Albert the mercenary

>>2122599
>Be Albert the mercenary
>Rape a qt
>Die of some godawful STD

File: 1482356571-20161221-164058.png (303KB, 695x358px) Image search: [Google]

303KB, 695x358px

>>2122619

File: Bless+america+shamelessly+stolen+from+9gag_a5f181_5702294.jpg (45KB, 460x634px) Image search: [Google]

45KB, 460x634px

We made it into a meme....I'm...so proud guys..

>be Albert the mercenary
>get maimed enough that you can't fight anymore
>fellow mercenaries abandon you
>nothing to do anymore
>feelsbadman

File: 1319751469684[1].jpg (16KB, 320x265px)

16KB, 320x265px

>be Albert the mercenary
>The enemy wants you ded because you're trying to kill them
>The allies want you ded so they don't have to pay you

>>2122599
explain this meme you fags

File: tfw+water.png (83KB, 790x773px)

83KB, 790x773px

>>2122723
>>2122737

>be Albert the mercenary
>go fight a war because le loot lol
>get anally raped by your allies before getting anally raped by your enemies
>survive the rapes
>crawl out of the battlefield
>get your head crushed by a horse

>be Albert the mercenary
>go fight a war because le loot lol
>get anally raped by your allies before getting anally raped by your enemies
>become a sex slave
>develop Stockholm Syndrome
>starting liking the endless rapes
>become cum slut
>get executed once the slavers realize you like it

>>2122760
>>2118140

File: 640px-Farinata.jpg (241KB, 640x986px)

241KB, 640x986px

>be Giuseppe the condottiero
>be born
>enlist in a condottieri free company
>larp fight another condottieri free company in a meme """"war"""" over an olive grove or something who the fuck knows
>make mad florins or ducats or whatever they're paying us in now, go home, plow some qt Italian whores, show off my rad scars that I got getting rowdy with the lads at camp to impress the folks back home

Pimping ain't easy

>>2122793
>be Giuseppe the condottiero
>be born
>enlist in a condottieri free company
>make mad florins fighting in all the phony bologna "wars" with other condottieri
>war of league of cambrai starts
>france and spain get involved
>they bring their armies
>wow that's a lot of dudes, where is their bitching armor and swords though?
>they start battering down city walls
>wait that wasn't supposed to happ-

File: 1482269001876.jpg (166KB, 580x686px)

166KB, 580x686px

>be Sigismund the lord
>get besieged
>councilor tells me of an ancient passage that leads me to safety
>hurry my family through
>on the other side is the enemy army
>mfw I realize councilor was lying
>mfw they take the castle
>mfw my daughter is raped by Albert

>>2122760
/his/ approved Kenny

File: 163.gif (1006KB, 256x256px)

1006KB, 256x256px

/his/ produces the best memes

>>2122872
edgy

File: 1971416_1615774835301006_1461813417_n.jpg (172KB, 640x640px)

172KB, 640x640px

>be Albertahoc the mercenary
>can't wait to fight!
>it's the fucking conquistadors oh fuck oh fu-
>get hit by a bullet
>die

>>2122872
This predates /his/.

>>2122900
Almost trolled me

File: hide-the-pain-harold.jpg (82KB, 660x495px)

82KB, 660x495px

>>2122599
>Be Albert the mercenary
>Hire assassin's to kill the king
>Get crowned as king by my assassin's
>Get killed

>>2122898
kek

>>2122925
P O T T E R Y
O
T
T
E
R
Y
>directed by George Lucas

>>2122898
more like
>be Albertahoc the mercenary
>can't wait to fight!
>these new conquistadors seem cool and they need some help killing the aztecs
>give them a hand since no one likes the aztecs anyway
>bask in the warmth of victory
>then die from a foreign disease your body has no resistance to

File: 1460391407209.jpg (526KB, 2000x1309px)

526KB, 2000x1309px

>be albert
>wife & kid dies in childbirth
>local farmers lose the harvest to a drought and subsequent fire
>decide to join sigismund's mercenary army because nothing is left for you in shitholesburg
>forced march for months to relieve some siege in a land you've never heard of
>die of dysentery days before the battle
>sigismund loses anyway

File: 2016-12-20-17-03-03--832712651.png (12KB, 218x231px)

12KB, 218x231px

>be Albert the mercenary
>bump thread
>die