ITT: Childhood historical misconceptions

I used to think Rome was Controlled by three families who went on to conquer their own parts of the known world before Caesar revolted and took over it all

>>1748991
>>this one isn't really historical but I thought that when you died your flesh just instantly dissipated and you turned into a skeleton

That's actually true, tho?

>used to think America is a real place
>used to think the past smelled better
>used to think numbers were invented by the Welsh
>used to think the past came AFTER the present

I used to think that the figures at Pompeii were actually just the real people "frozen" in ash, not plaster fills of the imprints they left behind.

>I used to think that everyone post-Antiquity that wasn't the Native Americans was Catholic Christian. This included the Chinese, the Japanese, the Arabs etc.
>I used to think Italy as a single nation was a thing in the Middle Ages.
>I used to think that Scandinavia was a real country.
>I used to think that Australia was completely empty before the English arrived.

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>>1749056
Same.

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>used to think the Ottoman empire was a mere myth
>it actually existed

I used to think the race for the presidency was an actual foot race that the leading contenders would have around a track with the winner, naturally, taking the office of POTUS.

>>1749282
>>1749056
Holy Scheiße

>>1749296
Why do you need a tripcode.

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>used to think Upper Egypt was in the north
>used to think the Roman senate was there to "represent" the people

>>1749329
>a fucking roach

>>1748991
>>used to think Rome was still a real culture/empire because when I was 6 my friend's parents hired two actors to roleplay legionaries on his birthday

Your friend's family sounds fucking awesome.

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>>1751518

>>1748991

>Be taught a bit about religious history
>Be told about how Christianity split off from Judaism, and eventually became the largest world religion.
>Had no idea about the plethora of pagan religions all over the place
>Had assumed that if Christianity hadn't taken off, the overwhelming majority of Europe and places influenced by it would have been Jewish.

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I used to think Montenegro is in Africa.

I used to call the Renaissance "The Lancelot", no idea how I got the idea it's called like that.

Up to age 8 or 9, maybe even 10, I didn't actually think anyone at all at the modern age still believed in God. I literally thought all the holidays were just tradition and maybe some role playing.

Aside from these quirks I used to believe the usual spiel; dark ages, religious people had a phobia from science (Protestants still do kek), the common war narratives about WW2, America's role etc.

>>1748991
>Used to think there were 1 million countries in the HRE
>Used to think that the Roman Empire just controlled the cost of the Mediterranean Sea and nothing else
>Used to think that Germany conquered all of Europe in WWII until America saved the day

>>1748991
I used to think Rome existed in medieval times.

This is why i thought it was weird that Rome Total War and Medieval II Total War were separate games. (before playing them, of course)

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I was home schooled until age 15 because my parents were super paranoid. My dad didn't teach me history, in its place he taught me 'daddy studies' where he basically claimed credit for various historical things (mostly inventions). I had no friends so never went outside so didn't really question it, especially as we had shit internet and I wanted to use my internet time on porn not history websites.

My dad taught me that

>He invented the lightbulb
>He invented the window
>He invented peanut butter
>He invented the internet, and the reason it made high pitched noises when connecting (it was dial up) was because the internet hurt him and he was screaming which is why I only had 1 hour a day
>When he was born dinosaurs were still alive, and if you look at their fossils you will see scratches because he used their bones to sharpen his nails
>He never taught WW2, British Empire, American Revolution, didn't know those things happened


Whenever I ask him about this now he insists it was all a joke and I forgot the actual history classes he gave.

>>1749010
t. RTW player

>>1752993
>haha son it was just a prank, look there's the hidden camera

>>1748991
used to think the holy roman empire was actually the romans

>>1752981
It did

t. Giannis Christianopolous

> I used to think that all republic nominees were descendent's of George Washington and named George and that all Democrat nominees were descendent's of Lincoln

Whew

>>1753112
i used to think republicans were for republics and democrats were for democracy

I used to think that the "Holy" "Roman" "Empire" is actually holy, Roman or an empire at all. Imagine that!

>>1749296
Tripfag

I thought Abraham cut off his wiener.

>>1753124
I don't get this meme. Can you explain?

>>1753564
it's from something Voltaire said

I used to think that England won the Hundred Years War and France separated from England during the French Revolution

Also thought that Irish and English people were the same

>>1749056
Wait a minute, you mean they aren't frozen by ash?

>>1753075
Everyone at the time recognized them as Romans and called them Roman, so it's true.

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>>1753301
>>1751518

>Used to think everyone was a Christian
>Used to think everyone held YE Creationist views

>>1748991
> thought australia was austria
> Thought the USA encompassed the entire northern american continent
> Thought Frederick Barbarossa led Operation Barbarossa in world war 2 because it was named after him.

In my defence, I was 6.

>>1748991
I once asked my parents what life was like in the year 1000, shortly after my dad told me it was the year 2000 now.

>>1752853
SHOO SHOO COCKROACH BRITAIN

I used to think Greek Orthodox Church worships Zeus and other Greek gods

>>1754052
That would be pretty cool.

>>1751499
>tfw scribes immortalize your penis inspection

>>1748991
I thought Albania was an African nation.

>>1748991
>used to think the roman empire ended with the fall of the west

>>1752853
SHOO SHOO COCKROACH BRITAIN

>>1753973
How come you are not banned yet

I thought Dunkirk was in North Africa/Egypt, for some reason

When I was younger I thought Timbuktu was a city in Illinois in the states.

>>1748991
>anything outside of america exist
>FDR didn't made it up to hide his genocide of billions of americans
>everybody who says otherwise totally isn't CIA/FBI faggot

Now I know better

I thought Hitler was still alive and WWII was in the late 90's

I thought 9/11 was done by Japanese Kamikaze fighters

>>1755413
>I thought 9/11 was done by Japanese Kamikaze fighters
Considering that those tojo motherfuckers are bunch of backstabbing assholes I wouldn't be surprised if they were the ones who are really behind 9/11.

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>>1755403
You know, I've asked that question many times myself throughout the course of enlightening this board about House Osman and it's great feats. But then I realized, I am actually posting stuff related to history and the only ones getting mad are either butthurt balkies or the /pol/ adherents that don't wanna admit our great Turkic legacy.
Since even my "worst" posts are more related than 60% of the shit being posted on this board daily of atheist vs christian shitflinging or /pol/ies attacking the religion of peace or just plain memes in general.

Hell, the only reason you notice me is cause of the name and titles given to me by my forebearers, otherwise I'd be another "roach".

>>1752993
Holy shit my sides. Your parents are cunts

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>>1752993
>'daddy studies'

>>1755413
how old are you?