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You teleport into Hitlers body 1938. what would you do differently

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You teleport into Hitlers body 1938. what would you do differently
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Resign to a comfy cabin in the Austrian Alps and let Rudolf Hess take over as führer
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kill self right away instead of waiting
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>>2529942
Kill self instantly after making sure it would be impossible for someone else to fulfill the role of "Hitler."
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>>2529942
Let the Soviets invade Poland first.
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>shave mustache
>start lifting
>actually read Nietzsche
>annex Austria
>annex Sudetenland (maybe)
>restore Republican government in Germany; or maybe some sort of Constitutional Monarchy like in Britain, with me as first citizen or whatnot
>stop being a perverted fag with femdom fetish, get married and have children
>cozy up to Britain and France, trying to convince them of the mutual threat that is militant Bolshevism
>reform the German economy under more socialistic principles
>work on my impersonations of my staff
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>>2529944
You're kidding... R-right?
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Wear diapers when having stomach problems so I don't have to throw away or change underwear.
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Annex Australia
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>>2529966
>femdom fetish
its fucking great,
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I don't think he was changing his underwear up to 4 times daily to be like Eva Braun!
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>>2529944
Rudolf Hess had no political ability. Hitler liked him because Hess saved his life once, that's all.
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>>2529966
>femdom fetish
wtf i like Hitler now
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I think he was making a little bit of poo poo in them on his way to the bathroom, so if I lived in his body, I would get me some diapers or put Eva's feminine products in my underwear.
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If I lived in his body, I would wear or invent some of these!
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>>2529970
>>2529972
>>2529976
>>2529978
>>2529982
>>2529974
Where do these memes come from?
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Then I would cover the diaper by wearing a pair of lederhosen and just go in it like as if it's 1890 again!!!
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Quit while I was fucking ahead.
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Then I would remove it, clean up, and measure my hypo cock while viewing the mess!!!
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Kill party leadership and myself while making a shitty bane quote.
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Then Freud would know my mind never left the anal stage of development!
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If I lived in Hitler's body, I would take at least 1 picture of my junk nude to dispel all those micro penis myths. Hypospadias does not always mean small!
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>>2529942
Turn Germany into an Anarcho-Capitalist utopia.
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>>2529974
Hitler got mad when people would replace his poop stained underwear with new one identical to them because he felt worse about not being able to keep them clean. This is a fact documented by his laundry maid. I think he would have been much happier had adult diapers been invented back then.
>>
Why did Hitler have poop stained underwear?
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>>2529942
When I invade the Soviet Union, promise each ethnic minority their own independent state instead of trying to turn half of Russia into Lebensraum.

Ukrainians, Balts and other minorities who hate the Soviet Union sign up in droves to fight for their freedom.

Also create a Russian government in exile from parts of the White Movement, to attract anti-Communist Russians to our cause.

Seriously, if Hitler dropped the retarded bits of Nazi ideology and had been pragmatic he might have stood a chance.
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>>2530080
And when you win, would you keep those promises or drive them all across the Ural mountains?
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>>2529942
I'd speak English and not understand anything anyone tells me.
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>>2529942
Kill myself so that someone actually competent rakes over
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>>2530095
Savage.
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>>2530087
Keep them. Why not? The alternative is trying to deal with permanent partisan activity across an area with a population larger than Germany. Having friendly buffer states in Eastern Europe is still a win.
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>>2529942
Convince Poland to let wehrmacht pass and destroy the commie jews. Ask rest of western europe to help out.
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>>2530087
Whole point is to drop the retarded Nazi act so why would you do that after you've won?
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>>2530076
Because he was a man, and every red-blooded XY male has had a skid mark in his underwear!!! (Women are special, and like they say, "Girls don't poop!")
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>>2529942
Mark border with durable posts to prevent mapping and border disputes. Strengthen and expand connections with territories and spook others to see how much of Africa I can take without having to really fight. I mean I could take Poland and stop, but I think I could get a lot more out of Africa, given nobody cares much for it. Push claims on other trivial lands like Antarctica, I know it will be worth something later.

Tighten borders and build up internally so my people are the envy of the world. Focus on sustainable tech that empowers people and is disaster resilient.

I am playing the long game here. When shit hits the fan my aid comes at a price, and bit by bit I will buy the world from those willing fools.

Also learn German.
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>>2529942
Grow a full beard!
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>>2530134
He looks like some kind of serbian gang boss. I like it.
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Send a secret communique to King George VI swearing allegiance to the Crown in secret and requesting instructions on how to assist in obtaining sustainable Anglo dominion over the whole world with an addendum including my knowledge of nuclear weapons.
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>>2529942
Go to Peru and do lots of ayahuasca. At some point, I'd decide to stay, marry some mulatta with amazing bunda and milky brown tits, and start my own shamanistic jungle Volkisch pure-living cult with monthly ayahuasca group sessions. We'd start a rubber farm for cash, and with our German technical skillz, start furniture, architecture and building side businesses.
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>>2529942
Holocaust, this time for real
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>>2529944
What in god's name makes you think that Hess would make a better leader than Hitler or any of the other prominent men in the Third Reich?
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>>2529986
/leftypol/.
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>>2529942
>annex Austria
>forget about Czechoslovakia or Poland for now
>round up all Jewish scientists
>force them all to research nuclear fission under promise of giving them Israel
>dedicate all German scientists available to nuclear fission
>also develop a long range strategic bomber
>place panther tank on industrial production line, produce this tank and no others
>once I have nuclear weapons in store, launch invasion of Poland, Denmark, Norway, Netherlands, Belgium and France as happened, but in 1942.
>when England refused to surrender, drop nuclear bombs on London, Manchester, Birmingham, Leeds
>occupy UK
>take Suez Canal and lifeline to Middle East, oil problem solved
>launch invasion of ussr with nuclear weapons, obliterating Moscow, Leningrad and major soviet fronts.
>take all of Russia up to the urals
>tell Japan to fuck off, help nationalist china
>form anti-communist alliance with US
>help nationalist china beat communists
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>>2530236
It's not about Hess being 'better'. In this timeline, Hitler has clearly stopped giving a fuck either way.
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>>2529942
Kill myself earlier.
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>>2529942
I'd kill more Jews tbqh
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>>2530378
Seriously, what would be the point of even invading and occupying the UK if its major population/industrial centres are now piles of burning rubble? You'll have famine and societal collapse on your hands.

Nazis wanted London intact, there's a reason they didn't firebomb it or Buckingham, etc when they easily could have.
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>>2529942
Not invade Russia thats for sure :D
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>>2530480
This dont invade Russia meme needs to end.
Its almost like people genuinely believe the Soviets had any intention to follow the non aggression treaty.
Germany has success because the Soviets were not prepared at the start of Barbarossa.
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>Don't invade Poland
>Drop alliance with Italy and Japan
>Seek alliance with Britain and US instead
>Establish strong defence on eastern front instead of invading Soviet Union
>Deport all Jews out of Germany instead of killing them

that should do it
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>>2530926
>a fascist government with an ethnocentric policy, deporting jews
>allying with liberal democratic states with many jews in position of power
>not allying with the few other fascist countries near you, i.e. Italy.

sure.
>>
wait until summer to invade russia
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>>2529942
Rape a jewish woman.
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Become marxist-leninist and ally with Stalin. End persecution of jews and compensate them. Don't invade anyone
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>>2529975
>>2530236
Maybe thats the point
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Change name to Adolphus Hitacus and help the Greek people take back Constantinople.
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>>2531082
They did invade in summer.
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>>2531163
Kek best one yet
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>invade Poland, give half to USSR
>Invade France, launch operation sea lion
>once Britain and France are destroyed align with Turkey
>Full on invasion of USSR in April 1942
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>>2531221
> launch operation sea lion
> fail miserably
> Barbarossa fails because USSR is rearmed, half-mobilized and has stable military hierarchy by the April 1942
> get crushed by 1944
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>>2531221
>launch operation sea lion
>Full on invasion of USSR in April 1942
I think you're grossly overestimating your capabilities.
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>>2529942

Build less meme weapons and tanks, and divert a shitton of resources to development of nuclear weapons.
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>>2531247
>>2531281
Stop bringing up the Royal Navy.
Its a meme Period.
Britain ALMOST fucked themselves at Dunkirk
Most of the soldiers that left Dunkirk left on civilian ships while the Germans for some fucking reason decided to not bomb them to bits.
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>>2531312
> Royal Navy is a meme
Not an argument.
> Germans for some fucking reason decided to not bomb them to bits
You're confused. Germans stopped the offense exactly because Goering ensured everybody the Luftwaffe would bomb the transport ships to bits. And he failed.

But even iwth Dunkirk, Germans still had no means to actually transport them to the Islands themselves.
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>>2531349
>The Royal Navy is not a meme
Yes it is, their almost non-existent help at Dunkirk proves it.
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>>2531221
Turkey wasn't even that powerful and their equipment was WW1 tier
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>>2531363
In what way should Royal Navy had helped at Dunkirk? Battleships aren't transport vehicles, you know. I guess they convoyed the transports, but there was no danger of naval attack by the Germans.
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>>2531180
don't bother, he is probably american.
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>>2530378
"I want to produce a tank that did not exist at the time and was only designed after experience from fighting T-34s on the eastern front!"
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>>2529942
I would place Petain into power then surrender to France and dismantle Germany
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>>2529942
Cry about my micro penis
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>>2530378
You think Germany, whose economy and industry was still ramshackle and only appeared to recover because of war spoils, would have the money, organization or resources to create nuclear weapons - at least five considering your list of cities to be bombed - when the United States, with infinitely more money, organization, discipline and resources undertook a massive all-encompassing secret project and managed to make all of two bombs? What the fuck are you smoking?
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pull of my mask to reveal that hitler was trotsky all along and begin my worldwide revolution kill stalkin brutally as well
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>>2531746
*stalin
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>>25316967
If he had a micro I wouldn't want to see a macro?
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>>2531697

If what he had was a micro I shudder to imagine a macro!!!
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>>2529946
first spot best spot
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>>2529942

Stop wearing underwear like this.
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He should have made sure everyone knew he had BLUE eyes before he killed himself.
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He should have drawn a picture of himself that could have been scanned and colorized.
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>>2529942
>shave moustache
>fuck eva
>sabotage the country and let either the west or soviets take over
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>>2534589
>He should have made sure everyone knew he had BROWN eyes before he killed himself.
FTFY
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>>2534786
that's my favorite picture of Charlie Chaplin
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>>2529964
I would have gone with ending my land grab sooner and trying to placate anglos by giving a bit of it back. But I think this could play out a lot better.
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>>2529964
this
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>>2530134
OMG, add glasses and he looks like Schulz
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>>2529942
1938? Nothing can be done at this point. Total war is inevitable economically, politically and diplomatically. I try not making Barbarossa as underplanned as it was.

April 1933? Party program reform. Try to ease the antisemitism and aggression, seek reconcilliation with Strasser and Rohm, take up an anti-capitalist rhetoric (drop the alliance with the big industries, try to steal the workers' support from the socialists), set up a favourable relation to christianity so I could hopefully keep the alliance with Zentrum and other conservatives without having the SA beating up socialists, keep the volksicher roots, but try to drop the racial theory and change the blood-and-soil into culture-and-soil. Try to solve Versailles, Danzig and Austria diplomatically (UK and France were genuinely lenient and open to negotiation) and not self-destruct the economy through arms buildup. Try to make Germany into a good place instead of a worse shitshow than it was.

Youth? Stop being an indolent wannabe-bohemian, get my shit together and finish art school, found an ideology that combines romanticist nationalism with christian conservatism and syndicalism or another worker-focused alternative to capitalism and isn't retarded like NSDAP's ideology was.
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Try to show goodwill towards Britain and France for a negotiation for the Danzig corridor. My proposition is to give Poland equal access rights to Danzig and maybe make the city itself remain internationally administered but the remaining land governed by Germany, until sometime in the future.

There is no need for war, so I cull the SS and make them less of a private army and more of a youth program. Building up an alliance with France and Britain against Communism would ensure my safety.
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Grow a beard, relax the whole military doctrine, don't let go of any taken territories, try to restart the economy to get away from the whole military economy. Clean up my party, stop sperging out about muh Werldhauptstadt and all that. Above all, do not get into a war I am not 110% certain I will win within the month. Keep power untill retirement, retire peacefully, be known as that dude that liberals shit on but historians agree wasn't -that- bad.

Also, don't gas jews baka. Shut down synagogues and all, sure, but don't actively criminalize being jewish, or gypsy, or similar.
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>>2535305
I forgot, also drop the lebensraum shit.
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Creampie every youngest daughter. Let my generals have the older sisters mothers etc. Go back home and industrialise the Frick outta DAT mofo
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>>2529986
Perfidious Albion propaganda.
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>>2530926
Jews were deported for years.
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>>2531123
>philo-stalinist
>not persecuting jews, not invading anyone
Pick one.
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>>2535305
>change the blood-and-soil into culture-and-soil
>ensuring germany gets enriched a few decades earlier

>implying nazi germany wasn't a great place to live in as long as you were german

>implying generic christian conserative shit detached from the zeitgeist would have been successful

>calling the most successful/influential ideology of the time retarded
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>>2535305
>idk bro nazis stuf r easy to fix hehe: The post
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>>2535516

Changing blood and soil to culture and soil is essentially what Fascism was originally about in Italy.

Italian fascism in the beginning had zero emphasis on race, until Hitler came along.
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>>2529971
delet
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I would make sure there was no one who didn't know my eyes were bluer than the deep blue sea!!! Nothing makes me madder than people saying he didn't have blue eyes despite wanting to create a blue-eyed Aryan race.
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Nothing brown about those eyes!
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>>2535543
We're talking what would you do as Hitler, not Mussolini.
The case with Italy, is that they didn't, and arguably still don't, have a strong common ethnic identity, few if any identify with the native italic tribes. And people in the south can look dangerously tan and hook nosed, so it didn't make sense to be too strict with hating jews and non-aryans. That said roman and italic blood did feature in italian propaganda, especially in its quality of being thicker than vile albion's gold.
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>>2535516
If it is indeed the most influential ideology, then why are there no influential natsoc parties today? And if you say 'alt-right', I'd just like to point out that they have almost no relation to the natsoc ideology.

Zentrum was a christian conservative party and the most influential party in Germany, their alliance with the NSDAP is what allowed nazis to rise to power. I'm sure that accepting christianity wouldn't have harmed its popularity. And I wasn't talking about turning it into a christian conservative party - I have left most of the ideology unchanged.

>enriched
Huh?

Nazi Germany wasn't a very good place to live at all. SA squads were violent and the economy was unsustainable and locked on the path to war. And I think everyone would have prefered not living through the war.

>>2535531
I didn't say anything about things being easy to fix. But I am pretty confident that this would have been preferable to what actually happened.
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>>2535912
>why are there no influential natsoc parties today?
Because it's forbidden by law. It's so powerful that the people in power feel the need to forbid the citizens from even being exposed to its ideas.

I don't know what you're getting at with accepting christianity, hitler had the catholic vote and the catholic church blessed fascism.
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>>2529942
Since I don't speak German and would probably act really confused for the first few days (it would even take a while until I realized that I was Hitler now), the rest of the Nazi leadership would assume that I suffered a full mental breakdown.

So they would take me under guard to some sanatorium and announce that the fuhrer is taking a vacation for health reasons, and later that he is retiring. Than I would spend the next 5-6 years basically under house arrest (noone can know that the fuhrer went insane, they will guard this secret closely), possibly medicated.

Goering becomes the new fuhrer but he will probably fuck up the war even worse then Hitler.

If there is still a Nurnberg trial, it is doubtful if I will get blamed for many war crimes, I will probably get off with a light prison sentence. Goering will be seen as the main villain of ww2, but not as the personification of evil but just a corrupt dictator, something like Saddam Hussein.
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>>2535927
>It's so powerful that the people in power feel the need to forbid the citizens from even being exposed to its ideas.
Pic related. It's dead, Jim. Deader than socialism, and that's an achievement.
>I don't know what you're getting at with accepting christianity, hitler had the catholic vote and the catholic church blessed fascism.
Hitler failed the catholic vote, actually, and this would hopefully expand the voter platform. Those would, I hope, make the party drop some of its more extreme views regarding race and the jewish 'question', as those voters would have to be held on to. It is also what I would have done in his place due to personal preference.
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>>2530099
This was basically the plan after WWI and the treaty of Brest-Litovsk, but IMO it wouldn't have worked very well without an independent Poland
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>>2535927
>Because it's forbidden by law.
Only in certain countries and in those countries the memories of the war are still fresh in the minds of the elderly. Nobody wants to live through National Socialism again.
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>>2536048
>Deader than socialism
But that's extremely alive and social democrats are the first or second party in every european country
>Hitler failed the catholic vote
What a way to fail
>expand the voter platform
Past land-slide victory?

You talk as if the nsdap never grew past it's initial rallies, when it was one of the most successful popular movements of all times.

>>2536092
Nah m8, I'm italian, old people always say "quando c'era lui..." and "si stava meglio quando si stava peggio"
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>>2529942
>support the idea of nationalist states under German "help", select few that hated their former overlords the most to manage the shit (Ukrainians, Belarussians, Serbs...)
>give the Italians enough advice regarding Greece to make the pull through and not delay Barbarossa
>lead much more friendly policies towards conquered people in Russia, focus on Moscow-Gorkiy area
>no jew persecution, use the commies for the hard work
>give Jews the state that Soviets promised in Crimea, establish normal relationships with USA via ((them))
>focus on submarines and their respective technologies that needed improvement the most (torpedoes, snorchels and so on)
>focus on medium tanks, based on Czechoslovakian production
>make Italy not enter the war at all, promise them land anyway (fullfill said promise)
>focus on the Soviets until they are done for - no actual need for many forces in the West (local goverments should handle it, no invasion is possible for quite a long time)
>do a million little things I know about due to hindsight - win the war
It's just about correcting thousands of small mistakes, or rather, not doing them at all. Of course, there will be new ones that I couldn't predict, but generally speaking I believe that had Hitler stopped being Hitler in 1938 and became Churchill he had pretty good chance.
Dozens of opportunities to perform better everywhere you look, your position is maybe better than Stalin's in terms of your power.
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>>2536114
>But that's extremely alive and social democrats are the first or second party in every european country
Social democrats are far from similar to socialists. Actual socialist parties are dead and buried, or at best pushed into the fringe of politics. That point is, however, irrelevant as natsoc stays as dead as it was.

>that map
...you realize that the map proves my point, right? The NSDAP failed miserably in the catholic parts of Germany.

>landslide victory
33% is hardly that.

>You talk as if the nsdap never grew past it's initial rallies, when it was one of the most successful popular movements of all times.
Oh, it was popular all right... In about half of Europe (and only at its peak) for 20 years. That makes it one of the least influential ideologies.

The quarrel about popularity is meaningless anyway. Popularity doesn't make an ideology good, its tenets do.
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>>2536171
>dominant in all of mainland europe for over 20 years
>we're still discussing it
>one the least influential
You're being irrational.

>good
Never part of the argument
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>>2536171
I do agree with everything you're saying, but it is worth noting that at least socialist parties actually exist (however fringe or small they might be). My country has very little history with fascism (i.e. no real historical/social baggage to speak of) but the last two attempts to establish an alt-right party here were complete fucking failures to a comical degree
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>>2530195
i didn't ask for this feel
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>>2536187
>dominant in all of mainland europe for over 20 years
Germany, Italy, Romania, Bulgaria, Hungary, Croatia, Spain. At its peak (other states just had German-affiliated puppet governments that didn't have a large civil following). For 20 years at most. Compare that to monarchism or liberalism, which engulfed the entirety of Europe for more than a century. Compare it to socialism, which also lasted well over a century.

>we're still discussing it
We're not, that's the thing. The only thing the average person knows about natsoc is that they wanted to kill jews. We know the name because they managed to cause the most destructive war in history, but the ideology is obscure and almost never discussed. Hell, just check the inaccurate use of 'nazi' in talks about politics and then tell me the ideology still exerts a modicum of influence.

>>2536190
Fair enough.
>>
>>2531697
He didn't have a micro-penis, he MAY have had hypospadias, which has nothing to do with penis size.
>>
>>2529942

Do everything the same except invading Poland in 1939. Be satisfied in creating a small white Christian German utopia instead of trying to conquer the world.
>>
>>2531735
Different anon. German surely survived on war spoils. After America dropped the 2 bombs, the USA was at a bomb per 10 day production schedule. Before the Japs surrendered, there was deliberation between 2 strategies, drop the bombs every time they are shipped out to the Pacific theatre, or horde them up for one big sweep.
>>
Non-meme answer?

Order the military to overthrow me (in 1938) in a masquerade of a coup for Germany to be converted back into a democracy, with me having only an honorary role, for France and Britain to know that they can trust Germany again. Work out alliances with them by vindicating communism as the greater threat in Europe (especially with the impending Winter war). End disarmament, and beg for Schacht to diversify the economy, while knowing that this will be a temporary blow to the economy. End antisemite policies. Strenghten relations with Southern America for them to become the new German pseudo-colonial empire.

It's not that hard.
>>
>>2536734
desu is this really necessary?
If your point is, generally speaking, fuckign up the commies and not expansion itself, you could still stay in power, even take Czechoslovakia and stay nazi (maybe drop the Holocaust a bit, like ship them somewhere). Then you just wait, building up your army, doing a bit of bullshit in the Balcans (not yourself, maybe via Hungarian proxies or smth, many options) and waiting until the Soviets invade Poland (or anything else).
Once that happens you can go full in with almost global support of your cause.
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>>2536891
>Once that happens you can go full in with almost global support of your cause.
I suppose that that is somewhat of a credible way for how France and England might trespass into being allies, but I think that there's lots of problems with Hitler's admnistration that could've been solved had he not been there, and had Germany been more democratic, rather than plagued with incompetents fighting for responsibilities.

Also, there's a lot to gain from Jewish scientists by befriending them, so that's why I'm going with that.
>>
>Focus on invading and absorbing only Germanic countries. No France, no Poland, etc.
>After creating Greater Germania, realize I'm going to get my ass kicked eventually if I invade anywhere else
>Begin modernization programs for all branches of the military
>Save the extermination of Jews until after all military gains have been met and Europe is secure from invasion from Russia
>Don't invade Norway, instead forge a defensive Anti-Soviet alliance with Sweden, Norway, and Finland. Call it the Nordic Brotherhood or Spurdo League.
>Keep Italy and Japan at arms-length. Mussolini is a retard and unreliable, and I don't deal with filthy Asiatics.
>Build defensive wall along the western border of Germania to buffer any Bolshevik attack
>Promise Poland to come to their aid in the event of Soviet attack. When Russia does invade, I'll de facto annex the country during the course of the war
>Begin political campaign warning Europe of the Soviet threat, appeal to the League of Nations to ally against Stalin. This won't work in the beginning, but it will plant the seed.
>Come to the aid of Finland during the Winter War, push Soviets back off the entire peninsula and allow Finland to absorb the territory, becoming the dominant power in the North.
>When Stalin invades Poland, make good on the promise and throw the full weight of the German people against the invasion.
>Fight a defensive war, all the while pleading for support from Britain and the rest of Europe
>Eventually stop the Soviet invasion of Poland, be hailed as a benevolent protector
>Build up resources and allies against a second Russian attack, eventually culminating in a full-scale invasion of Europe
>After resisting the initial attacks, make a quick run to Moscow with Greater Finland attacking from the North
>Capture Moscow, force Stalin to surrender conditionally, then have him tried for war crimes in the League of Nations.
>Be hailed as the Savior of Europe
>Then kill the Jews
>>
>>2529942
Examine my own genitals in excruciating detail and leave an extensive written, photographic and video account for future historians.
>>
>>2529942
kill the jews AFTER i win.
>>
immediately release all Jewish and dissident prisoners, repatriate their land and property, demilitarize and reinstitute the Weimar constitution, then proceed to purge everyone in the party before committing suicide with a note saying everything I said and did for the last 10 years was an elaborate art project and you should love everyone regardless of religion
>>
>>2529942

I would begin sending false signals through the existing enigma network, discrediting allied intelligence and single handedly solve the flaw of the machine (thereby increasing the awe I inspire), since the problem is that it's possible to work backwards using a captured device and just randomly pressing keys until you've gotten most of it figured out.

I also wouldn't start a war until I had the nukes to gain a peaceful exit if necessary. A lot of people forget that Hitler offered peace multiple times. Not that he was a good guy, but it was the obvious alternative to crushing defeat.

I would avoid amphetatmines and the resulting insanity.
>>
>>2529971

no lie, in my middle school the school play kids literally thought the sound of music was set in australia, and the teachers were so retarded they didn't correct it. Fuckin catholic school.
>>
>>2529942

Take a picture of myself nude to dispel all those myths surrounding my genitals.
>>
File: IMG_3771.png (332KB, 640x1136px) Image search: [Google]
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Have a life size nude statue carved of my image, only with a much smaller dick like David.
>>
>>2529942

Sleep on a bedpan with my hypospadias cock hanging out every night in the summer of 1941 so I don't wake up with my long johns and night shirt full of shlood like he did when he couldn't have his meetings for 2 weeks.
>>
>>2529942
Annex Italy.
>>
>>2529944
Hess was loyal and good at administrating. He wouldn't have replaced hitler. Goerring or Doenitz were the correct choices. Or better yet the Hollenzollern Nazi.

>work on impersonations of my staff

wew, spotted the bonafide Hitler-boo.

The correct answer is do everything the same up until Munich in which you keep your promise but force Czechia and Slovakia, which had basically fallen apart to separate and sign the anti-commenter pact. Then you wait for Stalin to start the war while making cozy social and cultural reforms and preparing Germany for the return of the Monarchy and bismarkian parliament. Die a legend and hero.
>>
>>2529942
integrate nazi germany into the soviet union and take over the world
>>
>>2539000
Why the return of the monarchy? Why not make yourself Kaiser?
>>
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pray to kek for total distruction of the brithis
>>
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Stop talking so many pictures with children, although this one does kind of dispel the myth that he hated any child lacking blond hair & blue eyes or planned to kill all who were not born looking albino.
>>
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>>2538987

He could have always just gotten him some brown thermal underwear and had swastikas put on them so they wouldn't get stained so badly. They thought white was the only color men's underwear could be in his days.
>>
Build more ships and not ridiculously oversized tanks ... durp!
He would have taken the UK if his ego hadn't taken over.
>>
>>2529942
>Blow up the statue of liberty
>Blame it on the Soviets
>Manipulate American millitary contractors
>Turn the Americans against the Soviets.
>>
>>2529942
God damn that's scrawny. Wtf?

I never knew that Hitler had the body of a woman. Those shoulders are pathetic.
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