>wake up in a pure white room
>Pure nothingness besides a laptop next to your feet and an ethernet cable running out of mist
>Accepting your fate, you pick up the laptop
>boot it up
>Oh, it's running windows 10
>At least you'll have something to do for all of eternity
>A fresh install
>Well, may as well check if the internet works
>Open edge browser
>Type in a search
>Success! It works but it was a Bing search for some reason
>Oh that's right, Edge defaults to bing
>Better install Firefox
>Download the Firefox installer
>Open the exe
>"Sorry, this program cannot be installed"
>Run as administrator
>"Sorry, this program cannot be installed. Check out a range of applications on the windows store"
>Right click computer properties
>Operating System: Windows 10 S
>Satan's laughter echoes through the room
>an advertisement pops up in the notification bar
>>61896548
>pull my handy dandy Gentoo USB out of my ass
>install Gentoo
I smiled
Microshaft BLOWN THE BTFO OUT
>>61896548
Browse to the MS Store and buy 10 Pro license with your mom's credit-card.
Could god create a malware so terrible he himself couldn't uninstall it?
>>61896548
if I have infinite time sooner or later I can find a privilege escalation zero-day anyway
>>61896648
What if there isn't one?
>>61896548
you can upgrade to home edition for free it's just a stripped down windows for people who always fuck up their machines.
>mfw this is what hell is really like
>>61897336
>sorry, upgrading to home premium is not available. You can buy pro for a quick, one time fee of $49
>Check bank account
>No monies
Stuck
Forever
>>61897626
>>>61897336
>>sorry, upgrading to home premium is not available. You can buy pro for a quick, one time fee of $49
>>Check bank account
>>No monies
>Stuck
>Forever
FTP to microsoft, get diskimage of Win 7 N,
FTP hirens, wipe drive, install Win 7 N.
Rip satans pants down, slip him the meat.
>>61896548
i hate steve jobs
mftw i always carry around a windows 7 ultimate usb flash drive with me and also a tails usb
>>61898268
But you're naked
>>61898292
I keep it in my ass then
>>61897626
We're the hacker known as 4chan, we can steal a credit card using nothing but edge.
>>61896569
>having to ram a stick up your ass
>not having an USB stick disguised as a tooth in your jaw
Better pirate gentoo
>>61900466
>he can't reproduce a perfect gentoo iso using nothing but notepad
>>61900575
>Can't install gentoo by nutting in USB port
>>61896548
At least it's not Linux
>>61902119
interjection
>>61896548
⢀⣠⠖⠒⠋⠉⠉⠙⠒⠲⢄⣀⢀⣠⠴⠒⠒⠒⠒⠢⣄⡀
⢀⡰⠊⣀⠘⢣⠙⣄
⢠⠞⢀⣠⠴⠒⠋⠉⠉⠉⠙⠒⠲⣜⣆⣀⣤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⢤⣼⣀⣀
⢀⠞⣀⣀⣠⡤⠤⠤⠽⣦⣀⢀⣀⣀⣤⠤⠤⢤⣬⣑⣄
⢀⡠⣼⢀⣀⢴⣒⣋⡥⠴⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠺⠾⠟⠒⠒⠋⣉⣉⣉⣉⣓⣒⢿⣀
⣰⠁⡇⢰⡒⠊⢉⣀⣀⣀⣠⢴⣲⣶⣮⣍⡉⠉⢹⠔⠒⠊⢉⣠⡖⣶⣶⣶⡀⠉⢺
⣰⠁⠉⠉⣓⢤⣀⡀⢰⣿⣷⣿⣉⣻⣷⣠⣾⣀⣀⡀⢸⣿⣻⣿⣤⣿⡷⣴⠞
⣰⠁⠈⠓⠒⠻⠽⠿⣿⣿⡭⢭⠴⠒⠁⠈⣠⠞⠁
⣰⠃⢀⣀⠴⠒⠉⠐⠲⢤⡤⠤⠴⠒⢞
⢰⠁⠈⠁⢱⡀
⡎⣀⢱
⣇⢰⠚⠉⣉⣉⣉⣉⡛⠒⠒⠲⠤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⠤⠖⠚⢉⡆
⠸⡀⢀⢸⣀⣈⣉⠈⠉⠙⠒⠒⠲⠦⠤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⠤⠴⠶⢲⠚
⠘⢆⡀⠘⢦⣀⡀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠛⠒⠒⠒⠲⠤⠤⢤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⠞
⠙⠲⢄⣀⢀⣠⠖⠉
⠉⠓⠒⠒⠦⠤⢤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡠⠴⠒⠚⠉
>go to Google.com
>search for Debian
>download iso
>open diskpart
>make myself a partition past the windows one
>unpack the iso
>go back into diskpart
>shrink Deb iso partition
>set as active
>leave rest of disk after unallocated
>reboot
>install Debian to the unallocated space
>install grub to be able to get into windows again
>done.
>>61902278
does windows 10 s have a command prompt or diskpart available?
>>61896647
That's what niggers are
Lets be real, satan would not have given you an administrator account.
>>61902299
I would like to think so.
>>61902328
So escalate privileges yourself.
Are you new?
Hell is 16kb/s internet connection.
>>61896548
>wait(tm) for a vulnerability in the os
>escalate privileges(trigger warning)
>shrink partition
>create new one
>write gentoo install medium on it
>find a way to install grub from within windows
>reboot
>install gentoo
>>61900355
kek
>you look closely at your internet connection.
>you find it as cat 6 cable
>decently quality.
>you then go ahead and run a speed test
>1.0gbps down, 0.9gbps up
>falling a bit back, you are astonished
>but you notice something strange, an inconsistency
>you start diving deeper and are horrified with the result.
>95% packets transmitted are lost
>of the 5% that make it, 33% are coming back with 1 second of latency
>of the remaining 66% of packets, 25% miss a crc checksum
>and 50% have a damaged SSL certificate
>you are in tears at this point, as you attempt to download a file
>the estimated time is worse then windows 98
>>61902055
>not somehow manipulating all the atoms in the universe since time immemorial to eventually create a Gentoo drive into your pocket
>>61903172
YOU ASSHOLE
>>61902407
You can't shrink your partition because your hard drive is full of candy crush clones from the windows store and you're not on an admin account
>>61903172
>The ethernet cable actually connects to a router in repeater mode
>That router is connected to a public wifi at McDonald's
>A McDonald's that's just slightly out of range so connection is usually intermittent
>>61906799
Don't make me cry
>>61896569
>G:\ is not accessible.
>The file or directory is corrupted and unreadable.
>>61902308
they're just a fork bomb
>>61906799
>overclock my hdd
>get another terabyte