SCRUM

it's when you implement a bunch of shit that will be torn out later because the system isn't fully planned yet

>what does a scrum master do?
reports back to the CTO and tells him what he wants to hear about how much """"""progress""""" is being made in so little time

>>61183816
Scrum is a way for project managers to understand agile, distorting it into a mini waterfall. It needs to be buried

>>61183861
Does a scrum master gets paid more than the programmers in his team? Does a scrum master do actual programming or his work is meetings and presentations all day everyday?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hG4LH6P8Syk

>>61183888
depending on the size of the team probably meetings all day
the whole purpose of an sm is to take care of any and all communication with the client, contractors and other projects related people so the programmers can just focus on their work
if the programmers are being distracted with emails and phone calls the sm isnt doing his job right

>>61183912
I don't know a single scrum master who is a benefit to his team.

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5KB, 200x142px

Skub or no, /g/?

>>61183956
myeah well.. most of them are just re-purposed project managers with no specific training in agile, let alone scrum so they have no idea what they are doing
>>61183972
git outta here

The scrum master at my work just browses facebook for half a day and has useless talks with people the other day.

So if scrum masters / project managers do hardly any real work but still get paid more than developers then wouldn't it be a sort of a dream job compared to programming?

>>61183816
>What is scrum?
A bunch of bullshit.
>What does a scrum master do?
Be everyones pussy.
>Is it some bullshit like lean?
Yes. It's a real red flag.

its how normies get autistic fucks to do more work.

>>61184336
Actually it is how management scum falls for memes.

>>61183816
1 deliver to prod every couple of weeks
2 customer must have one person who is responsible for prioritizing which work goes into the next couple of weeks
3 every morning you have to tell your team if you did anything of value yesterday or if you were just idling

thats scrum

It makes management-people think they're making everyone work harder or something. Just play along when the scrum-master is looking and do what you normally do when he doesn't

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>>61184556
I work in a different industry but we do the same shit plus we have to write an email at the end of the workday of the work we done to the team members and the management plus we have twice a day meetings bullshitting about the work done and we get shitty little cards with our tasks written on them fixed to a table like in a kindergarden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUz1ytcnn3c

>>61184556
1. Pretend that you can deploy to prod every couple of weeks. But your client can't even remember what is finished and there is no time allocated to test/fix bugs.
2. Your client prioritizes work, but can't be bothered to write comprehensive and coherent acceptance criteria.
3. Every morning you tell your team that you wait for some other team member/some external party to finally finish the shit you have been waiting for since a week ago.

Meanwhile the 'scrum master' will sit in some bullshit meeting and try to constantly change or introduce new processes instead of actually contributing to the team.

>>61183816
>master
The correct term is leader, you fucking racist.

>>61185069
Literally nothing wrong with racism you nigger

>>61184776
This is how not to do scrum

You should have a product owner prioritizing the backlog and working with the client. You should have BSAs that write stories and AC. You should be able to deploy to prod in an automated fashion.

The problem is not scrum, it's that you're not even doing it right.

>>61185069
>>61185302
racism is very bad, as is samefagging, as is carrying out socratic dialogues with yourself

>>61183816
>Scrum master

More like scum master.... You autistic dev fucks can't understand the business world, so we have to get someone to dilute our precise instructions into mickey mouse speak for you. So that's what a scum master does - woks with the product owner to prioritise and describe technical change for autistic spergs.

>>61183816

It's a scam invented by a bunch of conference peddlers to sell their books/consultancy service/conference to corporate management. Managers love sending people to these BS conferences because it makes it look like they are doing something useful.

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>>61183816
It's someone who didn't git gud.
Scrub master is a scrub to surpass them all in the epic fail.

>>61185969
>racism is bad
Prove it