DO YOU BDSM??

>>1044616
I do actually

>>1044616

I can't find a woman that actually gets off on it like I do. Some will try it or go through the motions every once in a great while to humor me but they don't get off on it. They don't crave and need the dynamic or understand the level of mental intimacy that takes place in mutually satisfying BDSM session. They don't comprehend that BDSM is something you plan and do WITH a partner and something I do TO them to get get off. A this point in my life vanilla sex alone and by itself is less gratifying than just jerking off.

Meh, I'm just not I to it. My gf likes to be choked and her pussy is so tight that she prefers anal. So I'm fucking her ass with my hand on her throat, but it just doesn't do it for me. Ill spank her ass sometimes, that's cool. Whatever, I don't hate it, it's just not my thing.

>>1044677
I may as well have wrote this myself lol, my current partner as you say, goes through the motions for me but I know she doesn't enjoy it half as much as me. Frustrating as I don't enjoy vanilla sex, most people would say that's strange but you can't help what you like.

>>1044677
My boyfriend prefers vanilla but I'm more into BDSM so I can understand haha

>>1044954

Thing is I do enjoy vanilla sex, intimacy and romance after a scene as part of aftercare or a transition pr coming down from between sessions. It just doesn't fuel any passion or arousal initially on the front end. I like the dichotomy/contrast but I need the kink in varying degrees to get me to that point.

>>1044824

I tried finding someone through munches in my area. I figured I could start backwards by finding someone with compatible kinks and then start dating and work our way back to sex and kink with no suprises. I'm straight heterosexual and monogamous. I'm not an exhibitionist and I like being private and discrete. BDSM is a shared intimate secret for me. Its a connection and its binding psychologically with the right person/dynamic. What I found at munches were lonely people that claimed to want a stable relationship but they want to fuck whoever they want because no single person can fill all their needs and their partner needs to be OK with that but still invest in them completely emotionally or they want to talk about and brag about their kink sessions in intimate details to anyone and everyone and its so trashy and sleazy in that context to me and not in a good way. Or they want to do shit at organized events. I get having kink friends and discussing generally what your into or techniques but I don't think anyone needs to know the intimate specific details. Finding a normal kinky pervert is like looking for a myth at a munch. People want to show off or try to out kink each other. The only thing you might find is a short term play partner who you only see for the actual session and maybe planning a session.

>>1045165

This was supposed to linked to >>1044947

>>1045165
This so much! Everyone just wants to fuck around now a days.

>>1045170

If that is their thing its fine but don't sit there at the munch bitching and moaning how you can't find a long term partner, doms all use you and dump you or worse tell me or insinuate that I'm somehow insecure or closed minded because I'm not interested in dating or pursuing a relationship with someone who is poly and wants to fuck anybody they want whenever they want while they expect me to invest my time, emotions and other resources into them. I'm not promiscuous either so I sort of need to know someone and trust them before I'm comfortable enough to restrain them, spank their ass, torture their nipples and fuck them like a rag doll. Maybe I'm old fashioned?

>>1045244
Thats too much for me. When you need to go to those lengths to get off it might be time to maybe consider some professional help

I'm trying to learn how. I enjoy choking my gf during sex and she loves it. She wants in particular to be tied up, but I'm not sure what to do with her then beyond whipping her and plugging her with a vibrator, both of which she loves.

Once she's tied up she says "do whatever you want with me", but I'm just not sure what I want to do with her and I'm trying to figure that out.

>>1047552
You could try temperature play? Maybe blindfold her and rub ice or warming massage oil? You could also try using a feather and going between the feather and the whip? Sensual play is really good with someone that's tied up

>>1045165
You need to look for a girl looking for a daddy Dom situation. They won't want to fuck around, relatively normal relationship as long as they aren't on the baby-pre teen spectrum. They'll be super lovey and want normal shit but you will need to actually father them

Try drawing out teasing for ages and stopping just shy of orgasm over and over. Will make her into the most obedient pathetically slutty thing after awhile. That's my favorite (I'm a sub). Fun game to see how long she can hold it together til she is reduced to that place. Don't always need more trappings devices etc. Push the psychological bounds. Slowly gear her up to just barely pushing her limits. Get into degradation etc if you're not. Done right it's omgggg. Done wrong it's a fast mood killer. Make her feel not just subby but shamefully so. Then associate it all with the sexual release you've denied her. Nom.

>>1044616
Yup. I'm mostly dominant, but not exclusively. My wife is extremely submissive... honestly, I think she'd be happy with 100% of our sex being BDSM, and we only have vanilla sex because she knows I like a mix of the two.

Tbh though, I actually kinda wish she'd try domming sometime. I've asked twice... she's agreed in abstract to try it sometime, but we've never actually done it. I'm like 70% dominant, 30% submissive. So I'm plenty happy domming, but that 30% is being neglected. I'm not sure how to make the idea more appealing to her.