ITT: absolute madmen of history

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>>1468457

Princip

King leonidas

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Obligatory

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seyit_%C3%87abuk

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>so Hannibal decided to march into Rome through the Alps
>AND HE ACTUALLY DID IT THE ABSOLUTE MAD MAN

Alexander the Great
>Conquer and create the biggest empire the world had ever seen in 10 years
>Proceed to ruse the shit out of people and cause a 200 year long series of interregnum wars because you are about to die and are pissy about not being able to rule it
Absolute madman

Timothy Dexter

>Timothy Dexter was born in Malden, Massachusetts. He had little schooling and worked as a farm laborer at the age of 8.[1] When he was 16, he became an apprentice to a leather-dresser.[2] In 1769, he moved to Newburyport, Massachusetts. He married Elizabeth Frothingham, a rich widow, and bought a mansion. Some of his social contemporaries considered him unintelligent. Many of them gave him bad business advice to discredit him and make him lose his fortune.

>Because he was largely uneducated, his business sense was considered peculiar. He was inspired to send warming pans (used to heat sheets in the cold New England winters) for sale to the West Indies, a tropical area. His captain sold them as ladles for the local molasses industry and made a good profit.[3] Next, Dexter sent wool mittens to the same place, where Asian merchants bought them for export to Siberia.[1]

>People jokingly told him to "ship coal to Newcastle". He did so during a miners' strike at the time, and his cargo was sold at a premium.[4][5]

>At another time, practical jokers told him he could make money shipping gloves to the South Sea Islands. His ships arrived there in time to sell the gloves to Portuguese boats on their way to China.[4]

>He exported Bibles to the East Indies and stray cats to Caribbean islands and again made a profit; eastern missionaries were in need of the Bibles and the Caribbean welcomed a solution to rat infestation.[1] He also hoarded whalebone by mistake, but ended up selling them profitably as a support material for corsets.[1]

>Members of the New England high society rarely socialized with him. Dexter decided to buy a huge house in Newburyport from Nathaniel Tracy, a local socialite, and tried to emulate them.[1] His relationships with his wife, daughter, and son also suffered. This became evident when he started telling visitors that his wife had died (despite the fact that she was still alive) and that the woman who frequented the building was simply her ghost.[1] In one notable episode, Dexter faked his own death to see how people would react. About 3,000 people attended Dexter's mock wake. Dexter did not see his wife cry, and after he revealed the hoax, he caned her for not grieving enough.[6]

>Dexter also bought an estate in Chester, New Hampshire. He decorated his house in Newburyport with minarets, a golden eagle on the top of the cupola, a mausoleum for himself and a garden of 40 wooden statues of famous men, including George Washington, William Pitt, Napoleon Bonaparte, Thomas Jefferson, and himself. It had the inscription, "I am the first in the East, the first in the West, and the greatest philosopher in the Western World".

MAD
MAN

>>1469578
>>1469579
I refuse to believe this is true.

>>1469055
Trump is like Andrew Jackson and Gordon Gekko rolled into one

>>1469578
This is Forrest Gump tier

>>1469578
I refuse to believe there has been someone with this much luck in the world.

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>>1468457
Joan Pujol i García aka Garbo aka Alaric Arabel
>Be Catalan
>Deceive and mislead the Germans
>Win WWII
>Both a MBE and a recipient of the (nazi) Iron Cross.

>>1468457

That's a claybeg not a claymore. I hate reading about Jack Churchill now because everyone is mostly wrong. He was cool and all, but he was also cool after the war and in his civilian life.

>overrated meme soldiers general

>>1469732
Man, if he wins this he'll feel like a quadrillion bucks, especially after he makes half the world eat crow

>>1471639
>>1471420

Read about him. He is a spy, not a soldier.

>>1468491

>Got into politics for one purpose
>Resigned immediately after that purpose was fulfilled

Bless that beautiful bastard.

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>>1469578
>>1469579
Every time.

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>>1469055

>>1469055
what a magnificent motherfucker

>>1469732
aside from being loud they have little in common

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>>1469578
lmao

>>1469525
>Believing meme stories
Obviously the generals would have fought. They were all highly influential and ambitious to just step aside for an appointed Successor

>>1469522
With ELEPHANTS

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Publius_Clodius_Pulcher

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>>1468457
>Start off as a prostitute.
>Become Chinese Pirate Queen.
>In terms of manpower, command the largest navy the world has ever seen.
>Beat the Portuguese navy.
>Beat the British navy.
>Beat the Qing dynasty navy.
>Loot everything (but no rape, cuz yer progressive pirates.)
>Get granted amnesty by Qing.
>Pardoning you, and all your captains and crew...
>...and they all get to keep their loot.
>Retire, die of old age while swimming in gold at 69.
ABSOLUTE MADWOMAN!

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Baron Adrian von Folkersam

>In early August 1942, a Brandenburger unit of 62 Baltic and Sudeten Germans led by von Fölkersam penetrated farther into enemy territory than any other German unit. They had been ordered to seize and secure the vital Maikop oilfields. Disguised as men of the dreaded Soviet security police, the NKVD, and driving Soviet trucks, Fölkersam's unit passed through the Soviet front lines and moved deep into hostile territory. The Brandenburgers ran into a large group of Red Army deserters fleeing from the front. Fölkersam saw an opportunity to use them to the unit's advantage. By persuading them to return to the Soviet cause, he was able to join with them and move almost at will through the Russian lines.

>Operating under the false identity of NKVD Major Truchin, based in Stalingrad, Fölkersam explained his role in recovering the deserters to the Soviet commander in charge of Maikop's defences. The commander not only believed Fölkersam, but the next day gave him a personal tour of the city's defenses. By August 8, the German spearheads were only 12 miles away and the Brandenburgers made their move. Using grenades to simulate an artillery attack, they knocked out the military communications centre for the city. Fölkersam then went to the Russian defenders and told them that a withdrawal was taking place. Having seen Fölkersam with their commander and lacking any communications to rebut or confirm his statement, the Soviets began to evacuate Maikop. The German spearhead entered the city without a fight on August 9, 1942.

>>1472392
I doubt there's a woman as mad as her. Except maybe Olga of Kiev.

Julius Caesar and his story with the pirates is pretty absolutely mad.

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>On April 11, Hauptsturmfuhrer Fritz Klingenberg’s instructions were to reconnoiter and establish checkpoints, secure any bridges and roads encountered, then hold for reinforcements. Heavy rains and melting snow had washed away nearly all soft surfaces, and bridges had been destroyed by retreating Yugoslav forces. The main avenues of approach to Belgrade were no longer viable routes, and the tanks would be hard pressed to continue without massive engineering support to clear those areas. After several hours of observing the stricken city from across the Danube River, Klingenberg believed that Belgrade was his for the taking, due to the confusion caused by the bombardments — provided his unit arrived in time. He had only 24 hours to submit a report to his command, and a decision had to be made quickly.

>Klingenberg saw a chance to probe more deeply into the city’s environs when one of his men found an abandoned motorboat tied to a tree along the banks of the swollen Danube. Taking only one sergeant and five privates, he negotiated the treacherous river. The trip was extremely dangerous, the currents raging from the runoff of melting snow in the mountains and from torrential rains. The boat was overloaded, as well. Reaching the far side of the Danube, Klingenberg sent two men back to ferry more troops over before sunset. On the return trip, however the boat struck a submerged obstacle and sank. Klingenberg’s ‘navy’ ceased to exist, leaving the captain and six of his men stranded. They were totally isolated, with limited supplies and ammunition.

>>1472422


>The squad advanced along the road and encountered a few British-made vehicles manned by Yugoslav soldiers. They captured two trucks and a bus, along with some 20 enemy soldiers. One of the men on the bus was an inebriated German tourist who had been trapped in Belgrade since the invasion started. The tourist, who spoke Croatian, had been apprehended as a spy by the Yugoslav soldiers and was being taken to be executed. He was still drunk and unaware of his impending fate. When he sobered up, he thought that he was still among his group of partygoers until he was informed of the situation. Klingenberg used him as an interpreter, in which capacity the grateful German was most helpful.

>The SS men continued on, using their prisoners and a few captured uniforms to get past several enemy checkpoints. They made good progress the first day without any of the enemy checkpoint guards becoming suspicious. The Germans added the Yugoslav guards to the increasing number of prisoners they were collecting along the way. The population of Belgrade, after several days of bombing, was anticipating a long siege rather than an attack, and the lax security that Klingenberg encountered played directly into his hands.

>Upon entering the outskirts of the city, the Germans became involved in a two-hour running firefight. They finally drove their captured vehicles into the city with many wounded prisoners aboard, including the hapless tourist. Miraculously, none of the SS men were wounded in the fight. They ended up in the city center, all alone and surrounded by a wide-eyed, bewildered population. The only SS casualty in Belgrade thus far was a private who had fallen and sprained his wrist.

>>1472428

>The Germans were amazed to find that no one attacked them in the city. The civilians went about their daily business as if nothing had happened. Klingenberg ordered Sergeant Hans Hossfelder to raise the German colors, replacing the Yugoslavian national flag with the German ensign shortly after 5 p.m. on April 12. Under Klingenberg’s orders, his men began to strut about the city on patrol, giving the inhabitants the unmistakable impression that they were in charge.

>The mayor of Belgrade came up to the Germans, complete with his entourage of city officials and in proper ceremonial dress. After asking what was going on, he inquired about the terms of surrender. Klingenberg told the mayor that his was the point team of several SS tank divisions, and if he did not check in with his unit by radio with the information requested, the Luftwaffe would continue their attempts to level the city. He also said that the air attacks would be followed by an artillery barrage and armored and infantry attacks that would spare no one.

>The other Germans looked at their leader as if he was mad. Their radio was damaged and could not transmit, only receive; their unit was a considerable distance away; and they were out of ammunition and food. Sergeant Hossfelder later told his captain that he was in the wrong business, adding that the Propaganda Ministry could surely find a use for him.

>>1471738
Is nothing sacred anymore?

The mayor fell for the ruse, and after an hour-long conversation with Klingenberg, he began the necessary arrangements for the surrender of the city. Then, as if on cue, a group of German aircraft flew over the city on a reconnaissance mission, and Klingenberg took advantage of the moment. He looked up, pointing to the sky, and reminded the mayor that the clock was ticking. Klingenberg gave his word that if all instructions were followed, no further harm would befall the city or its inhabitants. The city officials seemed relieved to hear that.

The soldiers and city militia agreed to lay down their arms in exchange for the Germans’ ceasing additional attacks. The Yugoslav army stacked its arms in the city square, and Klingenberg had all of the men register with the mayor. Klingenberg then ordered the prisoners to quarter themselves in four of the largest hotels and posted a German guard to each building. The handful of Germans had just captured more than 1,300 troops and a city with a population of over 200,000 without firing a single shot. The city had suffered considerable damage, but not enough to prevent the locals from continuing with life and business as usual. Yugaslav soldiers outside the city, unaware of what had happened to their capital, drove into Belgrade only to be ordered by their superiors to lay down their arms, abandon their vehicles and march to the hotels. All the Yugoslavians complied without hesitation.

Klingenberg and his men made themselves comfortable in the city’s finest hotel, making fake radio transmissions to reinforce the charade. They stockpiled bottles of wine and weapons, and two of the men disappeared with a couple of local women. Meanwhile, Klingenberg consolidated his position, knowing that things could still go wrong. If the main force did not arrive soon, the game was up. He had his men recruit locals to help procure every map, police record and tax record in the city.

>>1469578
>His relationships with his wife, daughter, and son also suffered. This became evident when he started telling visitors that his wife had died (despite the fact that she was still alive) and that the woman who frequented the building was simply her ghost
> In one notable episode, Dexter faked his own death to see how people would react. About 3,000 people attended Dexter's mock wake. Dexter did not see his wife cry, and after he revealed the hoax, he caned her for not grieving enough.
>Aged 50, Dexter wrote a book about himself – A Pickle for the Knowing Ones or Plain Truth in a Homespun Dress – in which he also complained about politicians, the clergy and his wife.

>>1472439

oops

>The chief of police was ordered to provide a list of all criminals in the city, stating their crimes, age and other pertinent information. Women with nursing skills were to report for duty immediately, and all doctors were called in as well. Every liter of gasoline was accounted for, and oil, medical supplies and other necessities were placed in special holding facilities. The hospital was to be neutral ground, and all health care was to be maintained as a gesture of good will. Klingenberg even ordered the schools to remain open and placed no restrictions on daily business. He did, however, place an 8 p.m. curfew on the city; only citizens with a pass signed by him could legally venture outside their homes after that time.

>The next day, April 13, more of Klingenberg’s men who had remained on the opposite side of the river followed their leader into the city. Seeing the German flag, they believed that the main force had somehow bypassed them. They were amazed to find the ‘lost’ men in command of the primary objective, with the locals not hostile but actually accommodating. Hossfelder told the new arrivals what had transpired and warned them to play along. They flexed their military muscle by commandeering every vehicle they could find.

>>1472446

>Finally, on the night of April 13, the forward elements of Das Reich entered the city expecting a heavy fight. They had disregarded radio transmissions they had received telling of the city’s surrender, believing it was an enemy hoax, possibly an attempt to lure German units into an ambush. Rumor had it that Klingenberg and his men had been captured, tortured and forced to release the codes required for proper radio communications. The XLV Corps commander was so furious at not having received his intelligence summary that he had threatened to have Klingenberg court-martialed if he were found alive as a prisoner. The first place he inquired for Klingenberg was at a brothel, figuring that he would find the renegade captain there. The corps commander’s fury soon subsided when he learned why his junior company commander had been negligent in his duties.


>The rest of Das Reich and supplemental army Panzergrenadierunits entered Belgrade in force the following day, and instead of fighting their way into the city, they were greeted with wine and cheese. The Yugoslav prisoners were conscripted to reinforce the German defense in case of partisan attacks.

>Sadly, when the mayor realized that he had been duped, he shot himself.

>>1472450


On April 17, Josip Broz, better known as Tito, the trade unionist and leader of the ‘illegal’ Communist Party, acknowledged defeat in Yugoslavia and surrendered the country in name only. He fled into the mountains with his partisans, where, supported by the British, he waged a four-year guerrilla campaign against his country’s invaders. He would later become president of a Communist Yugoslavia, which nevertheless rejected association with the Soviet-dominated Warsaw Pact.Klingenberg persuaded the garrison commander to relinquish his maps and divulge the location of his minefields and gun emplacements, as well as the nearby anti-aircraft emplacements and adjacent auxiliary airstrip. Markers were placed that could be clearly seen from the air, and German transports were able to land, bringing food, ammunition and war correspondents. Klingenberg even had some of the prisoners repair the damaged runways and confiscated several obsolete aircraft.

German Intelligence had projected before Belgrade surrendered that Yugoslav army casualties would number approximately 10,000 to 15,000 wounded and 2,000 dead after massive Luftwaffe and artillery bombardment and a subsequent fight to enter the city. Civilian casualties were predicted to be 10 times those figures. Klingenberg was concerned for the welfare of his men, yet he was also worried about the fate of the civilians. He did not see the need for further bloodshed in the city, and his men were actually treated well by the civilians, who knew that they could have suffered a much worse fate.At first, the German high command did not believe that the city had been taken. There was even word that Klingenberg would be shot for trying to fake such an exploit. Two days of radio transmissions were needed to convince Berlin that all was well. Lieutenant General Paul Hausser was ordered to inspect for himself.

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>>1472453


>When Klingenberg reported to his superiors to explain why he had not followed orders, he was drunk, unshaven and smelled of perfume. After several minutes of heavy grilling, the frustrated Klingenberg said, ‘What was I to do, give the city back?’

>His indiscretions were overlooked, and the German battle plan, now obsolete, was stamped ‘completed.’

>The drive into Greece was now ahead of schedule. The cost of the entire Yugoslavian campaign to Germany was 558 wounded and 151 killed, with less than a dozen aircraft lost. More than 340,000 Yugoslavs were captured. The exact number killed will never be known.

>For his daring exploit, Klingenberg was awarded the Knight’s Cross, and he became a favorite of the SS inner circle. The ‘Old Man,’ as he came to be known, was periodically sent to Bad Tölz as an instructor on tactics and battlefield initiative. On March 15, 1944, he became the only Bad Tölz graduate to assume command of the school Klingenberg was not a hearty drinker or talker and never boasted of his accomplishments.

>When later asked by students at Bad Tölz how he had captured the capital of a country, he simply said, ‘I was not too preoccupied at the time, and found something to do.’

>>1471738
Those mothafuckers gon get haunted.

>>1472438
the only thing left sacred is the almighty dollar.

>>1472414

Any good links for it?

>>1469625
Hilariously, it is. You can even read his book for free on Google Books. It's probably on Archive.org but I never read it there.

Enrico Dandolo

>>1472392

Looks like I know who my history waifu is now

>>1471689
You mean
>Got into politics to get more famous
>Started shit he didn't expect to be responsible for
>Actually got shit done and destroyed the EU accidentally

I have having trouble finding a good video on schadenfreude, so please accept these historically-accurate English Anarcho-Syndicalists.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAaWvVFERVA

>>1472408
Holy shit, that grin. He looks like a fucking madman.

>>1472450
>Sadly, when the mayor realized that he had been duped, he shot himself.
That's both incredibly funny and a rather disheartening turn.

>>1472462
fucking legend he is. I'd watch this movie

>>1472728
Too bad its impossible to make a movie abut a plucky and heroic Nazi underdog

>>1471846
They are both political realists with very low opinions on things like social norms and listening to authority figures.

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Napoleonic wars aaw the establishment of many madmen. Among them, during Russia's retreat, after 3 weeks of walking at -40 degrees without sufficient supply, any man to have fought in the Berezina was clearly a mad man. The French faced 3 russian armies on 3 sides, each larger than the total remaining French fighting force. They had to cross this big ass river that was cold and saw icebergs going down the flow at killing speed. Nonetheless, a bridge had to be made. And the bridgers did it, with the General jumping first in the freezing cold water (!). After that the French waited till the very last moment to blow up the bridge (hollywood tier), not before kicking the Russian arses on the 3 (!) fronts. At once, with a starving army. Madmen.

>>1472780
Makes WW1 germany look like amatuers

>Alvin York, known also by his rank, Sergeant York, was one of the most decorated soldiers of the United States Army in World War I. He received the Medal of Honor for leading an attack on a German machine gun nest, taking 35 machine guns, killing at least 28 German soldiers, and capturing 132 others. This action occurred during the United States-led portion of the broader Meuse-Argonne Offensive in France to breach the Hindenburg line and make the opposing German forces surrender.
He was also a contentious objector

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>>1472839
forgot pic

>>1472839
That spelling mistake seems more accurate tbqh.

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>>1469579
>"I am the first in the East, the first in the West, and the greatest philosopher in the Western World"
it's true though.

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>Communists gaining momentum
>Guy giving speech
>Someone should stab that guy
>He did it, the absolute madman

The first and last Emperor of the United States

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emperor_Norton

>>1472438
There are tons of building in the US built directly on top of Indian burial mounds. My old school had one next to the playground. Surprised they would even bother fencing this off.

>>1472839
I remember this guy from old AFN commercials when I was a kid. They had all kinds of madman stories on AFN commercials, they were better than most of the shitty shows they had on.

>>1472438
This cemetery should've been entirely removed, the "sacred" bullshit is not an argument.

>>1472964
le engineering autism detected

Someone help me

I can't remember the name of that group of madmen that were going to be conquered by some tyrant that was requiring their surrender and they sent a letter back to the king full of as many curse words as they could think of

What was their name?

>>1472438
"Sacred" is a spook

>>1472982
Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks?

>>1472984
Ding ding thanks senpai

>>1472982
The cossacks

>>1472442
>The book contained 8,847 words and 33,864 letters, but no punctuation and its capitalization seemed random. At first, he handed his book out for free, but it became popular and was reprinted for sale eight times. In the second edition, Dexter added an extra page which consisted of 13 lines of punctuation marks with the instructions that readers could distribute them as they pleased.

>>1472422

>Klingonberg

>WWII
>American company occupying one half of a french town. The germans the other half
>Recieve completely green reinforcements
>Captain command the platoon to take a house down the street occupied by the germans
>A few minutes later the entire platoon is marching down the street in full view of the disbeliefed captain and the germans
>The lieutenant walks right up to the door, knocks and wait for someone to answer
>Some german sergeant opens the door and they talk for a bit
>The lieutenant and sergeant starts walking together with the german calling out to different houses down the street
>German soldiers pour out and start marching back to the american lines with their hands in the air
>Some 300 men taken prisoners without a single shot fired because of one very ballsy and inexperienced man

Can't confirm if this story is true in any way, but I always found it to be pretty damn impressive if it is.

These types of threads are my favourite on /his

Alexander cochrane and Leo major are worth mentioning

>>1472392
Someone help me figure this out
>Fisherman's boy impressed into piracy at 15 by Ching Shih and her husband (Cheng I)
>Became lovers with Cheng I
>Adopted by Cheng I
>Ching Shih also becomes Cheung's lover and marries him and has his child
Is that right?
Was there some pirate threesomes going on there?

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>>1469579
>>1469578
wow

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>>1474095
forgot picture

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Adam Smith
>Smith was described by several of his contemporaries and biographers as comically absent-minded, with peculiar habits of speech and gait, and a smile of "inexpressible benignity".[53] He was known to talk to himself,[47] a habit that began during his childhood when he would smile in rapt conversation with invisible companions.
>According to one story, Smith took Charles Townshend on a tour of a tanning factory, and while discussing free trade, Smith walked into a huge tanning pit from which he needed help to escape.[55] He is also said to have put bread and butter into a teapot, drunk the concoction, and declared it to be the worst cup of tea he ever had. According to another account, Smith distractedly went out walking in his nightgown and ended up 15 miles (24 km) outside of town, before nearby church bells brought him back to reality.[54][55]

>>1474133
No wonder he believed in invisible hands and shit

>>1469522
To be fair, the plan had existed before Hannibal took command.

>>1472929
BTFO
based nips

>>1474095
>ywn be the teenage boy toy of the Chinese pirate Queen
why live?

>>1469522
>Perhaps he'll bring with him, AN ARMY OF ELEPHANTS

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>>1472929
based japs

>>1472982
>Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks?
Zaporozhian Cossacks to the Turkish Sultan!

O sultan, Turkish devil and damned devil's kith and kin, secretary to Lucifer himself. What the devil kind of knight are you, that can't slay a hedgehog with your naked arse? The devil excretes, and your army eats. You will not, you son of a bitch, make subjects of Christian sons; we've no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, fuck your mother.

You Babylonian scullion, Macedonian wheelwright, brewer of Jerusalem, goat-fucker of Alexandria, swineherd of Greater and Lesser Egypt, pig of Armenia, Podolian thief, catamite of Tartary, hangman of Kamyanets, and fool of all the world and underworld, an idiot before God, grandson of the Serpent, and the crick in our dick. Pig's snout, mare's arse, slaughterhouse cur, unchristened brow, screw your own mother!

So the Zaporozhians declare, you lowlife. You won't even be herding pigs for the Christians. Now we'll conclude, for we don't know the date and don't own a calendar; the moon's in the sky, the year with the Lord, the day's the same over here as it is over there; for this kiss our arse!

- koshovyi otaman Ivan Sirko, with the whole Zaporozhian Host.

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>>1474730
TURKROACH ABSOLUTELY BTFO

>>1474755
>goat-fucker of Alexandria

Still pretty accurate.

>>1472780
>but muh wellington

>>1474133
>e is also said to have put bread and butter into a teapot, drunk the concoction, and declared it to be the worst cup of tea he ever had

> He is also said to have put bread and butter into a teapot, drunk the concoction, and declared it to be the worst cup of tea he ever had


lol what.

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>>1472999

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>>1468457
> he actually got kills with the bow and arrow

>>1474854
literally who?

>>1474133

The father of american economics everyone.

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>>1472999

>>1469579
>Fakes death
>Wife doesn't cry at fake wake
>Beats her
Why are rich Massachusetts people so fucking weird?

>>1472728
Serbia is the only country in which the Jewish question and the Gypsy question has been solved.

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>>1474066
>Leo major
Yup, definitaly worth mentioning!

>>1474730
>What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch?

>>1476571
*definitely

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>>1476571
>tfw no VC

>>1476571
Who was that one madman who accidentally fell into one of those underground bunker complexes in WWI and proceeded to go through the entire thing room by room capturing everybody he could find and eventually had taken the entire complex?

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This guy

>>1471689
He seems like a coward to me. Why isn't he one?

>>1469732
Last time I checked Trump did not acomplished anything "badass"

>>1476695
He's more like Erdogan with a spray tan instead of a actual tan.

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>>1472929

>>1472818
WW1 eastern front outside of Galicia 14-16 may have been the most one-sided fight between Powers in history. I think you're thinking WW2

>>1476695

Well he uhhh sure showed them liberals! You're just low energy! Sad!

>>1469578
>>1469579
Please told me somebody has made a movie about this

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Too much soldiers and men of arms in that thread.

Let's fix that.

Do you guys know about Timothy Leary ?

>Timothy Francis Leary(October 22, 1920 – May 31, 1996) was an American psychologist and writer known for advocating the exploration of the therapeutic potential of psychedelic drugs under controlled conditions.

>Leary believed that LSD showed potential for therapeutic use inpsychiatry. He used LSD himself and developed a philosophy of mind expansion and personal truth through LSD. He popularizedcatchphrasesthat promoted his philosophy, such as "turn on, tune in, drop out", "set and setting", and "think for yourself and question authority". He also wrote and spoke frequently abouttranshumanistconcepts involving space migration, intelligence increase, andlife extension(SMI2LE), and developed theeight-circuit model of consciousnessin his bookExo-Psychology(1977). He gave lectures, occasionally billing himself as a "performing philosopher".

>During the 1960s and 1970s, he was arrested often enough to see the inside of 36 different prisons worldwide. PresidentRichard Nixononce described Leary as "the most dangerous man in America".

>On January 21, 1970, Leary received a 10-year sentence for his 1968 offense, with a further 10 added later while in custody for a prior arrest in 1965, for a total of 20 years to be served consecutively. On his arrival in prison, he was given psychological tests used to assign inmates to appropriate work details. Having designed some of these tests himself (including the "Leary Interpersonal Behavior Test"), Leary answered them in such a way that he seemed to be a very conforming, conventional person with a great interest in forestry and gardening.As a result, he was assigned to work as a gardener in a lower-security prison from which he escaped in September 1970, saying that his non-violent escape was a humorous prank and leaving a challenging note for the authorities to find after he was gone.

>>1477187
Based Leary

In WW2 a group of 40 Belgium soldiers fought the Blitz for around 18 days.

When the Nazis captured them they asked where the rest of the Belgium soldiers were. The Belgiums laughed.

>>1472408
>brandenburger

The OG shady special operations motherfuckers. So many of them just disappeared after the war.

>>1471689
>goes into politics for one purpose
>resigns immediately after an opinion poll shows that a slight majority of people agree with something he agrees with, but don't necessarily agree with HIM.
Good on you Nige.

>>1472392
>in terms of manpower, command hte largest navy the world has ever seen
No, just no.

>>1477766
Leyte Gulf where you at?

>>1477760
No you dumb nigger, he resigned because he literally achieved his goal, UKIP is now defunct

>>1472942
He still managed to be respected.

A real mad man, that shall be remembered.

>>1476689
Non-Brit confirmed.

Resigning didn't make a lick of difference, he isn't in government, until 2020 there's nothing to be done by people outside of the Conservative Party and by then we'll have left the EU which is what he wanted to happen, why stay? What can he actually do at this point?

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>>1469055
>his parrot had to be removed from his funeral because it swore too much

>>1477731
What is this event you speak of?

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>>1469055
I was wondering why crazy stuff like this and napoleon etc doesn't happen anymore, then I realized the modern day equivalent is boko haram

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>>1476695

>>1477735
most were killed to a T. They all ended up fighting the rest of the war in the east as just heer soldiers. Survival rate wasn't great.

>>1479102
>Peace for our time
>Largest war in history breaks out less than a year later

just a prank bro

>>1479093

The only witness was his limo driver.

>>1472580
>destroyed the EU accidentally
>doubt

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>so i told the hussars to charge the dutch navy across the zuidersee

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>>1469578
>>1469579
he's also a meme

>>1479355

That's not Timothy Dexter.

>>1474755
I thought Robbin Williams was dead.

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>>1478556
I think this song is about them

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGtEH1i78sI

Also i think it was the same guys who fought at the Vinkt Massacre

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vinkt_massacre

David Tibbs instigating a truce.

>During three days of bitter fighting between the British 13 Para and German panzergrenadiers supported by a tank, the battalion doctor David Tibbs was treating wounded men when his sergeant, Scott, reported that there were some badly wounded men in a house on the front line, and he was going to get them out.

>Tibbs, preoccupied with his work, acquiesced: “the Germans had a pretty good record of respecting the red cross in our sector.”

>Accompanied by the battalion padre, Sergeant Scott slowly drove an ambulance with a large red-cross flag up the main street. Firing on both sides stopped. Stretcher-bearers had begun to bring out the wounded when they heard the roar of a tank engine. A Panther clattered up the street towards them. It stopped by the ambulance, and the hatch opened.

>A German officer appeared, and admonished them in perfect English: “This time I let you do it—next time, I shoot!” He closed the hatch. The tank lurched back to the German line. The ambulance finished its work and drove to the rear.

More Leo Major and Klingenberg type stories! Preferably from Napoleon's wars!

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Why hasn't this madman been posted yet

>why was he so based

>>1482286
>claim the Nazis started the strategic bombing slugfest and the purposeful bombing of civilians
>it was really you all along
PERFIDIOUS ALBIONNNNN

>>1482288
>imblyign

>>1476571
>Gets massively wounded with multiple fractured ribs
>Request to rejoin his unit is denied, told if he leaves it will be desertion, he's on the first busy for Canada
>Deserts the field hospital, walks dozens of kilometres, rejoins his unit
>His technical desertion is quietly dropped

>>1472502
>petrodollar
>sacred

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>Manchu princess and Axis fanatic
>infiltrated the Chinese army for years dressed as a man, spying for the Japanese
>caught and charged with treason
>her defense is that treason doesn't apply because she denies China's authority over Manchuria
>executed
Basically, evil Mulan.

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“To kill a peasant is not murder; it is helping to extinguish the conflagration. Let there be no half measures! Crush them! Cut their throats! Transfix them. Leave no stone unturned! To kill a peasant is to destroy a mad dog!” – “If they say that I am very hard and merciless, mercy be damned. Let whoever can stab, strangle, and kill them like mad dogs"

kek

>>1482293
I'm not even implying it, I'm explicitly stating it.

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>>1468457

Why do Westerners think of this guy as such an unique case? Here in MENA people carry swords to war all the time(and sometimes, you know, use them).

>>1485064
Because white people are good enough shots where using a sword is an extremely dangerous possibility unlike using a sword against untrained dirt farmers who couldn't hit the fucking sea standing on the beach.

>>1485072

You don't try to use the swords to hack down men firing at you, stupid. You mostly just carry them around because they look cool; the times you actually use them are when you are beheading POWs.

>>1485088
Mad Jack used his sword to hack down men that were firing at him. Also had a confirmed kill with a longbow iirc.

>>1485092

That was back in WWII, when weapons did not have as high fire rates as they do today, and bayonets were still widely used.

>>1485100
Please don't post on this board anymore

>>1485100
Are you stupid? The MP40 fires just under the fire rate of the AK-47. MG42 is still one of the fastest firing GP-MGs of all time. It was so successful that the Germans STILL use a fucking variant of it TO THIS DAY. If you aren't trolling just fucking neck yourself.

>>1477820

The least he could have done was stuck around to see the exit plan through, but I expect he caught on that tying himself to the sinking ship of pro-brexit would be bad long-term when everyone noticed what a fucking mess leaving the EU was actually going to be.

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>>1472502
Ayo holla up!

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>>1471738
Did no one see Poltergeist?

>>1485227
It's a strip mall.

What are they gonna do, pick a fight with grand master whitebread off at the McDojo?

>>1471738
>that mailbox in the second frame
Just in case you forgot who did this to you...

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>>1485230
Dude, remember what they did with one TV.

...imagine a whole aisle of them...

>>1485072
this

>>1468457
King of the West, Zhāng Xiànzhōng

>Zhāng Xiànzhōng killed a young man because he loved him too much, and eventually began to believe that he should kill all those he loved to spare them the miseries of life.

>Zhāng Xiànzhōng announced that he was holding an official examination to recruit officials; several thousand locally well-known gentry-scholars went to Chéngdū in answer, and once they were gathered Zhāng Xiànzhōng had them all killed.

>In 1646, Zhāng Xiànzhōng took title as Emperor. He announced his ambitions to conquer not only China but also Mongolia, Manchuria, Korea, Japan, the Philippines, and Indochina, and in a conversation with the two Jesuits he revealed his plan to conquer India and then Europe.

>In these final years of his reign, Zhāng Xiànzhōng explained that he was carrying out a divine mission. He was a star sent down from above to slaughter all the wicked beings below. He was killing on behalf of Heaven.

>During his extermination of the Buddhists and destruction of local Temples he explained it was revenge for the Buddhist’s anti-Christian movement of 1643, and remarked to the Jesuits: “That is why the Ruler of Heaven [the Christian God] has ordered me to kill those barbarians, in order to protect you good men from harm.”

>He claimed to see visions in the sky, to be able to see the future, to own a marvelous telescope that could see everything happening on earth, in heaven, and in hell. He claimed a bolt of lightning had struck the ground before him, leaving behind a Book of Heaven with his name on it, announcing that he was the most perfect sage of all times, and that he should first exterminate the entire population of Sìchuān before moving north to conquer Shǎnxī.

>Heaven creates all things to nurture Man
>Man lacks one thing to repay Heaven
>KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL

http://jiuyangda.tumblr.com/post/148169241725/reign-of-terror

>>1469732
Trump is a big baby with nothing but flashy exhibitions of unremarkably acquired wealth.

>>1472462
This guy is a fucking god amongst men

>>1472462
Where can I read more about this absolute madman?

>>1485092

Churchill never used his sword to kill anyone. He did round up Germans to surrender with it, though. He had the one at sword point telling the others to surrender, but he also had another commando with him.

>>1477027
If only. I have a few ideas for a screenplay. I've written several screenplays for classes, but this seems to have great comedic value.

>>1469578
His book is so dope
http://www.lordtimothydexter.com/the_holl_pickle.htm

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While I'm not a fan. This guy counts.

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>>1477187

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>>1477187

>>1477187
Leary was a fucking asshole. He's a huge part of the reason why our drug laws are so shit now. Before Leary came along it was legal to grow and consume magic mushrooms in the US. He and his faggot pals decided to spew a bunch of shit about them and got mushrooms, LSD, and everything else interesting banned.

>>1485107
>>1485109

Bayonets were widely used in all theatres of WWII you fucking retards. Weren't most Germans armed with 98K anyway?

>>1485381
>In 1646, Zhāng Xiànzhōng took title as Emperor. He announced his ambitions to conquer not only China but also Mongolia, Manchuria, Korea, Japan, the Philippines, and Indochina, and in a conversation with the two Jesuits he revealed his plan to conquer India and then Europe.

So close...

>>1483893
What are you even implying? That the Allies actually started bombing civilians first, or that the Axis bombings were actually done by allies? Because then you're wrong on both accounts.

>>1471634
Yeah I thought claymores were the huge ones and beg in gaelic means small, right?

>>1487154
Actually, I'm not. Britain started purposely bombing non-military German cities 4 hours after entering the war. Germany didn't start purposely bombing non-military targets until a few weeks into the war.

>inb4 Wielun
It has been stated multiple times by multiple academics (including Polish academics), that the bombing of Wielun was not a purposeful bombing of non-military targets.

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When you think about the Dutch, you (perhaps unfairly?) picture a bunch of totally chill, easy-going, business-savvy dudes who have a well-documented appreciation for the finer things in life little luxuries like windmills, three-masted wooden ships, gratuitious red light districts, and spending weekday afternoons in a coffee shop smoking enough weed to make Snoops eyes bug out of his head like a cartoon character and roll around on the ground. You dont picture seven-foot-tall, William Wallace motherfuckers who hack people in half with broadswords and eviscerate the corpses of their fallen enemies with meat cleavers like a psychotic butcher on a PCP rampage hacking his way through the lunch meat aisle at the grocery store.

Meet Pier Gerlofs Donia.

Even though this giant sword-swinging warrior hailed from the land we now know as Holland, the Netherlands, and the Place Where Dutch People Live, Pier Gerlofs Donia wasnt really Dutch. He was Frisian, which, for the sake of brevity, is kind of like what you get when you cross a Dutchman with a German, give him a two-handed zweihander greatsword and send him off to split his enemies from head to groin with one swing of his mighty blade like the Conan the Librarian skit from Weird Als cinematic masterpiece UHF.


more on http://www.badassoftheweek.com/bigpier.html
and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pier_Gerlofs_Donia

fucking Balmaceda
>we need to build more trains
>we need to unify the liberal party
>fuck the english
>fuck saltpeter
>the congress (filled with english cocksuckers) fuck arounds with the ministry (forcing more than 15 different cabinets to resign)
>Balmaceda keeps pushing the anti-english agenda
>the congress cancels the 1891 budget
>'fuck it'
>Balmaceda grabs money for more trains anyway
>the congress calls this illegal according to the constitution of Chile
>'fuck it'
>faggy anglo-influenced naval forces against glorious prussian army
>Chilean Civil War of 1981
It may not be madman on a violent sense, but i'm fascinated about how a caustic and idealistic lawyer can cause such outrage and chaos just because 'we need to expand our industries and build more trains'.

>>1479355
>getting tricked by google
lmao

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>>1469522

>>1490391
i think of ruyter & 1666, and weed, and banking

>>1490391
oh and PAX DUTCH VOC BASED

>see banda islands genocide

>>1485072
I'd argue that sword fighting is basically a lost art in the west at this point so carrying one would be useless.
for someone who can use one its a great sidearm
I've always wondered why they don;t issue solders a shortsword like a gladius

>>1490738
Because a better side arm exists: the pistol. The only real use swords have in modern militaries are either as tools or ceremonial purposes. Many, if not most, militaries still issue ceremonial swords. Any use the sword has as a tool can more easily be replaced by an entrenching tool or something similar.

Robert Surcouf, absolute madman of the seas, close friend to Napoléon, and master banterer.

>Robert Surcouf (12 December 1773 – 8 July 1827) was a French privateer and slave trader who operated in the Indian Ocean between 1789 and 1801, and again from 1807 to 1808, capturing over 40 prizes, while amassing a large fortune as a ship-owner, both from privateering and from commerce for a time.[1]

>When a British captive officer challenged Surcouf with the words "You French fight for money while we fight for honour", Surcouf replied "Each of us fights for what he lacks most".[61][62]

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>A cavalry officer who regularly wore both a sword and a monocle, Saucken personified the archetypal aristocratic Prussian conservative who despised the brown mob of Nazis. When he was ordered to take command of the Second Army on 12 March 1945, he came to Hitler's headquarters with his left hand resting casually on his cavalry sabre, his monocle in his eye, saluted and gave a slight bow. This was three 'outrages' at once. He had not given the Nazi salute with raised arm and the words 'Heil Hitler', as had been regulation since 20 July 1944, he had not surrendered his weapon on entering....and had kept his monocle in his eye when saluting Hitler.

>When Hitler told him that he must take his orders from Albert Forster, the Gauleiter of Danzig, Saucken returned Hitler's gaze....and striking the marble slab of the map table with the flat of his hand, he said, 'I have no intention, Herr Hitler, of placing myself under the orders of a Gauleiter'. In doing this he had bluntly contradicted Hitler and not addressed him as Mein Führer.

>To the surprise of everyone who was present, Hitler capitulated and replied, "All right, Saucken, keep the command yourself." Hitler dismissed the General without shaking his hand and Saucken left the room with only the merest hint of a bow.

>>1469525
Nice meme'd but shortly before Alexanders UNEXPECTED and EARLY death, his would be successor died.
This two coincidences fucked up his empire.

>Saburo Sakai
During the air group's first mission of the battle of Guadalcanal, having just shot down Southerland and Adams, Sakai was seriously wounded in a fight near Tulagi against eight SBD Dauntlesses, a mixed flight from Bombing Squadrons Five and Six (VB-5 and VB-6).[17] Mistaking the SBDs for more Grumman F4F Wildcat fighters, Sakai approached from below and behind, targeting a VB-6 Dauntless. The dive bombers with their rear-mounted twin 7.62 mm (0.3 in) destroyed the canopy of Sakai's Zero.[18] Saburō Sakai's account of this battle is different.[2] He spotted eight aircraft in two flights of four and initially identified them as F4F Wildcat fighters. After he attacked with three other Mitsubishi A6M2 Zero fighters, he discovered that the aircraft were Grumman TBF Avengers because he clearly distinguished the top turret. He shot down two of the TBF Avengers (his 61st and 62nd victories) which were verified by the other three Zero pilots but during this day, no Avengers were reported lost.[2]

>>1491940
Sakai sustained grievous injuries from the return fire. He was struck in the head by a 7.62 mm (0.3 in) bullet, blinding him in the right eye and paralyzing the left side of his body. The Zero rolled inverted and was descending toward the sea. Unable to see out of his uninjured eye due to blood from the head wound, Sakai's vision started to clear somewhat as tears cleared the blood from his eyes, and he was able to pull his plane out of the dive. He considered ramming an American warship: "If I must die, at least I could go out as a Samurai. My death would take several of the enemy with me. A ship. I needed a ship." Finally, the cold air blasting into the cockpit revived him enough to check his instruments, and he decided that leaning the fuel mixture he might be able to return to the airfield at Rabaul.

>>1491941
Although in agony from his injuries[19] from a bullet that had passed through his skull and the right side of his brain, leaving the entire left side of his body paralyzed, and was left blind in one eye.[20])[dead link] (The wound is described elsewhere as having destroyed the metal frame of his goggles, and "creased" his skull, meaning a glancing blow that breaks the skin and makes a furrow in, or even cracks the skull, but does not actually penetrate it.) Sakai managed to fly his damaged Zero in a four-hour, 47-minute flight over 560 nmi (1,040 km; 640 mi) back to his base on Rabaul, using familiar volcanic peaks as guides. When he attempted to land at the airfield he nearly crashed into a line of parked Zeros but, after circling four times, and with the fuel gauge reading empty, he put his Zero down on the runway on his second attempt. After landing, he insisted on making his mission report to his superior officer before collapsing. His squadron mate Hiroyoshi Nishizawa drove him to a surgeon. Sakai was evacuated to Japan on 12 August, where he endured a long surgery without anesthesia. The surgery repaired some of the damage to his head, but was unable to restore full vision to his right eye. Nishizawa visited Sakai while he recuperated in the Yokosuka hospital in Japan.

>>1490619
Kek indeed

John Law

>Scottish economist and talented mathematician from Edinburgh
>proposed establishment of central Scottish bank but was knocked back
>moved to London
>won games of cards by mentally calculating odds
>killed an English socialite in a sword duel and was sentenced to death
>got the punishment commuted to a fine only to be re-imprisoned on appeal
>escaped to Amsterdam and became a millionaire through gambling and speculation
>charmed and gambled his way into French high society
>became mates with the Duke of Orleans, incumbent regent of France
>founded the Banque Generale (later Banque Royale) and had it take on French national debt in return for exhaustive economic privileges
>engineered a state monopoly on trade by absorbing all French mercantile companies into the Banque Royale
>issued shares in The Mississippi Company resulting in resounding initial success
>persuaded the Duke of Orleans to appoint him Controller General of Finances
>offered to pay off French national debt via the proceeds of another share issue
>created a gigantic asset bubble that soon collapsed throwing the French economy into disarray
>riots across Paris as people rushed to convert paper money to coin
>flees the city under cover of night as the French economy bombs
MAD
A
D

>>1468457
>Fidel Castro raids a garrison with his college buddies.
>Everyone dies or gets arrested.
>He gets on a shitty boat with his brother, a doctor he just met, and a bunch of guys.
>Almost all of them die again.
>He actually wins.
>Proceeds to piss off the most powerful nation in the world for half a century.
>Survives 500 assassination attempts.

Absolute Madman of the 20th Century

>>1487053
Bongs use bayonets in action even today, and even so I can't imagine a non shit nation that doesn't have some kind of bayonet training

>>1492527
And he's still alive today

>>1492527
Fidel is underrated due to massive american/floridan butthurt.

>>1478581
not really. the reason you don't have badasses anymore is because the sort of daring these people could muster completely pales in comparison to the might of nuclear arms.

If a neo-napoleon tried to conquer europe today, france becomes ash. If france tries to go nuk-nuk first, all of europe becomes ash.

So our method of fighting war has been abstracted to playing chess with foreign terror groups and financial markets.

>>1483852
Luther was over the top in his writing, and is famous for his shit talking against his opponents.

>http://ergofabulous.org/luther/

>>1469732
sorry how many wars has Donald Trump won and how many people has he killed?

>>1472753
>political realists
lmfao

>>1490738
Combat knives fulfill the purpose of a shortsword well enough. Plus they make good tools.

A lot of stuff is written like a 13 year old sperlord, but there are some really cool stories and people in here.

http://www.badassoftheweek.com/

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>>1490391
>two-handed zweihander greatsword

...The redundancy............

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>>1472929
A true hero

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What makes an absolute madman/woman? Is it luck? An Iron will? Or are they highly intelligent psychopaths who don't comprehend the concept of giving a fuck? What is it that makes them literal fucking gods walking amongst men?

>>1495388
will to power

>>1495388
A hero... is just a man... who knows he is free...

>>1472526

>gets captured by Sicilian pirates
>pirates demand 20 talents of silver (620kg of silver)
>Ceasar laughs; says that the pirates don't know who they had captured; demands the pirates ask for 50 (1550kg of silver) talents of silver; pirates agree
>Ceasar sends some of his associates to gather silver (takes 38 days to accomplish)
>alone with the pirates along with two servants and one of his friends
>begins to treat the pirates as if they were his subordiantes
>demands the pirates to stop taalking whenever he decided to take a nap or sleep at night
>he spends his 38 days composing and reciting poetry, and recites the works to the pirates; voluntarily plays various games and takes part in exercises with the pirates
>tells them jokingly that he would hang them all; pirates laugh it off
>once the ransom arrives, he immediately mans some ships and sets sail for the harbor where the pirates are based; capures all of them along with the silver
>delivers the pirates to the authorities at a prison and meets with the province's procounsul to petition to have the pirates executed
>procounsul decides to sell the pirates as slaves to cash in
>ignores the procounsul, goes to the prison, crucifies all of the pirates

>>1485924
good thing you can just order acid in the mail since it's basically impossible to detect in blotter form

>>1492527
>>1494314
>>1494343
The worst part about it is that we didn't even do anything about it until it was too late. We pretty much had the "watch and wait" stance until Fidel started nationalizing things and blaming the U.S. for it. Fidel used the U.S. as a boogeyman against the revolution to seize more power and in an unsurprising turn we immediately filled the role to protect our interests that Fidel was fucking with. Most amazing self-fulfilling prophecy of all time.

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>>1485072
>>1485100
Until you have any combat experience that is comparable to Mad Jack or Abu Azrael, you probably shouldn't be too critical of their methods.

>>1495088
>88
God wills it.

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>>1499683
>99

Deus Vault

>>1468457
Duarte Pacheco Pereira

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Olga of Kiev

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olga_of_Kiev

>husband killed by rival tribe
>rule the city, continue expanding the hegemony Kievan Rus'
>asked to marry prince of her husband's killers
>lock his envoys in a burning building instead
>send word that your agreed to the marriage, tho
>invite enemy tribe to a feast, go full Red Wedding on 5k+ of them
>remaining villagers/tribesmen beg mercy offer ransom
>be merciful, rather than furs or gold, ask only pigeons and doves from each house
>just kidding, attach smoldering cloth, now homing incidiearies to all houses roofs
>burn their city to the ground
>continue ruling Kievan Rus' until your son Svyatoslav coms of age, expand territory, build forts, covert to Christianity, continue ruling during his military campaigns.

>>1471738
>completely ruin a historical area

>>1499912
didn't ghengis khan use the same trick with pigeons?

>>1499912
She actually buried the envoys alive, and asked for husbandkillers' most distinguished men, whom she locked in the burning building you mentioned

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>>1472999
http://www.lordtimothydexter.com/the_holl_pickle_1.htm

>somebody actually transcribed this

>>1499407

THE ABSOLUTE MADMAN

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>ctrl f Majorian
>Nothing
How

>>1500989
>literally on the verge of retaking pretty much the entire West
>gets murdered unjustly after fire ships fuck him hard

Depressing desu.

>>1485167
>stuck around to see the exit plan through

See it through how?
Neither he nor his party have any authority in the government.

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>>1468457
>Napoleon left Moscow on October 19th with roughly 100, 000 men. On November 3 it began to snow, and Napoleon gave Ney command of the 6000 man rearguard.

>Throughout the retreat, Ney’s energy and courage were equaled by his tactical ingenuity. Musket in hand, he led countless charges. On one night march, a wagon went through the ice and a survivor could be seen clinging to the wreckage. Ney himself crawled along the ice to pull him out of the icy water. Recognizing the rescued officer, Ney said matter of factly “Ah…de Briqueville, glad we got you out!”

>The retreat went on and on, and eventually, Ney had only 100 men left. With these, Ney and General Gerard held the bridge at Kovno while it was being destroyed. Imperial Guardsman Jean Coignet described what happened. “Marshal Ney kept the enemy at bay by his own bravery. I saw him take a musket and five men and hold the bridge at Kovno. The country should be glad it has such a man.

>At Waterloo Ney again commanded the left wing of the army. Ney was seen [11] during one of the charges beating his sword against the side of a British cannon in furious frustration. During the battle he had five horses killed under him;[12] and at the end of the day, Ney led one of the last infantry charges, shouting to his men: "Come see how a marshal of France dies!".[13] It was as though Ney was seeking death, but death did not want him, as many observers reported.[14][15]

>>1501101
>When Napoleon was defeated, dethroned, and exiled for the second time in the summer of 1815, Ney was arrested (on 3 August 1815). After a court-martial declared itself incompetent (November), he was tried (4 December 1815) for treason by the Chamber of Peers. In order to save Ney's life, his lawyer Dupin declared that Ney was now Prussian and could not be judged by a French court for treason as Ney's hometown of Sarrelouis had been annexed by Prussia according to the Treaty of Paris of 1815. Ney ruined his lawyer's effort by interrupting him and stating: "I am French and I will remain French".[16] On 6 December 1815, he was condemned, and executed by firing squad in Paris near the Luxembourg Garden on 10 December 1815, an event that deeply divided the French public. He refused to wear a blindfold and was allowed the right to give the order to fire, reportedly saying:

>"Soldiers, when I give the command to fire, fire straight at my heart. Wait for the order. It will be my last to you. I protest against my condemnation. I have fought a hundred battles for France, and not one against her ... Soldiers, fire!"[17]

this fucking guy

>>1479093
>C'mon stop it guy.
I thought it was going to end with Trump tackling and beating the mugger.

>>1483728
Name? I'd be interested in learning more.

>>1473034
klingenberg means blademountain
doesn't get more badass than this

>>1501450
Testosterone for blood

>>1500274
Probably, I know the Varangian Guard used it at one point during one of Byzantium's campaigns to retake Sicily from the muslims.

>>1469578
>>1469579
Sometimes, I wonder if he was a total genius, and people calling him stupid were just buttmad, that he made out so well in everything he did.

>>1491290
This sounds hilarious

>>1492623

So why does it surprise you that some guy used a sword in a war that saw a lot of bayonet action?

>>1468457
The unnamed viking that protected stamford bridge in 1066... he on his own slaughtered dozens saxons just to give his fellow soldiers time to get out of there... he only died when he got stabbed in the balls from under the bridge by some treacherous saxon that didn't even dared to face him... it was probably the biggest target on him though... and no i'm not a vikingboo... just this absolute crazy madman...

>>1472999
>>1485759

Reads like James Joyce desu

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>>1499280

>>1495388
But no seriously, it's basically just keeping a level head. Either you ignore the danger around you (stories of people doing what would usually be normal but in extreme situations), have no sense of the danger in the first place (people doing something pretty fucking dangerous and coming out on top), or have very fast reactions under pressure (people doing something smart in unusual situations).

Don't lose your head.

>>1501450
http://militaryhistorynow.com/2012/11/29/did-napoleons-most-feared-marshal-end-his-days-as-an-american-high-school-teacher/

>“I AM NEY OF FRANCE!” Those were reportedly the last words of an obscure 77-year-old North Carolina schoolmaster

>Official history reports that Ney was buried in Paris at Père Lachaise Cemetery. But following his death, stories spread like wildfire about a plot hatched by those allied to the exiled emperor to save Ney. According to the rumours, the firing squad actually shot blanks and the marshal (aware of the scheme) fooled onlookers by bursting blood packs concealed in his shirt.

>The following year, history records the sudden appearance of one Peter Stuart Ney in Charleston, South Carolina. The redheaded immigrant matched the marshal’s physical description. For the next few years, the middle-aged Ney moved about the southern U.S., never staying in the same town for too long, perhaps moving on when suspicions of his true identity heated up.

>According to his former students, Ney would parade and inspect them each morning, much like a field marshal might. He constantly pushed them to better themselves and had a tendency to challenge spirited and disruptive pupils to playful duels with wooden sticks. He even wrote a math textbook and once carved a replica of the globe into a pumpkin in an effort to teach his students world geography. They pointed to the fact that Marshal Ney’s father had been named Peter and his mother’s maiden name was Stuart — a strange coincidence? And upon learning of the death of the former emperor in 1821, Ney reportedly drove a knife into his own neck in a fit of grief almost killing himself. In his final hours, Ney reportedly told those at his bedside that he was in fact the famous marshal. His gravestone, which still stands today in Cleveland, North Carolina, reads “A native of France and soldier of the French Revolution under Napoleon Bonaparte.”

>>1474730
>we've no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, fuck your mother.

The ending is so sudden, lost

>>1468491
Why are there so many pictures of him laughing?

>>1503049
He's a happy guy

>>1502977
Woah

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>>1502977
Damn

>>1502977

Hey, I'm from NC. This was actually a pretty big thing around here even though I don't remember what county it was (wasn't mine).

>>1492527
And makes possible the killing of Che Guevara.

>>1474730
its a later forgery though

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>burns Southerners' shit on their own territory
>Lost Causers still buttmad about it today

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>>1468457
>If we take in our hand any volume; of divinity or school metaphysics, for instance; let us ask, Does it contain any abstract reasoning concerning quantity or number? No. Does it contain any experimental reasoning concerning matter of fact and existence? No. Commit it then to the flames: for it can contain nothing but sophistry and illusion.

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>Li Guang was a man of great build, with long arms and good archery skills, able to shoot an arrow deeply into a stone (which resembles the shape of a crouching tiger) on one occasion. At the same time, like his contemporaries Wei Qing and Huo Qubing, he was a caring and well-respected general who earned the respect of his soldiers. He also earned the favour of Emperor Wen, who said of him: "If he had been born in the time of Emperor Gaozu, he would have been given a fief of ten thousand households without any difficulty"
>However, Li Guang's late military career was constantly haunted by repeated incidents of what would be regarded as "bad luck" by later scholars.
>He had a nasty tendency of losing direction during mobilisations, and in field battles he was often outnumbered and surrounded by superior enemies.
>Li Guang's troops relative lack of discipline and his lack of strategic planning often put him and his regiments in awkward situations. Li Guang himself narrowly escaped capture after his army was annihilated during an offensive campaign at Yanmen in 129 BC
>Emperor Wu even secretly ordered Wei Qing not to assign Li Guang to important missions (such as the vanguard position), on the grounds of Li Guang's famed "terrible fortune".
>Li Guang committed suicide shortly after the Battle of Mobei in 119 BC. He was blamed for failing to arrive at the battlefield in time (after getting lost in the desert), creating a gap in the encirclement and allowing Ichise Chanyu to escape after a confrontation between Wei Qing and the Chanyu's main force, which the Han army narrowly managed to defeat. Refusing to accept the humiliation of a court martial, Li Guang took his own life.
not really a mad man, more like an absolute sad man

>>1503509
Was it autism?

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>>1474172

>>1503580
One (possibly apocryphal) story about Napoleon was that the first thing he asked about a man when appointing a general was "Is he lucky?"

Li Guang might have been popular and a great archer, but as a general he wouldn't have lasted long under Boney.

>>1485239
I work for the USPS they put their boxes anywhere.

>>1491290
Shame the Russians fucked him for life after.

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>>1503488
Have a wallpaper

>>1501490
yoshiko kawashima

>>1502977

WTF

>>1499630
He wasn't really clever fighter Jack or Very Safe Jack, or even Excellent Teacher Jack, he was Mad Jack. That should tell you what the people who knew him thought of his methods first hand.

>>1477815
>Actually believing any number or statistics Chinese historians pull out of their collective asses.

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> the eternal gringo

>>1504361
Sonora, Baja and Nicaragua are rightful American clay desu.

>>1502977
Wait what
No way

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>>1490490

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>>1494373
>http://ergofabulous.org/luther/

that site is bad ass, anon.

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>>1502741
>... he only died when he got stabbed in the balls from under the bridge by some treacherous saxon that didn't even dared to face him... it was probably the biggest target on him though

perfect.
and so the official theme song for this thread is found:

Tiger Woods by Dan Bern

https://youtu.be/Tctfq4tplQ4

>I got big balls, big old balls
>Big as grapefruits, big as pumpkins
>Yes sir, yes sir, and on my really good days
>They swell to the size of small dogs
>My balls are as big as small dogs

>Well, it ain't braggin' if it's true

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>>1469578
>>1469579
>>1472442
>>1472999
>>1485759

>When the Belgian War of Independence began, Van Speijk was given command of a Dutch gunboat. Van Speijk despised the Belgian independence movement, and he said he would rather die "than become an infamous Brabander". On February 5, 1831, a gale blew his gunboat into the quay at the port of Antwerp. The Belgians quickly stormed his ship, demanding Van Speijk haul down the Dutch flag. Rather than surrender his ship, he fired a pistol (some versions say he threw a lighted cigar) into a barrel of gunpowder in the ship's magazine. According to legend, he shouted "Dan liever de lucht in" ( "(I'd) rather be blown up"). The number of Belgians killed is unknown, though it probably numbered in the dozens. Twenty-eight of his 31 crewmen also perished in the blast.

The very first suicide bomber was a dutchman

>>1476689

>h-hes a coward

remainer pls. Nigel is one of the greatest men of this century

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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adrian_Carton_de_Wiart

>>1503049
He's quite cray-cray. And is probably the poster boy of stereotypically smug British men.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlN9o3g-yuA

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>In his opus magnum Joël writes: 'The Ego' is the "most rampant heretic book a human hand has ever written", and Stirner laid with it the foundation for a veritable "devil's religion."

>The "destruction of alienation", that Stirner aims for, he says, amounts to "the return to authenticity", and this would be "nothing else than the destruction of culture, the return to animality [...] the return to the pre-human status."

>Even Nietzsche appears, according to Kolakowski, "weak and inconsistent compared to him [Stirner]."

>Calasso too regards Stirner's "Egoist" or rather "Owner" as an "artificial barbarian", an "anthropological monster" etc.. 'The Egoist' is the "writing on the wall", signalling the doom of occidental culture.

>No, the intrinsic reason, which was passed down probably by accident, was that [Husserl] wanted to protect his students (and perhaps himself?) against their "temptational power".

>Theodor Adorno once admitted to his inner circle that it was Stirner alone who had "let the cat out of the bag". However, he took care to avoid arguing such ideas or even mentioning Stirner's name.

>Nevertheless in his study of Nietzsche, [Klages] was prompted to commemorate the author Stirner as a "sheer demoniacal dialectician." He concedes to him that his thinking, in comparison to Nietzsche's, is "often more radical, less circumlocutory, analytically more exact", and that he "gives ultimate conclusions, for the most part, with more conciseness." Klages regards Stirner as that "antipode of Nietzsche, who in any case should be taken seriously." Stirner, he says, is the reason why Nietzsche is of paramount importance, because "the day on which Stirner's program becomes the will-guiding conviction of all, this alone would suffice for it to be the 'doomsday' of mankind."

>>1505943
Hehe , a flying dutchman

>>1469522
OVER THE ALPS, PERHAPS?

>>1506250
no, through. he didnt have a private jet

>>1506341
but he had ELEPHANTS

>>1492527
Don't forget:
>Condemns a whole nation to poverty

>>1505993
>these booing apes make the decisions for my country and the rest of europe
>i live 20 minutes away from where it happens on a daily basis
Jesus.

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good ol' Emperor Norton

>>1471689
This is what politicians should do

>>1472839
The movie based off of him was good. I liked how everyone was shocked that he did that.

>>1488578
What about the Spanish Civil War then?

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>>1472999

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This guy is my hero and I'm not even American

>>1507608
that museum is pretty dope
I wonder when they're gunna open up the middle eastern section

I don't know where else to ask this, but wasn't there a man in history who blinded himself after seeing a certain city because he knew he'd never see something so grand again? What city and person was that?

>>1507763
I've heard the same story but I can't help you with the details. I've got a feeling it may be a myth though.

>Digby then noticed the Padre pinned down by enemy fire while trying to cross the street to get to injured soldiers. Digby got to him and said "Don't worry about the bullets, I've got an umbrella". He then escorted the padre across the street under his umbrella. When he returned to the front line, one of his fellow officers said about his umbrella that "that thing won't do you any good", to which Digby replied "Oh my goodness Pat, but what if it rains?" Digby was later injured by shrapnel, which also cut open the rear of his trousers but continued to fight until A Company had run out of ammunition. Despite the radios being unreliable as Digby had predicted and the bugle calls were used most in the battle, the message "out of ammo, God save The King" was radioed out before Digby was captured.

>>1485100
You have no idea how rapidly you can fire a bolt action rifle.

>>1477187
It was just a prank, bro.

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"you wont take me alive sheriff!"

>>1508139
>those lats
wtf man

>>1508027
Not that anon but... Faster than a bren gun?

>>1508160
Wait, I see my mistake. That's what I get for jumping into a conversation half-cocked.

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does anyone know that one story about a french final stand in some battle from the napoleonic period?

i can't find it or remember the detail very well, but the french ended up surrounded and a couple of men ended up fighting to the end to ensure the rest could retreat...
the tale revolved around a mad flag bearer who impaled several enemy soldiers during the skirmishes and when he was finally deadly wounded his final move was to roll himself into the flag so they couldn't steal his regiment colours; also, the final "scene" was the regiment's officer last stand in which nothing is known besides several dead corpses where laying around his (also) dead body - all with stab wounds from his saber

i read about that shit some years ago but i can't remember much about it besides this

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>OP comes into the surgery
>tells me to name a historical madman
>Give him a lethal dose of morphine

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>By the time of Perry’s return, the Tokugawa shogunate had decided to accept virtually all the demands in Fillmore's letter. However, negotiators procrastinated for weeks over the site for negotiations, with Perry insisting on Edo, and the Japanese offering various other locations. Perry eventually lost his temper and threatened to bring 100 ships (more than the actual size of the US Navy at the time) within 20 days to war on Japan.

>>1507966
>He also took an umbrella with his kit as a means of identification because he had trouble remembering passwords and felt that anyone who saw him with it would think that "only a bloody fool of an Englishman" would carry an umbrella into battle.[6]

A B S O L U T E M A D M A N

Also, that motherfucker died on my birthday. As in, the exact date of my birth.

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>no Dandolo
Still amazes me this blind fuck managed to take the byzzies beyond the point of saving.

>>1508203
Did they ever find out why the mad cunt did it?

>>1508559
Money and mommy issues.

>>1471738
Prairie nigs BTFO

>>1476695
Flew dying children to hospitals, stopped muggers beating someone to deathvwith a baseball bat, made investors interested in manhattan after they had given up. The lisy goes on but!you dont care soz

>>1473508
Sounds like a monty python sketch

>>1508709
>*answers door*
>m8 right what it is...

>>1507575
>talking about WWII
>brings up a conflict that is entirely separate from WWII
Lad...

>>1508646
>stopped muggers beating someone to deathvwith a baseball bat

The person who told this story was his limo driver and there were apparently no other witnesses. I genuinely do not believe it happened.

>>1472839
>He was also a contentious objector

Thats an even better story

>grows up as a typical hillbilly in the smocky mountains
>drinks moonshine all the time
>runs moonshine all the time
>gets into fights and beats the shit out of people all the time
>lives his life as a drunk, fighting, booze running asshole
>also amazing with a rifle. great hunter who is famous in his town for doing all sorts of trick shots
>one day while walking home from a bar drunk and after beating someone up, gets struck by fucking lighting
>decides to give up booze and never get into another fight again, or harm another man again
>gets drafted to fight in WW1 soon after

>>1473508

sauce?

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>>1472999

>>1476645

>shoots at cossacks in Poland from a moving train
>called them subpar cavalry

>>1509112
I like to think it was more like

>draft officers show up
>i can't fight, it's just... people get hurt
>you fucking pussy, get in the truck we're going to war faggot and no more chickenshit...
>no you don't understand. i'll kill them all
>sure
>I KILL THEM ALL
>okay buddy you know what, maybe we can pass on your
>GIVE ME THE GUN

>>1476645
>"We are told that the pen is mightier than the sword, but I know which of these weapons I would choose."
Stone cold gangsta.

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>>1494350
>So our method of fighting war has been abstracted to playing chess with foreign terror groups and financial markets.
Fuck this shit. It's so indecipherable, annoying and repetitive it makes me wish industrial warfare would make a comeback.

At least with industrial warfare, there was always a clear and decisive victor. A war fought fourth gen style could (and probably will) go one for entire centuries and still not have a definite victor

>>1510216
As long as I don't die.