In about 5 seconds, they'll bust your door. wat do?

Yell "Allahu Akbar"

>>60271738
Quickly unlock balcony door, jump from second floor, attempt to land on grass, then run for it.

hit tilda then type disconnect

Do a 360 and walk away

praise tatsuya I don't have to hang myself anymore.

>>60271738
assault them with a knife so they can shoot me to death

Go ahead and unlock it myself. It's annoying to repair a door.

>>60271738
Pull the plug. Oops forgot the password, niggers.

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>>60271738
get on the floor and walk the dinosaur -- naked, with train roll playing in the backgorund

>>60271747
they'll shoot to kill then. you're fucked kid.

>>60271803
I bet that you'd be in a shock and would panic and wouldn't do shit as they come in and point the gun at you.

>>60271821
I've been in high stress situations before and have a cameras over my doors. Stop projecting your insecurities.

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>>60271738
unmount all harddrives
overwrite ram with random data
Spam reset on hardway based key storage (for decrypting computer)
It probably would probably take less time to rebuild everything I had, compared to the amount of time I would be in prison.

Pull out the heavy duty magnets. GG

Log out my google drive

Hehe good luck cucks finding anything, all my illegal shit is in the cloud

>>60271738
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnKuATDRsBs

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remember this faggot? he talks a lot of shit online and had hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of buttcoins yet he used library's wifi and didn't even encrypt his drives. they caught him with his pants down.

fucking clown.

rest of you would fuck up even worse.... so don't do any illegal shit, toddlers.

Don't resist and ask for a search warrant. If they have the proper documentation, let them take whatever the warrant specifies. I have nothing to hide (on the devices currently in my possession). I will get my devices back in a matter of weeks and my company will likely sue the DOJ for lost productivity since this is my work laptop and there is no reasonable suspicion that I have used it for anything illegal.

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>>60271834
>unmount all harddrives
>overwrite ram with random data
go time yourself right now. go and try to do what you just said in 5 seconds. that's how long it would take for SWAT to bust your door open and come into your room.

you'd just panic and wouldn't do shit. by the time you'd realize what's happening, you'd already be spread on the floor.

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>>60271892
>he doesn't have a selfdestruct keybind

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>>60271803
>delusions of a retard

>>60271956
Your stick men comic has granted me an epiphany.

> 5sec - lock bedroom door so they have to bust through two doors, this will give me an extra 2 sec
> 5sec - close blinders so the cant see me
> 4sec - delete browser history
> 3-1 sec - destroy hard drive with hammer i keep under my bed for protection

Conclusion
no computer no evidence

wonder if my insurance covers being swatted by mistake.

I have nothing to hide, so nothing to fear

>>60271976
Good plan, until they take the smashed platter to the lab and repair the platter and extract the files.

>>60271975
>granted me an epiphany
?

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>>60271738

Ask if they want some tacos

>>60271738
Save a multi GB file on my Raid 0 SSD's whilst pulling out the sata plugs. and Clearing cmos at the same time.

>>60271956
Police can't do shit like that if you live in a free country.

>>60272047
at least not on the book ;)

>>60271738
I'd be wondering why they busted my door when they could have knocked.

>>60272047
Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

>>60272057
Because the U.S. is a police state and its cops are wannabe action movie stars.

>>60272047
>implying burgerland is free
ayy lmao

I'd show them my badge and tell them they have the wrong house.

Ask them why they are raiding a chicken restaurants after hours

>>60272016
>Implying a hammer strike can smash a platter.
They call the hard drives for a reason.

>>60271843
that's pretty good desu. How would the cops know what your google account is? It would be like finding a needle in haystack!

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I DON'T CONSENT TO SEARCHES I KNOW MY RIGHTS FOURTH AMENDMENT I DON'T RECOGNIZE THE LEGITIMACY OF YOUR WARRANT YOU ARE IN VIOLATION OF THE NON AGGRESSION PRINCIPLE AM I BEING DETAINED!?

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>>60272265
I AM A SOVEREIGN CITIZEN
I AM A CITIZEN OF THE EARTH
YOU CAN'T DETAIN ME REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

jokes on them i have incognito mode

M.2 SSD's blend pretty well.

>>60271956
you can use a hidden volume and use outer volume as a bait. nobody can tell if hidden volume exists or not.

>>60271738
>CORE PURGE

>OP asks a question
>shoots down any answer with rage and tears

Gee whizz what a great thread faggot

>>60272423
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ePBNGmxVK8

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>>60271738
>hear doorbell
>have PTSD

disabled that fucker.

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>Store your super hacker data on a microsd
>Insert it into your anus

>>60272472
Time for a cavity search.

>>60272440
lol. I always fantasized about something like that when I saw that as a kid.

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>>60272472

Spread those buttcheeks wide, son, gonna have to go in dry.

>>60271849
no. what did he do?

>>60272095
>implying anything else is more free than burgerland
>implying he implied burgerland
off my /g/ minimal wage Europoor dumb faggot

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>>60272472
What are the odds of the cops finding something as tiny as that if you hide it in some common objects around the house?

j-just asking out of curiosity of course

>>60272502
As far as my understanding goes, I'm pretty certain they're extremely thorough.

get naked so they run away

>>60272502
If they """know""" that it exists, they have dogs which have been trained to sniff out electronics.

>>60272509
that's why you hide it on someone else's property. they don't have a warrant for that.

>>60272539
clever girl...

>>60272421
>Hmmm, this 1 terabyte HDD only shows 500 gigabytes. Why, anon?
>Cheap Chinese shit, I tell ya.

>>60271738

Wonder what the fuck I'm doing in the US

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>>60272539
Maybe secure the encryption keys on that, so that you only need it when booting the computer. This way you don't have to use pneumatic tubes to send it to your neighbor when the fbi comes knocking on your door.

take my ak47 out and shoot them :)
my property biitch..

>>60272560
where you live, anon?

>>60272557
Unless you live in Bumfuck, Nowhere, the cops will have a forensics division (or a company that they outsource to) that will quickly figure out you have another partition.

>>60272497
lmao this burger is SEETHING. enjoy having a militarized police. gotta love your blacks who brought that shit to you. indeed the richest and most powerful government you have over there

>>60272521
>sniff out electronics
What if I place it inside electronics then? Hiding a tree in a forest etc

>>60272568
yeah, fuck them. they can't charge taxes either.

>>60272569

Yurop

>>60272047
name one

>>60271849
I am pretty sure his drives were encrypted. The police created a diversion and two officers jumped him and snatched his laptop before he could do anything. He was booting from a USB so he could yank it out if he thought shit was hitting the fan. He wasn't quick enough on the draw.

>>60271849
>implying my OPSEC is that bad

Roberts was a literal retard.

>>60272607
Unironically the US. Lawyers will sue over the slightest bruise or scratch, and your right to remain silent when asked for your encryption keys has been well established here. Countries like Britain actually require people to divulge their keys if asked, but the punishment for failing to comply may or may not be lighter than the punishment you'd get if they had the evidence on your drive.

>>60272557
retard every encrypted file is shown as full pre-selected amount of size. its not like it changes size after you add files, you select the size before you anything in.
you sure got me there you clueless fucking faggot

>>60272587
I'm not sure, but dogs have crazy accurate and strong sense of smelling.
I proposed in a previous thread that you could have a form of edible storage which would be digested when consumed.

>>60272614
what would he do with a usb if they were after him? eat it?

>>60272638
I would assume that there was an encrypted container on the drive, but I don't know.

>>60271738
Fucking nothing, because unless you're dealing black market kidneys from Pakistan (basically only applies to chinks that draged their shady asses here) or some shit like that there is little reason to get swated in my country.
>living in the US/UK
>being this cucked by own government

put on pants

>>60271834
>>60271892
>tfw friends brother destroyed thousands of dollars of computer shit bc of fbi pedo scare

lmfao you degens are great

That looks exactly like one of the maps in Rainbow6. The walls, everything.

Comply because I'm not a pedophile

>>60271821
>they'll shoot to kill then. you're fucked kid.
>implying thats not the plan

>>60272404
Couldn't they just take the Mobo

>>60271738
rm -rf /

>>60271738
open it so they won't break the door, and greet them in a nice way.

meet them at the door, greet 'em; the worst i have is a terabyte of assorted pirated games and music and if i don't comply i'm running a big fucking risk

>>60272614
>I am pretty sure his drives were encrypted
proofs?

>>60271738

They're going to need more power than just that handheld metal tube to bust down my door. Also, it's not my door so who gives a fuck.

>>60274335
>open it so they won't break the door, and greet them in a nice way.
Thats not how it works. They technically knock but they knock about half a second before they use the ram to bust the door lock.

They do this so you don't have the time to destroy any evidence.

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>>60271738

>>60276982
>They do this so you don't have the time to destroy any evidence.
That's the rationalisation, anyway.

In reality people just have killswitches on their front doors so when they're bust open the evidence is destroyed automatically. I think more people should have door killswitches, activated if the door is opened without being unlocked first.
That way the entire 'we gotta get in before they destroy evidence' is meaningless since there's no way to do it fast enough, so you knock, have them open the door and then just arrest them.

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Grab my gun, snort some coke and go out in a firefight

Pull the lever that drops my server down to the basement, where the industrial shredder is already spinning. Good luck recovering anything from tiny shreddings.

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>>60271834
Your ip had been logged and now ur on a watchlist you pedo fag i hope u die

>>60271738
Grab my AR-15 and go out in a blaze of glory

>>60272587
Actually not bad if it looks unaltered.

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Put my hands behind my head and lay down on the floor.

I don't do anything illegal that can really be traced to any physical degree. This isn't 'hurr I use vpn' it's more 'literal physical separation'. Either way, the stuff done that way is not even illegal either, just suspicious to authorities from time to time and they do seize it occasionally to investigate and it gets returned.

Fuck you coppers, I'M paying for MY electrical bill. Cunts.

Push the intercom button and warn them about the skunks in the hall.

I wonder. If you install giant electromagnet behind a wall to snatch their guns and a trapdoor with spikes, I guess you could save a few minutes.

I don't have drug or pedo content so if I'm attacked it means the state has overstepped its boundaries.
I chuck an ied upstairs and I try to run for it through the sewers grabbing the limited bugout bag I leave there.
Probably gonna get caught but if I don't, guess I'm a terrorist now.

>>60272614
All he had to do was shut the lip on his laptop and they would have never gotten anything

>>60272502
Not likely. They probably won't dig into a jar of peanut butter.

I'm at Work...
So uh, I'll get the text, open the cameras, and watch it go down.

A-and then there was a gas leak that leveled the dwelling. All officers inside perished

>>60277092
>>60277210
>>60272568
This.

Well they could probably say something about all the pirated games, software, and media that I have. Other then that I am clean.
I should probably encrypt my storage drives, and if I am ever forced to open (kept in jail forever) I'll unlock them. Although that wouldn't happen.

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>>60271843

>>60271849
Full story?

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All my/your problems are gonna disappear over night once these get big enough to take serious.

Can start moving stuff off hard drives. And hide them away.

>>60277004
story on that pic? what the fuck was that mission about?

>>60277666

How about installing the swimming pool so that if they don't know about the secret stairs, going upstairs will trigger a flood?

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nobody in my country gives a shit about my 10000 pirated games and shit and they probably won't look into my embarrassing sad-panda favorites. although i could get interrogated by security police by promoting nazism on facebook.

>>60278014

Aren't they 128gb or something already? Just but a dozen and set up a raid array with them.

>>60271976
>Spend 5 second to get extra 2
why don't you skip the first step, thus having more time to do the hammer thing ?

>>60271738
put some pants on.
If they want to hold me while going through my stuff, I rather not be naked.

>>60277931
>Full story?
silk road. article in wired about his takedown. search for it.

>>60272472
What if you just swallowed it? You'd have a good 8 hours to easily pass a cavity search then you can shit it out and flush it or clean it and resume activity

>>60271803
Theyre gonna hurry up and throw your shit in a freezer and use their low temp data recovery to steal all your henti

>>60271738
asking who is paying for the fucking door.

>>60280133
>implying they won't find some illegal shit on your computer and then will be able to confiscate everything... including your right
kek... stay clueless.

>>60271738
ctrl+n+t

>>60277703
No, it means they have the wrong address. Happens all the time, police are fucking tards.

>>60278014
As long as your OS keeps a log of recently used files, search index, thumbnail caches etc. on the hard drive, they have evidence against you anyway.

>>60280373
Windows is ridiculously notorious in this regard.

Look up Shell Bags and prepare to shit your pants

>>60271738
remove the boot usb and hit the reset button, It will boot from SSD and start wiping all drives.

>>60271738
Put my leg behind the door so that when they crush my leg, I can sue them

>>60271773
>Go ahead and unlock it myself. It's annoying to repair a door.
The only adult answer. /G has taught me how to on demand hide anything I need to hide. Them finding nothing will not repair my door.

>>60280202
they would not.
netflix subscriber.
spotify subscriber.
linux user.

fuck you sperglord

>>60271738
Disconnect that one external harddrive and put it in the bottom of that box of socks in the closet behind me.

Also I live in a country where that shit doesn't happen unless you're cooking crystal meth.

>>60271738
Jokes on you I'm homeless

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I am curious, whats the joke about?

Is there really shitload of pedophile here who need to delete evidence?
Or americans are afraid of pirated movies and music and software?
What is going on?

>>60271738
>he doesn't live in a nuclear reactor
I'm sure they'd break in!

>>60280957
>comes on 4chan
>claims he has no illegal shit
you're a motherfucking moron. your cache is full of illegal shit. they can crucify you just for coming here and that will be reflected in your history.

fucking idiot.

what software can i use to delete files so it rewrites the mft entry before wiping it? i know eraser exists, but i heard the original devs aren't involved anymore

>>60281163
not that anon, but what if my /tmp is encrypted with a random key that is overwritten at every restart, and my cache goes there?

>>60271738
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3KPSyNxnL8

>>60281227
>encrypted
kek'd. >>60271956

also,

https://www.techdirt.com/articles/20160428/07395434297/so-much-fifth-amendment-man-jailed-seven-months-not-turning-over-password.shtml

>>60271738
I activate my house's self destruct switch

>>60271738
Unlock door, let them in.
Ask them if they mind talking to my neighbor who's been shooting birds with an AR every morning around 6am.
If they want to see my computers, they can, but my steam account is kinda embarrassing, I only played For Honor for like 2 hours. What a waste

>>60281264
He implied he doesn't have the password to that partition.
Then again, if you wanna find something dirty on an anon, go ahead and search his cache. But it's not like he's actually a narco or a nonce. If the fucko is there either you're actually a target or they got the wrong adress again.

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>>60277817
Thank you anon.

>>60281369
>He implied he doesn't have the password to that partition.
... because people never lie. yes, that must be it.

>>60280373
Hard drive? Fuck that. Run a linux distro off of a USB drive and install a button that routes power stored in flash capacitors through the USB data lines at the push of a button. Physical destruction in under 1 sec.

>>60271738
I would report them for breaking the door to my dorm and demand an apology.

>>60272047
>free country
I assume you aren't talking about the Burgerland, where you can be indefinitely detained under suspicion of being a terrorist and be tortured without any opportunity of compensation.

>>60280455
and where will you get the money to pay for lawyer?
(your bank accounts will be frozen and your cash, taken by the authorities)

>>60281376
No problem anon, cheers.

Turn around and say "I bet you're wondering why I have gathered you all here" right as they burst in.

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>>60271738
Kek heartily and wait for a counter-terrorist unit to come kill these armed foreign nationals with no jurisdiction in my country.

>>60271738
If I've got dirt on my hands I'm already a criminal/terrorist. I fight back.
If I don't, then they're the criminals and this is home invasion. I fight back too.

>>60271738
open the door before they break it

>>60281428
Why bother physically destroying anything? Just use full disk encryption, and set up an emergency key that unmounts the partition and overwrites the header.

Looks less suspicious, and leaves no evidence that you destroyed evidence.

>You came just on time Guardians of Galaxy got torrented
Watch movie, become friends

>>60281040
Pedophiles, of course.
Why do you think they share their underage cartoon girls?
Because they're secretly pedophiles.

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>>60271738

>>60281527
>your back accounts will be frozen

Since when do cops do this?

>>60281040
Lurk more.

A large part of /g/ culture is security, privacy, and disdain for the US government overstepping its boundaries (which it does all the fucking time).

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>>60282132
so why are you wasting your life away hanging out with pedos (as you call us)? why don't you go on some non-pedo normie site instead?

>>60271738
unplug the usbKilll drive on my computer

>>60271738
Sit tight

>>60278351
Then don't promote nazism and play with your pirated gaymes. It's a good deal.

>>60271738
Pour some Black Velvet in a glass and wait until they leave.

>>60271821
>shoot to kill then
>american(or any western) police
>shooting shitskin nigger anytime instead of sucking his dick because 'muh diversity'
Yeah, he's pretty safe. Allah will save him this time unironically.

>>60271738
Nothing. I'm not home, and neither is my granny porn.

>>60272265
> I DON'T CONSENT TO SEARCHES I KNOW MY RIGHTS FOURTH AMENDMENT I DON'T RECOGNIZE THE LEGITIMACY OF YOUR WARRANT YOU ARE IN VIOLATION OF THE NON AGGRESSION PRINCIPLE AM I BEING DETAINED!?

What's the equivalent of this for canada?

>>60271803
>>60272047
>>60281520
Just to clarify: you are not obligated to provide a password if the police ask you. Passwords are "inventions of the mind" and are protected under the fifth amendment. If they do expect cooperation, they will have to grant you immunity for whatever is on that computer. That means that whatever they find cannot be used against you.

>being beaten with a wrench
Yeah that'll never happen in the US. We might have fucked politics, but this isn't Guatemala or Iraq.

>indefinite detainment
Possible but very unlikely unless the reason for your detainment is because of international communication and some kind of expectation that you are involved in a terrorist plot. Yes, anyone can be called a terrorist but it doesn't happen very often because then you have the ACLU blueballing you on every case and then congress repeals that ability to blatantly rape the rights of any citizen you please.

pull out the drill obviously

>>60272265
Why would they bust down your door if they didn't already have a search warrant?

Checkmate snek

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>>60281163
I read cuckify.

>>60271738
>hide the weed?
nope that's legal here
>hide the porn?
nope, all legit
>hide all the pirated media?
Well I guess I'm fucked.

>>60271738
>it's another autists keep stacking impossible situations on top of one another episode
My favorite.

My preferred solution is blowing up the house with c4 while I am in my bomb shelter.

>>60272557
>>60272583
If you guys don't know what a hidden Vera or Truecrypt volume is, look it up before commenting

>>60278351
Where do you live?

>>60281402
https://bbs.archlinux.org/viewtopic.php?id=54433

literally what i was talking about. i wouldn't have the key

>>60272966
Good, fuck pedos

BTW, what does /g/ have to hide, anyway?

>>60282605
And pedos. Lots and lots of pedos.

>>60284214
>nope that's legal here
what shithole are you from?

shoot hard drives and then shoot self

I would just get on the ground and as they put the cuffs on me and arrested me for subversion of state I would blow myself and all the pigs to the moon

>>60280400
>Look up Shell Bags and prepare to shit your pants
WTFF muh asshole. But I still have to use Windows for my games and other software that just werks. What do now?

>>60285127
Single greatest all-in-one Windows privacy tool, Privazer. Download it.

>>60277817
>the have sniffer dog
>dog sniffs out microsd
>eats through peanut butter to get to it
>chokes on microsd and dies

POLICE BTFO

>>60284338
Maybe the fact that if a sexualized looking 17 year old anime girl appears in my cache I could face prison time.

>>60282807
That faggot probably has real CP and hates himself for it.

>>60283497
>What's the equivalent of this for canada?
In Canada you don't have any rights. You can't even complain about total islamization of your frozen shithole.

Use script to change root password to something of a random page of the babel library

>>60285346
No doubt

>>60271738
Nothing because I'm not a fucking pedo

>>60285472
We got more than you do.

>muh guns

That's all you got. Enjoy your five years of "freedom" in the state pen because you got caught with a joint

>>60283753
>Yeah that'll never happen in the US
The US Government leased places in other countries exclusively for doing stuff like this.
There are black sites in the US itself for fucks sake

>>60285864

Kek. What freedoms does canada even have over usa?

>>60286003
The freedom to stick their penises in a dogs mouth.

>>60285864
>We got more than you do.
snownigger please! you don't even have the FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION! you have fucking HATE SPEECH LAWS and trbunals!

>>60285864
>That's all you got. Enjoy your five years of "freedom" in the state pen because you got caught with a joint
drug users should be jailed. no wonder you people are so fucking LAZY. you're evne lazier than mexicans. that's why your country's on a fast track to becoming another 3rd world shithole.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrg3EiPOzjA
Doko de demo~
doko doko made mo~

>>60271738
Eat my sdd.

>>60286244
Microwaving HDDs would work?

>>60271738
Shoot my dog so they don't get the chance to.

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>>60272502
They didn't even find Thad's backup.

>>60286753
holy shit the absolute madman

>>60286753
...until he posted this. What a stupid fuck kek. When's he getting out again?

>>60271849
His drive was encyrpted. They found him because his dumbass was using the same username that could be traced back to accounts on public forums.

>>60286794
>using usernames that aren't random strings
Heh

>>60281520
>where you can be indefinitely detained under suspicion of being a terrorist and be tortured without any opportunity of compensation
This only happens if your also born as an undesirable desert nomad.

>>60286753
I'll admit it, I'm a newfag. Could you guys please spoonfeed me and give me a rundown on madthad?

>>60281264
>link
i aint clickin that virus nigga

>>60286820
He is a black weeb lolcow that frequented this site, and posted cringe on youtube like his waifus birthday party. Once day he posted on facebook that he downloaded captain planet from this site, the cops showed up after someone reported his post. He turned out to not be lying and was promptly v&. He was released on bail a while later, until he broke the terms of his bail with this tweet >>60286753 three days before it was over. By breaking his bail he had to register as a sex offender, give all his future passwords on any website to the police, and he was sent back to prison. He gets out neat the end of 2018 where everyone will promptly laugh at him.

>>60271738
Remind them that it's only illegal to possess cheese pizzas, not to download them or view them. Streaming in a browser with no cache is completely legal.

>>60286935
what a fool. but 4 years is too fucking long!

>>60287112
The exact opposite, they gave him a ridiculously light sentence. This is probably because they thought he was mentally retarded for telling the world about his illegal activities numerous times publicly. His original conditions were only that he had to avoid the internet while on bail, and wear an ankle monitor. He was not required to register as a sex offender or serve jail time. However he decided to be an idiot and ruin his life so that he could make a tweet, there is a reason this guy is a laughing stock

text buddy asking the fuck he did that fed's are on my doorstep for.... again.

>>60286753
Is this the same guy I see a pic of him sleeping on the couch with framed picture of his waifu?

Ask to see a warrant.

>>60283753
>you are not obligated to provide a passwor
fyi if your in the border zones then this doesnt apply, you have to provide your passwords.

>>60287726
Yes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVS567-mTMA

>>60287726
https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/MadThad0890

Here's all you need to know.

>>60277167
stfu furfag.

>>60288246
Anon is cute! Cute!

>>60271738
Let out the worst fart in history. Maybe they'll stay out of my house for me to find an escape.

>>60271738
tell them it's unlocked

>>60287923
>child pornography
Good, one nigger fewer that we have running around (for a while).

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>>60272453

Arm my lethal booby traps.

>>60289173
They'll only take my guns from my cold, dead hands.

>>60271738
Oh lol- We can all say what we'll do if something like that happened but I'd just be scared as shite

How long could a car battery power a raspberry pi for.

Imagine, if you will, a pi connected to a car battery running local only WiFi server software that s remotely powered on by an SMS to a burner phone also jigged to the pi. On loss of user connection from pi, power off on pi

Unit is buried in neighbouring yard.

Would this yeild secure results?

>>60289203
why don't you just not watch cp? is it so hard?

>>60271892
>he thinks it would take 5 seconds to bust the door, traverse the house and attempt to find me in this mansion
Do you think we all live in 1 bedroom studio apartments.

what was that chink SSD with the self-destruct button? it literally fries/blows up the memory chip when you press it. it also has a wipe everything button that just writes over all the data if you have time.

>>60289224

These ideas aren't for pedos. Kill all pedos. Ill join you killing them. This idea is for securing data only.

>>60289239

Did BlackBerry have a pirate app that enabled swipe UP to fry mobo?

>>60289224
>why don't you just not do "x" because big bro told you

>>60289270
great argument. sure convinced me.

>>60289292

Can we separate the concept of securing data as being separate to cp, as topically there are not the same topic.

>>60286003
we don't get fucked over by $80, 000 worth of medical bills whenever we have children

alt+p (panic keybind)

Every time I see a pedo bust on the news, they seem to fall into 3 camps. Lonely men who can't get a gf and spend all their time online ( grooming undercover cops ) , stupid teenagers who fuck themselves over flirting with underagers, or obvious gay men ( lisps, floppy wrists, literally overtly gay body language )

Thanks for reading my trash

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>>60271738

>>60271738
>freeze time
>walk away
>radio in
>mission failed ...we'll get em next time

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>>60271738
Thermite. The answer is always thermite.

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>>60277620
Kek

>>60289312
what are you securing exactly?

>>60289521
Assets, if you know what I mean.

>>60289521

What about a but coin key
Ebooks
Resume
Movies and games
Text files
Nude pics of my wife

What can't i secure whatever the fuck I want, Jesus h Christ, man, you suck.

>>60271849
Is that the photo of him the moment the FBI flew through the library windows to arrest him?

>>60271849
He was encrypted, that's why it took so long to bust him.

>>60289521
To be honest, just having a basic blackpowder, or tannerite recipe on your hard-drive can be used as evidence for constructive intent if you're raided and have say.. stump remover, high sulfur fertilizer, some decent wood charcoal for barbecuing and biodiesel for your truck that you're converting to run.

>>60272265
>I deny the authenticity of a warrant from a court with a fringed flag
>if you enforce international law of me, I will act with deadly force
Get sniped from my neighbors balcony.

>>60286003
Net Neutrality

>>60283936
But how can I know they have a warrant if they burst through the door and point their guns at me immediately?
As far as I know, they're home invaders in milsurp.

>>60271738
>they burst the door
>I sit at the kitchen table
>drinking a beer, smoking a cigar
>I'd say something like "Alright, alright, alright!"
>and then they should tell me what the fuck they want
>and then they'd find nothing
>The End

>>60290189
>AY YO HOL UP YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR
*shoots your dog*
>So you wuz sayin'
*kicks your furniture over*
>you wuz sayin
*pepper sprays your wife*
>you were with the alt-right alt-right alt-right?
*tazes your infant daughter*
>you're gonna meet my cousin bubba in prison you filthy nazi
*breaks your nose*

>>60290239
>you were with the alt-right alt-right alt-right?

10/10 - made my smile.
Good job, Anon.

>>60271738
>grab tactical vest, filter mask, bump helmet and m4
>sneak out back way
>circle around and join in lineup at the last man in right as they breach the door
>drop the blast shutter that built into the top of the door frame as the guy in front of me clears the threshold
>steal the cruiser the captain arrived in after lighting the mrap's tires on fire.


unfortunately my local swat team would probably not notice an extra guy at the back of the line because they don't really train together since they're multi-agency.. no one knows each other and because their training and use of force doctrine is different from department to department they've actually had blue on blue shootings more than once.

The idea a target could sneak around and trap them in a building... is probably not too far from reality.

>>60271843
You're pretty good, I chuckled heartily.

>>60271738
Realize I don't live in a US of A and it would take them at least an hour to get through my doors.

>>60272568
Where do you live. I want in

>>60271738
load a bowl

pot is legal in Washington and before that it was the only law I ever broke
at this point i have nothing to bother hiding

>>60284338
Maybe we are... HACKERS!! :0000

>>60271738
don't do anything, let them do whatever they want, I don't have any kind of password on anything, anybody can turn on my pc and look in it, especially when I am not at home

if I get jail time i kill myself. I don't lose anything, i had an awesome life I lived how I wanted, they lose a working individual of the society

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>>60271738
Grab my 1937 german mauser and my single action colt navy; get shot because I live in eastern yurop and I ain't allowed to keep ammo for my gunz.
>shiiiieeeeeet

>>60278049
I think it's a clip from the movie Backdraft

fap furiously

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The cops came to my house once and it freaked me out because I was jerking off to some nasty porn at the time.
For one thing I had to go to the door in the middle of jerking my ween, secondly I was afraid it might be my last jerk or something so I wasn't sure if I should just quickly finish but I decided not to so I just came to the door and said my dad got in an car accident and was dead so it was fine.

>>60291021
Don't make jokes like that bruh

>>60271755
That's a stupid plan, you'd never outrun the police unless you had devised a very elaborate plan to manage living the rest of your life as a fugitive. (Given your answer of "just jump from the building and run, LOL", I'm assuming you don't.)

It would be better to simply surrender and try your luck in the court. If the police is banging at your door then you have already fucked up, trying to run would only fuck things up even more.

First of all, I'd unlock and open the door so I don't have a broken door while at the station.
Secondly, I'd willingly come along with them and answer any question, being as cooperative as I can be.
Lastly, I'd lock my door after they give me a ride back home for the mistake.

Or if I lived in America, probably act nervous as fuck to the guns, sperg out and probably end up killing myself in some retarded way.

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>>60291028
About jerking off to nasty porn or dead dads?

>>60272631
Perverting the course of justice isn't a fun charge to get hit with senpai

I wouldnt mind, all my servers have full disk encryption enabled. When they unplug my shit they're not gonna get them running without a password and physical passkey. Also, they'd only find my family pics, my cv's and some other personal stuff.

>>60271821
> they'll shoot to kill then. you're fucked kid.
Not if he's in Britbongistan, Frenchistan, Gemanistan or Swedistan. Then they'll apologise profusely for bothering you, will offer to pay for your door, and offer their pre-teen daughters up for your enjoyment.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CiBI0yrtHUo

>>60283753
They can only force you if you give off implications that you do know the password. If you just keep your mouth shut they can't force you, but if you do imply you do know it they can force you to unlock it.

>>60271763
Underrated

>>60271738
you fuckers better pay for that door and for wasting my time, i need to watch my youtube videos

>>60281040
Does one need a reason for privacy? it is a right.

>>60286935
AAHAAahahahahaha lol
How dumb can he be????

>>60287914
Wait he's black...
No wonder... The IQ mannn

>>60292805
>Frenchistan
You wish. The police itself isn't too harsh on the immigrants but the Intervention groups and the military police are pretty heavy handed.
If they're doing no knock raids you risk getting shot even if you're peaceful if they don't get the drop on you.

>>60281883
Because I'm not even that good at fixing computers and even I've done post-rewrite data recoveries. Just imagine what kind of data recovery the government is capable of. If I had anything worth hiding, I'd hide it well.

>>60286968
>Streaming without cache
Either you don't understand how internet works or some crazy bastard figured out how to display information without downloading it.

On a side note, even monitors have short-term cache.

>>60289203
>How long could a car battery power a raspberry pi for
Depends on what you have attached to it and whether you run it off of 5VUSB or 3VGPIO.
>Imagine, if you will...
No.
>Would this yeild secure results?
No. Just boot from a UBS array and store your drives in different locations. The NSA would spend months trying to 'decrypt' your drives without ever realizing that your data is split between two devices.

>>60289239
That's basically the same thing as >>60281428

>>60289521
It's not always about hiding CP from the NSA. I keep my BTC passwords on a flashdrive, and would rather lose them than let them get stolen.

>>60289863
So you're saying that if I have a pdf that explains how to make acetoneperoxide (a cold high explosive) and I also have mouthwash and nailpolish remover in my bathroom, I could end up in a blacksite for the rest of my life? Excuse me while I go pull the platters from my HDD and toss them in the fireplace.

>>60291029
>a very elaborate plan to live the rest of your life as a fugitive.
>>1001857
Something like that.

>>60271738
activate it

>>60271763
This.

>>60271738
bust me again daddy

>>60271738
Probably open the door for them or unlock it. I don't have anything for them to find so they'd probably be there on a bogus tip.

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>>60286935
>tfw when you first tough he got arested for a captain planet episode

>>60283753

>Just to clarify: you are not obligated to provide a password if the police ask you. Passwords are "inventions of the mind" and are protected under the fifth amendment.

>thinks you need a password to access a hard drive's data

kek

>>60278014
>>60278361
256GB is the biggest i could find.

>>60271956
>Posting xkcd on /g/

>>60297262
>doesn't know what a disk array is.

>>60278014
Trained dogs will find them even if you put them up your ass

I wonder why /g/ is so scared about having the FBI knocking at their doors

For me (no fbi in France anyway), they have to deal with the 2.30 meters high portal and the guard dogs

For hiding the computer, i can even lost it during the hiding process

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>>60271738
Give them a Pepsi***

I hope you have a case at hand

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I just do nothing cause all I got on my pc is reaction pics with emojis attached to them. Also I don't pirate anything. I just buy my games from G2A.

>>60296082
Once it's out of the cache, it's no longer illegal. And "he probably had it in the past but he doesn't have it anymore" isn't enough for a conviction unless they can prove willful destruction of evidence, which requires you to know that it's evidence when you delete it.

>>60297726
Leave, normie.

>>60297842

I agree with you, normies doesn't watch creepy cp material you fucking weirdo

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>>60297842
its just emoji file names plz no bully. id rather pay for my games so i can play with my friends why are you pestronizing ME???? And you can just watch pirated meterial on google videos or some shit. Downloading Pirated meterial is what idiots do tb?h

>tfw the other pizza thread was deleted by SJW mods that can't handle healthy discussion
At least I wasn't banned, I guess.

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>>60297929
Cheese pizza isnt related to /g/ faggot, also aren't sjws pushing pedophilia? dumb commie

>>60271738
"Are you those hookers I ordered?"

>>60271738

$ sudo ~/panic.rb

I know it works because I've tested it on a cloned hard drive. It takes about 20 seconds to run.

>>60298027
They'll have your PC ripped out of the wall within 10 seconds, nice try.

>>60271976
>> 3-1 sec - destroy hard drive with hammer i keep under my bed for protection

Destruction of evidence is a crime itself.

>>60297287
At least she isn't posting it on /co/.

>>60272421
>nobody can tell if hidden volume exists or not.

I don't know, the British have that password disclosure law.

They're probably retarded enough to jail someone for failing to prove something doesn't exist.

>>60297967
Freedom of speech and open internet is as /g/ as it gets. And no, SJWs hate pedos because they're mostly feminazis who hate all men, classical feminists who want to limit men's choices for partners, or LGBTs that gained popular acceptance by throwing the likes of NAMBLA under the bus and don't want to undermine their "consenting adults" tagline.

>>60297828
>Once it's out of the cache, it's no longer illegal
If it was illegal to begin with, it's still illegal if it's not in cache, it's just no longer in your possession.
>requires you to know that it's evidence when you delete it.
If you have a setup in which private financial information is protected by a 'destruct-on-tamper' protocol, and happen to also have illegal material on that drive, would that be willing destruction of evidence or would the fact that the police destroyed it via tampering, rather than you, make a difference?

>>60298060
Highly unlikely. But even if they do, the script will probably have performed it's main task by then. Plus, the UPS will give it a few seconds extra.

Sure are a lot of people here who're completely oblivious to how the law works.

For example, you do have the right to see the evidence against you before entering a plea.

>>60298161
I hate pedos with a passion but I laughed out loud at you having a fucking UPS, jesus fuck you creeps really are paranoid mess heaps of shit, also >>60298064 anddddd kys.

>>60298192
Yeah, what kind of faggot would want to make sure his work gets saved and machine gets shut down properly when the power goes out unexpectedly?

>>60298153
Just set your browser to delete its cache when it's closed and close out of your browser before you stand up from your computer. That's best practices for privacy, not destruction of evidence. There's no need to boobytrap anything.

>>60298211
Don't beat round the bush you pathetic loser you know damn well why you got that UPS for and you said it yourself. >>60298161
Don't matter though, if they're already kicking down your door it's because they already have something on you.

>>60290882
Maybe you have autism :OOOO

>>60298255
>if they're already kicking down your door it's because they already have something on you.

Not entirely accurate.

Why do you think police interrogate people? It's because they don't have enough evidence against them, and hope they'll incriminate themselves.

If they had evidence, they'd just skip that entirely.

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>>60291021
Kek

>>60291021
>For one thing I had to go to the door

Learn to talk out of a window.

>>60298244
>>60298255
Let's be clear, here. >>60298161 wasn't me, and I don't keep anything illegal on my machine. What I do have is some personal financial and tax documents which if were to get stolen, could cause me major headaches. I'd rather keep my data on a device that becomes unusable if stolen than deal with someone trying to get all my banking information.

>>60298296
>>60298375

HA@ self-destruct commands/switches.

When they hurl in flash bangs through windows and breach from all entrances you won't even be focused on doing that you'll be shocked and stunned, pissing yourself and within seconds have feds pinning you to the floor while your beta ass starts to tear up knowing you're fucked, even if you somehow managed to activate such within mere seconds of luck once you're pinned they'll bring in the "ice team" - for your RAM, freeze it and review the contents, no matter how you look at it you can't cover every angle, you just fucking can't.

>>60298474
If you do this: >>60298244 you're safe as long as you don't actually have a pizza open when they smash your door and flashbang your baby and shoot your dog. The only way for them to reliably catch you in the act is hidden microphones or cameras or remote screen viewing or something, in which case you're already fucked regardless of when they decide to v& you.

>>60291167
those two things are the same

>>60271738
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSRso98V-os

>>60277167
Says the furfag. You are not better.

>>60298474
>flash bangs
>breach from all entrances
>"ice team" - for your RAM
I don't think burglars have those resources, Anon.

>self-destruct
>you somehow managed to activate
You don't even understand how this works, do you?

>>60299163
>burglars
FEDs, LEA, FBI, Local Sheriff/SWAT joint ops etc.

>breach from all entrances
Most houses have a front and back door, even with extra 3rd and 4th side doors. All entry points even better if glass.

>"ice team" - for your RAM
Couldn't be fucked finds links but yes they can essentially freeze your RAM on the spot to ensure more potential evidence is collected.

>self-destruct
Read over thread, multiple retarded pedos mentioning this type of placebo.

Now neck yourself for being ignorant.

>>60299244
Ignorant of what? You're the one thinking that I need to be worried about the FBI knocking down my door, when I clearly said my only concern was burglary.

>>60299244
>FEDs, LEA, FBI,
I think you should research what those terms actually mean.

>>60299308
That dipshit doesn't even know that you don't have to 'manually' active a 'self' destruct. You really think he'll figure out that FBI is Fed and all Fed are LEA?

>>60299301
OPs pic is LEA, not burglars though you dumb ass.

>>60299308
FEDs = FBI
LEA = Law Enforcement Agents, this can be a number of things. In the case of rounding up pedos like you though most likely Sheriff team like OPs pic.

>>60299390
Yes, so you've listed the FBI three times and local PD/Sheriff twice. Why not just say LEA once?

>>60299390
>OPs pic
That's your argument? lol. Like any thread ever has been restricted to situationally-specific scenarios.
>FEDs = FBI
Wrong again. FBI is Fed, but not all Fed is FBI
>pedos...Sheriff team
Really? You're this stupid? They might present the warrant and maybe provide SWAT, but that's Federal law, FBI would be running that.
>LEA = Law Enforcement Agents
Yay! You got one right! Here, let my get you a cookie!

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>>60293162