Who is the Sponge Bob of history?
Intelligent, Nihilistic and with a Wicked Sense of Humor? Gustavus Adolphus.
Plotinus, he absorbed the previous six Centuries of Greek philosophy like a sponge and made a synthesis of them.
Started out great, was shit for a long time, and has recently started to get good again?
China I guess?
>>1428804
>>1428804
Douglas Haig.
Let me sum up the battle of the Somme for you.
>I'm ready.
>I'm ready.
>I'm ready.
>I'm ready.
>I'm ready.
>etc(fucking spam filter)
>...
>I'M NOT READY!
>isn't it nice Hadrian? Just the three of us, me, you, and this brick wall you built between us.
That guy in colonial America who Forrest Gumped his way to riches by stumbling into shit and taking terrible advice from haters that happened to work out for him.
>>1428872
Timothy Dexter?
>>1428876
Yeah, him.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timothy_Dexter
>>1428917
Jesus that's hilarious
>>1428917
>This became evident when he started telling visitors that his wife had died (despite the fact that she was still alive) and that the woman who frequented the building was simply her ghost.[1] In one notable episode, Dexter faked his own death to see how people would react. About 3,000 people attended Dexter's mock wake. Dexter did not see his wife cry, and after he revealed the hoax, he caned her for not grieving enough.[6]
the absolute mad man
>>1428917
>Aged 50, Dexter wrote a book about himself – A Pickle for the Knowing Ones or Plain Truth in a Homespun Dress – in which he also complained about politicians, the clergy and his wife. The book contained 8,847 words and 33,864 letters, but no punctuation and its capitalization seemed random. At first, he handed his book out for free, but it became popular and was reprinted for sale eight times.[2] In the second edition, Dexter added an extra page which consisted of 13 lines of punctuation marks with the instructions that readers could distribute them as they pleased.[7]
AHAHA
>>1428917
>People jokingly told him to "ship coal to Newcastle". He did so during a miners' strike at the time, and his cargo was sold at a premium.[4][5] At another time, practical jokers told him he could make money shipping gloves to the South Sea Islands. His ships arrived there in time to sell the gloves to Portuguese boats on their way to China.[4]
Seems like a Spongebob move to me.