>be autistic >attempt to enter IT job market >someone

>>61480107
Are you the same guy that made the thread earlier?

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>>61480326
I just got online, sorry.

Looks like 4chan really is homogenous. I guess I'll never escape. Everyone's too similar to me.

>>61480375
Ahh okay

How about instead of just outright lying to yourself try acting like the type of person that you think would do well at the job.

Also goes without saying but start studying and researching the areas you're looking to go into

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>Lied to this grill, pretending I was a programmer knowing most languages pretty well and faked having owned multiple semi successful apps on Android and iOS
>Also pretended to managed network infrastructure before
>One day she introduces me to her friends who are doing a startup business
>They need a website built and an app to connect their users and them as well as network infrastructure setup
>Pretend to be busy
>One day we're at bar and all talking about their project
>They keep pressing me to help
>Tell them I'll think about it and see when I have time
>She gets all bubbly and hugs me and kisses me on cheek
>Decide to bunker down and start learning
>Some weeks go by and I am really close with this girl
>Still no results for her friends business
>They offer to hire me
>I had no money for rent that month since I spent it all and even sold some of my stuff to get money to impress this girl so she'd think I was successful and had a steady job
>I take them up on their offer of paying me $1500 upfront to get me going
>Think I can just whack out their app quickly
>Still failing
>Get this shitty beta app going
>Show them it and they like it but it's completely non functional and is literally just a user interface
>Pay some guy $50 to make the app for me
>fuckyes
>Get it up on the appstore
>All is going good
>they start pressing me about their website and network infrastructure
>Suddenly app disappears off appstore
>App removed on copyright grounds
>The guy provided info proving it was his and had it removed


honest question how do I get myself out of this? will any bros help me out?

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This is now a greentext story thread

>>61480624
>hoping this isn't pasta

Approach the guy you paid to make it and come clean, beg him to revoke the claim. Can't really think of anything else you could do seeing as this guy basically has you by the balls now.

Tbh I wish I had a girl I cared about enough to go through all that effort for

>>61480624
Holy fuck
You never had your ass beaten in your life have you
Hahah

>>61480737
Nah, go get a new guy to make you an app, then get the rights for it. If you can't do that, have a guy make you an app, and then have another guy change the app so it's unable to get hit with copyright, keep going until you find a guy who doesn't care. After that, fuck your ladyfriend and then never contact her again.
Don't die from the shame, give them their money back and say you have pressing matters to attend to.

>>61480624

Suicide seems like the only viable option for you.

>>61480624
99% fake

>>61480791
Damn. I almost choked myself laughing.

>>61480791
Third-party observer here. I'm genuinely curious about this expression as I've frequently seen it used. What does it mean?

>>61480791


what did he mean by this ?

>>61480933
>>61480969

He is suggesting that Anon's parents were terrible at administering disciplinary actions (i.e. not spanking enough), hence why he grew into a shithead that lies about his capabilities and gets into this sort of mess.

Ignoring the debate over whether or not physical punishment is an effective method of disciplining children, it is nonetheless obvious that Anon's parents could have done more in his development.

>>61481120
Thank you for explaining the expression.

>>61480107
/g/ isn't the job board, tho
>>>/biz/

>>61480107
i don't have to fake anything, but my communication skills are so poor that i can't convince them that i can do the job anyway
>get asked to do a short skills test once online before an interview for lowly level 1 role
>get in 95th percentile
>better than their current it manager
>they think i cheated

>>61481154

The more common variation of this statement is "your parents didn't hit/beat you enough as a kid"

>>61480624
sorry, i have no experience being a lying, cheating shithead

>>61480624
pay some pajeet to do it

>>61480107

My advice is to get an entry level job in support or QA or even as an intern, but really try to find a company that seems like it will grow. I know that's hard to tell from the outside, but try to find some middle ground between a start-up (which will need you to be overqualified from the get-go) and some giant megacorp that only sees tiny percentage gains that won't be felt by most employees.

If the company has room to grow, then regardless of where you start there will be turmoil and opportunity for talented/useful people to move up.

Just take whatever role they'll give you and even if it sucks work your ass off and do your best to find ways to improve things for people. If you can manage that and also be fairly likeable you'll probably get promotions naturally without even demanding them. Also get to know people in other departments, they'll probably have useful knowledge of other aspects of the business and can give you a better sense of where you could move within the company.

I'm basically describing how my job has worked out for me, I started in bottom-level support and haven't stayed in any one role for more than 9months since, and a lot of the reason is that my company has more than tripled our annual income in the less than 3 years since I started.

This approach required zero deception and I'm now a full time dev with no qualifications beyond a B.A.

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this is all you need OP

>paid pajeet $1500 to take all exams for me

>>61480624
You're fucked anon. get new GF and change your name, you might need to move

>>61481665
what are you plans for when you actually have to do shit?

>graduate with a 3.8 in computer science with a minor in math
>Can't code, can't factor
>Still gainfully employed in IT
The definition of fake it 'til you make it.

>>61480624
No way this is real.
God I love this place if it is.

>>61481665
What do you even do?

>>61482160
Here I am coding in my off time to become a better programmer like a sucker. I better land a fucking job REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>61482123
>>61482237

Because of the Certs, I got promoted to a Senior IT Technician ll

I'm supposed to be the last in line for escalated support tickets/trouble calls.

Most tickets get resolved mid way through the escalation chain. And if/when they do reach me, close the call due to out of date equipment. mostly just manage the schedule of the other techs.

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Succeeding in the tech world really isn't about knowing things, it's knowing if something is possible and how to find out how to do it.

Gain a broad perspective of technology and practice problem solving skills.

Oh, and obligatory you're a fucking retard OP.

>>61480107
Make friends with the engineers. Follow the knowledgeable ones to companies that hire on technical expertise rather than poo-in-loo degrees.

>>61481219
/biz/ isn't the job board either. It's the shitcoin shilling board.

>>61480107
>2017
>a job
why do you do this to yourself?

>>61480107

>Get new job working with consulting firm doing construction engineering.

>Oversell my computer skills (literally took only a R programming course lel)

>Boss expects me sort out the IT issues in the office (33 employees)

Freaking out desu, wat do?

Do I need to learn SQL?

>>61480624
You should never do that much just to impress a chick. You're just gonna get fucked over.

>>61480624
fuck the girl
tell the guys "I'm fucking done"
step the fuck away
you literally are still outside of any real punishment

>>61480624
Admit you lied. Apologise, and try to repeal the removal

>>61482940
>Do I need to learn SQL?
Are you administering a database?

>>61480107
>"fake it till you make it"
that just means smile and nod- surely you can fake a smile?