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The first shitposter

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Thread replies: 81
Thread images: 16

The first shitposter
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>>17292
Nope
http://www.pompeiana.org/Resources/Ancient/Graffiti%20from%20Pompeii.htm
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>>17292
>picture of Luther
>with THAT body
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>>17319
>>17292
>You will never let your shitposts be known
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>>17319
Theres a quote in there which perfectly sums up >Tfw no gf
If i remember correctly
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>>17319
every time
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>>17319
>II.7 (gladiator barracks); 8767: Floronius, privileged soldier of the 7th legion, was here. The women did not know of his presence. Only six women came to know, too few for such a stallion

Fuck off normie
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>>17292
The second shitposter
>were where you when Rome admitted Luther was a bretty gud guy?
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>>17292
I've heard that Luther nailing the Ninety Five Theses to the front door of the church is a complete fiction, is that true?
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>>17384
>tfw Gaius and Aulus probably died in each other's arms as a pyroclastic flow from mount Vesuvius engulfed their bodies

Truly the greatest bros of all time
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>>17400
damn I wish I was born before Vatican II and never experienced it
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>>17384
>Herculaneum (bar/inn joined to the maritime baths); 10675: Two friends were here. While they were, they had bad service in every way from a guy named Epaphroditus. They threw him out and spent 105 and half sestertii most agreeably on whores.
I wonder if its the same lads
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>V.5.3 (barracks of the Julian-Claudian gladiators; column in the peristyle); 4289: Celadus the Thracian gladiator is the delight of all the girls
Celadus confirmed for Chad
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>>17319
>I.10.2-3 (Bar of Prima); 8297: Word square

the first squareposter
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>VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1820: Chie, I hope your hemorrhoids rub together so much that they hurt worse than when they every have before!

Chie confirmed for worst girl, Naoto forever
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>>17319
>"O walls, you have held up so much tedious graffiti that I am amazed that you have not already collapsed in ruin."

How prophetic.
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>>17384
>>17437
>>17509
>Roman bromance
You just KNOW that shit involved enough brojobs to make /fit/ look straight
>>
>>17319
>VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1824: Let everyone one in love come and see. I want to break Venus’ ribs with clubs and cripple the goddess’ loins. If she can strike through my soft chest, then why can’t I smash her head with a club?
What a supreme gentleman.
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>>17403
idk about that, but I do know that his quote from the diet of worms, "Here I stand, I can do no other. God help me, amen." was made up later.
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>>17292
your forced meme isn't going to catch on just because you're on a new board. fuck you and fuck off faggot
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>>17319
IX.8.3 (House of the Centenary; interior of the house); 5279: Once you are dead, you are nothing
>tips Phrygian
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>>17319

> VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1811: A small problem gets larger if you ignore it.

I don't want to know what this poor bastard was going through. Definitely STD
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>>17292
>shitposter

THAT IS AN INADVERTENTLY APPROPRIATE TERM, BECAUSE THE CONCEPT OF "PROTESTANTISM" OCCURRED TO MARTIN LUTHER WHILST DEFECATING.
>>
>>17319
this always reminds me of that bit in Monty Python's Life of Brian where he's trying to write "romans go home" in latin on a wall when a roman officer comes by and corrects his grammar
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>>17361

>VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1837: If you are able, but not willing, why do you put off our joy and kindle hope and tell me always to come back tomorrow. So, force me to die since you force me to live without you. Your gift will be to stop torturing me. Certainly, hope returns to the lover what it has once snatched away.

> that feelus whennius no girlfriendium
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>>17806
Fuck off, that one's cute.
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>II.7 (gladiator barracks); 8792: On April 19th, I made bread
I don't want to know
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>>17339
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>>18091
i like to think it's a euphemism for fucking a plebeian

>i made bread
>i.e. i fucked someone who can only afford bread
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>>17319
II.2.1 (Bar of Astylus and Pardalus); 8408: Lovers are like bees in that they live a honeyed life
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>>18267

Carlus!
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>VII.1.40 (House of Caesius Blandus; in the peristyle of the House of Mars and Venus on the Street of the Augustales); 1714: It took 640 paces to walk back and forth between here and there ten times
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>>17619
implying it wasnt john cena and that wasnt how they said word life back in those days.


john cena confirmed either time traveler or immortal rasslin god.
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> VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1882: The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
What does it mean?
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>>18621
ancient roman version of "don't stick your dick in crazy"
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>>18621
>>18668
knowledge of da streets senpai
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>>17944
People called Romanes they go the house?
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>>17384
>you will never die in the arms of your roman warrior bro
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>>18621
It means dont put yo dick near my mixtape Senpai
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>>17319
>I.2.20 (Bar/Brothel of Innulus and Papilio); 3932: Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men’s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!
What a faggot.
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>>17319
>I.10.2-3 (Bar of Prima); 8258, 8259: The story of Successus, Severus and Iris is played out on the walls of a bar: [Severus]: “Successus, a weaver, loves the innkeeper’s slave girl named Iris. She, however, does not love him. Still, he begs her to have pity on him. His rival wrote this. Goodbye.”. [Answer by Successus]: “Envious one, why do you get in the way. Submit to a handsomer man and one who is being treated very wrongly and good looking.” [Answer by Severus]: “I have spoken. I have written all there is to say. You love Iris, but she does not love you.”
>>
Fucking Martin Luther

So guys, did he have a point? Was the Catholic church corrupt beyond saving?
Had Henry VIII not been an insufferable poon hound, would Protestantism taken off to the extent that it did?
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>>19147
>Anglicanism
>Related to or even respected continental Protestants

And yes, the Catholic church of the 1510s was getting a little out of line and needed to be adjusted. Whether that meant a small tweak or a massive reformation is debatable.
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>>17319

>Palmyra, the thirst-quencher
IT'S GOT WHAT PLANTS CRAVE!
>On April 19th, I made bread

some of these are so silly I can't believe it
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>>18133
I used to sometimes masturbate to a fantastical alternate history where Luther remained loyal to the Church and advanced into the bishopry, and eventually wound up a cardinal. He became grossly fat, and I would jerk off to the thought of him gorging himself while meekly affirming the authority of the Pope.
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>>19147

Beyond saving? No, otherwise there wouldn't still be so many catholics today.

But Luther was right in that at the time it had some serious corruption issues to address.
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>>19302
making bread has to be slang for something, there's just no way that's literal
>>
Some top tier Luther quotes

>Suppose I should counsel the wife of an impotent man, with his consent, to giver herself to another, say her husband’s brother, but to keep this marriage secret and to ascribe the children to the so-called putative father. The question is: Is such a women in a saved state? I answer, certainly.

>Christ committed adultery first of all with the women at the well about whom St. John tell’s us. Was not everybody about Him saying: ‘Whatever has He been doing with her?’ Secondly, with Mary Magdalen, and thirdly with the women taken in adultery whom He dismissed so lightly. Thus even, Christ who was so righteous, must have been guilty of fornication before He died

>Know that Marriage is an outward material thing like any other secular business.

See also

>Martin Luther also took note of the similarities between Islam and Protestantism in the rejection of idols, although he noted Islam was much more drastic in its complete rejection of images. In On War against the Turk, Luther is actually less critical of the Turks than he is of the Pope, whom he calls an anti-Christ, or the Jews, whom he describes as "the Devil incarnate".[16] He urges his contemporaries to also see the good aspects in the Turks, and refers to some who were favourable to the Ottoman Empire, and "who actually want the Turk to come and rule, because they think that our German people are wild and uncivilized - indeed that they are half-devil and half-man".[17]

>Martin Luther's ambivalence also appears in one of his other comments, in which he said that "A smart Turk makes a better ruler than a dumb Christian".[15]

>The Ottomans also felt closer to the Protestants than to the Catholics. At one point, a letter was sent from Suleiman the Magnificent to the "Lutherans" in Flanders, claiming that he felt close to them, "since they did not worship idols, believed in one God and fought against the Pope and Emperor".[18][19]
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>>19417
Why the FUCK did this addled German shitposter get taken seriously? This is ridiculous. THIS is the fellow that Protestants consider the founder of their religion?
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>>19417
>I answer, certainly.

That's hot.
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>>19147
Since the Church has been redeemed from where it was, I'd say no.
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>>17319
ROMA
OLIM
MILO
AMOR
>>
This isn't a history thread.

Report and move on
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>>19339
funnily enough, there's a story in the Decameron (which was written in the 1300's) about two merchants in Paris who are friends, one jewish one christian. The christian is really upset over the idea that his friend is going to go to hell so he tries to get him to convert. He has him meet with a local preacher but he decides he can't turn his back on his faith. Eventually when he sees how much his friend is bothered the jew tells him he'll go to Rome and meet with the pope to get a better understanding of christianity. The christian merchant's heart sinks when he hears this because he knows the pope is a completely corrupt creep and once he meets him he'll NEVER convert. But when he gets back from Rome he's already been baptized, shocked he asks him what changed his mind to which he tells him all these stories about the terrible debauchery he saw amongst the clergy in Rome. Yet despite this christianity has flourished while judaism has suffered, clearly this is evidence that christianity is god's one true faith.
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>>17292
Luther ruined europe
prove me wrong
>pro tip
you cant
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>>19466
he was also pretty hardcore in his hatred for jews, not really sure if that was in or out of step with the time though
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>>17319

>Chie, I hope your hemorrhoids rub together so much that they hurt worse than when they every have before!

BTFO
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>>19585
This isn't a history post.

Report and move on
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>>19633
I'd say things turned out ok in the long run
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>>17319
Top kek
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>>17319
>VI.16.15 (atrium of the House of Pinarius); 6842: If anyone does not believe in Venus, they should gaze at my girl friend
>pic related, it's me and my bitch
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>>18091
>the very first /ck/ post
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>>19633
Actually, the Christian cult ruined Europe.
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>>19147
Only reason iirc Protestantism even took off was because the pope didn't grant his annulment to his first wife on the count that Chucky and the Frenchies had Rome at the time, and they frowned upon shit like divorces. If the Pope granted his request in front of the French, it would have caused a shitstorm. If French forces weren't in Rome at time and the Pope granted the annulment, I don't think Henry would have invented Protestantism just so he could get his divorce.
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III.5.3 (on the wall in the street); 8898: Theophilus, don’t perform oral sex on girls against the city wall like a dog


It's me. I'm Theophilus.
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>>20461
I feel bad reading about him, since by that point there was really nothing that could be done to restore paganism, and how everyone mocked him for pagan LARPing.
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>>17292
I want /lit/ to leave.
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>>17806
Ellioutos
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>>19417
People say a lot of shit about travelling back in time and killing Hitler, but honestly just imagine if someone killed Luther before he set back western civilization hundreds of years back

Where would we be right now? A 80+% white, christian planet?
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>>21608
Imagine traveling back even further in time and just quietly shuffling the Jews off of the map before Alexander saw them.
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>>21608
I highly doubt it
And I wouldn't want to live in a world like that
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>>19466
>Why the FUCK did this addled German shitposter get taken seriously? This is ridiculous. THIS is the fellow that Protestants consider the founder of their religion?
Literally because barons and kings who wanted churches they could control supported him.
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>>19147
The church during Luthers time was corrupt to the core. It needed to change. Luther never set out to destroy the Catholic Church however. His hand was forced when the Pope broke with him and the German princes saw an opportunity to centralise church authority to themselves. It's like how he became an anti-semite after they denied his call for conversion. With Luther you get one chance to reconsider before you become his mortal enemy.

Luther in the end ended up as a political pawn. While he wanted the state to confiscate church property, he also wanted the state to dole out its bloated riches to the poor and needy. Instead, the state took the wealth for itself. This is the reason Protestantism even took hold. Because it further centralised royal authority.
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>>17400
None of that really changed doctrine shit. Just the way they did things.
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>>18382
Carolus, step up sempai
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>>17292
Was he Australian?
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>>17319
II.7 (gladiator barracks); 8792: On April 19th, I made bread
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>>25752
It's just like Facebook or Twitter.
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>>17319
>Herculaneum (on a water distribution tower); 10488: Anyone who wants to defecate in this place is advised to move along. If you act contrary to this warning, you will have to pay a penalty. Children must pay [number missing] silver coins. Slaves will be beaten on their behinds.

>Herculaneum (on the exterior wall of a house); 10619: Apollinaris, the doctor of the emperor Titus, defecated well here
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Has /his/ got its first tripfag shitposter yet?
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>>18423
>>18668
>>20311
>>25841
Thread posts: 81
Thread images: 16


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