Thread replies: 8
Thread images: 3
Thread images: 3
File: image3446.png (139KB, 375x250px) Image search:
[Google]
139KB, 375x250px
Not sure if right board? im from /lit/
anywho
Im writing a novella that might end up a graphic novel if my friend is on board.
Here is an exert, What do you think of my prose?
'RANE: ‘I had lost myself in the unconscious and irrational justification for my destructive behavior- a hunger for substance induced somnolence overwhelms me.
And like a primal desire, it rattles at my innermost center.’
novelladerane Dot wordpress Dot com
Looking for freelance story boarders. WIll pay via pay pal.
again - Any story boarders/concept artists online? if so please email novelladerane AT gmail DOT com.
P.s i am aware the image does not belong to me, but this is early stages, I need employees.
>>
It's really wordy, fampai. You don't need to completely abandon your flowery style, but a little brevity wouldn't kill you. Also, you wrote "exert" as in "to exert force", when you meant "excerpt". I would consider having /lit/ look your draft over before moving on to art.
Second, this is a better board for getting the cover/jacket or general layout and typography questions. If you're looking to hire a storyboarder, you'd be better served at /ic/.
>>
>>280225
Thanks for the tips and advice and ill be sure to head over, I have an editor, most of my grammatical mistakes are due to laziness. My editor gets paid well enough for me not to have to worry.
Again much appreciates fren
>>
File: 80441776.jpg (56KB, 610x667px) Image search:
[Google]
56KB, 610x667px
>>280215
I find myself wondering how someone could be justifying a behavior in their unconscious state?
>>
File: 1471630355683.jpg (25KB, 498x412px) Image search:
[Google]
25KB, 498x412px
>>280215
Prose is overcomplicated to the point of being unbearable.
Read this:
"Elements of Style" by Strunck & White
https://faculty.washington.edu/heagerty/Courses/b572/public/StrunkWhite.pdf
>>
>>>/ic/ is that way OP
>>
>>280215
It's like you wrote what you meant in plain english, then sat there with an online thesaurus looking up what you said word for word to try to make it as complicated and sophisticated as possible.
It's needless, and it hinders what you're trying to convey.
KISS
You don't have to write it like you would a kid's book, but god damn no one will pay attention to this.
>>
>>280215
>>/lit/
>>mispells excerpt
>>somnolence
Right off the bad sell your thesaurus and buy a dictionary half the reason people dont read books is because the language doesnt seem real to them. Im not saying abandon youre style its very nice but ive heard the wrod somnolence used twice in my life once while doing packaging for sleeping pills and just now... Say drowsiness my nigga just because the word is pretty doesnt mean its going to work. Kill your darlings and so on
Thread posts: 8
Thread images: 3
Thread images: 3