the actual course of the battle really just hammers home how ridiculous it was. 150 men holding off 60 000 for 4 months, with plenty of active combat, without a single fatality. 4 Fucking boats fending off waves of 20 at a time while simultaneously firing on the beach to prevent artillery crews from forming there. Shuttling your men between two fords as the tide changes because one is only accessible at high tide while the other is only accessible at low tide. Fighting off several thousand men and dozens of ships over the course of two assaults with only a day to prepare. And during all of this, Duarte manages to find the time to write a groundbreaking book on navigation and the tides.

I thought you were exaggerating when you said Pereira was a superhero but Jesus Christ you were not.

Honestly reading the bit about how the Raja gave Duarte a coat of arms based on his exploits in the battle and was all cut up when he had to return to Portugal gave me feels.

I seriously want to see this battle televised. Not as a movie, you'd be left with less than 10 minutes per assault, but maybe as a 1-hour-per-episode kinda miniseries, with each episode covering an assault (with some covering the breaks in assaults where appropriate). This is now my dream series.

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Stop bullying India

>>2608007
>so you had villagers listening in and then sprinting off to tell the Portuguese.

Wait how could they tell them anything if the villagers did not speak their language? And sounds like it was a well-played game of tower defense if im understanding it correctly.

>>2608743
Interpreters, anon. Knowing more than your native tongue was very uncommon except for the upper classes and merchants, of which peasants are neither. But the Portuguese had access to all the resources a minor king could muster, which no doubt included interpreters. Or else, the Portuguese had some among their number who learned the native tongue and functioned as their own interpreters.

>>2607352
It's short for Just Fuck My Shit Up

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>fantasize about a glorious Scottish trading Empire
>hear that there's a place in Panama with excellent conditions
>decide to invest half my country's wealth into colonizing it
>send thousands of settlers to establish the colony
>turns out the Darien gap is a hellhole
>nearly all the settlers die including my wife and child
>brings about financial ruin for the country of Scotland
>after I escape back to Scotland I urge my now broke country to form the UK with England
>been cucked ever since

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Both went JUST

>>2608471
Do you know how bad it is on that board? There are bots and all sorts of people coming in and trying to create chaos. It is quite sad actually.

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>>2605709
>T H I R T E E N S H I P S

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>>2605709
rhodesians made all their equipment themselves and still btfo half of southern africa.

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>>2607329
>casualties: a lot of time time, my sides

>>2607682
/mlpol/ proved otherwise

>>2607593
Delet this

>>2607358
I dont understand this post. Wasnt this battle a weeb victory?

>>2608885
Scotland and India have the distinction of being two countries who were totally undone by the English and have really never recovered from it. Well, the Indians have recovered a little, I guess.

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>>2605709
All green areas have ottoman influence, except bulgaria. We rule them 400 years, but they are still shit...

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>be King of Aragon
>small army of crusaders invades my kingdom because of some bullshit heresy
>massively outnumber them
>wise and experienced advisor tells me to take a defensive position and wear the enemy down with arrows/javelins before they can even reach my army
>"No! That's unknightly and dishonorable!"
>ignore him completely and personally lead a direct cavalry charge wearing the armor of a common soldier
>cavalry immediately gets annihilated and I get ripped off my horse
>"No! Wait! B-but I'm the kin-"
>killed on the spot
>entirely army flees

Peter II commands an army like a 10 year old playing a Total War battle for the first time

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>>2611175
He should have known better than to shelter, or otherwise ignore, heresy. The Church doesn't have time for that shit.

>>2607329
>Axis
cringe

>>2605791
>>2607324
Janissaries were Europeans though and not Turkic.

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>>2607277
>americans and canadians

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>>2607329

>>2611267
I don't get it, r/the_donald is mostly alt-lite, they don't browse stormfront or hard altright websites

>>2611267
>no BLACKED logo

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>>2611284

>>2611275
Are you listening to yourself?

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>>2611267
>>2611298
>4chan
rly makes u think...

>>2607184
>Japanese victory
Victory is an odd concept.

>>2611127
Not much of a victory if you lose hundreds of men trying to kill 40 people.

>>2611175

>"No! Wait! B-but I'm the kin-"
>killed on the spot

Look it up
>Unsourced on Wikipedia
>It actually comes from a medieval chanson where the king and the count see a bunch of soldiers fleeding and they ordered them to stay and fight.

>>2611111
oh rome how low have you fallen

>>2611169
Well obviously Turks are going to wash their hands more, they wipe the shit off with their bare hands.

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>be Rommel
>get humiliated by exiled forces

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How do the Italians manage to die of frostbite during summer?

>>2611136
But that's just wrong you history illiterate mongoloid.

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The voyage of the Baltic fleet in the Russia-Japan war.
Basically Britain closed of access to the Suez Canal to Russia for destroying its ships (and during this attack the Russian destroyed some of their own ships because of mistaken identity) so the Baltic fleet had to navigate around the west coast of Africa.
It then needed to make a stop in Madagascar for fueling and during that stop someone died of disease so the crew needed to then hold a funeral.
It finally navigated to Japan after seven months and upon reaching it was destroyed almost immediately by the Japanese navy.

It's like something out of Coen Brothers movie

>>2611848
>Traveled seven months to the destination just for getting BTFO by the Japs

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>>2611789

The real question of the day is how they lost a submarine in a alpine battle...

>>2607352
Gob-smacking moments.

>>2611870
newfags get out

>>2607251
But we don't know the strenvth of the other force...

>>2611238
greatest ally

>>2607329
>Republican party vs Republican party
Oh yus.

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>>2605709
Well @realDonaldTrump, at least I will go down as a president!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FkIJEmOyoA

>>2611878
Is my description inaccurate?

>>2611884
ENTIRE
ARMY
DESTROYED

>>2611175
Bad English translation
He said, "Here is your King!", showing defiance in the face of death.

>>2607329
this is sad, do they actual believe this?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Cartagena_de_Indias

>>2611238
It reminds me of that time during the Russo-Turkish Wars where the Russians kept thrashing the Turks in battle but then died by the tens of thousands to disease and lack of food in Crimea, which along with their allies getting TURK'D and the oncoming of another war forced them to sue for peace.

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>>2605791

THEN THE WINGED HUSSARS ARRIVED

>>2607337
>UK democracy was in danger.

Maybe from Churchill himself.

>>2611783
Holy shit, can I have some context for the battle?

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>it's just some Albanians, what could go wron-

>>2614040
COMING DOWN THE MOUNTAINSIDE

>>2614245
>Issa jussa some Ubanians, what could go wro-

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vlora_War
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vlora_War

>>2611848
I feel a bit bad for the sailors, they travelled so long and a crew mate died. They were meant to save the day for Russia but instead made things worse and then got destroyed.

>>2614231

The Free French were in an old fort and Rommel's force consisted primarily off Italian troops, but Axis made them sound tougher.

>>2615051
Those same Italians comprised the majority of Rommel's forces that regularly drubbed the Brits.

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>>2611267
>>2611298
>>2611284
>>2613105
>/leftypol/ and reddit jealous that their propaganda is irrelevant.

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Atleast they got something out of it...

>>2608007
>Cholera spread in the enemy camps which killed like 3 times as many as the battles.
reeeeeeeee

>>2605721
Wasn't Attlee considered the best PM?

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>>2605709
JUST

>>2613803
Fuck off Phoneposter.

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>>2605709 (OP)
>When your enemy has more men than you have bullets

>>2616091
>135k troops participating
>170k losses
That's how you know the article is written by a naziboo

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We got this guys! Stupid Germans!

>>2616109

Do you not understand the concept of reinforcements?

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>>2616183
Oh shit... Hey Red Army, could you give us a hand here? Why... why are they laughing?

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>>2616187

Himmer to Hitler So how do you want your Warsaw to look like, my Fuhrer?

Hitler: JUST

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>>2616183
>>2616187
>>2616194
>trusting commies after they collaborated with the nazis during the takeover and genocided your officers

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>>2616187

mfw just realized that was footage of a Sturmtiger at 00:31

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Chinese autism.

I'll point out they got their fucking emperor captured in this whole shitstorm.
>>2607779
Well, it worked.

portuguese were fucking badass

Why are the italians so SHIT at war?

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>>2616278

>"The Italian command was, for the most part, not equal to the task of carrying on war in the desert, where the requirement was lightning decision followed by immediate action. The training of the Italian infantryman fell far short of the standard required by modern warfare. … Particularly harmful was the all pervading differentiation between officer and man. While the men had to make shift without field-kitchens, the officers, or many of them, refused adamantly to forgo their several course meals. Many officers, again, considered it unnecessary to put in an appearance during battle and thus set the men an example. All in all, therefore, it was small wonder that the Italian soldier, who incidentally was extraordinarily modest in his needs, developed a feeling of inferiority which accounted for his occasional failure and moments of crisis. There was no foreseeable hope of a change for the better in any of these matters, although many of the bigger men among the Italian officers were making sincere efforts in that direction."

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>>2616249
>500k vs 20k horse fuckers

>Your entire army is completely annihilated and yourself got captured

Not even a kid plays Total could be that shitty

>>2616371
*Total War

>>2610613
Based Yi probably had a few Turtle Ships.

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>Don't worry guys it's just a few Croa-

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>>2614432
>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_horse

>Dutch laugh at Celtic stories of the water horses
>no longer laughing

>>2616517
That battle didn't, just 13 Paneoksons.

>>2616371
The whole thing was orchestrated by the impressively inept "man-behind-the-man" Head Eunuch, who, in the affair's only display of justice, died in the battle. At the hands of his own officers, according to legend.

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Their story is still better.

>>2616537
The Siege of Sziget, based on this battle, is a damn fine poem and is absolutely worth reading. An English edition was recently published, I highly recommend it.

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>tfw the British commander who died's wife was on one of the ships observing the battle, believing she was about to become governess of New Orleans

>>2607329
Do Plebbitors really believe that they're this significant and """""brave"""""?

>>2608471
At least based /mlp/onies drove Reddit out of my 4chan.

>>2611439
They aren't real 4chan though.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/An_Lushan_Rebellion

Have you ever JUSTed so hard that you might've wiped out a sixth of the global population?

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>>2611848
There's no possible way to do justice to how hilariously retarded the whole thing was. Here's /k/'s take on it.

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>>2605709
>"I fucked up. I fucked up bad."

>>2610932
>get cucked because they're too autistic to give darkies voting rights

>a-at least their kill count was good (please ignore the rampant pseudoterrorism guise)

>>2605747
r-remove kebab tho...

>>2611238
>O'Reilly
>O'Hara

>>2611169
The Dutch were a mistake.

>>2611169
Bulgaria got conquered by the Ottomans didn't it?

Also what the fuck Italy?

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Step aside, kaffirs.

>>2615634
>reddit
>Implying /pol/ isn't reddit at this point

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>GLORIOUS CRUSADER STEEL BLESSED BY VICAR OF CHRIST ON EARTH 1000 TIMES
>french cavalry charge directly in like retards
>total defeat
>taken as slaves by the turks

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>So Monty, how would you like your airborne invasion to look like?

>>2619627
the british actually won that battle though

>>2619760
t. Lindybeige

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>>2605709

>>2620120
Portuguese is based

>>2605747
Eustachius De Lannoy, the commander of the Dutch who was captured later became one of their most important commanders for Travancore.

>>2619627
Literally like my vidya geims to be honest famalam

>>2605721
Can some britbongers explain this? Wasn't this guy your national hero? How was he elected out immediately after he helped you win the bloodiest and most ferocious war in human history?

>>2617900
They're a hell of a lot closer to real 4chan than reddit tier leftists are.

t. someone who's been here since 2005

>>2621177
Not a britbong, but after the war was over, the workers/miners had been completely overworked and pushed for more social reforms basically. The problem is that they didnt stop until Thatcher arrived.

>>2621177
The people have not forgotten Gallipolli

>>2621177
Because people weren't dumb enough to elect a peace-time Prime Minister on the basis of war-time conduct (not to say Attlee didn't excel there). There was a huge push for NHS and other welfare, and Attlee was at the head of it.
>>2621188
>The problem is that they didnt stop until Thatcher arrived.
I can tell you're not a Britbong.

>>2621184
>Reddit-tier /pol/ wannabes are closer to 4chan than Reddit-tier liberals
Who would have guessed.

paraguayan war is the ultimate JUST

>>2607277
>Canadians

>>2621222

>Commonwealth Air training scheme (Send British aviators to Canada to get hundreds of hours of uninterrupted training
>Convoy protection. By the end of the war, Canada was a major naval power
>Italy, Netherlands, France etc

>>2621222
Canada was a completely different country during the world wars and basically were the perfect kraut killers, and basically had great power status for a couple decades after WW2. Virtually our only battle loss was Dieppe and that was fucked from the beginning.

Honestly, we only Justed ourselves recently. Until the eighties our entire national defence plan was to scramble fighters with (US supplied) nuclear missiles and just nuke enemy aircraft and missiles, because who cares about nuclear fallout when only the inuit will notice

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>>2621321
What a barbaric time to be Canadian. I'm glad by now we finally have a reasonable level headed leader who teaches us important virtues like blind tolerance and that we win if our enemies kill us.

>>2616537
>The explosion at the end kills around 2,000 Turks

>>2607682
This and stormfront making colony there and basically every happening brining hordes of newfags, now its least 4chan like and anon board.

>>2607682
You really think a fucking plebbit board like that is more "/pol/" than /pol/ itself? If so you are a massive retard. All they do is emulate /pol/ as best anyone from plebbit can emulate a board on 4chan.

Currently the board that can claim to be most like "proper /pol/" is infinity chan's /pol/ which is where many of the oldfags went after the exodus. It isn't tainted by moot's jewry and it's much less susceptible to being infiltrated by newfags especially since the site no longer shows up on google.

>>2605747
they were attacked and burned in sleep

>>2607593
mudslim spotted

>>2621330
>implying he's not right
/his/ is a Christian board.

>>2621410
8pol is even worse than normal /pol/. So many normies went straight to "full"chan in the gamergate crisis it's ridiculous.

>>2621450
Shouldn't you be off Deus Vulting about it or something then?

>>2621248
>>2621321
WE

>>2621514
>Lol Canada is irrelevant
>BTW thank you for helping us your annual pledge of gratitude and shipment of flowers should arrive soon

>>2605791
go back to mongolia, roach

>>2614245
at least they're almost one in the same these days, glad they can get along

>>2605709
1945.jpg

>>2621177
Great war leader
Bad country leader
Britain didn't need him once they'd won and most people knew it.

The stupid part is having them literally swap positions in the middle of the fucking Potsdam conference. It totally screwed Britain while Truman and Stalin jerked each other. Should have waited a week.

>>2621510
That wouldn't be Christian.

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Just Byzantine things

>>2621831
>entire army
Holy shit

Also, Uhud was a loss, no one can win against mongol-tier tactics

>>2607363
The movie about this was great. The Admiral: Roaring Currents was the name I think.

>>2621831
Bitch that's not just Byzantine things.

That's just Khalid ibn al-Walid things.

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>>2605709

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>>2607251
norsemen get out and stay out

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Outnumbering the enemy 150:1, the French somehow still managed to lose

>>2622317
>150:1
Look at your pic once more.

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>>2622317
what did you say?

>>2607539

how the fuck did they get the royal yacht from the brits

>>2607559


>tfw you JUST the britcucks all over Africa only to come home to find your country suffering the worst JUSTing on earth

>>2610613

>still have 300 ships
>give up for no fucking reason

>>2615051
>Italian troops
>led by Germans

I see no reason they'd be no good

>implying it wasn't the worthless command chain that made Italy a military joke

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>>2622317
Yeah look's like that white flag meme's on the other foot now

>>2616285

>mfw diaries praise Italian troops incredibly highly

he was so fucking based, he made ITALIANS good at war

>>2620120

>breech loading field guns
>1542

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>>2605709

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>>2605709

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>>2605709

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>>2605709
>lol da south won no victories after gettysburg lol im a fukken stupid wankee fuuuk look at mei beisbol hotdogs jabronis yee lol

>>2622670
Chancellorsville was before Gettysburg but I agree Hooker got BTFO pretty hard there. If General Jackson hadn't been killed by his own men on accident, it would have been one of the most perfect military operations of all time.

>>2611298
>>2611275
T.Shills

>>2622692
Ah, my mistake, but agreed. They did get BTFO'd.
Look at all my Korean War posts.

>>2622719
>Look at all my Korean War posts.
You tried so hard.

>>2622543
>Outnumbered 2 to 1
>shocking you lost

>>2622719
>tried so hard
They didn't even kick us that far back.
lol

>>2622815
>i'm on the winning side in that one
>try again
>post a moment

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>>2622739

>>2622838
>>2622846
>>2622881
What are you even trying to say

>>2622555

He respected the common Italian soldier, but hated the higher echelon of Italian command. It got so bad that Kesselring, his superior, had to act as a mediator because Rommel would just stop answering Italian orders.

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>>2622885
That I'm American, so I was on the winning side of the siege of yorktown, that you should find a battle to post
and that the chinese didn't even do a good job at intervening.

>>2622911
>a tonne of people fight each other
>a tonne of people die
I mean sure but by that logic the whole damn war is JUST

Also are you sure you're American because you don't seem to understand or write understandable English.

>>2611169

What this proves is that Turkish people don't know how to wipe their asses. Fucking cockroaches kek.

>>2622929
If it works it works.

>>2605709
What is JUST?

>>2622924
I operate on like, 5 hours of sleep. My brain work's on low energy mode, excuse me if nothing I type down is readable.

>>2622942

Branden Fraser is an example of a JUST

Where something is so fucked up, you just throw your hands in the hair and cry "JUST fuck my shit up."

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>>2617520
This.
Literally a james bond villain living in a tent city with bodyguards permanently in bikinis with huge tits and golden AK47s who dindunuffin.

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>Sent to Rwanda to keep the peace
>Genocide starts
>Asks to intervene:
>UN: Nope
>Asks for no more then a few thousand men with permission to engage, says he could stop the massacres
>Intelligence analysts agree with his assessment
>UN and US: LOL NOPE
>Asks to break in a Rwanadnan government arsenal and arm a local militia to stop the masscre
>Troops get killed
>He gets blamed
>Watches 800,000 men women and children get butchered on his watch
>winter 2000: RCMP find him in the dead cold, stoned on prescription pills and his service pistol in his mouth
>Talk him down, he gets help


"I know there is a God because in Rwanda I shook hands with the devil. I have seen him, I have smelled him and I have touched him. I know the devil exists and therefore I know there is a God.”

>>2622563
What? They existed, though they weren't great. Go read about the history of breech-loading guns.

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>>2616183
>>2616187
>>2616194
>it took 2 crack SS divisions + reinforcements 2 months to defeat some untermensch teenage polacks equiped with pistols, grenades and homemade smgs
>German soldiers called Warsaw the harshest house to house fighting since Stalingrad
embarassing desu

>>2623154
What really pissed me off is that the UN delegate for Rwanda WAS ON VACATION while this was happening, and the the UN decided that, instead of stopping the Genocide (you know the one thing you swore would never happen again), it should wait for the fuck to finish his vacation and then ask him for permission. Oh and don't forget
>what's that, you want more troops, nah fuck you m8 we're taking them away because fuck you

>>2623986
There's gotta be a reasonable explanation for that. Like whenever you see something which seems retarded it turns out there was major politics in the way, or there were several people unexpectedly dead fucking administration way up, or there was a major anti-nigger faction in power.

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>be RSFSR
>have 60,000 soldiers against 4,000 White Soldiers
>lose 5,000 men as compared to 400 Whites
>this is the first part of the Civil War.

>>2624161
The Whites spent most of their time being completely decimated by the Reds though. I mean that's ultimately why they lost.

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>>2605721
I HURT MYSELF TODAY

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>>2624450

>>2624477
That's a Labour loss.

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And this is why Spain stays neutral on all modern conflicts

>>2620791
He trained them but he didn't lead them.

>>2621423
War is war.

>>2605747
hahahahahahahahaha serbs are pathetic

>>2618639
>>2605747

The Ottomans attacked in the middle of the night while the Serb army was drunk partying.

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>>2624405
They lost due because they were fighting for a historical fiction: restoration of the Tsardom, of which no-one wanted. Hell, Finland who had Mannerheim lead the nation was weary of both sides and stayed neutral during the conflict despite having the civil war spill over into their nation.

>>2622908
>Rommel would just stop answering Italian orders

fucking kek, why didn't Mussolini reform the military hierarchy? why was it still so fucking byzantine and classist?

>>2622641
Things like this are why I'm not concerned about the hypothetical Chinese takeover.

They can't fight for shit, all they're good for is dying.

>>2621177
Because Churchill was a belligerent drunk and wanted immediate war with the Soviets before any reconstruction started.
>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Unthinkable

>>2625429
Just makes the Serbs look worse desu

>>2611255
What does that matter?
>>2611442
How is that odd? Portuguese lost 100% of their force, Japs only lost ~10%

>>2622518
It was Thermopylae on the sea. All the Jap ships got smashed together by the current and all the ones coming into contact with the Koreans were getting annihilated, makes perfect sense that they would all say fuck that and flee once they got the chance.

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>>2611724
>shit out explosive stew and beer
>feel the cold toilet water drops sprinkle your bum
>Rub petrified corpse of tree on poop hole
>"All clean! I sure am glad I'm civilized! Unlike those filthy Turks who use water and hands to get all the filth off and then wash hands with soap. Disgusting savages!"

JUST

>>2622641
>tfw China still won

>>2626819
>shit out explosive stew and beer
>feel the cold toilet water drops sprinkle your bum
p sure Turks do that too senpai

>>2611169
Important question: Does "going to the toilet" explicitly mean taking a shit here, or just using the bathroom in general? There's a big difference. I always wash my hands after I shit, but if I'm just taking a quick piss and don't touch my dick I usually don't wash.

>>2626953
I hope you are not a countryman.

>>2614040
>no wings on hussar armor
TRIGGERED

>>2621330
>quran on floor
better burn that shit

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>>2626307
>700.000 dead ina single battle
how?

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>>2626307
lel
>Former Qin is covered in Purple, while the Jin Chinese Empire is covered in yellow. The red line marks the new border between Former Qin and Jin after Jin's victory at Fei, while the border marked on the map represents the pre-battle border, the furthest line reached by Former Qin forces before their catastrophic defeat.

>>2627030
China

>>2607337
He got voted back in like

>>2621177
He insulted the working class and through it hard

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>>2621831

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Fannin's death in the Goliad massacre. After the Mexican soldiers killed the other 340 insurgent POWs they had captured during their victory:

>Colonel Fannin was the last to be executed, after seeing his men butchered.[18] He was taken by Mexican soldiers to the courtyard located in front of the chapel along the north wall, blindfolded, and seated in a chair due to his leg wound received in battle. Before his execution he made three requests. He asked for his personal possessions to be sent to his family, to be shot in his heart and not his face, and that he be given a Christian burial. His personal possessions were taken by Mexican soldiers, he was shot in the face, and Fannin's body was burned along with the many other Texians who died that day.[19]

>>2605709
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Buena_Vista
Mexicans Went Full JUST

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>>2605766
Lord Palmerston!

>>2627030
Ancient historians can't count for shit.

>>2608531
delete this

>>2611255
classic meme. recognized

i too played medieval 2 : total war

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>>2627636
You think that's bad (okay it kind of is), just look at what they did to the chinks.

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>>2605709
btfo

>>2627439
Pitt the Elder!

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>>2605709

>>2618635
Rhodesia, unlike South Africa, actually did give some of their black population voting rights; nor did they have the same system of universal racial segregation that South Africa employed.

The 1961 constitution (which contained no racial classifications, and drew up a complicated multi-tiered system of enfranchisement based partly on income) basically guaranteed a 50/15 split between whites and blacks in the legislature, which was roughly in proportion to what whites and blacks contributed in taxes to the exchequer. The assumption being that as the black community developed more economically they would take a more active role in the nation's politics.

However, the US and UK refused point blank to consider any other system except black majority rule.

The white Rhodesians, caught between a rock and a hard place, naturally opted to ignore this, which amounted to an order to commit seppuku on a national scale to appease western liberals, and decided to fight. In the beginning they enjoyed considerable success in maintaining their way of life despite the international sanctions on them, but after the Portuguese withdrew from Mozambique and South Africa threw them to the wolves in the hope it might buy time for apartheid, they were surrounded by enemies and were out of allies. Although the African nationalist guerrillas never came close to seizing power through military means, the long-term situation was hopeless for Rhodesia, and exhausted and demoralised the Rhodesian government finally agreed to majority rule.

As always, Western liberals got their way. And we all know how well that turned out (about as well as it always does).

>>2611655
In Japan, if you're enemies kill you, you win.

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>>2629078

They win my dick

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>>2605709
Ridiculous self-aggrandizement aside, there's some real gems here regarding the Portuguese

>>2622317
>unknown

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>>2627058
It really is amazing the sheer amount of fucking dead that there are in every Chinese conflict

>>2627030

According to Greek historians, Persia invaded with 2 million soldiers.

Numbers are highly inflated. China did have a higher population than many parts of the world, but they didn't have million man battles back then.

>>2625873
>Finland
Yeah fucking retard, except that Finland was in the white side and win the battle:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Finnish_Civil_War

>m-muh historical fiction
Just like "democracy" in one time. Fuck you.

>>2622477
Beating WW2 Italy is like beating a quadriplegic mentally disabled 9 year old

>>2611867
I'm pretty sure everything about Italy is just one giant meme by the people that the leaders have no idea about

>>2627709
>>2627636
>laughing Viets and Champa

>>2624477
THINGS

>>2629855
Everytime I saw this in my history textbooks in elementary school I used to think those were British soldiers on the left because of the white flag.

>>2605709
Finno-Korean Hyperwar comes to mind.

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Heh...nothing personnel, kid.

>>2629855
>limey_tears.jpg

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>>2630352

>>2617117
As a proud Celto-Germanic people, we don't like it when people make fun of our traditions, desu

>>2617844
PIRATAS

>>2622317
>huuur duuur it's da french fault

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Biggest JUST in human history

They still curse his name whenever they speak of him today.

>>2605747
battle of cochin was part of a siege so the defenders usually have the upper hand

also, they messed with portugal's all-time best commander (duarte pacheco pereira) whose stunts are pulled in fantasy murican movies every now and then but with the difference that it actually happened.

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>>2611442
t. this nigga

>>2607539
>destroying another man's harem
This should be considered a crime of war

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>>2627934
Kadare wrote an absolutely amazing book about this.

>>2623995
When you consider how many nations were conspiring with the Hutus to wage genocide, i wouldn't be surprised if the UN didn't give a fuck.

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>>2605709

>>2622507
Kek poor guy

>>2631080

What absolute idiot thought that would work?

>>2629000
Why was the West so autistic with Rhodesia but don't seem to give a fuck about Israel?

Is it because of (((them)))?

>>2631134
No it was because of
>muh Cold War
The West was committed to Black Rule as they feared continued White Rule would push black anti-colonial nationalists into the hands of the Soviets.

>>2605709

Hiroshima & Nagasaki

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>>2627636

>>2627009
those were mostly used in parades n shit
mostly ceremonial bling bling (but they were also used in battle, just not that often)

>>2631720
>be heavily outnumbered
>lose
Well yeah

>>2630798
That's a lot of dead kikes. Hitler would be proud.

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JUST

>>2616371
>Not even a kid playing total war could be that shitty
tbf, I thought that if I put all my Legionnaires in one spot and attacked, they would somehow be better.

They got surrounded and killed to the last man.

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>>2630798
>985 villages razed

Holy fuck I can't even imagine the scale of that.

>>2630798

this is what happens when you try to ruin a good thing when you're within the realm of the roman empire

don't talk shit and you will not have to get hit

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>>2607779
Russian retardation will never cease to baffle me.

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>>2607352
When things get so bad that you've simply accepted to have your shit fucked.

Notable events include the russo-Finnish war where unbelievable military incompetence led to a soul crushing defeat for the motherland.

>>2605721
>mfw germans invade my island
>removebratwurst.exe
>assume I earned the loyalty of my kingsmen
>tfw lose to The Clem
Wot

>>2627934
Was Skanderbeg ever defeated by the Ottomans after he became the leader of Albania?

>>2611867

> But-a Luigi! Why are we-a putting the-a submarine in the-a glacial lake?
> Because they will-a never expect it there!

>>2608518
iirc Mir Jafar switched to the British side mid-battle

>>2631080
I laughed harder than i should of

gif basically sums up the course of the USSR

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>>2631080
Haha I call masterful 10/10 bullshit propaganda levels that shouldn't even exist

This was all orchestrated and filmed just so for perfect affect

>tfw things look to good to be true

>>2614266
THEY'LL BE COMIN ROUND THE MOUNTAIN WHEN THEY COME
(TOOT TOOT)

>>2618120
>>2633274
>>2607779
why does this keep happening to them?

>>2626614
>Polish troops fought in the Battle of Berlin
>after everything the 3rd Reich went through, the Poles had a part in conquering Berlin
fucking kek, Is there any other examples of this level of karma?

>>2631080
>the head goes flying and knocks down the ladder
i cry every tyme

>>2621177
You ever heard how the British were forced to survive off of food stamps and rations throughout the Blitz?

That actually kept on going for the rest of the decade, and even became worse post-VE Day.

>>2622269
Why is the filename not Propaganda.jpg?

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>>2605747

>>2630161
CAN

>>2631720
Is that the one where they kept getting trolled by that one guy, and the king had a stroke when he heard about it?

>>2622499

The sultan paid for it himself.

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>>2607539
>tfw you'll never conquer a primitive culture in under seven hours and assimilate them into your technologically advanced empire.

why live

>>2611136
>scotlel was oppressed meme

>>2619325
Many Irish exiled during the "flight of the wild geese" became generals and captains in the Catholic armies of Portugal, Spain, South America, France and Austria.