Do you steal from work?

Yes. It's not really my fault but the company's for not even keep track of how much of each item they have. I make ~$500 extra a month so not really complaining.

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I time all my bowel movements during company time and I also jerk off in there sometimes.

I also automate things I was being paid to do by hand and and purposely don't rewrite our build scripts so they stay super slow and I can watch an episode of anime between complete rebuilds.

No, I'm white

>>62387873
I steal laptops and desktops all the time. My old job many were discarded or not kept track off and honestly no one gave a damn.

New job is a lot more strict but they throw away perfectly good old desktops all the time. I have plenty of hardware on hand I don't even ask to take these home but I salvage CPU and RAM and sell em on eBay. Made close to $800 in 4 months. Just use the money on weed.


I'm not a druggie or poor. Director of IT. Medical companies are very wasteful.

>>62388488
>Weed

>>62388063
That's what I also do.
I work 6 hours, no breaks, and yesterday was like every other day.
2.5 hours of work 3.5 hours of web browsing and anime.

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all my school gpus, now they all use intel hd graphics, they didnt even notice lmao.


mining profits have never been this good.

No. But they have free beer so I don't need to steal anything.

Nope I'm not a cumskin.

I stole a towel.

>>62391262
small guide and what do you mine plz

Literally every person in this thread has stolen from their workplace. Anyone who says different is a liar.

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>>62387873
I buy office equipment and surreptitiously plant it on my coworkers' desks.

Worked as a Food sampler, I stole a meat thermometer and a pizza cutter

Yes I literally backdoored the main work pc and I change the file that houses info on all the tips.

Its not much but its alright.

Yes.
So far I stoled around 20 meters of LAN cable, couple of routers and a laptop.

>>62392086
YOU MONSTER

No, I'm white.

I have my own company.

So no.

>>62387873
Yes, but literally nobody except the main manager cares.

Free pizza is the shit.

I have a couple paper clips and some bic pens.

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I.. sometimes print documents at work for myself..?

like tickets to concerts..

>>62392558
Alright satan, you have really outdone yourself this time.

>>62391978
No, not everybody is a filthy rat.

>>62392240
>stoled

I stole five stickers from the store I work in

No, but I do get old hardware

>>62387873

Well, I sometimes steal their money by browsing 4chan all day when there's nothing else to do, but hey - it's their fault to employ a sluggard like me.

Also the payment is shitty for making databases and do some tech support every now and then, so it's a win-win situation.

I steal food from the work fridge. Fuck you Dave, I will keep on taking your sandwiches.

I only take stuff from the surplus bin, mostly cables, old books or the odd PC peripheral.

Other than that, I've taken some books home, but I'll probably give them back if I find another job. Not really much to steal at software jobs, when I worked as an IT guy, there was much more possibilities, even unused iphones sitting around, but even then only took cables.

>>62392905

This is dave.

I always suspected you were browsing 4chan, you little bitch. I just filed a complaint to MGMT. You shouldn't have taken my sandwiches, man.

nice try, officer

>>62393015
Which company are you talking about? The Dave I know would never browse 4chan or fail to spell his own name with a capital letter.

>>62393015
what is MGMT gonna do? lmao

>>62392140
Fuck that's elaborated but cool. Way to go negro.

>>62387873
>stealing from the people you work for
You know employees are the first ones on the suspect list when something that only employees should have access to gets copied or goes missing...right?

>>62392140
So what do you get from that?

>>62387873
>work
Implying I have a job.

When I worked at CVS I stole a few charging cables, canker sore covers, candy, and sometimes opened up lube and jacked off while "cleaning the bathroom", also once I got curious and opened up a pack of balloon animal balloons and shoved it up my butt.

Only thing I ever stole was three candy bars

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>>62392352
>t. ceo of web dev @ upwork.com

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>>62393836

>multiple ancient parts to make a shitty computer to install distros and learn about Linux
>a couple of SATA and LAN cables
>solder wires
>magnets from dead HDDs

>1TB HDDs that were never going to be used because of SSD upgrades
>Wi-Fi dongles because on one is ever going to need them again

>>62388488
>spends $800 on weed
>"I'm not a druggie"

>>62391978
>I do it therefore everyone does it

Wrong.

>>62387873
Stole a switch and a couple of HDMI cables from my first job
Jobs since then have been remote so there's nothing to steal

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>>62394160
considering that all poo in loos look identical, you would never be able to identify that guy even if he looked straight at the fucking camera

smart move kiddo

only toilet paper

>>62394268
Not wrong. I don't for a second believe that none of you have ever stolen a single thing from work.

That would be like believing none of you have ever masturbated or had sex.

>>62388488
thats a lot of weed bro

>>62394461
>$800 in 4 months
That's perfectly reasonable depending on location and quality.

I'm wondering, what are the perfect positions/jobs that would allow you to get away with stealing most shit? Working in a startup as a code monkey sure as hell doesn't get you anything and I'm almost burnt out.
I'd love to move into a comfier position where I can shitpost 50% of the time AND rip off the company kek

>>62387873
My skin is white, DeShawn

>>62394680
I don't know what you pay for your weed, but if you spend 200 dollars on weed every month then you are either being ripped off or buying a fuckton of weed

>>62394680
Techsupport/sysadmin

>>62391952
https://whattomine.com/

>>62394983
Well I used to pay 10$/g or more here in Europe from what I can remember. There were times I would definitely spend more than 200$ in a month. Admittedly, the gf would share a j with me as well every other day.
But we've left all that degeneracy behind.

Only thing of value I've snagged would be leftover hard drives after a ssd upgrade.
But I give them tons of time for free.

>>62387873
I work at a 1970s zinc smelter and they only spend money on things that NEED to be replaced in order to keep production going
So there's nothing there I couldn't resist to steal.
Also I'm white so that doesn't help a lot too

>>62395040
>Techsupport
I'm probably going to sound like a dick, but can you seriously make a living out of this?
>/sysadmin
hmm

I take snacks from work on the weekends since they're free and the office is empty then.

I've taken a bunch of cat 6 and fibre patch cables.