If US Presidents had kingly nicknames...

>>2280106
>>Barrack the Black
>>Donald the Orange

lame

are you a writer for cracked.com because this thread is about as funny

>>2280106
>Donald the Orange
Anon...

>>2280106
>Franklin the Cripple
His disability was not widely known.

>>2280106
>>Barrack the Black
>>Donald the Orange
Did you giggle when you wrote this?

>>2280106
Woodrow the Wise

>>2280106
yawn

>>2280106
>Woodrow the Sassy

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>>2280135
I did admittedly but I love shitty jokes, so I'm a bit biased. God my kids are gonna hate me.

Our country would be better if Frederick the Great had successfully escaped from Prussia at the age of 18 like he planned to (before his dad caught him and personally murdered his best friend right in front of him) and escaped like he wanted to, to Pennsylvania.

Then we would have a King, to handle the "face of the nation" stuff, and we would have a democratically elected leader as well. Everything would be much better.

>>2280106
George the Humble
John the Pious
Andrew the Brave
Martin the Puppet
Madison the Fool
John II the Pragmatic
Franklin the Butcher
Millard the Insignificant
James the Blind
Abraham the Honest
Ulysses the Remorseful
Woodrow the Naive
Theodore the Magnificent
Richard the Cunning


THESE ARE FUN. THANK YOU OP, I'M GENUINELY ENJOYING MYSELF.

Does any country have better nicknames than Poland?

Bolesław the Brave
Mieszko the Old
Kazimierz Renovator
Bolesław Wrymouth
Władysław the Exile
Leszek the White
Leszek the Black
Henry the Right
Henry the Bearded
Władysław Elbow-high
Władysław Spindleshanks
August the Strong
August the Saxon
Władysław of Varna

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>>2280475
>best friend

>>2280494
Ok, so it was almost certainly his gay lover. But I don't like repeating historical rumors unless there is some hard evidence.

So unless a historian saw Frederick sticking his prussian dong in that dude's butt, they were "just friends".

>>2280112
Orange is the new Black.

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>>2280506
>implying Freddy was the active one

>>2280528
Oh shit. You think Freddy the Great was the one taking it up the butt? Just doesn't seem likely. How are you going to command your troops when you've had a German art student make you his bitch? How can you design Sanssouci all on your own, when you've taken it up the ass?

I have almost no problem with Frederick being gay, but he was totally the top in that relationship.

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>>2280536
>but he was totally the top in that relationship.
sure thing pham

>>2280106
>Barrack the biracial bisexual

>>2280554
>triple B

>>2280106
Eisenhower the Invincible.
Johnson the Profligate.

>>2280551
I can't explain why, exactly, but if I think if he was the bottom than his dad would have just straight-up killed him, there's the old mentality of "it's not gay if you're the top" that imo spared Frederick.

>>2280106
>Franklin the Cripple

"Franklin Augustus" would better reflect his power and influence at the time.

William the virile or William without pants, which one sounds better to you?

Woodrow the Kind (because Versailles was too kind)

>>2280585
Which William? Harrison, Taft, McKinley, or Clinton?

>>2280475
There is a really good short story about this online called "The Lights of Liberty". Really top-tier stuff, Frederick himself doesn't become king but his son does.

>>2280603
>Clinton

Richard the Crook

>>2280585
William the Saxaphonist

>>2280692

William the Lewd

>>2280112
>Barrack the Black
>Donald the New Black

Millard the Fillmore

John Twice-Pierced

>>2280741
Milllard the "I swear I'm not making it up, this guy was President"

>>2280106
How has nobody mentioned
>Barack the Islamic Shock

>>2280699
William the Sophist?

Eisenhower the Dissappointing.

>>2280782
Fight me
>>2280571

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Teddy The Bear

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on 600 ml of barcardi gol, gonna gvie this a shot with every prez i remember, please don't get mad if i miss one or two. This is from the perspective of a half-black, half-swedish american, raised by two northeastern parents, one ultra-conservative (the black one, oddly enough) and one ultra-liberal (the swedish girl, unsurprisingly), so the names maybe skewed by my own political opinions.

George the Great
John the Pious
Thomas the Just

James the Scholar
James II the Lucky
John II the Diplomat
Andrew the Bold
Martin the Clever
William the Sickly
Zachory the Irrelevant
James III the Pragmatic
John III the Butcher (remember that his campaign poster was of him sitting on a pile of Mexican skulls, POL WOULD LOVE THIS DUDE)

Millard the Mediocre
James IV the Worthless
Abraham the Martyr
Andrew II the Scapegoat
Ulyssses the Penitent
Grover the Wise
Arthur the Clever
Grover the Persistent (remember, he got elected to non-consecutive terms)
Rutherford the Traitor
William II the Prudent

Theodore Lionheart
William III the Just
Woodrow the Naive
Warren the Worthless
Calvin the Silent
Herbert the Unlucky
Franklin the Magnificent
Henry the Clever
Dwight the Invincible
John IV the Handsome
Lyndon the Tortured
Richard the Martyr

Gerald the Worthless
James V the Idiot
Ronald the Prophet (I am no Reagan fan, but his devotion to our nation can only be described as religious. If nothing else, I can respect him for commitment to America)
George II the Businessman
William IV the Wasteful
George III the Scapegoat (I know I'm reusing adjectives, but seriously, if there was ever a scapegoat)
Barack the Idealist
Donald the Redeemer/the Moron (still not sure which he is)

>>2280810
I know I re-used words like "mediocre/irrelevant" and "scapegoat/unlucky", but it's difficult to avoid the sense that this is exactly what some presidents were. Like both Johnsons. Andrew was stuck carrying out Lincoln's "Soft Reconstruction" and the Radical Republicans destroyed him for it (they would have never dared do the same to Lincoln). Same goes for Lyndon Johnson.

The Republicans, hell the entire nation, put the mistakes of their predecessors entirely on them. Why? Because their predecessors got bullets in their heads, and having a piece of lead in your brain makes you immune to criticism.

>>2280827
Call him George III the Simple then.

>>2280833
Lol, fair enough. Bush Jr was never cut out to be President. "Simple" is a bit harsh, but you're right, by the standards of some of the truly brilliant men we have had President he comes across as a bit dumb. I think he would have been much happier just running his baseball team or oil business in Texas. Feel the same way about Jeb in Florida. Sometimes people aren't meant to follow in their father's footsteps.