Historical feels you'll never feel

>ywn never fuck your qt 14 year old peasant virginal waifu that you got from an arranged marriage for the first time in your 13th century peasant hut

>ywn defend a castle

>ywn parade a hundred castrated boys dressed as nymphs through your palace while you and your royal guard takes turns sodomizing them before throwing them into the beast pits and composes songs on the flute and lyre to accompany their screams

>>2220091
>ywn be a soldier under the great general Napoleon
>ywn experience him taking notice of you and and chatting with you while you march to Italy

>ywn be a king

>>2220091
>ywn be a prince groomed from birth to become a king of a nation that sees you as wielding the blessing of god

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>ywn attend the cabaret at Tournee du Chat Noir

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>>2220091
>ywn be a rich nobleman in the 19th century
>ywn spend your summer hunting in one of your country estates and reading about history and politics at night
>ywn spend your winter in the city going to expensive parties and discussing philosophy with other nobles

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>>2220299
STOP

>ywn have a wife guaranteed for you

I just want to not be so lonely

>>2220091
Ywn tell your thane that today is your day to go to valhalla
Ywn pick up your battleaxe and stand on Stamford bridge
Ywn look down from valhalla weeks later to see your killers die in combat against the rightful king of england

:-(

>>2220299
Also this...

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>ywn hold the line at Alesia besides Caesar as the gallic scum attack you on all sides
>ywnthrow the die with him and cross the rubicon in the civil war
>ywn feel the rage in your chest when the news arrives that glorious Caesar was betrayed on the Senate floor
>ywn march one last time under the new Caesar to avenge his father against the traitors Cassius and Brutus
>ywn retire from the tenth legion with pride and respect, owning a small farm with some loot and qt gallic slaves you got from the war

>>2220490
>ywn have a degenerate background and redeem yourself through service in the legion

WHY!?

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>>2220490
Delete this right now

>ywn feasting drinking and bantering and maybe gambling with your fellow legionaries while campaigning under Julius Caesar
>ywn returning to Rome after a successful campaign and hitting on thirsty women at the tavern

>>2220431
This so much

>ywn ride with the great khan
>ywn sack cities from Manchuria to Muscovy
>ywn build a harem of women from all different parts of the globe, bedding a different one each night.
>ywn praise tengri under the wide blue sky

>>2220431
>>2221190
So you want to benefit from state-sponsored rape

>>2221204
JK. Arranged marriage actually do really well in later years but are stressful and weird in early years according to a study that is probably really bias because it's a study

>ywn die of smallpox and be thrown in a ditch

>ywn be an Ottoman prince, with a harem of qt Circassian girls

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>>2220490
God damn dude.

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>ywn explore the late triassic

>>2223328
Lel, you'd probably catch an ancient disease

>you will never have a machine that lets you explore the past without interacting with it, like a ghost, with a camera so you can take pictures and videos of all the ancient cities and great events and people of history

>>2223328
why the late Triassic?

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>ywn sail across the oceans looking for adventure
>ywn forge a true friendship with your matey before letting the scurvy take him
>ywn explore unmapped lands
>ywn tame unknown creatures
>ywn meet civilizations unheard of
>ywn amass treasures with tongue and sword
>ywn enslave your defeated foes
>ywn spread your genes into a multitude of autochthon virgins
>ywn give your name to some place and see it become prosperous
>ywn get poisoned in your bed by your black butler as you lie old, rich and confident in your children, plantation and slave market to feed generations of men complaining about how all the corners of this planet are already explored

>ywn meet the Aztec empire pre-Cortez with a flamethrower and declare yourself a fire/sun god
>ywn relish in a sea of virgin aztec pussy after telling Montezuma that you will protect his city if he gives you all the women you want
>ywn have a harem of obedient qt amerindian girls.

>>2223314
I would settle for being a regional govenor with a harem of ukrainian qts tbqh.

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>ywn be a Spanish militiaman in 1936
>ywn fight the traitorous rebel armies at the Manzanares and the Casa de Campo
>ywn hold the line with your comrades against vastly superior forces while abandoned by the world and your own government
>ywn die to defend Madrid from fascism

>los moros que trajo Franco en Madrid quieren entrar
>mientras queda un miliciano, los moros no pasaran!

>>2220148
>being born in the purple
It's better to have humble beginnings than be raised from birth to believe you are God's gift to the world

>>2221204
>Being forced to marry someone is the same as being forced to fuck them

You're a special kind of stupid aren't you?

>>2220490
The Crossing the Rubicon part got to me.

>>2224418
Considering marriage pretty much always entails sex (particularly prior to the last few decades), yeah.

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The French revelution made me sad
Napoleon made me suicidal.

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>ywn be Grand Duchess Anastasia Romanova
>ywn be imprisoned with your family by the Reds after the revolution
>ywn be hormonal, afraid and sexually frustrated
>ywn have an awkward, rushed, guilty sexual experience with your sister Maria one night as you both release months of pent up fear, stress and desire
>ywn wonder if that counts as losing your virginity as you and your family are viciously butchered by a Bolshevik death squad

>>2224418
In countries without laws against spousal rape, that's what it means

>protip: if there's arranged marriage, there probably aren't laws against spousal rape

>you will never explore earth
>you will never be in awe by the cultural shock of seeing people and architecture you could never even imagine

>>2220299
That War and Peace feel.

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>ywn destroy the eternal manlet under the sound of Scotland the Brave while cannon balls whistle above your head

>ywn be a 12 year old married to a rich Lord and bear his children as soon as you menstruate

>>2220128
>>2220299
>>2220490

These are particularly bad feels.

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>>2220091
>tfw not part of the jacobin club during the french revolution
>tfw being able to not chop the heads of traitors and the nobility

>>2224801
>tfw you watch as Napoleon crowns himself Emperor
>tfw you grumble but still support him because at least he's better than the other European monarchs

>you will never be a roman of some kind or another visiting or being stationed on hadrian's wall
>you will never gaze upon the physical edge of civilization

>>2223314
>ywn be an Ottoman prince, only to be murdered by your oldest brother

>all these dreamers
Good job getting injured and dieing immediately due to a lack of medical technology whatsoever.

>>2220091
>>ywn witness the Aztec Triple Alliance form

>picks up blunderbust
>backfires blowing half my arm off
>become spicnigger slave
>get raped daily by montezumas

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>ywn trample over dirty romans with war elephants