What Historical Battles Do You Want To Fight in?

I MEAN LESS THAN 25 YEARS! SORRY!

I guess it would be pretty cool to have been one of the Zulu soldiers at the battle of Isandlwana.
Not because i hate the idea of colonialism or because im a WE WUZ shitposter, but because it must have been incredibly satisfying for an indigenous army to soundly defeat a vastly superior colonial power in the field.

>here that those white men are coming into our land
>what the fuck is up with this shit? we had a deal and everything
>whatever. march off to war for who knows how many days
>reach isandlwana
>they arent even in a bull head formation
>just standing there in a line
>fuck its lets just run at them
>a lot of us get shot
>get hit once but dont give a shit because if i dont come home i dont get to slam hot zulu ass
>they're still just fucking standing around
>lrn2handtohand
>their spears are shitty little knives they put at the end of their guns
>no match for my glorious Ilkwa
>kill a bunch of them
>they run like bitches
>find out some of my buddies who didnt get to fight are gonna go fuck with a mission station across the border
>decide to join in for shits and giggles
>what could possibly go wrong

>>1780606
None, i detest violence and don't want to die or be horribly injured in battle.fedora

None, because I enjoy living in a modern state where I have food, freedom and healthcare.
ITT: im 12

>>1780606
>unironically wanting to go to war
euthanize yourself

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=k4Pd527GN48

>>1780606

None, because I'm not an autistic katana wielding faggot.

>>1780606
Tannenberg, Kutna Hora, Bileca, both sieges of Vienna, Macedonian Front and Operation Bagration.

sacking of jerusalem would be fun

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>>1780606

any Napoleonic battle, sitting by the general's staff tossing each others bollocks while unfortunate souls die for you

>>1781876
>you will never whip shards of pottery while your subcommanders fight the battle for you
>>1780786
>>1780796
>>1781492
>>1781689
fucking pussies

>>1781892
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vH3-Gt7mgyM

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>>1781897
>>1781492

Saaaaad!

*fapfapfapfap*

So saaaaad ;_; *fapfap*

Saaaad!

*fapfapfapfap*

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>>1780606
>yfw charge down the Turkish hordes outside the gates of Vienna
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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>>1780606
The Battle of Campion

>Drought ravages the nation, tensions rise between the colonists and locals as food becomes just as scarce as water
>Locals begin attacking colonists for food
>I am conscripted to fight these locals alongside others
>Our leader is Sir George Pearce: a brave knight with ambitions of retaking the Western Territory from the locals
>We gather our weapons before being hastily deployed
>The colonists were desperate: an army of almost 20,000 natives had amassed outside of a city called Campion
>We arrive
>The enemy is near a local dam trying to collect water
>We make our move
>The enemy had no idea of our approach
>We dug in lightly before the enemy noticed us
>Clouds gather
>As if by fate, the rain falls for the first time in months
>Floods ensue, driving both my task force and the natives into disarray
>Once the waters drained away, the natives came
>I jumped onto our Lewis gun along with my new gunner, Jack
>Poor Noah, how ironic, was injured in the flood
>The enemy came towards us despite clearly seeing our gun
>We had 10,000 rounds of ammunition
>The ground shook around us as the enemy grew closer
>I wiped the sweat from my brow
>I could not believe how quiet the natives were: no shouting, no war cries...
>Jack squeezed the trigger once Sir George gave the word
>The bullets began tearing into the natives
>Blood, flesh, and feathers flew into the air
>They rained onto the oncoming natives, their beige exterior turned crimson from fallen allies
>Almost five hundred had fallen before the horde turned tail for a retreat
>Jack ceased firing
>Sir George grew furious
>I saw as hundreds more tried to crawl or limp away
>The once gallant knight's face turned ferocious as he took the gun
>He began mowing down survivors
>Their cries still haunt me
>We are sent to collect the enemy's feathers so that our cavalry can have feathers for their hats
>Some were so young, so innocent... I'll never forget their faces. Their beaks and eyes frozen in terror

>>1780606
Cannae on the Roman side. So I can finally die.

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>>1782049
It's... it's you...

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Battles of Alexander

>>1782080
But to survive them long enough to see his generals squabble would be... devestating

>>1782029
Subtle kek

>The siege of Malta, Knights side
>The Battle of Tours, France side
>Battle of Cheasapake Bay, French side
>Attack on Berlin, Russian side
>Battle of Abraham's plains, french side

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>>1780606
Bloody Nose Ridge in Peleliu or the Actions along the Matanikau river, I'll probably die but I just want to fight alongside Chesty Puller really

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>>1780606

March defiantly alongside fellow wearers of the Grey up Cemetery Ridge to this beat.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0BDDtAeAVI

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The battle of marathon would be great since the chance of me dying is pretty slim and Id get to be in one of the coolest battles. Salamis would also be dope

>>1780606
The battle of Milvian Bridge, Constantine's side.
Maxentius should, and did, kill himself.

>>1780606
>wanting to be cannon fodder

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>>1784123
This but Union side

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>you'll never hold Malta from the Ottoman roaches

>>1781892
>fucking pussies
have you ever seen someone die

Cannae would have been fun on the Carthaginian side

The Emu one.

>>1784196

Bioshock Infinite?

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>>1780606

Jump into Panama with /k/'s SGM Vinning and operate the shit outta of Noriega.

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>>1780606

Not sure if this is violating the rule, but running over Iraqi bunkers in an M2 Bradley with Tim McVeigh would be pretty fun too.

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I just want to be in a cavalry charge ;_;

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>>1785086
Like this one?

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>>1784704
See >>1782029

>>1785086
Do you?

>>1780606
probably some sengoku battle, just to wear cool samurai armor.

probably the battle of Hattin
>Here i am as a peasant plowing my field
>Damn son, look at all that horseman coming trough
>oh shit it's Salahudin and his crew
>they come trough my field
>Ayyy Salahudin my man, what you up to ?
>not much, we're off to recapture Jerusalem, hop on in faggot
>ait, let me just tell my wite
>ayy bitch, im off to recapture holy city of Jerusalem, ill be back next year
>yea whatever just bring back some gold coins, i could use a new bed
>off i go trough the dessert marching with a huge ass army, sieging castles n'shit trying to get crusaders out in the open
>oh shit it's time for battle
>get sent charging in in the first row
>get a spear straight in the face
>die horribly
>don't give a fuck

>Be horse archer in Carrhae
>Practice my archery skills on the Romans for a whole day
>Ride away just out of melee range as soon as they try to reach me

I wonder if the horse archers were laughing and joking amongst themselves while they were literally trolling the living shit out of those legionnaires? Maybe they kept kill counts like Legolas at Helms Deep.

>>1781714
Not less than 25 years ago.

The American Revolution of 2017

i wonder what it was like to sack a city. that sense of absolute power would be great, just ravaging everything you can

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The Liberation of Istanbul.

I'd personally kick Constantine between the nuts after trying to hide himself with the women and children while his men outnumbering the Ottomans 10 to 1 died fighting for him and the rest of the filthy christian clerics.

Bunker Hill with a Vickers MG section providing fire support to the assault.

>>1780606
Do aerial battles count? If so, the battle of Britain

>you will never fly a spitfire
>you will never gun down dozens of filthy hun planes
>you will never go home to your ugly, toothless wife

>>1784658
i saw the life fade from my grandmother's eyes

if you're talking about gore then blood doesn't bother me

when I was younger I always wanted to be a marine in the royal navy like the guys in Master and Commander

>>1786551

noice

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>>1782029
i love the emu war

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>>1786717
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7p94DFyBBwc

Should cheer you up, skip to 4:15 for the best part. The movie was great and inspired younger me too. I didn't get to the point of wanting to join, but it did push me into marine biology so I could have the chance to roam the oceans today

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>>1786551
Come come goyim, we know that's not what happened. You're only trying to convince yourself at this point.

>>1784988
>*muffled voice in the mask*
>we came to give you freedom

Waterloo.

>tfw you will never be sent to your death by a traumatized Michel Ney

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>>1780606
Night Attack
>wh.. fucking hell, it's midnight, why the hell are we awake
>wha...he wants us to... jesus christ supporting this guy was a bad idea
>ok here we go, we're going to attack the bloody ottoman camp... at night... with 5 times fewer numbers... nothing can go wrong.
>huh, why is everyone in their tents
>oh I knew I forgot to bring something with me, where's my torch?
>nevermind, everyone else has a lot of them
>so many turks screaming, they aren't even paying attention
>hey that's the sultan
>Vlad said something about killing the sultan
>...
>...
>fuck, he got away
>I think everyone here agrees we won't tell Vlad, right?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Night_Attack_at_T%C3%A2rgovi%C5%9Fte

Battle of the Teutoburg Forest on german side

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>>1781952
This definitely. The largest cavalry charge in history and saving Europe from the Ottomans sounds pretty great desu