Historical greentext thread

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Anonymous
Historical greentext thread 2016-10-10 05:17:27 Post No. 1804737
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Historical greentext thread Anonymous 2016-10-10 05:17:27 Post No. 1804737 [Report]

>Be me
>It's 1564
>Ask fryends on a nyghte out.
>6 hath dyed from plague and starvatyone
>Just my fryend Asnfryd who hath answered my call
>ohwell.parchment
>Walk into local clubbe
>Musice is playinge. Womyn dancyng, men drynkyng; all hathing a goode tyme.
>Fair maiden eyes me from acrosse the halle
>Am kysseless vyrgyne
>Not even contracted syphillis yette
>feelsbad.scripture
>Approach her through the plebs like Cavalry navygating woodelands
>Gyrl telleth me her chrystyan name
>Asks me "hath you learned to dance?"
>Head ys spinning lyke a mornyng starre
>Dance all nyght.
>We drynk mead, she yven touches my lyttle serf
>We lean yn to kysse as the waxe from the candles above drippe arounde us
>Suddenly the door is smashed like the Muslim's gryp over the holy land
>ohshit.waystone
>In run 16 pilgrims with weapons who begynne beatyng all the dancers
>Some dypshytte yn the back begyneth screamyng texts of Martyn Luther
>Fucking Protestants
>Ansfryd ys stabbed for beyng Anabaptyste
>Laugh at hym for hyse stupyd theologycal choice
>Girl is dragged off and burned outsyde
>Have my legs beaten and broken.
>They gette ynfected and have them cut offe.
>Tfw can't worke the fields
>Tfw the landlord wylle throwe me oute of my home
>Tfw still no kysses frome a womyn

Anonymous 2016-10-10 05:22:51 Post No.1804763
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Anonymous 2016-10-10 05:22:51 Post No.1804763 [Report]

Good plan. Poor execution. Too long and not really funny.

Anonymous 2016-10-10 10:50:14 Post No.1805269
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Anonymous 2016-10-10 10:50:14 Post No.1805269 [Report]

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>>1804737

>Be me
>Just moved to this new island called Aotearoa
>Entire island is full of gigantic two legged birds who don't run away when approached
>Giantmoafeast.mere
>After 100 years of feasting no more giant bipedal creatures to be seen
>Due to dissapearance we don't remember what they were called any longer
>Hey Aroha, you know what giant bipedal creatures were called, you know that word we had for them?
>Sorry Anon I don't know what you talking about
>Spend next 200 years with tribal warfare warfare and trying to remember that word
>Whiteycomesby.AbelTasman
>Ask whitey about the bipedal creature
>Oi, ya mean a bird, ya Savage Wanker?!
>tfw when i finally remember
>tfw bird is the bird

Anonymous 2016-10-10 10:51:07 Post No.1805271
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Anonymous 2016-10-10 10:51:07 Post No.1805271 [Report]

>>1805269

*bird is the word

Anonymous 2016-10-10 10:54:21 Post No.1805274
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Anonymous 2016-10-10 10:54:21 Post No.1805274 [Report]

>>1805271
no reddit screencap for you today

Anonymous 2016-10-10 11:16:29 Post No.1805316
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Anonymous 2016-10-10 11:16:29 Post No.1805316 [Report]

>>1804737
>landlord

Anonymous 2016-10-10 11:21:10 Post No.1805321
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Anonymous 2016-10-10 11:21:10 Post No.1805321 [Report]

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I'm aware that Imgur.com will stop allowing adult images since 15th of May. I'm taking actions to backup as much data as possible. Read more on this topic here - https://archived.moe/talk/thread/1694/

I'm aware that Imgur.com will stop allowing adult images since 15th of May. I'm taking actions to backup as much data as possible.
Read more on this topic here - https://archived.moe/talk/thread/1694/