Is life worth living?

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Being partially white knight, but soon enough dark mage, I am regularly feeling like a piece of shit. What is there to life that we can love and live for?

I'm too much of an introvert (((pussy))) to go towards people. Fear and retardness makes me an edgy person, edgy as in not smooth.
I have few friends and lose them with time. I haven't progressed with girls at all since highschool, where I used to at least have some contacts (even if I was retarded). I used to be pationate about flying, wanted to be a pilot. Went to a BSc in physics instead, because I liked it too and my mother was reassured. I was also not in shape to become a fighter pilot. So here I am, 6 years later with 3 years doing shit I don't like for the sake of having a job later: coding (not Physics for MSc). Currently doing some internship in some shit-tier startup with extroverts people where I don't belong. I wish I could grow some balls, but I don't see when that happens. I say that because I feel like at least if I were with people all the time, I couldn't probe the pain. But man, I don't have anything of interest to me anymore. I used to love history too, hence the post here kinda. But man, it's tiring to reiterate the same debates everyday, when people including me all have different facts and argue over it indefinitely. Also at some point, your brain mixes things up, and you spread lies by mistake. Now I'm not interested in history anymore. I want to die.