Google I/O

>>60448182
Is google dead? They've run out of ideas and companies to buy. They're just reiterating again and again. The industry needs some fresh blood

>>60448201
SUPER CHAT

>>60448182
>draw a rectangle and a circle
>CALL IT MODERN DESIGN
The age we chose.

Recap
>more LGBT rights
>more refugees
>saying "4x" rather than four times
>Super Chat (paying for stickied Youtube live comments)

>all this AI analysis of your photos and text

The botnet is getting stronger.

>muh diversity

google why

>>60448215
>>60448238
IT'S OVER

Also
>More AI
>More Google Assistant features
>Google Lens for AI object recognition
>Google Home gains BT (not sure if it was disabled prior or if there's a new model)

>AIs that train AIs

Is this the beginning of Skynet?

>>60448228
MODERN FLAT DESIGN IS A MISTAKE
SKEUOMORPHISM IS THE FUTURE

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HOW MAKE WE GOOGLE DIE?

THIS IS PURE CANCER SHIT. REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>HEY LOOK WE GOT A NOTIFICATION DOT WHICH THE IPHONE 3 ALREADY HAD LOL!

That Lens shit looks pretty dope famalams

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Built in Malware protection for Google Play Store

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Remember the LGBTs!

>>60448317
I want built in copycat shovelware protection but that would kill 95% of apps

what the fuck is Kotlin

>>60448337
THIS.

Why dont they use C for Apps?

When the botnet recognizes your lol folder and calls the cops, remember it was your captcha solving that made it happen

>>60448337
The company that makes JetBrains invented it. It's just some bullshit that compiles to java.

Kuckland added to android!

New programming language based on javascript running on top of javascript inside a html/css container via javascript injection!

Features new native emojii inside the editor!

>>60448317
I want a built in botnet prevention app that immediately bricks my phone

>>60448350
C is for Cucks.

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Seven brazilians [redacted] every day

>>60448372
that's some next level stuff

>>60448385
What about holyC?

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Android Go
>>60448389
woops meant minutes. whatever

>>60448215
her voice was SUPER annoying and dudebro

also the currys are impossible to listen to,
>when your CEO only speaks curry so thick your ears just bleed

>>60448389
that's seven brazilians too many

Summary so far:
- Google announces AutoML, an AI that can train AIs.
- Google announces Google Lens, which enables assistant to use your camera and answer things about your environment
- Google Photos gets some updates to allow sharing photos of particular people or things with other people automatically (and also expands its capabilities to edit things out of pictures like fences automatically)
- Google Home can take over nearby devices and display results or perform actions on phones or chromecast TVs.
- Youtube CEO talks about diversity
- Youtube announces SuperChat for livestreams, that allows people to pay money to get their comment stickied in chat
- Android boot times halved in Android O, and resource limits placed on background apps
- Google Play Protect provides malware protection by scanning all your apps
- Kotlin now an officially supported dev language for Android
- Android Go project intended to make Android run better on phones with shit specs for poor countries

>>60448389
>Android Go

LMAO

they just should call it Yet Another Affordable Android Project

When did this start? am i late?

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More Youtube Apps. This one is for data savings.

>>60448385
>t. brainlet

Built in TP dispenser for India when?

>preview a 20MB video before watching it

holy shit this is really third-world af jesus fuck

> Kotlin officially supported on Android

Dart and Go officially BTFO.

What the fuck is Google even doing with Dart? They don't support it on anything.

>>60448420
1 hour and 40 minutes ago

:thinking:

>LGBT
>refugees
>22 indian laguages
>:thinking:
cringy as fuck

Built in TP dispenser for India when?

More like Android NO updates.

>>60448201
They should buy cuckchan. Slow as fuck.

>>60448416
these "Lite" apps feel like what they should have been all along

don't need bloated Skype, Facebook and Youtube

just make those available everywhere

fucking Google retards

When did this start? am i late?

>>60448182
Get in here fuckboiz
https://youtu.be/GQ7c6fHKNMo

>>60448182
Get in here fuckboiz
https://youtu.be/GQ7c6fHKNMo

SHOW MORE CHROMEBOOK STUFF

RREEEEEEE

Is anyone else having trouble posting?

>>60448511
Yeah

Immigrants are good ok goy???

Oh look, the afghani immigrant is helping people! Muh enrichment! You better let all of them into your country!

how come modern smartphones seem like a fad? none of this shit is necessary, and these devices are going to be completely useless by 2021. meanwhile, old nokia bars from the 2000s still work just fine and will for quite some time. I've actually got a couple of friends who switched back to old nokia/moto phones since they simply still worked and did what they needed phones to do. I can't be the only one

>>60448437
that's kinda the point, literally they're targeting people living in huts with cellphones, giving Bush people a bank account and power, it's kind of a transformative thing even though I hate using a buzz word like that but it's really like uplifting an entire civilization with futuristic learning tech before they even get plumbing or street lights. literally adding billions of people to the global economy is a huge deal

>>60448437
that's kinda the point, literally they're targeting people living in huts with cellphones, giving Bush people a bank account and power, it's kind of a transformative thing even though I hate using a buzz word like that but it's really like uplifting an entire civilization with futuristic learning tech before they even get plumbing or street lights. literally adding billions of people to the global economy is a huge deal

>>60448506
What else do you need other than Samsung's Chromebook Plus and Pro

why have they literally got a segment about fucking india in there when they're meant to be a high-tech frontline start of the art company? why am I seeing Pajeet documentary?

Half the fun of this I/O is watching the /pol/tards get triggered

Enjoy being replaced by Pajeet

>Open keynote
>Watch 10m minutes listening to new improvements for Android O
>Close keynote since the rest is bullshit either way.

Wew

When will google finally stop being morons and present unnecessary shit?

>you are one click away from clicking
really makes you think

I wonder if they'll talk about Polymer. Now that 2.0 is released, nearly all browser have implemented web components and YouTube's new UI is built with it, you'd think they'll mention it.

>>60448506
What else do you need other than Samsung's Chromebook Plus and Pro

>can finally text Google Assistant, a feature that should have been there from the start

>>60448506
What else do you need other than Samsung's Chromebook Plus and Pro

What the fuck was going on before? Was there a blackout? I wasn't able to post a thread during the event about google or io.

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>>60448528
>>60448530
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

>immigrants here
>immigrants there
>diversity
All tech companies are going to shit, how is that Microsoft and Google have indian CEOs and Apple's has a gay CEO (no pun intended)

>>60448593
Show me those titties

>>60448592
There was a hostile takeover.

>>60448592
yeah 4chinz is broken

>>60448473
>Kotlin now an officially supported dev language for Android
jesus, it's taking off so fast

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did you practice your Yes And today /g/?

tell me you did you fucking bigots

>>60448228
Hey it was done by a semi-retarded Somalian refugee who once through a shoe at an African Warlord because Xe wanted to go to school to learn about Koding from Karlie Kloss.

Stop being racist.

K O T L I N
O
T
L
I
N

>>60448630
No, so?

>>60448592
This site is broken on multiple level.

>>60448630
What does #4 even mean?

>>60448670
>Someone says faggot
>You say "Yes and?"

>>60448525
>meanwhile, old nokia bars from the 2000s
Until they shut down their ancient cdma transceivers lmao

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>>60448592
Moot posted on the twitter that one of the servers got wanacryd

>>60448679
We still have GSM.

Where is FUSCHIA

>>60448630
No, it's totally shit.

>>60448630
Yes and I guess this means that I can run naked shouting "The reds are coming". That is how I mostly express myself.

>>60448630
What the fuck is neurodiversity?

>>60448685
>moot
Do you mean gookmoot? Also install gentoo!
Fucking tech illiterate jap.

>>60448289
>youtube chat
>not 'nigger kys faggot nigger' every 2nd line

>>60448721
yeah mootgook

>>60448711
You are now supposed to accept schizophrenics, bipolar, multiple personalities, and autistics as totally normal 100% sane people otherwise you're racist.

>>60448704
I don't think announcing FUSCHIA in the main event for the people that make a living from the OS that will ultimately be replaced by it and thus put most on them out of jobs or in retraining will go well.

>>60448711
neurological diversity, aka "ACCEPT MY SCHIZOPHRENIA OR ELSE CIA NIGGER"

>>60448711
enrichment with sub-70 iq niggers

>>60448711
Literally people with autism

At least there was no emoji this year.

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Take a look at the speaker. Fucking faggot. Why did they think this is a good idea?

>>60448630

>suck my dick?
>yes and
>nice, lets go

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>>60448783
PLS STOP MAKING FUN OF MY GF

>>60448630
yes and you're a faggot

>>60448630
>Yes and
What the fuck does that even mean? Is that some kind of SF inside joke?

Forgot link

>>60448783

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ED7nG2HxBls

>>60448783
that poor man had to stole her mom's dress

>>60448522
Apple is the computing company for white people. Google is literally for terrorists and Pajeets (more moderate terrorists).

>>60448528

> giving Bush people a bank account and power

I'm sure banker jews will really use this to empower them instead of continuing to exploit them like they have already been doing at the national level for hundred years.

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>>60448711
discriminating against pedos is wrong

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>>60448783
I think it'd be a good idea

>>60448783
>This is the future you chose

>>60448834
>Apple is the computing company for white people
1/3 of Apple's engineers are Indians, stay delusional faggot

>Picture in Picture

pukes internally

>>60448289
man i'd pummel her asshole

>we're not going to sell our machine learning system but you can rent it
>it's gated behind gimped API and you have no idea when we're going to jack up the price 100x like we did with App Engine and Firebase

Wow what a deal

>>60448853
That's a hell of a lot better than Google and Microsoft. Both are closer to 90% and that includes the top level employees including the CEO.

>>60448921
>Both are closer to 90%
[citation needed]

>>60448921
>hey how do we fix explorer taking 4 minute to sort through 1,000 files
>POO IN IT
>hey how do we fix explorer not having native webm thumbnail support
>POO IN IT

this explains so much...

>>60448783
Hot blond(((e)))

>>60448630
Yes, and you're full of shit.

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>>60448783

Which of these gets killed before the end of the year?

They've also disabled nohtml5=1 on Youtube today seemingly.
gg, a shit specification won.

Time to write clipboard intercept to open Youtube in a media player.
Fuck HTML5.

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>>60448783
>it's 2017

>>60449046

what's wrong with html5 video players? really curious

>>60448783
jesus christ

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>>60448630
>Not using it as a double-edge sword
Just pretend to be a scitzo and if someone has a problem with it and unleash their true colors, you say "Yes and".

This is so cancerous.

>>60449067
It is inconsistently SHIT on old and new hardware.
Support for hardware acceleration is atrocious.

It makes zero sense. Well, until you factor in that Google wrote it, possibly the worst collection of developers in any major company.
Most of the good talent left and all they have left are college-tier retards straight out of SJW High.
The very few that aren't retards are in niche sides of Google that are hugely R&D and make them loads of money. (like this whole conference will do for them)

>>60448783
>it rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again

>>60448783
This is what happens when companies cave in to small but loud special interest groups and hire people who wouldn't otherwise be working for a tech company.
This is what these people "produce", which is why they have to either brute force their way into real companies or stay working in the professional grievance industry.

>>60448939
> Apple keynote

All white people. Pajeets are confined to the back rows of the audience.

> Google I/O

Not a white person in sight. The last 25 minutes of the stream has practically been a documentary on Bangalore.

>>60448817
What the fuck is this... It's non-stop India.

>>60449135
>possibly the worst collection of developers in any major company
That's Facebook

>>60449152
>All white people. Pajeets are confined to the back rows of the audience.
And what about the nigger filled advertising material they always use? Dumb apple apologist

>>60449135
>>It is inconsistently SHIT on old and new hardware.
>Support for hardware acceleration is atrocious.
This it's an implementation problem that stems from Google's and Mozilla's incompetence, not from the standard itself
Dumb Flash faggot, kys

>>60449183
At least it's confined to the advertisements. That's far better than having Pajeets both in the advertisements and running the company. When was the last time Apple had a 25 minute presentation on Bangalore at one of their major conferences? After this Firebase ad I bet it goes back to talking about India.

>>60448201
Yes. Amazon will be our next overlord

BANGALORE IS THE NEW SILICON VALLEY

>>60449263
And what if Amazon becomes Google in terms of whatever the fuck happened today at I/O?

POO

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>>60448921
Just looked that up.

HP:71% white
Salesforce: 65% white
Google: 59% white, 57% of tech
Microsoft: 58% white, 54% of tech
Facebook: 57% white
Apple: 56% white
Intel: 50% white, 47% tech
Yahoo: 50%
Amazon: 48% white

>>60449316
IN

>>60449328
sauce?

>>60449328
Google groups Asians, American born Pajeets and spics in with whites to skew the stats.

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>>60449240
See >>60449328
Applel is less white than Google/Microsoft
Only Intel and Amazon beat them, not surprising since Intel it's retarded and Amazon scalps the shit out of everything

>>60449343
I searched for "company" + diversity statistics

>>60449150
The arm designed by a trap too, so not all of them is a useless idiot.

>>60449172
Both are about equal, really.
Both have made language specs, large websites social and media, AI-related fields, VR, etc.

>>60449202
I'm more saying "fuck HTML5" in reference to their videoplayer, not in general.
Although HTML5 is still a fucking disaster not even ready for full-time use.
As much as I hated on W3C, they were 1000% correct when they said HTML5 wouldn't be ready for mainstream until 2018-2020.

There are so many stupid fucking decisions in HTML5, inconsistent shit, time-wasting on useless features that will only create even slower code for the sake of "easy coding" (read: retards)
Don't get me fucking started on Flexbox. Holy fucking disaster. There's been 3 god damn rewrites of a Tables for Layout replacement and NONE of them are good. NONE.
One of them was 22 THOUSAND lines of code and it was dropped because it was too slow.
GREAT. I can't wait for average website to hit the triple MB ranges just to display. THE FUTURE.
There's taking advantage of better hardware and being a fucking useless sub-standard trash coder supporter. HTML5 is the latter.
It is high-overhead as fuck to make it easier to develop from a retards point of view.

I'd rather have a broken and horribly unsecure Flash than HTML5.
All Adobe needed to do was disable file management, window control and other external scripting control since NOBODY used it, boom, most Flash security issues solved.
File management, at the most, should have been an Ask - Whitelist - Deny question per-flash file.

>>60449066

Y...you know that pic is from an NSA spook trying to rock the 80's and 90's punk look to attract hackers to apply for the NSA, right? This was before SJW crap hit critical mass.

>>60449267
That would be fun.

>>60449406
Facebook works with a modular model, they throw 800 engineers per group and then they pack the shit up.
https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=13856443
https://www.reddit.com/r/programming/comments/3r90iy/facebooks_code_quality_problem/
https://www.darkcoding.net/software/facebooks-code-quality-problem/

Is nonsense that an Android app that do so little is so bloated with shit, srsly

>>60449286
By then Jeff Bezos would already revealed that he is really Lex Luther

>>60449412
https://archive.org/details/WorkingAtNSAATechnologyPerspective

>>60449355
You just cant ever be fucking happy can you? Not until every company is run by a half-black half-asian transgendered woman adopted by a latino family.
The proof is right fucking there, whitey isnt magically making more money, you finally got what you wanted but noooo that's not fucking enough is it, you have to convince yourself they're lying to you so you can continue your insane crusade of justice.

>>60449449
You ever looked at Google Quality Code?
Open Gmail, open any JS file.

High-overhead shit-code of the likes of jQuery or other shit libraries.
muh gotta wrap stuff away from the global scope to make code portable and non-conflicting meme
Fucking cancer of the web.

There's been zero attempts to actually optimize JS engines to remove this overhead.
The overhead issues stem from new enclosures, each layer deep increasing overhead considerably.
It's insane how slower the parsing gets as you go deeper in to enclosure chains.

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>>60448783

>>60449481

This bolsters my point.

>>60449622
>implying i has any intention against it

>>60449340
LOO

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>>60449406
Best "why html5 is shit" post I've seen.

>this voice fry
Its like I'm listening to a whiny californian faggot... Oh yeah.

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>>60449406
>boom, most Flash security issues solved.

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FEI LING

>>60448800
>GF

>no arm

Anything about fuchsia?

I don't know why I still watch these.

That stump...

>diversity

>>60450173
I hope she's not self-conscious about it.

>progressive web apps
subtle

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>>60449406
>Flexbox is such a disaster!
>Proceeds to trash all the other implementations without mentioning Flexbox

why does she have a smart watch?

>>60450270
so she knows where to stop with her stub when she's fisting her transexual lesbian partner

>>60450159
Nope, just a big pile of shit... And some pretty things like Android GO

>>60450214
I don't need to trash Flexbox.
Just look at its syntax. It's awful.
It's somehow worse than the CSS3 animations spec, and that was universally the worst thing to happen to webdev syntax across any of the specs. I've never talked to anyone that has liked it.

>giving away the botnet for free
they're really pushing it hard

So when is moot going to talk at I/O?

>>60450576
I doubt he do orals this time.

>>60449412
Those are the people spying on us? Holy Christ we're fucked.

>>60450798

Kinda? This was more of their outreach effort based on what they've seen at Def Con for years and years. One of the booths has a charity mohawk/hairdye thing. Been around well before SocJus was around.

This was one of their retarded efforts to appeal to 1337 h4x0rz to apply to them. Used to be that dyed hair would disqualify you from getting a security clearance.

>>60449370
So nothing official. Perfect

What is google's deal with forcing you to say, Ok Google? That's like the worst possible phrase to say it's so fucking unnatural you wind up sounding like ookookgoogoo, like their fucking system is so smart you think it would be able to recognize an array of phrases like, hey google, or just google

>>60451295
apple has hey siri and google is a pretty common word so they dont want you to turn it on my accident

>>60448336
(๑•̀ㅂ•́)و
shots fired m8