>You wake up as Hitler on Jan 1 1934 What does /his/ do?

>>1556066
Feel my testies

kms since i only have one ball

Kill myself and save Germany.

>>1556066
unite the germanic people under one flag

>>1556079

Then Goebbels takes over and drivers Germany down even farther

>>1556079
hey reddit

>>1556066
don't invade poland
don't kill all the jews

>>1556087

>don't invade poland

muh eastern prusisa

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>>1556067

>>1556066
Do everything I could to portray the Russians as the real enemies. Work my ass to form an alliance with America, ind my own business in Germany, make friends with the Scandinavian, Baltic and central european countries, seek support from Portugal, Spain and Italy, make the USSR fall into the Poland trap, make small eastern countries attack them, and when they are weak, go full blitzkrieg into them, fuck them in Moscow and St. Petersburg, use the German victory over the dirty socialist pigs as propaganda throughout Europe and invite countries like France into a Great Germanic Confederation, basically control all of Europe directly or through puppet states, replace retards like Mussolini woth competent people, wait till everybody in Europe is happy, colonize Africa in the menwhile, build relations with Japan, go Blitzkrieg into Chine with the aid of Japan and other european puppets, control middle eastern oil, wait some years, support governments like Perón in Argentina, and then go full blitzkrieg into the US
>???
Total control of the World

This would take many years and would be completed by the time Hitler was in his 70s or 80s.

>>1556066
>You wake up as Hitler on Jan 1 1934

I wake up hung over because you know I partied like it was 1933 last night. After a couple hours of mounting headache and nausea, I puke in my wastebin, and sneak it down the hall to wash out when it sounds like nobody is around. Then I go back to bed and try to sleep.

invade Russia

Fuck Eva braun

>>1556066
Hand things over to Himmler and go back to painting

>>1556087

>>1556066

Don't kill the Jews or persecute minorties for a start.

But I would invade other countries.

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>>1556263

Anschluss was a good idea. In fact, invading France was even a good idea. Poland should have remained a buffer against the Russians, at least temporarily.

>>1556066
All as planned but never ally italy, dont invade russia and when pearl harbour happens demonize japan

Only other thing I would change is putting more resources into figuring out assault rifles and less on giant death cannons on railways

>get up to the point right before invade poland
>dont

>instead PUSH HARD my scientists who are currently building jet engine technology; literally throw money at them
>also the nuclear arsenal

>seeing as though no scientists were pushed out due to the war, theres a snowballs chance in hell that America gets nukes in the next two decades since all the escaped scientists jump started the Manhattan project

>armed with nukes, armed with jet tech, i now invade Russia under the guise of protecting the west from Communism
>take the Ukraine/Moldolva promising vassalization with limited self governance to which they will jump to no longer be under the yoke of their oppresors

>take the entire western half of Russia then sue for peace
>resettle civilians there
>the saviour of Europe
The russians were in NO CAPACITY for large scale warfare.

Divert all resources to making Mauses

>>1556067
/thread

>>1556276
>less on giant death cannons on railways

they looked cool though!

Kill everyone I know and try to inflict as much damage on the Reich as I can. Afterwards, I kill myself.

>>1556066
>Slowly purge all anti-Semitic and racial elements in the party in order to keep Jewish scientists
>Make it strictly German nationalist + anti communist
>Everything stays the same until Munich
>Do NOT take all of Czechoslovakia, only Sudetenland in order to keep Britain's trust
>Demand for Danzig and stop any further expansion
>Wait until USSR tries to invade Poland
>With French and UK help destroy it
>Create vassal states in eastern Europe

I win

Shave so people have a harder time with the caricatures

>>1556302
>>1556288
>>1556276
I have this weird memory of my dad telling me how he's convinced Hitler was a complete and utter maniac because he saw the Maus in a Russian tank museum on a business trip

VAKE UP IN ZEE MORGEN FEELIN LIKE DAS FUHRER

I'VE GOT A PLAN IN MEIN HEAD I'M GONNA MAKE MY RACE PURER

BEFORE I LEAVE, FUCK MY NIECE, UND EVA BRAUN TOO

CUZ WANN I LEAVE FOR ZEE NIGHT

I'M GONNA KILL SOME JOOS

>ITT make up posible situations that could have happened if the third Reich wasn't controlled by a complete mother fucker.

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>>1556066
>What does /his/ do?
Pic related

Wouldn't those who say
>don't invade other countries
>don't persecute jews
would just get overthrown by the rest of the Nazi Party who would feel Hitler betrayed their ideas? These people hated Jews and wanted to create a German empire. Hell, if Hitler refused to take German territories like Austria, Eastern Prussia and Sudetenland, even the regular people might revolt against him, uniting all Germans in one country was his stated goal.

>>1556350
best movie, best answer

>Withdraw from Versailles treaty
>remilitarize the Rheinland
>annex Austria for muh unification of all Germans under one flag
>try purchasing Alsace-Lorraine from France or Sudetenland from Czech (probably get rejected on both offers but worth a try)
Then I'd stop right there

>>1556066
Give my men winter equipment and build more defenses against Russia.
Organize Luftwaffe strikes on Russian industrial sites and high population areas.
Round up the intelligent Jews like Einstein first and kill the ones that left Germany.
Make friends with America.

How come only 15% of the German army had winter gear during the Russian invasion?

Invade Poland earlier in 1939, but let the generals, particularly the ones advocating mechanized warfare run the show. Turn on France as quickly as possible, knock them out of the war before 1940. Invade the Soviets in 1940, prepare for a multi year campaign that includes the three major cities as the objectives of army group thrusts. Treat occupied peoples in eastern countries well as much as possible. If the Soviets are not defeated by the summer of 1942 the war is over and I try to sue for peace. Otherwise I create fortress Europa and prepare for air war against the British and their American allies.
Also, don't back up the Japanese at all.

>>1556066
Invade Italy, burn the Vatican, kill the Pope and the college of cardinals

>>1556385
>How come only 15% of the German army had winter gear during the Russian invasion?
They were gonna be home by Christmas. All they had to do was kick down the door and the whole rotten edifice would collapse.

Make my scientists build
>a mech
>a secret moonbase

>>1556319
What's the point of it all if you're still going to have the the Jews leeching and corrupting your nation?

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>>1556066
jerk off

>>1556423
GroBBBBB xDDD

>>1556066
Build a stronger navy so I can take down the Eternal Anglo.

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>>1556082
Go back to /pol/

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This thread is full of scum

Use my future knowledge to successfully take over the world and eliminate the jewish threat once and for all

>>1556081
Goebbels was not made to be a ruler.
Also he was a russiaboo and liked expressive art, but ditched these views for the sake of hitlers favour so there is a chance that he would have been a little bit softer.

>>1556066
Off myself. I don't want to live in 1934 where i cant shitpost

>>1557697
>he was a russiaboo
Really?

>>1556385
How to fuck do you manage to kill somebody that already left you country ?

I mean you could do it on smale scale but you could not do anything on grand scheme of things.

>>1557864
He loved white russia as far as I know but retreated his stance to "can we treat their peasants a bit less harsh-no? Ok nevermind .."

>>1556066
Haste to make the DDR and team with Stalin to eliminate the global capitalism
>>1556160
This is what exactly Hitler tried but life wasn`t so easy

Not invade Poland. Support Findland in the Winter War so they don't lose territory. Don't declare war the united states after pearl harbor.

deport the jews and the gypsies.

tell italy to cool it.

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>>1557609
>bolshevik redditor getting uppity

I would be the nicest and humane hitler you have ever seen until they'd drag me on
>>1558060
this pedestal right here to say something to my people which would be the point were the anxiety kicks in and things are going downhill for me.

>>1556284
>invading russia in '45 or later
Congratulations retard, the Soviet officer corps has recovered from the purges, the Soviets have sped past your industry while you are lagging behind, and have thousands of more tanks than you.

>>1557864
He was a Slavaboo in general. Even dated a Czech actress until Hitler made him dump her.

>>1557968
Where the fuck are you gonna deport them to? Should have invaded poland for that lebensraum, desu.

>>1558092
>"Z-zeebra"

>>1558130
To the depths of Baltic sea

>>1556066
Forcefully assimilate and integrate the Jews, and force Jewish scientists to swear an oath of loyalty to Germany and her peoples. Ban the Jewish religion. Offer honorary Aryan status to more Jews, but they get visited weekly by Gestapo. Ship off the poor religious Jews in the ghettos to Palestine. Kill the Jewish bankers, nationalize the banks, and prevent Jews from operating them. Say you will breed out the bad traits of the Jews with the nobility of the Aryan people. Gypsies are worthless though, so kill them.

Become the world's first rapper.

>>1556066

"OH MY GOD I'M FINALLY WHITE"

Do my very best to gain Sudetenland and Austria peacefully, then the Danzig corridor.

Once that's done, chillax. Make a civil religion out of nazism, don't concentrate any camps, make germany great again, meld all different german identities like Prussian, Bavarian, Austrian etc into one.

Then guarantee the independence of POland once I acquire Prussia.

>>1556392
Lutheran detected

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>>1556397
I like the way you think.

What was Hitler's opinion on Japs? They should be subhuman t.b.h., I don't think he was really happy with allying them.

You eradicate the shoe beings.

Remember this line. Sometimes parents leave shoes behind for their children to walk them. Other times parents leave shoes behind for their children to walk in them.

If every individual was part of an association or company. And they realize theirs newer blood coming in to their fields. What they leave is useless. Unless they create something meaningful.

>>1556066
>What does /his/ do?

Sound economic reforms instead of debt.
Tolerance instead of racism.
Pacifism instead of war.

>>1559629
faggot

>>1559500
He even intended to ally with ROC earlier on.