Which philosophers' teachings are most likely to get me laid?

Nietzsche if you're trying to get into tumblrites pants

>>2122284
Kierkegaard

Epicurus

Stefan Molyneux

>>2122296
>waah I'm so sad to be alive, christianity is the only thing keepinh me from killing myself
How's that going to help OP?

>>2122288
Don't feminists hate Nietzsche?

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>>2122284

>>2122284
just be smug as voltaire
all the time

>>2122327
At least here he is the only one bitches know.
They will think your some intelectual because you know a philosopher they know too.

Making women feel good gets you laid not actually having knowledge on kirigurato.

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>>2122288
what?

Kant

>>2123729
This

Transcendental proofs will unleash waterfalls in their panties.

>>2123729
you kant seriously believe this

>>2122284
Sartre. Dude had a cock eye and still slingin dick all over france all while livin with his mom and stepdad that he hated.

>>2122331
They hate everything

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>>2122284
Unironically Marx, commie bitches are complete whores

>>2123810
If you want to impress commie bitches, you'll have to actually know Marx. Much better to just study a little about a female leftist like Goldman or Luxemburg

>>2122284

Albert Camus
Jean-Paul Sartre

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>>2122284

>>2122284
satre for sure
*sigh*

>>2122314
Explain

>>2123787
This. The wold is absurd, embrace it, and never care about rejection, just keep going and you'll find someone/get better at the whole thing.

I should listen to my own advice more.

>>2123782
Wrong. Love me some Kant but he dries up panties quicker than a traincrash

just read the Communist manifesto and make pretend to be a tru anti-capitalist revolutionary™ (*tips fedora*) and you'll fuck sjws like nothing

>>2123810
This, if your still in college.