Lets be actually useful /his/. Lets write a PoMo style history

On Saturday, October 23, 4004 BC, at 6:00 pm, the world was created by God.
On Saturday, October 23, 4004 BC, at 6:01 pm, the eternal anglo destroyed it all.

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>>1835404

>10.000 BCE: Jari Litmanen the Great establishes the Holy Finnish Empire
>7.000 Before the Birth of some Jew: the Great Patriotic War against the Eternal Korean, the Finnish Empire wins, but not without a great sacrifice
>6.000 years or 1 year before Gawd makes da land: the Finn retreats, and the Eternal Korean splits into the Eternal Anglo and the Eternal Serpent, which later becomes the Jew
>year 0: MH16 is shot down over Galilee by Zoroastrian seperatists, the many liters of kerosine cause mental retardation within the population
>year 33: the Great Jewish Retardation is at its peak, many retard-prophets spring up and vow to destroy Rome because DURRRRR ROME NOT GIV ME LAND DURRR
>380: the retard-prophets are successful, but the Zoroastrian seperatists are still angry over Rome not liking their tacky golden palaces, they go to war
>600something, or -6 Hijra (childkidnappings be upon you): an elephant carrying more kerosine crashes into a palm tree near Mecca, thus sparking another Retard Revolt
>700-1400: they have the Retard Wars, a rematch of the Great Finno-Korean War, but with more retardation
>1500-1800: some other retards buy a telescope and come up with Autistic Astrology
>1850: two more retards escape from the Retard Wars, one goes DURR CAPITALISM, the other goes DURR COMMUNISM, the rest go eat their own shit
>1900-1945: the second series of Retard Wars erupts, this time twice over Belgium, and the question of 'why is this even a country?'
>1945-now: America wins and makes a divine vow to DURRR HOLE WORLD SHOULD BE RETARDED

>>1835647
>2016: The reincarnation of the messiah as Justin Trudeau claims the current year, that is all.

>>1835379
MOMMY
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